Ngeshwa, ukwethemba akusebenzi kulezo zimfanelo ezitholakalayo kanye kanye nokuphila. Kuvame ukuguqulwa, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukuthi usebenze njalo ukuqala ukuxhumana nokuthembela phakathi kwabashade. Yenza iphutha, khubekani futhi uziphoqe ukuba ungakholelwa ukuthi kulula kakhulu kunokuba ukhethe ukuzethemba emndenini futhi. Ngakho-ke, umuntu akufanele aphathe lesi sici sobuhlobo ngokungahloniphi, ngoba uthando lufana nendlu yokufanisa, futhi ukwethembela kulo mdlalo ophansi kunazo zonke, sisusa umdlalo we- "trust" - indlu "yothando" iyawa.
Ukuqala kanjani ukusetha ubuhlobo bokuthembela, ngenkathi ungenzi amaphutha, ukuze ungabhubhisi? Siphendule kulo mbuzo.
Izizathu zokungazethembi.
Ngokuvamile, ukungazethembi komuntu kuvela kusukela ekuqaleni komshado. Khumbula ukuthi umbhangqwana wakho uqale kanjani? Ukholelwe kuwo wonke amazwi othandekayo wakho kusukela ngosuku lokuqala? Kunoma yikuphi, okungenani ukwehla kokungaqiniseki noma ukungabaza ekuqaleni. Akukaze kwanyamalala kuze kube manje, manje nje, lapho usufundele kakade, unezizathu eziningi zokukholelwa nokuthembela kunokuba ukholwe. Uma ngesizathu esithile umlingani wakho akunike isizathu sokungabaza - ukuzethemba kokuwa. Ngokushesha ihlazo lizokhula elwandle, ngenxa yalesi sizathu esobala noma cha. Zonke izinsolo zizoba imicabango yethu, ukucabangela, ukuqagela, nakho konke okuziwa "kodwa ngokuzumayo." Uma ngaphambili, lapho umyeni ephuzile emsebenzini, sazibona ngokuzithoba futhi singazitholi, ngokwesibonelo, emva kokubona ukuthi ngandlela-thile wayebukeka kahle ngowesifazane omuhle, ikakhulukazi uma esebenza naye-konke, "kodwa ngokuzumayo "Iyaqala ukusebenza. Futhi sinezinhlobo eziningi zokhetho, lapho umyeni othandekayo "ngokuzumayo" enza noma yini, kodwa angasebenzi. Ngakho-ke ingxabano evelayo.
Umhawu ungenye isizathu sokungathembi. Umhawu nokuthandwa ngokuvamile kubhekwa njengento engavamile, kodwa abambalwa ngeke bavumelane ngokuthi umhawu ofanayo odumile njengento engabhubhisa umuzwa onjalo oqhakazile. Umhawu, kunalokho, uzobe ungahlukaniswa nomqondo wobunikazi nokungathembeki komlingani wakho.
Futhi, ngezizathu zokungazethembi ezivela ezingqondweni zethu, kukhona ukuhlukumezeka. Ngisho ngisho nhlobo engavunyelwe noma engasetshenzisiwe nhlobo, ingakhula ibe yihlazo nokuwa kobuhlobo.
Kusobala ukuthi, kusukela ekuhlukunyezwa, abashadile bahlushwa kakhulu, abakholelwa ukuthi bahlala ngokuthula nokuvumelana. Izazi zengqondo ngokuvamile ziqaphela imibhangqwana enjalo engenakho ukuxhumana okusebenzayo. Ngokuvamile emindenini enjalo akuvunyelwe ukukhononda ngezinkinga, ukugxeka izenzo zomunye nomunye, ukwenza isinqumo ngokuzimela noma ukuyinselele. Ama-pair aphikisanayo, axhumane okuningi kakhulu komunye nomunye, ngenkathi ethola ulwazi oluphakeme. Phela, ukuxabana kuyindlela yokuxhumana. Kulula nje, lokhu kukhulumisana kunomzwelo futhi kuphuthumisa abaqashi, okungabangela ngisho nokuhlukanisa.
Iqiniso lokuthi ukungathembeki kungaholela ekuxabaneni, kepha ngesikhathi sokuxabana kunamathuba amaningi okuthola iqiniso kunokuba uqoqe amagama futhi ufihle imizwelo.
Kuthiwani uma i-trust ithiyanyiswa?
Ukuthembela emndenini kuyinkimbinkimbi, futhi kudinga isimo sengqondo sokukhathazeka. Kodwa kuthiwani uma ungakapheli? Okukhethwa kukho kokubili: wehlisa izandla zakho uphile ngendlela efana ngayo, ubheke ukuxoxisana komunye nomunye, ukwakha eziningi zokuqagela nezinsolo ekhanda lakho, noma uqale kusukela ekuqaleni.
Kunzima ukubuyisela ubuhlobo obuthembayo, ngoba manje unezinkuni zezinkumbulo, okuvame ukuba yisithiyo ekuvumelaneni.
Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuqala ngokuqeda izinkumbulo. Phonsa konke okubi okwakusempilweni yakho, ugcwalise ngemizwa ekhanyayo nenjabulo, kanye nethemba kanye nezinhlelo zekusasa elikhanyayo. Esikhathini sokubuyiselwa kokwethenjwa emndenini, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele kakhulu, futhi kungabangela ukuxabana okukhulu. Ngeke ukwazi ukugwema izimo ezingqubuzanayo, ngenxa yokuthi ingqondo yethu yokungazethembi nokusola kuyobangela isimo esicindezelayo, okuzokwenza kube khona ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa. Futhi izinzwa kufanele zithole indlela yokuphuma. Yebo, uma uthola isifundo esihlangene esizoletha injabulo kubo bobabili, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo niphumule. Kungenziwa ukwenza imidlalo, ukudansa, uhlobo oluthile lobuciko, umculo. Into eyinhloko owawuhlangene ngayo, futhi phakathi nesifundo owasebenzisana nayo.
Vele ube nesithakazelo ebhizinisini, isimo sempilo, okuhlangenwe nakho komlingani wakho, ungamshiyi yedwa ngezinkinga. Yabelana ngemicabango yakho, imizwa, imibono, cela iseluleko. Ngokuvamile lapho umuntu ecela umuntu iseluleko, uyakwenza nomuntu onokwethenjelwa ombono wakhe ogunyaziwe ngaye. Uma uxoxisana nomlingani wakho, ngisho nasezinkingeni zansuku zonke, uzomkhuthaza ngomuzwa wokubaluleka kuwe, nokuthembela kwakho kuye.
Okunye, khuluma, cishe nganoma yini, ukuze ukwazi ukuvula okuningi ngokwengeziwe komunye nomunye. Joke, qamba, kodwa ukuze amagama noma izenzo zakho zingamcasuli umlingani wakho. Lapho ukuxhumana njalo kuvamelana. Uma udinga ukunqoba ukuthembela komuntu, ungaphinda ukopishe izenzo zakhe ezingabonakali, futhi uthinte ngephutha ngakwesokunxele komzimba. Ungafaki ucwecwe obonakalayo othulini olusuka ehlombe lakhe lesokunxele, shayela izwi elimnene ngendlebe yesokunxele, uphendule esitini lesobunxele. Lokhu akulona imilingo, futhi hhayi ukubandlulula, uhlangothi lwesokunxele samadoda luyakwazi ukuthinta. Masibe yimfihlo yakho encane.
Uma umbuzo wendlela yokwakha ukwethenjwa emndenini usengumongameli wakho, naphezu kwakho konke okusemandleni akho nezenzo zakho, sekuyisikhathi sesazi sengqondo. I-psychologist onolwazi uzokusiza ukuxazulula lobunzima obuncane kuze kube yilapho sekube yinkinga enkulu. Into eyinhloko ukuthi isifiso sabalingani bokuhlala sihlale ndawonye, futhi ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga kwakuhlangene. Yilapho kuphela umphumela omuhle okhona.