Kuye kwaphawula isikhathi eside ukuthi abameleli bobulili obunamandla, bebandayo futhi bevinjelwe izimo, bakhanga isithakazelo sabesifazane ngaphezu kwamadoda abonisa imizwa yabo evulekile. Amadoda alolu hlobo agcina abesifazane emagqeni athile, amathenda namazwi amancane abahlukile kubo. Kuyafana nokuncoma. Baqiniseka ngombono wabo ngakho-ke cishe abavumelani nhlobo ngokungalungi kwabo. Kulandela ukuthi ukuxolisa ngamadoda alesi sigaba kukhona kakhulu, okungajwayelekile. Uma zonke izici ezingenhla zivela kumlingani wakho, khona-ke ungasho ngokuqiniseka ukuthi unomuntu obandayo ngokomzwelo.
Ingabe kube khona ukubekezela okwanele?
Lo ngumbuzo oyinhloko, lapho intombazane kufanele iphendule khona, ngubani okhethile ummeli wesilisa obandayo. Empeleni, lokhu netak kubonakala sengathi.
Phela, zonke izintombi zidinga isigamu sakhe sesibili ukuba sikhumbule kuye ukuthi uyathandwa kangakanani, ukuthi kuhle kangakanani ukuba khona. Ukuzwa uthando ngocansi oluhle kubaluleke kakhulu. Kodwa, uma ukhethe uhlobo oluthile lomuntu, oluhambisana nokubandayo ngokomzwelo, kuzodingeka uvume ukuthi ngeke uzwe konke lokhu. Kufanele nje uqiniseke ngemizwa yokhethiweyo wakho, ngoba ngamazwi lokhu kuzoqinisekiswa kaningi.
Futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, akukho lutho oluzoshintsha. Ngakho-ke, kukhona ukuhluka okubili, noma ukuba eduze komuntu onjalo futhi uthathe njengenjalo, noma cha. Uma ukhethe ukhetho lokuqala, khona-ke sizokunikeza amathiphu wokuthi ungahlala kanjani kumuntu oyedwa.
Thatha umuntu ukuthi ungubani
Lesi iseluleko esiwusizo kakhulu kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, kodwa kulokhu, ikakhulukazi. Ungazami "ukulungisa" othandekayo. Emva kwakho konke, kunjalo, futhi kunjengokuthi wathandana nayo. Futhi njengoba kwenzeka kanjalo ukuthi nguwe ozwelayo futhi ozwelayo phakathi kwakho, yenza ngokuhlakanipha ngokukhululekile. Yipha imfudumalo yakho ethandekayo nothando, futhi mhlawumbe, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, indoda yakho izofunda indlela yokubonisa ukukhathazeka kwayo. Kodwa ukuhlambalaza ukuthi ubanda kakhulu nge-swami kungukuthi awunawo ukunakekelwa okwanele namazwi amnandi, kuphela okuyokwenza ngcono ubuhlobo bakho futhi ngeke kuholele kunoma yini enhle.
Funda ukuveza imizwa ngesibonelo sakho
Kunzima kakhulu ukuba umuntu ahlaziye futhi aqonde izenzo ezahlukene zesifazane. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi sicabanga ngezindlela ezahlukene. Futhi akuyona into engokwemvelo ukuba indoda ibonise imizwelo ngendlela owesifazane enza ngayo. Kulesi simo, kubalulekile ukukhombisa ngesibonelo sakho ukuthi ungaziphatha kanjani esimweni noma kwenye.
Ake sinike isibonelo. Wena, ovela emsebenzini, khalaza mayelana nokuphila kwakho kwesibili. Futhi emva kwezindaba eziningi futhi ezingokomzwelo uthola ukusabela ngendlela eyomile. Yilapho lapho udinga ukuchaza ukuthi yini ofuna ukuyizwa ekuphenduleni lesi simo. Mhlawumbe ungathanda ukuzwelana, ukutholwa noma ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo. Noma isibonelo esinjalo, ubuya ekhaya futhi usho ukuthi ulahlekelwe kangakanani, futhi akuphenduli lutho oluqondakalayo. Lapha futhi kufanele uqonde ukuthi ungathanda ukuthini ngempela ukuzwa. Ngisho noma "nami", lokhu sekuvele ngokwanele. Kumele kucaciswe ukuthi ukuxoxa okuncane ngalezo zingxoxo kuzokulethela injabulo enkulu. Ngakho-ke, masibe yizicathulo, kodwa indoda yakho ngosizo lwakho, ngokuphendula izikhalo zakho zizoqala ukukuzwela futhi zikhuleke, zinamazwi othando ukuphindaphinda. Uma uthatha lo mbuzo ngokungathí sina, kamuva, ngesigamu sakho, le fomu yokuxhumana iyoba yinto evamile.
Shintsha izinguquko ekuziphatheni kwesigamu sakho ukuze kube ngcono
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhuthaza zonke izinguquko ezinhle ezenzweni zeziqhingi. Isibonelo, ukuthandana okuthandayo, ukushiya indlu. Qinisekisa ukuthi uyabiza, ukuthi uyayithanda kanjani nokuthi inkulu kangakanani. Indoda kumele iqonde ukuthi lokhu kuyisimo esincane, esingabizi lutho kuye, futhi futhi kukunika injabulo enkulu.
Ungalokothi uqaphele lokho okulindelekile
Ungalindi kakhulu. Yebo, ezinye izinto eziyisiza ngosizo lwesineke sakho zingalungiswa. Kodwa ungakhathazeki. Indoda yakho injalo, yimuphi umvelo owadalwa ngokwemvelo, isisekelo somuntu asinakuguqulwa. Ngakho-ke, jabulela ezinye izithako ezinhle ekuziphatheni komuntu, okunye okuncane kokufudumala kwe-Ilaski. Kodwa, kunoma yikuphi, thola othandekayo wakho njengoba ekhona. Ngitshele, amagama amahle abaluleke kangaka? Noma zonke izenzo ezibalulekile ezingezona zangempela, hhayi amagama nhlobo.
Isikhalo ku-psychoanalyst
Ezweni lanamuhla, ukuvakashela kwengqondo kwengqondo kuyindlela ewusizo futhi ewusizo. Kule ndaba, ingabe impande yokuziphatha okubandayo engokomzwelo ikhona emfundweni, noma ngesakhiwo sobuntu, kodwa ezingqondweni zesikhathi esidlule ezihlulekile? Kulesi simo, isazi sezengqondo kuphela esizosiza ukulungisa konke.