Akekho umuntu owaziyo impendulo yangempela yombuzo mayelana nemfundo yengane ekhethekile. Iqiniso liwukuthi ngeke kube khona "impendulo" efanele. Umzali ngamunye uzizwa ekhaya ukuthi angenzani ngalokhu noma leso simo. Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda kahle isimo somntwana wakho, ukulandelela izimpawu, ukubona ukuthuthukiswa esimweni. Lokhu kudinga olunye ulwazi. Ukuxhumana neminye imindeni ezitholayo esimweni esifanayo, futhi, ngeke ibe yinto engafaneleki. Phela, kulula ukufunda ukuthi yini okudingeka iqondwe, isinqumo esingenasidingo. Kodwa, okwamanje, into esemqoka ukufunda ukuqonda nokuthanda ingane. Lokhu kungakwazi futhi kufanele kufundwe yonke impilo yami. Lesi sihloko sibonisa ukufakwa kwedayari kwabafundisi nabazali, ukudalulwa kwabafundi kanye nokucabanga kwabachwepheshe, kuhlanganise nalabo isayensi engakakwazi ukunikeza izimpendulo. Masikhulume ngesihloko esinzima - ingane ekhethekile: ukukhuliswa kwezingane ezinokukhubazeka kwentuthuko.
Okungenakwenzeka ukuthi ingane idinga ukusizwa kakhulu kakhulu. Manje sekuyaziwa ukuthi ukunakekelwa kwengane kuqala ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwakhe. Kubalulekile futhi okunempilo komama, nemizwa yakhe emihle, nomqondo wokuphepha nokuzethemba esikhathini esizayo. Lapho ushada, wonke umuntu uphupha ngothando. Kodwa umshado uyisibopho esikhulu emphakathini nakwezinye. Emshadweni, kuzalwa impilo yesithathu, okuyincike ekuqondeni kwabazali umthwalo wemfanelo kanye nekhono lokwakha kahle ukuziphatha kwabo.
... Ingane yazalwa. Wabonisa ukuphambuka. Yiqiniso, sidinga ukubonisana okufanelekayo nodokotela, uthisha, umhlangano nabazali abanomntwana ofanayo. Kubalulekile ukuthi ungalahleki futhi ungafaki isilinganiso sonke somthwalo wempilo yengane kwabanye. Usizo lwabazali lukhulu kakhulu, ngoba bayayibona ingane, bachitha isikhathi esiningi naye. Lokhu kukuvumela ukuba wazi futhi uqaphele ukuthi ochwepheshe abaphumelele kakhulu abanakho.
Kusukela kulokho okushiwo, iseluleko sokuqala silandela: qaphela ingane, uhlaziye futhi uqaphele lokho akuthandayo, futhi yiziphi izimbangela zokukhala, ukuphikisana, ukulahlwa. Yiba nengane yonke: yizwa futhi uyiqonde. Ngezinye izikhathi abazali bangatshela udokotela nomfundisi okuningi kunalokho abatshela abazali babo. Kumelwe sikholwe ngokwethu, siqaphele umsebenzi wethu futhi siwulandele ngokungcwele. Ngezinye izikhathi umama uyazi kangcono udokotela, kusho u-Y. Korchak encwadini ethi "Indlela Yokuthanda Ingane." Umama akazange alethe ingane eneminyaka emibili enesikhalazo ukuthi wayekhala, evame ukuvuka ebusuku. Udokotela wahlola ingane kabili, kodwa akazange athole lutho oluvela kuye. Ucabanga ukuthi izifo ezihlukahlukene: isisu somzimba, i-stomatitis. Futhi unina uthi: "Ingane inomunye emlonyeni wakhe." Udokotela wahlola ingane okwesithathu futhi empeleni wathola inhlanzi enamathele emthonjeni. Yagijima emgodini we-canary futhi yabangela ubuhlungu usana lapho ephuza esifubeni sakhe. Leli cala liqinisekisa ukuthi umama angakwazi okwengeziwe ngomntanakhe kunengcweti uma efuna futhi engalalela ingane. Kodwa lesi sahlulelo asinakuphikwa, njengoba yonke isitatimende esilandelayo singenakuphikiswa.
Umthetho wesibili ubonakala ulula futhi unzima ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ingane kufanele ifakwe ekusebenzisaneni, isb. uthole impendulo evela kuye.
Ukubilisa okungeyona yendabuko kuyasiza, ukusebenzisa amadivaysi okududuza ngaphansi kokuqondiswa kochwepheshe, ukushintsha isimo sezandla, imilenze, i-trunk, i-stroking, ukuxubha, ukuxubha izingxenye zomzimba ngamunye. Abazali ezenzweni zabo bayaguquguquka, bephikelela. "Bahola" ingane, baphinda izenzo ngabanye ngokuphindaphindiwe, ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa ithemba lokuthi bazophinde babone izinguquko ezincane.
Umbuzo uvela mayelana nokuthi ungabandakanya kanjani ekusebenzisaneni ingane engenandaba, naphezu kwezinyathelo ezithathwe. Ungaphinda, ukopishe izenzo zezingane ukuze azibone. Abanye bakuthola kulula ukubona ukuthi awunayo, ungayitholi, noma ngokuphambene nalokho, qaphela ukuthi uphumelela kuphi. Umntwana wathola umbono wezinto okwakwenzeka - lokhu kunqoba. Wabona izindawo ezizungezile, nakuba engakaqapheli ngaphambili. Izibonelo ezibalulekile zezenzo ezifanele, izenzo ezihlanganyelwe, ukuqeqeshwa umzimba, kancane kancane kube nzima, kuhlotshiswe ngamasu ahlukahlukene. Kwezinye izimo, izenzo ezisebenzayo zabantu abadala (abazali) lapho ingane ingenandaba, kudingeka okuthiwa ukuvuselela. Ithonya le-stimulants le-polar lisetshenziswe: kubanda nokufudumala, okusawoti futhi okumnandi, okukhuni nokunethezeka, njll, ukuvusa izitho zomqondo (izinhlelo zokuzwa kwengane).
Ubuhlobo obungavumelani nengane buphazamisa, buphazamisa inkambo yokuphendula okujwayelekile, kukhubaza umphefumulo. Ngakho kulandela iseluleko esilandelayo sosuku zonke: ube nomntwana ozolile, obekezele, ehlala kunoma yisiphi isimo. Uma kukhona okungamsebenzi kuye, bheka imbangela yakho ngokuyinhloko: ingabe kukhona ukuphulwa kwesigaba sakho, ukungaqondani, ukungafani kwamathonya omzali nokubonakaliswa. Ngisho nomuntu omdala unenkinga lapho izinto ezimnandi ezithembele zihlangabezana nobuhlungu obuyiqiniso. Kodwa kuyingozi kakhulu kumntwana. Ukuphila kungenandaba futhi akukho ukuphikisana, ngakho kunzima ukuzola nokulinganisela. Noma kunjalo, lokhu kudinga umsebenzi wabazali.
Abazali bahlale bephikelela ekufuneni ukwazi ukuthi ingane yabo izokhula kanjani. Impendulo eqinisiwe yukuthi konke kungashintsha futhi kushintshe kube ngcono. Isistimu yezinzwa yengane iyipulasitiki, i-supple. Asazi wonke amathuba omzimba womuntu. Ngethemba, bheka izindlela zokusiza futhi ulinde. Kuyaziwa akuyona into eyodwa, lapho iqiniso liguqulwa iziphetho ezigunyaziwe kakhulu zongcweti ezithatha "usuku lwanamuhla lomntwana." Ikusasa lakhe lixhomeke kuhlelo olufanele lokusebenza kwengqondo nokufundisa kanye nemisebenzi yomzali ekusetshenzisweni kwayo. Isikhundla "Ithemba futhi ulinde, ungenzi lutho" akulungile. Udinga isikhundla "Zama, wenze, ithemba futhi ulinde, uziqinisekise kuqala: uma kungenjalo wena, ngubani?" Ingane enezinkinga zokucindezeleka kwengqondo "hhayi nje kuphela" izifo ezithinta izifo, kodwa nezinkinga zempilo. "
Kukhona omunye umbuzo obuthakathaka kakhulu: ukushiya ingane emndenini noma ukuyiyisa esikhungweni sokunakekela izingane sohlobo olufanele? Imindeni ihlukile, futhi ochwepheshe basebenza nezingane, futhi. Kusetshenziswe kubazali, ngifuna ukusho: "Musa ukwahlulela, kodwa ngeke nihlulelwe." Kodwa lapha mayelana nengane kungenzeka ukuthi utshele ngokungaqondile: kufanele ikhuliswe emndenini. Umndeni usiza, uqinisa, ugcine amandla ngisho nasezinkathini lapho ukwephulwa kubonakala kungenakulungiswa (hhayi ngaphansi kokulungiswa). Ngisho esikoleni esihle kakhulu sokubhukuda ingane igula. Udinga i-caress, ukwesekwa, umuzwa wesidingo sakhe, usizo, ukuphepha, ekuqapheliseni ukuthi othile uyamthanda futhi uyamkhathalela. Yingakho imibono yokufunda edidiyelwe yaba yinto ekhangayo. Ezimweni zokuqeqeshwa okuhlanganyelwe neontanga enempilo, ingane ekhethekile ihlala emndenini futhi ixhumana nezinye izingane. Umndeni unikeza labo lwazi kanye nezindlela zomsebenzi ezingenakuthola ekuqeqesheni amaseshini. Ingane enezinkinga zifana nengane evamile.
Esikhathini sokukhathazeka okujulile ngokomzwelo, lapho abazali bezwa ngokuhlukumeza ingane, lapho ukulindela kwabo okubhekelele kubhekene neqiniso elibi, baqala ukwethembela ekusizeni udokotela. Bacabanga ukuthi kuwufanele ukuhlangana nomchwepheshe omuhle, futhi uzokwazi ukushintsha konke. Kukhona inkolelo emangalisweni, lapho kuvuselelwa, ushintsho lungenzeka ngokushesha, ngaphandle kokubamba iqhaza kwabazali. Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ngokushesha ukuthi kungaba khona iminyaka eminingi ngaphambi kokunqoba ukwephulwa, ukulungisa noma ukunciphisa amandla, okungukuthi, ukulungiswa. Abazali badinga ukubekezela, ubuqili bomoya nomsebenzi omkhulu wansuku zonke, umsebenzi ongavamile. Impumelelo ingaba yinto encane, kodwa intuition yabazali isiza ukubona lokho abanye abangakuboni: ukubukeka kwengane ngokucophelela, ukugubha kancane komunwe, ukumamatheka okungenakuqonda. Ngichaza ezincwadini zami icala elilodwa futhi ngibuyela kuye ngengqondo njalo.
Emhlanganweni wokwamukela udokotela kwafika umama ozinikele, onothando onomfana. Wayesevele ekhonjiswe ukuthi: ukungabi namandla, njll. uhlobo olunzima lokuphuza kwengqondo. Ema-70s ekhulu leminyaka elidlule, ukutholakala kwezifo kubhalwe phansi ngokuqondile, abazali abazange basindiswe. Umfana wayengakhulumi futhi engaxhumani naye. Kodwa ekwamukelwa udokotela waphawula amehlo akhe. Wabheka isihloko esibuzwayo. Kwacaca ukuthi ubona inkukhu, uphawu, ipilisi. Ngokushesha udokotela wenqatshelwe ukuxilongwa futhi watshela ingane yengqondo ngengqondo ngalokhu, owathi: "Uyazi kangcono ukukhathazeka kwengqondo yengane, uhlola kahle, ngingase ngiphutha." Iminyaka eminingi yomsebenzi yaqala. Manje sekuphelile iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-40, futhi umfana esebe umuntu ohlonishwayo, esebenza futhi ezuza impilo ehloniphekile, umuntu angasho ngokufanele ukuthi uyakhokhisa konke kunina. Wayeyifundisa nsuku zonke, ngehora, elandela iseluleko sochwepheshe, kodwa wazakhela okuningi. Babuthana futhi baletha izifundo zeziqabunga zezihlahla, okusanhlamvu okusanhlamvu okuhlukahlukene, okusanhlamvu kanye nesobho. Ingane yabona, yazama, yababamba. Akazange amdinge ukuthi akhulume ngaso leso sikhathi futhi ngaso leso sikhathi. Into eyinhloko ukuthi ingane yaba nesithakazelo, yaqonda, yajabula, yazizwa ibuhlungu, yazizwa. Usizo ludinga yonke iminyaka yokufunda esikoleni esiphakeme. Ukukhulumisana nomama kwaba namandla, okungaxhunyiwe. Futhi manje ungakwazi ukubuka ubudlelwane babo obathandayo, ukubonakaliswa kothando lomama no-filial, uthando oluthinta inhliziyo. Ukuthi wayengumuntu ohlakaniphile, ohloniphekile, osebenza kanzima, onakekelayo futhi ohloniphekile - ngokungangabazeki. Futhi iqiniso lokuthi uyayikhokhisa lokhu kunina futhi liyiqiniso elingenakuphikwa.
Iphutha elivamile ukuphelelwa ithemba, ukulahlekelwa yedwa emndenini. Ngokuvamile owesifazane uhlupheka. Indoda ivame ukuma ishiya umndeni. Ingane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingakanani ubudala, inemicabango, imicabango, izifiso zomama. Izwe liyeka ukuhlala phakathi kokuhlukahluka kokubonakaliswa kwalo. Umama ukhubazekile njengomuntu. Ngicabanga ukuthi akufanele uzilahlekele njengomuntu ngamunye, njengoba umuntu ebaluleke kakhulu, kodwa ngaphandle kosizo kunzima. Cishe, lapha usizo lomndeni onenkinga efanayo luzosebenza. Abazali banjalo imindeni babumbene nentshisekelo yomphakathi, ukuqonda okuhlangene, ukuhlolisana kwemiphefumulo, evela ekubeni khona kwengane ekhethekile, engeyona eqondakalayo. Ngokungangabazeki, labo bazali abakha amakilabhu, izinhlangano, nezinye izinhlangano zomphakathi benza isenzo esihle. Imihlangano, imihlangano ilalelwa yimikhandlu, ikwabelwane nakho, ixoxwa kakhulu, iphinde ithokoze, iphumule, ithokoze, ihalalisele ngezinsuku zokuzalwa, amaholide, ufunde ukuphawula kuwo wonke umuntu ovelele kakhulu. Emndenini kubalulekile ukudala imizwelo yokuzijabulisa, ngakho lezozinto ezincane ezimnandi zikhanyisa impilo enhle.
Ukukhulisa ingane ekhethekile kudinga amandla engqondo, umlingiswa nokubekezela. Ingane esesimweni sokuvumela imvume ingaba yi-despot, umshiqela. Abazali kudingeka bakwazi ukusho ukuthi "akunakwenzeka", ukuphoqa imingcele ezenzweni ezingamukeleki. Kumelwe kube "nesihawu esizwakalayo", ukuqonda ukuthi ukwethulwa kwezinqatshelwe, ukugcinwa, ukuxhumana okubuhlungu (okuyiqiniso, akusiyo ngokujeziswa ngokomzimba) ukwakha ukuziphatha okulungile kwengane, nokuqonda.
Abazali kudingeka bafunde. Phela, "othisha" abanamandla kakhulu abazali. Bayaqaphela ukuthi ingane iye yavuselela ulimi lwakhe ngokuzivocavoca ngokweqile, ukuze ikwazi ukufika emlonyeni ophezulu ngolimi lwakhe, bese efika ekhaleni. Bonke abazali bathi babuthanda "defectology", kuyathandeka futhi kulula. Ngezinye izikhathi ochwepheshe babheka ukubaluleka nokuhlukunyezwa ngokwemigomo yezobuchwepheshe: "Ingane yakho inentuthuko yokulahleka, i-hypodynamic, ine-dyslalia (alalia), isichazamazwi esibizwa ngokuthi, sigmatism lateral", njll. Lokhu, kunjalo, akulungile. Udokotela omuhle kakhulu uyohlale echaza lokho okufezwa yilokho noma lokho okuvivinya umzimba, kungani kuphakanyiswa amasu athile omsebenzi. Bazali, nihlola izindlela zokulungisa (ukulungiswa) kwengane, qiniseka ukuthi bathola futhi bafeze umsebenzi odingekayo ekhaya. Ngaphandle kosizo lwabazali, kunzima ukufeza impumelelo.
Okubaluleke kakhulu kubazali mayelana nezingane ezinezici zentuthuko:
Into esemqoka ukufunda ukuqonda nokuthanda ingane. Imfundo yengane iqala ngolunye usuku lokuzalwa nangaphambi kokuzalwa kwakhe. Abazali bayayibona ingane, bahlaziye izenzo zakhe. Bayazi izici nezidingo zomntwana kangcono kunabanye.
Ingane ijoyina ekusebenzisaneni. Wenza izenzo ngokuhlanganyela, ngesibonelo, embukisweni, lapho ehlinzeka usizo olugcwele, oluyingxenye.
Ingane inikezwa imizwelo emihle. Abazali benza amaphutha: bangene ekuphelelwe ithemba, ukungabaza, bazilahleke njengabantu ngabanye. Kubalulekile ukuba nethemba, wenze futhi ulinde.