Uma izinto zokuqala zamantombazane zanamuhla zibhekana nokuphumelela, khona-ke ukufeza ukuqonda okuhlangene okuphelele futhi ukuthola indlela kubantu akukwazi konke, ngisho nangemva kweminyaka eminingana yokuhlala ndawonye.
Ngakho-ke, ukuthi ungayithola kanjani indlela eya kumyeni wakhe, imbeke yena, imenze azivumele ukuba aziholele yena, hhayi ngokuziqhenya ngokuqhosha kwakhe nokuziqhenya kwamadoda.
Ukuphatha amadoda kuyisayensi edinga ukukwenza kanye nolwazi, futhi inezindlela eziningi, ukusetshenziswa okulungile kuyokuvumela ukuthi usebenzise kalula futhi ngokusemandleni ukuba umuntu akwenze okudingekayo kuwe, futhi, ngenkathi edala ukukhohlisa kwesifiso sakhe.
Uma usufunde amasu anjalo, futhi kancane kancane ubafaka empilweni, uzoba yisekelo, uthole indlela kumyeni wakho, futhi uthole ukuthembela okukhethekile komuntu othandekayo wakho, futhi ngaleyo ndlela uthole okubaluleke kakhulu ekuphathweni komlingani wakho.
I-Consent.
Ukuqala ukudambisa umuntu okudingekile kusukela ekuqaleni kwakho, okungaphezulu noma ngaphansi, ubudlelwane obunzima. Isinyathelo sokuqala emhlanganweni kufanele sibe yi-poddakivanie evamile. Vumelana nakho konke akudingekile, ukuveza umbono wakho ngesibindi, uma ungavumelani nento ethile, kodwa qiniseka ukusekela imicabango kanye nokusebenza kwamadoda. Isibonelo, mqinisekise ngokuqondile lapho ekhuluma ngxabano emsebenzini, noma ejabule, uma ekhuluma ngentshiseko ngomcimbi ozayo, owamphathiswa ukuba amhole. Isenzo esinjalo engxenyeni yakho sizocatshangelwa hhayi nje ukuhlonipha okujwayelekile, kodwa futhi njengokubonakaliswa kokwethenjwa, ukukholwa kumuntu kanye nokukwazi kwakhe nokuhlukaniswa okuqotho kwezintshisekelo zakhe kanye nokukhathazeka. Ngakho-ke, enkampanini yakho, umyeni wakho uyozizwa ekhululekile kakhulu, futhi maduzane uzoba ngowokuqala ufunde mayelana nakho konke okwenzekayo empilweni yakhe, nomuntu obheka umbono wakhe obaluleke kakhulu kuye.
Futhi, lapho ukhuluma nomyeni wakho, ungakhohlwa ithoni yezwi, indlela yokubiza amagama, izibonakaliso nezenzo zobuso. Ulimi lomzimba lomuntu lubonakala yi-interlocutor ezingeni eliphansi futhi alinethonya elincane ekwakheni ubudlelwane obuseduze. Ngakho-ke, uma uthi "yebo, yebo indlela ezithakazelisayo" ngezwi, futhi konke ukubukeka kwakho kubonisa okuphambene - akukho impumelelo engaya noma yini.
Ikhophi encane.
Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuthola indawo yakho ukukopisha ukuziphatha kwe-interlocutor. Ngenxa yalokhu, ngenkathi ingxoxo, kubalulekile ukuba umxhumanisi aphindaphindiwe. Lapho ukhuluma nomyeni wakhe, ungasebenzisa ukusebenzelana okuvamile kwabantu abesilisa. Le ndlela kumyeni wayo, izonikeza ithuba lokumthelela phambili ngegama. Uma ukhuluma, uthinte, u-pat ehlombe, noma uma kunesidingo, sebenzisa i-pat. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usondelene kangakanani nomyeni wakho, ungamnaki isandla sakhe. Ngaphambi kokuba umangaze, noma uma uhlangana naye, qiniseka ukuthi uyambamba ngesandla. Lokhu kuthinta kuyisibonakaliso hhayi nje kuphela ngothando lwakho, kodwa ngenhlonipho, ngokuzama ukusondelana nokudala uhlobo lobuqili.
Ukusebenza kwale ndlela sekuyisikhathi eside kufakazelwa izazi zengqondo, futhi izinyathelo ezifanayo zisetshenziselwa ubuhlobo bomuntu siqu kuphela kodwa kumibuthano yebhizinisi, indawo yabalingani nabatshalizimali.
Amasu wabesifazane.
Izinkomba zesifazane, enye indlela eqinisekile, indlela umuntu angathola ngayo indlela kumyeni wakhe. Uma ungeyena unyaka wokuqala ndawonye, kusho ukuthi kakade kufanele ufunde, futhi wazi ukuthi yikuphi "i-lever" yokudonsa ngesikhathi esifanele, futhi ukwazi ukulinda ngalesi sikhathi. Abesifazane bayakwazi kakhulu izinto ezinjalo. Kunezinyathelo eziningi zamakhosikazi, lapho amadoda agcinwa khona unyaka nonyaka, futhi angeke akwazi ukuhlakulela ingculaza nganoma iyiphi indlela. Indlela ejwayelekile kakhulu futhi engenenkathazo yokwenza izinto yizinyembezi zesifazane. Kodwa, ngokusho kwamadoda, le ndlela inonya, futhi ngokuphathelene nabo. Lapho ekhala, umkakhe othandekayo ulungele ukuthola i-asterisk esibhakabhakeni, uma kuphela izinyembezi zayeka ukugeleza. Abesifazane abaningi bayazi lokhu futhi basebenzise, namadoda ayazi ukuthi abesifazane bayakujabulela ubuthakathaka babo, kodwa namanje bayabathanda. Kuphela lokhu akusiyo indawo yokukhala kuyo yonke into, ngakho-ke lobu buqili kufanele bugcinwe icala elibi kakhulu.
Wonke umuntu uyakuthanda.
Ukwelashwa okunothando njengabantu bonke, futhi amadoda ahlukile. Kodwa, ukubonakaliswa kothando okuyingxenye yakho akufanele kufika kuphela lapho udinga okuthile kumyeni wakho, kodwa ube ngumkhuba wokuphila. Kulokhu, indoda, ngemuva kwesicelo esithandekayo, ngeke imelane nayo ngaphambi kokubulawa kwayo. Ungakhohlwa ukudumisa umuntu wakho ngendlela efanayo. Izazi zengqondo zithi indoda eyazibhekayo iyadingeka, ebalulekile futhi eyingqayizivele, izoba ngaphezulu, futhi izozifeza ngokuziqhenya indima yabo bobabili ubaba nomyeni. Ungaqapheli ukuthatha leli thuba kuye.
Mane nje anakekele, futhi abonise ukukhathazeka kwakho. Ukwenyuka komzimba kuye kwenza owesifazane ozimele ngokwengeziwe, kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi noma kunjalo, ukuthi sasingaqinile kangakanani, ubulili besifazane bubuthakathaka. Vumela lo muntu akuvikele, akusize, futhi abe "udonga" kuwe. Kulokhu, ungazuza ukuthi awukho isidingo sokukhumbula noma yiziphi izindaba zomkhaya, futhi izifiso zakho ziyoba izenzo zakhe.
Ungamangazi umyeni wakho uma kukhona okwenziwe okungalungile, futhi ngisho nangaphezulu ungavumeli othile akwenze. Amadoda anamandla emzimbeni, kodwa abesifazane abaziphatha kahle bangakwazi ukunikeza izinkinga. Yiqiniso, umuntu akufanele agijimise ukuxoshwa emncintiswaneni omncane, kodwa ake umeluleki ongathandeki azi ukuthi awudingi ukwenza lokhu, ungakwazi.
Ngeseluleko esinikezwe ngenhla, uzokwazi ukuthola ukuthembela okunjalo, futhi ube yingxenye yesibili yomyeni wakho. Ukuhlala ndawonye ukuphila impilo eyodwa, nakho konke okuhlangenwe nakho nakho okujabulisayo. Uma kungenjalo, umshado onjalo ungafaniswa nokuhlangana okuvamile, lapho wonke umuntu eyedwa, futhi ehlukanisa kuphela indawo yokukhosela nokudla. Kuphela, ukusebenzisa i-theory ekusebenzeni, khumbula ukuthi iseluleko sinikezwa ngokujwayelekile, futhi umyeni wakho uqobo. Futhi ukuthola indlela kumyeni wakhe, kumele uthembele emikhondweni yakhe, ekuthandeni, ezintweni, nasezibaluleke kakhulu, ekulaleleni inhliziyo yakho. Futhi-ke uzophumelela.