Kuvame ukukholelwa ukuthi isehlukaniso emva kweminyaka emihlanu kuya kweyishumi yokuphila okuphephile ndawonye kuyisivivinyo esinzima kakhulu kowesifazane. Kunoma yikuphi, umkhuba wawuqinisekiswa ukuthi isigamu esihle sabantu sidinga usizo lochwepheshe. Amadoda, futhi okudingekile ukuba ahlale phansi, ngokuvumelana nokuvumelana nezimo ezintsha zokuphila. Kodwa-ke, eminyakeni engaba ngu-10 eyedlule, izazi ze-psychotherapists zaqala ukumangaza ngokumangala ukuthi amadoda ahlukanisile iningi labo azizwa bengakhululekile, njengoba bonke bejwayele ukukholelwa. Indoda iziphatha kanjani ngemva kwesahlukaniso, nendlela yokuziphatha ngayo nathi - abesifazane? ..
NEZINHLANGANO EZIPHINI
Ukuze uhlolisise kahle ukulinganisa kwalesi simo, okuzoxoxwa - owesilisa ozwakalayo syndrome - okokuqala ake sikhulume ngokuthi singadlulisela kanjani inkululeko yabesifazane. Isibonelo, omunye wabachwepheshe abakhulu kunokwelashwa kwengqondo, uNorman Farberou, uphikisa ukuthi cishe akukho ocansini obuhle ngemuva kokuhlukanisa nokuwa kweyunyunyana eyayikhona iminyaka eminingana ayibuyelanga ezingeni elidlule lempilo yengqondo nengokwenyama. Kunoma yikuphi, owesifazane oneminyaka eyisishiyagalolunye ohlukanisile, ngokusho kwezibalo, uzama ukuxazulula izikolo ngokuphila. Ngamunye umuntu wesine uphendukela kumsizi we-psychotherapist usizo (nakuba abangaphezu kwesigamu sabesifazane abazikhulule emiphakathini yomndeni bahlangabezana nokucindezeleka okudinga ukwelashwa). Futhi ngaphezu kwengxenye yazo zonke izidakamizwa ezidinga ukucindezeleka ezithengiswa emazweni okuthiwa ziphucukile zitholwa ngabesifazane abasesimweni sokuhlukanisa okungaphansi konyaka!
Kubantu, okungenani ekuqaleni, kulula kakhulu. Futhi lokhu kuqinisekiswa ucwaningo: Amaphesenti angu-65 amadoda ahlukanisile aphinde ashade phakathi neminyaka emihlanu yokuqala. Konke lokhu kuyaqondakala kusukela endaweni yokubuka kwengqondo. Iqiniso liwukuthi wonke umuntu osevele ehlangene nokuhlukana nomuntu obalulekile - umama. Lapho uneminyaka engama-5-7 ubudala, abafana bavuselelwa ngokwengqondo. Kancane kancane bayeka ukuzizwa beyingxenye yomama futhi, njengoba izazi ze-psychotherapists zithi, ziguquka zibe yindoda engaphansi kwesilisa. Ngakho-ke, ukuphumula kwesibili nomfazi othandekayo nothandekayo kulula kakhulu. Eminye amaphesenti angu-15 ama-sexes anamandla athola umndeni omusha phakathi kweminyaka engu-5 no-10 yesigaba sesibili sokuphila kocansi. Kodwa amaphesenti angu-20 asele manje enza into yokuhlola ngokucophelela kwezingqondo ze-psychotherapists, ngoba zakha umndeni omusha (noma uthole umlingani ohlala njalo) eminyakeni engama-20 noma ngaphezulu emva kokuqedwa komndeni wokuqala.
NGAMAGAMA OMPHA
Ukuze uqonde ukuthi kungani amadoda amaningi kangaka abhekene nezinkinga eziningi ezingokwengqondo (ngemuva kwazo kanye nezempilo), ngokuba "ngokukhululekile," kufanele akhulume ngamathemba ababhekana nawo emzamweni wokuhlukanisa.
♦ Amadoda amaningi athemba ukuthi, ngokuzikhulula kumlingani wabo womthetho, bazohlangana nowesifazane ofanelekayo - enhle kakhulu, enhle, enomusa, enakekelayo futhi ephindaphindiwe. Okokuthi, ukukhathala kusuka ocansini yobulili lwe-conjugal kwansuku zonke kuvuselela izindiza zefantasy, okusiza ngokudonsa izithombe ezinhle kumcabango futhi zithembisa ukuzwa kocansi okucacile, kanye nabalingani abahlukene.
♦ Futhi eyesibili, isisusa esibucayi kakhulu sokuqeda ubudlelwano nomndeni yisifiso sokuqeda umthwalo wemindeni. Noma okungenani unciphise lo mthwalo wemfanelo.
IZINDLELA ZI-ILL-TERMED
Kodwa-ke, ukudakwa kwenkululeko esanda kutholakala emadodeni kuqhubeka, njengokubusa, izinyanga ezimbalwa kuphela, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngisho namasonto. Futhi, kancane kancane, kodwa ngokuqinisekile, ukukhungatheka kuyaqala ukungena emphefumulweni.
Njengoba evele "enenkululeko", le ndoda ayiziphathe kahle ukuthi ingathanda kanjani. Abamele ubulili obuqine kakhulu bazama ukuqaphela kuqala izifiso zabo ezingcolile zocansi. Njengomthetho, abalingani abaningana bavele ngesikhathi esisodwa: enye inomphela, enye ingokwesikhashana. Futhi kaningi lezi zixhumanisi zesikhashana (amahora amabili nantathu) zixhuma kakhulu. Nakuba kuwukuthi amadoda nawo anethemba elikhulu kakhulu. Iqiniso liwukuthi isondo esishadile sinesici esisodwa esibaluleke kakhulu. Sikhuluma ngalokho okuthiwa ukulungiswa - kwengqondo nokuphila ngokomzimba. Ngemuva kweminyaka embalwa yokuhlala ndawonye ukukhanga okhethekile ngokocansi (ngokomzwelo), lo mbhangqwana, azizwa, kodwa injabulo iza ngokushesha, ngokwanele preludes kanye nemicabango. Ubuhlobo obuseduze bukhona ngokungafani, kodwa izinga lokuzijabulisa livame ukuphakama, ukuphuma kuqala ngokushesha - kungakapheli imizuzu engu-4-5. Futhi konke lokhu kuhlangene kunika umuzwa wenduduzo.
Kodwa ukuphila okusondelene nabalingani abasha nabangakajwayele kudinga kusuka kumuntu izindleko ezinkulu ezingokwengqondo nezomzimba. Okokuqala, umlingani kufanele athambekele ebuhlotsheni obuseduze. Okwesibili, kudinga ukucindezelwa isikhathi eside. Okwesithathu, isenzo socansi ngokwedlulele futhi "sinamandla kakhulu". Ngokwezibalo, ngesikhathi sokusondelana nomkakhe, ukushaya kwenhliziyo emadodeni kunyuke ngo-8-10 beats ngomzuzu futhi kugcina kule nqanga kungakapheli imizuzu engu-3-5 emva komvuthwandaba. Uma lo mlingani esisha, inhliziyo yezinsikazi ishaya isilinganiso sokushaya kwemivimbo engu-30-40 kaningi kunokujwayelekile futhi "iyancipha" imizuzu engu-10-20 kuphela ngemuva kokufinyelela i-orgasm. Kubuye kube ne-nuance yesine: emva kwesenzo socansi nomlingani omusha udinga ukuqhubeka nokuxhumana, futhi kaningi futhi uyomthatha ekhaya. Yiqiniso, ukusondelana okunjalo kuletha injabulo eminingi, kodwa kuthatha amandla amaningi, kunciphisa ukusebenza kahle, isifiso sokubonisa isinyathelo, njll.
I-curious kakhulu, noma ibuhlungu ngasikhathi sinye, yilokho, ngokusho kocwaningo lwezingqondo ze-psychotherapists ezivela emazweni ahlukene, iningi lamadoda ahlukanisile phakathi nonyaka nengxenye ngemuva kokuhlukaniswa komshado isinciphise kakhulu umsebenzi wobulili. Abaningi babo baze banqabe izinhlinzeko zobulili ezicacile ezivela kubantu besifazane, ngokuvamile bebancane futhi benesimo sengqondo.
Ngaphezu kwezinkinga zokuphila kwakhe, kuphakama izinkinga ezithinta umphakathi. Yebo, isidingo sokuthatha umthwalo wemindeni akudingeki sinyamalale, kodwa amahlombe omunye womuntu ahlezi emahlombe abesilisa abathintekayo - umthwalo wakhe. Futhi manje, ekuphendukeni okunjalo kwezehlakalo, abameleli abaningi bezocansi ezinamandla akulungile neze. Okokuqala, akekho ozoxhumana naye ezikhathini ezinzima, akekho ozokhononda izinkinga. Phela, indlovukazi, ngisho nomusa kakhulu, ayisondelene njengomfazi, ngakho-ke akuwona wonke umuntu ozovula ngaphambi kwakhe. Futhi akuzona zonke izinduna ezizolalela umyeni wakhe ekhononda ngekusasa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, emva kwamasonto amaningana okuphila kokuphila, amadoda amaningi athola izifiso eziningi ezilimazayo, njengokuthi: isifiso sokuphuza ngokweqile, isifiso sokudla ngokumnandi nokuningi kakhulu, kubandakanya phakathi nobusuku, njll. Abesifazane banezifiso ezimbalwa, futhi, njengoba behlelwe ngokwengeziwe futhi behlelwe kangcono, ubulili buyakwazi ukucindezela kalula izifiso ezivusa amadlingozi. Ngendlela, ezingeni elingenakuqaphela, amadoda azizwa lesi sici sabesifazane futhi ngokuvamile ashada emshadweni ukuze aqiniseke ukuthi umfazi usiza ukuba aqukethe ukuziphatha okulimazayo. Ngeshwa, leli qiniso alihlehlisiwe engqondweni, ngakho-ke, umthwalo omusha wedwa uphenduka ukucindezeleka okukhulu kwamalungu amaningi obulili obuqinile.
Ngakho-ke, zonke izici ezingenhla zokuphila "mahhala" ngokuvamile ziholela ekutheni amadoda amaningi cishe unyaka nonyaka ngemva kwesahlukaniso aqala ukuzizwa ecindezelekile, edidekile, anentshisekelo ebonakalayo emsebenzini. Ukuhlukunyezwa kotshwala (okuvame ukwedlula ubhiya) kanye nokudla yizimpawu ezivame kakhulu zesifo se-post-mortem syndrome kumalungu obulili obuqinile. Ngaphezu kokunciphisa isifiso sobulili, esishiwo kakade, ezinye iziphazamiso esiteshini esiseduze zivame ukubonakala.
BENZA ABASIFAZANE NGOKWENZA
Kunesimo esithile sokuthi amadoda aziphatha kanjani ngemva kokuhlukanisa. Phakathi nonyaka wesibili ngemuva kokuqedwa kobudlelwane, wonke umuntu ohlukanisile wesithathu uqala ukucabanga kanzima ngokubuyela emndenini wakhe wangaphambili. Futhi sekugcineni wonke umuntu wesine uqala ukushada nomkakhe wangaphambili! Yiqiniso, amanye amadoda azama ukuphunyuka esizungu sabo, ethola umndeni omusha. Kodwa-ke, izingxenye ezimbili kwezintathu zazo emva kwesikhathi ziqiniseka ukuthi umfazi wokuqala wayengcono kunenjazana entsha noma njalo.
Ngakho-ke, uma owesifazane engajabuli ngesehlukaniso esenzekile futhi ufuna ukubuyisela ubuhlobo emuva kokujwayelekile, udinga, okokuqala, uzame ukuzithulisa. Okwesibili, umuntu kumele abe nokubekezela. Kodwa ukugijima emva komyeni wangaphambili akufanele, kanye nokuziphindisela ngokuzethemba: "Uzobuya futhi kimi!"
Izidalwa zabantu ziyaziqhenya kakhulu, ngakho-ke kunzima kakhulu ukuba babuyele ekhaya benenhloko enecala, ngisho noma kukhona isifiso esikhulu. Ukuziphatha ngokuhlelekile ukubuyisela ukubuyela kwabo, zama ukulahlekelwa ngisho nobuhlobo obuseduze ngemuva kokuhlukanisa. Uma umuntu "evuthisa" ukuze aqale umndeni ekuqaleni, ngeke kudingeke afune isenzakalo esikhethekile esizayo. Uvele ubheke ngendlela enobungane yekomishi yetiye nokuhlala.
ABANTU BAMAKHAYA
Uma uhloselwe ukuhlangabezana nomuntu ohlukanisile endleleni, khumbula imithetho ethile elula, ukugcinwa kwayo kuyokusiza ukuba wakhe naye ubuhlobo obuqinile futhi obuqinile.
♦ Ngisho noma uthando lwakho luqala ngendlela engcono kakhulu, uhlangana njalo (izikhathi ezingu-2-3 ngesonto) futhi uhlala ndawonye, ungafaki ukuhlala ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa, uma umuntu engakugwema ngalokhu. Qonda ukuthi wahlukanisa nomkakhe wangaphambili, hhayi ukuze enze ngokushesha ikhaya lomkhaya omusha.
♦ Ukuthi umshayeli wakho uhlale emshadweni ojabulisayo iminyaka eminingana akusho ukuthi uzimisele ukuziphatha njengekhanda elihle lomndeni. Kungenzeka ukuthi umngane wakho ubhekisela kumaphesenti angama-20 emadodeni angakwazi ukuchitha yodwa ngemva kokuqedwa kombuthano wokuqala womndeni iminyaka engaba ngu-20 (uma kungenjalo ekupheleni kokuphila kwabo). Ngakho-ke ungagcini othintana nabo kumkhwenyana oyedwa.
♦ Uma umyeni wakho ehlukanisile maduzane (engaphansi kweminyaka eyodwa nesigamu edlule), kungenzeka ukuthi uzoba nabanye abesifazane ngaphandle kwakho. Ukuphikisana nalokhu akusizi ngalutho. Vele uthathe lesi simo futhi ube nesineke.
♦ Ukuzivocavoca kubonisa ukuthi abesifazane abahlangana nabesilisa abahlukanisile bavame ukuthatha indawo eyodwa yezikhundla ezimbili: bazungeza umlingani wabo ngokunakekelwa ngokweqile, noma baxoxisane nokuvimbela okukhulu, benethemba lokubonisa izimfanelo zabo ezinhle emva kokushada naye. Zombili lezi zindlela azihambisani. Uma kunokwenzeka, zama ukuthuthukisa umugqa wokuziphatha lapho ukukhathazeka nokukhululeka endaweni eseduze kuyohlanganiswa nokuvimbela. Lena yithuba elingokoqobo lokunqoba inhliziyo yekhethiweyo wakho.