Indlela yokuziphatha uma intombazane ihlangana ne-ex yakho bese ukhetha imigqa efanele yokuziphatha? Kunzima kakhulu, isimo sinomzwelo kakhulu. Ngempela, ngaphandle kokuthi ulahlekelwe yindodana, uzizwa ubuhlungu obukhulu bokungathengiswa engxenyeni yomngani. Cishe kuzo zonke izimo (ngokungafani okungajwayelekile) ezimweni ezinjalo, ubungane buphela. Futhi kufanelekile kanjalo. Ubani phakathi kwethu ongazizwa enentukuthelo lapho abangane bethu bebuka lezo zingxenye ezihlangene zokuphila kwethu, lapho abangaphandle bengavunyelwe ukungena nokuphenya?
Ngisho nangemva kweminyaka eminingi, sebekhohlwa kakade ngezinto ezinamathiselwe ezidlule futhi behlela kabusha izimpilo zabo ngendlela entsha, abaningi abakwazi ukwamukela uma abangane babo beqala ukuhlangana nabafana besikhathi esidlule. Ngokuvamile siphila ekukhohlisweni ukuthi sisabathandekayo kubangaphambili bethu, singabantu abakhethekile ekuphileni kwabo, sifanele indawo ekhethekile. Futhi umhlaba wobuhlobo bakho naye, ofihlekile ekuhloleni amehlo (noma ngabe usuvele udlulile, kodwa hhayi okungenani okuyigugu) uvula umngane wakho., Okuphi okuhlangene nakho kwakho. Kunengqondo ukucabanga ukuthi isimo esinjalo asikhiphi amathuba okuqhubeka nobuhlobo. Ungahlala nabangani. Noma kunjalo, angeke kube khona inkulumo yokwethemba. Amantombazane amaningi aqala ukuzihlukumeza ngemibuzo enjengale "ingabe uyamtshela ububele obufanayo nami?", "Ingabe uyamthanda ngaphezu kwalokho angithandile?". Ukwesaba okwedlulele ukuthi abantu bangaphambili bangatshela imininingwane engathandeki yalezo zikhathi lapho uhlangene, futhi lokhu kuyaqondakala.
Futhi kwenzeka kangaki ukuthi lapho uxoxisana nomngane wakho lapho ukhulumisana nomngane wakho, wanikeza iseluleko, wayazi konke okwakwenzeka. Enye intombazane yatshela indaba edabukisayo ngokuthi umngane wakhe wamlalela kanjani futhi wamnikeza iseluleko ezimweni ezinzima ekuphileni nomfana, ekhuluma kabi ngaye futhi evezwe njengabazondayo. Kodwa-ke, ngokushesha nje lapho ubuhlobo buphela, intombazane yashintsha kakhulu umbono wakhe ngale nsizwa futhi yona yaba yinduna yangaphambili yentombazane. Intombazane ethintekile ayizange iqale ukuqhuma ama-hysteric esivunguvungu, kodwa, ngokuqinisekile, yahlala engumkhuhlane ongathandeki, futhi ukhuluma ngokungabaza ngobuhlobo besifazane. Ubungane obudala, ukwethemba nokuvuleka okuphelele manje sekube usuku lokugcina, futhi okwenzekile akuyona into engaphezu kokukhohlisa. Vumelana, kulesi simo sakwa-emotsionalnoy kunzima ukuziphatha ngokungacacile, uma umngane ehlangana nomuntu ovele wangaphambili.
Kodwa-ke, akufanelekile ukuhlupheka nokuluma izingxube zakho, isimo sokucindezeleka noma isimo se-hysterical asizanga muntu ukuba aphume ezimweni ezinzima. Kungcono ukuthatha ukwakhiwa kobuhlobo obusha, udwebe umugqa ngaphansi kwezikhalazo ezindala, okunamathiselwe, ukungabaza. Abanye abameleli besifazane bayakwazi ukuzola futhi bazibuthe ndawonye, baqala ukwakha ubudlelwane obusha, bekhohlwa kokubili nangaphambili nangentombi, ngaphandle kokungena emininingwaneni yobuhlobo babo obusha. Futhi lokhu kuyiqiniso. Phela, ubuhlobo bakho busuvele buphelile, usuyingxenye yesikhathi esidlule omunye nomunye, futhi impilo iyaqhubeka. Izinsuku ezedlule kanye nalezi zinkinga ozobe nomunye nomunye, bese uhlala esikhathini esedlule, futhi kakade awushintshi lutho kulokho okwenzekile. Phela, kungenzeka ukuthi intombazane yakho izohlangana ne-ex yakho, futhi inombono omuhle ngempela, futhi ubuhlobo bakho naye buyiphutha.
Ungesabi ukuvuma lokhu futhi uthole amandla okubheka okukufanele ngempela, ngaphandle kokuphazamisa empilweni yomuntu siqu wabantu obaziyo. Ukuze usinde kulezi zinkinga kusho ukubuyela esikhathini esidlule, ukuhlala nomzwelo omdala, ukugcwalisa impilo yakho ngento esele ifile, ungahlanganyeli ekuziphenduleleni futhi ucabange ukuthi yiziphi zonke izincazelo. Thatha ngokwakho futhi uqhubeke phambili, ngoba noma yikuphi, ukuphila akupheli lapho, futhi lokhu kuyisigaba esisha kuphela. Futhi mhlawumbe okwenzeka kuwe, kungcono kuphela.
Ukuqeda izinamathiselo ezindala, ukhulula indawo yokuphila okusha, futhi kusukela manje uzoqonda ukuthi noma yini kungenzeka. Ukuzama ukuziphindiselela noma ngandlela-thile kubhidliza ubudlelwane bomuntu - kuchitha nje isikhathi sakho kuphelelwe yimpilo yabanye. Lokhu kuziphatha kungaba indaba enhle yamafilimu, kodwa empeleni kungubuwula obufuywayo kanye nomqondo omncane kuphela.
Manje uyazi ukuthi uziphathe kanjani uma intombazane ihlangana ne-ex yakho. Isibonelo esihle umlando, uma umngane wesifazane, engatholakali kuphela amandla okusinda lesi sigameko ngesithunzi, kodwa futhi ngaphandle kokukhwabanisa nenzondo, ehlelwe ukuhlela impilo yakhe. Ngathola ukuthi ngiyindoda efanelekile, ngaqala ukwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile naye, futhi ngizijabule futhi ngingakhathazeki ngalokho okwenzeka esikhathini esidlule, ngangihlala ebuhlotsheni obusondelene nentombi yakhe kanye nongaphambili. Yiqiniso, ubungane nobuhlobo bokuqala abusekho, njengoba kungekho futhi ukukhathazeka okungenangqondo nokuzondwa. Funda ukuqonda izifundo zesikhathi esizayo futhi ungaphumeleli, ngesithunzi esidlulisela kubo, ngisho noma umngane ehlangana nomuntu owayengakukhathaleli ngaphambilini, bese konke kuzophumelela.