Indlela yokuhlukanisa nendoda: 5 izindlela ezimbi neziyisihlanu zokuqeda ubuhlobo

Konke kuqale nokuphela kwayo. Lokhu, ngeshwa, kubuye kuphazamise imiqondo enjalo ethandekayo enhliziyweni, njengothando, umndeni, umshado. Abathandi basendulo abakulungele ukwamukela lesi simo futhi baqaphele ukusola. Ngakho-ke i-psyche yomuntu ihlelwe, ukuthi umthwalo wemithwalo yemfanelo kufanele ushintshwe, uhlukaniswe noma ulahlwe ngokuphika. Ngakho-ke ukuhlukana okubuhlungu, nenzondo, nobutha obusabekayo phakathi kwabantu abathandekayo.

Ukuhleleka kungakwazi futhi kufanele kube lula, izazi zengqondo ziqinisekile. Ukuze uqedele ubuhlobo obufanele futhi uhlale ubungani noma okungenani abantu abathokoza omunye nomunye noma impilo enkulu, kufanele uphenye izimbangela zegebe futhi uthole izindlela ezingenabuhlungu zokuhlukanisa. UProfesa we-Psychology wase-US uSusan Whitbourne ukhombisa ukucabangela ukuhlukaniswa kobudlelwane ngokuqhathanisa izindlela ezimbi nezokuhle zokuhlukanisa. Uma iziphetho zenziwa ngendlela efanele, khona-ke endaweni yothando olushiyile kuzofika okungenani ukuhlonipha kanye nokubonga.

Izizathu Ezincane Eziyinhloko Zokubambisana

Umeluleki womndeni uJasmine Diaz, encike ekuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe okucebile ekusebenzelaneni nehlukaniso, ubiza izizathu eziyisihlanu eziyinhloko zokuhlukanisa:

1. Ukwesaba umthwalo wemfanelo. Ubudlelwano abuyena nje uthando, kodwa futhi nomthwalo wemfanelo. Uma labo abalingani begwema umthwalo wemfanelo ngezinkinga ezivela, thola izingxabano futhi ugweme ukusesha isisombululo esakhayo, inyunyana izokwenziwa ngokushesha noma kamuva.
2. Ukwesaba ukuxabana. Ubudlelwane ngaphandle "kokuxoxisana" abakwazi ukuthuthukisa. Lena yindlela eqondile yokubhujiswa kwabo. Ukuthola ubuhlobo - akusho ukusola nokugxeka, kodwa kusho - ukukhuluma nokuqaphela, ngomuntu omdala ukufuna iqiniso.
3. Ukuntula ukunakekelwa nokunakekelwa. Kunoma yikuphi ubudlelwane, umuzwa wokuzwakalisa kanye nokwaziswa kuthatha indawo yomuzwa wenduduzo, ngisho nokujwayelekile. Abantu bayeke ukunikelwa ngokucophelela nokunakekelwa okuqotho. Kunzima ukugcina ubuhlobo lapho kungekho ndawo yokuthuthukiswa kothando.
4. Ukungabi nokusondela. Lokhu akugcini nje ngobulili, kodwa futhi ngokuphathelene nezinzwa, ukusondelana kwemiphefumulo, ukuqonda nokuthembeka. Abantu abazisa lezi zindinganiso futhi abavumeli ukusondelana ukuhlehlisa phansi kuya kumzimba wokuqala bahlelwe injabulo.

Izindlela Ezinhlanu Ezimbi Zokuqeda Ubudlelwano

1. Ngizilahla ngento yonke. Ukuzizwa ngecala kungumzwelo obhubhisa kakhulu. Ngokuqinisekile ngeke kusize ukuhlukanisa kahle. Ukuzibamba ngokuzenzekelayo kwangaphakathi kanye nomthwalo wokuthukuthela ngokwakho kuzonikeza izinkinga ezintsha. Isikhundla sesisulu sizoheha isijeziso.
2. Phikisana nomlingani wakho. Ukusesha umuntu onecala akuyona indlela yokuphuma. Ukudlula iwayini, njengobhola webhola phakathi kwabadlali, kukuvikela futhi ulalele ekuphenduleni. Futhi yilona isisekelo esibi kakhulu sokuhlukanisa ukuthula.
3. Shiya ngesiNgisi. Ukushabalalisa ebuhlotsheni ngaphandle kokuchazwa kungukungathembeki nokungahloniphi. Wonke umuntu unelungelo lokuqiniseka futhi kufanelekile ngenhlonipho. Futhi uma kubonakala sengathi lokhu akusilo, khona-ke udinga ukuhlonipha okungenani ngokuzihlonipha wena.
4. Ukuhlola impilo yomuntu owayengumlingani wangaphambili. Ukushushiswa, ukuvakashelwa okuyimfihlo kumanethiwekhi omphakathi, izingcingo noma ama-sms esimweni sokudakwa ngeke kukuvumele ukuba uqede ubuhlobo. Ukubuyela ebuhlungu esikhathini esedlule kufana ne-masochism.
5. Bamba ekuhlukaneni kwezihlobo nabangane. Ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwalaba ababili akukho ndawo abaphikisana nabo. Vala abantu bangasiza ngokungaphazamisi kuphela. Sebenzisa izingane ukuze kuvezwe, uhlele ngokumelene nomunye umzali - ukwamukela okungavunyelwe. Ubenza abazali bakhe babe izitha futhi baphule psyche yengane.

Izenzo ezinhlanu zokuhlukana nesithunzi

1. Ukulungiselela ukuziphatha. Ekuqhekekeni kobudlelwane obunzima okungazelelwe kungamukeleki. Akunakwenzeka ukuhlukanisa uxhumano, okwakudlula isikhathi esithile, ngaphandle kobuhlungu. Kuyadingeka ukuthi ujwayele ukushintshwa futhi ulungise kancane kancane.
2. Umthwalo wemfanelo jikelele. Kunoma yikuphi ukuphumula, bobabili abalingani kufanele basolwe ngokulinganayo. Ukuhlukanisa kuyadingeka ukuchazela othandekayo lokho okungakhululekile ngakho futhi ungakhohlwa ukuzwakala amaphutha akho kungenzeka.
3. Ilungiselelo elithuthukile. Isinqumo sokuyingxenye asikakwenzi i-fact accompli. Inqubo, njengomthetho, ibambezelekile futhi kungcono ukuseka ngokushesha imithetho yokuxhumana nokuzibophezela komunye nomunye ngemva kokuhlukanisa.
4. Ukunakekelwa okuhloniphekile. Iphuzu elibekwe ebuhlotsheni yilona umnyango oshaywe ngemuva kwesikhashana esidlule. Ungaziphendulela ngaphambi kwabangane bese ukhumbula izinkumbulo zezikhalazo kanye nezimfanelo ezimbi zomuntu owayengumlingani wangaphambili.
5. Ukubonga ngesipiliyoni. Yonke imicimbi, abantu, imihlangano nokuhlukanisa empilweni akuyona ingozi. Noma yiluphi ubudlelwane luyisipiliyoni esiyigugu lapho injabulo yesikhathi esizayo ixhomeke khona. Ukubonga okuqotho kuyoba yindlela engcono kakhulu yokuhamba ngesithunzi.