Izigaba zokuhlangenwe nakho emva kwehlukaniso

Ngemuva kwesahlukaniso, ngokuvamile kuthatha isikhathi eside ukuba usinde, wamukele futhi uqonde konke okwenzekile, ukuyiqaphela kanye nendima yalo kuyo. Ekuqaleni kuyabuhlungu ukuqonda ukuthi yonke into oyithandayo njengendlela yokuthanda, ngenhlanhla, lezo zihlobo lapho wena nomyeni wakho ninganikeza kanye nezwe elihle kunazo zonke elikuwe liphenduke lababi, engafaneleki kokubili wena negama ngokwayo - umndeni. Uma ukuphila komndeni kwahlala isikhathi eside, kwaba nokubaluleka ngokomzwelo, kwengqondo, ngokomoya komuntu, khona-ke igebe elingalindelekile lihlale liwukucindezeleka okwenzeka kuye njengesihlungu. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kunezigaba eziningana. Uma isahlukaniso sakho singumlingisi onjalo, ikakhulukazi okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, ngakho-ke ngokuya ngesigaba lapho ukhona khona manje, izincomo zengqondo yezokwelapha ezihambisana nesimo sakho zizokusiza.

Izikhathi ezizimele zezigaba zinemibandela, ngoba isehlukaniso kanye nobuhlobo obusandulele bungabadideka, bugcwele ithemba futhi baphelelwe ithemba, baphumelelane. Ngakho-ke, ezinye izigaba zingabambezeleka.

Isigaba sokuqala sisabisa
Cishe, usuvele uhlangabezane nalesi sigaba. Ngokuvamile lihlala emaminithi ambalwa kuya ezinyangeni eziningana, kodwa kaningi - ezinsukwini ezingu-10-12. Ngalesi sikhathi akulula ukuyiqonda futhi ukholelwa kulokho okwenzekile. Kuhlobene neqiniso lokuthi ufunde ngokuhlukunyezwa, ukuthi umyeni wakho wanquma ukuhlukanisa. Noma mhlawumbe yaqala lapho uvuma imvume yesehlukaniso, kepha awukwazi ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani. Ngalesi sikhathi, ukuhlala eduze kwakho komuntu osuka kubangane nabantu abaseduze kungasiza. Uma uphumelela ekutsheleni othile ngalokho okwenzekile noma eyedwa, ukuveza imizwa yakho, mhlawumbe ukukhala - ungabona ukuthi uzizwa ungcono nokuthi esinye isigaba sesiqalile.

Isigaba sokuhlupheka
Ngokwesilinganiso, ihlala amasonto angu-8-9. Lesi yisikhathi sokucindezela ngokomzwelo nokuhlangenwe nakho. Umzwelo wokubhujiswa nokungenangqondo kokuphila, ukufutheka, isizungu, ukubhujiswa, ukwesaba, injabulo nokusizwa kubonakala ngokucacile. Owesifazane osele yedwa ngemva kokuhlukanisa, ephule nomthandekayo wakhe, ngokuvamile uhlangabezana nemizwa eminingi ephikisanayo.

Uma manje uhlangabezana nalesi sikhathi esibucayi empilweni yakho, khona-ke uyazi ukuthi imizwa ehlukahlukene ibonakala ifinyeleleke emthini owodwa ohambayo. Mhlawumbe lokhu kungumqondo wecala kulokho okwenzekile, ngoba awuzange ugcine umyeni wakho, awuzange ugcine umndeni wakho, mhlawumbe ukhumbule ukuthukwa okubangele intukuthelo. Lokhu kanye nobuhlungu obusele obunakho, ukufutheka, ukuphazamiseka.

Mhlawumbe, manje uqonda ngengqondo ukuthi kuyadingeka ukubona konke okwenzekile ekukhanyeni okwakhuthazayo ngokwengeziwe, kodwa manje imizwa ikukhukhumaza njalo futhi ikuvimbela ukuba ungaziqondi. Kodwa imizwa yakho ivamile kule simo esingavamile. Zama ukuqaphela, ukuze ubone kusuka ohlangothini lwamava akho. Okwamanje, ungasiza kakhulu abangane, umndeni, okulungele ukukulalela. Zama ukukhuluma, ungabeki imizwa yakho ngaphakathi kwakho, ngaphandle kwalokho bangakwazi ukuhlala enhliziyweni yakho isikhathi eside futhi bekwazi ukuvimba, ukuvimbela ekwakheni ubuhlobo nomuntu omthandayo esikhathini esizayo.

Umqondo onamandla wecala owaziwayo phakathi nalesi sikhathi yisizwa esingenakuphulukisa. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kungase kube yingozi uma kuthathwa ngaphandle kwesilinganiso. Izazi zengqondo ezisebenza nabantu abahlukana nokuhlukana ziye zathola ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa okungokomoya kuphela lapho umuntu eyeka ukusola ngokuhluleka futhi eqonda ukuthi abantu ababili badinga ukuchitha umndeni. Wena nomyeni wakho wangaphambili unenhloso enhle kakhulu, wonke umuntu waphupha futhi ulindele injabulo kokubili. Kodwa okokuqala wakhetha izinkomba ezahlukene, okwakungazelelwe ngisho nokusola. Uma uqonda lokhu, khona-ke ususe imizwa yenzondo nentukuthelo, futhi ukulahla ngaphandle kwenhliziyo kudingekile, ngaphandle kwalokho impilo izobukeka njengobusuku obubi. Ukumba ngezikhalazo ezidlule nokuxabana kungaletha ukuhlushwa okungapheli kuwe nakubo bonke abakuzungezile.

Ungagxila kuphela kuwe nakubhekana nakho kwakho. Khumbula ukuthi eceleni kwakho kukhona abantu abangelula futhi. Lokhu kanye nezingane zakho, ezibhekene nakakhulu okwenzekayo. Ungatholi ukucasulwa futhi ukhumbule ukuthi izingane zidinga ubaba abathandayo. Ngakho-ke, baqinisekise ukuthi bazokwazi ukubona ubaba wabo kaningi. Kanzima manje kubazali bakho kanye nabazali bomyeni wakho wangaphambili.

Ngezikhathi ezinjalo, kubalulekile ukuqala ukwenza izinhlelo zokuphila okuzayo, ukufuna usizo kuwe.

Isigaba sezinto ezihleliwe
Kuphela cishe ngonyaka ngemva kokuhlukanisa. Kulesi sigaba, okuhlangenwe nakho kokudabuka manje akupheleli, ngezinye izikhathi kubonakala sengathi sekuphelile. Isizathu sabo sihlangana nomyeni wakhe, ezinye izenzakalo ("usuku lokuqala lokuzalwa ngaphandle kwakhe," "ihlobo lokuqala ngaphandle kwakhe").

Ubunzima bokuthola ngemuva kokuhlukanisa ukuthi kukhona izikhumbuzo eziningi mayelana nomyeni - abangane abavamile, izihlobo, ithuba lokukhuluma efonini nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, ukuhlangabezana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lezi zikhumbuzo ezinzima zokulahleka, kanti enye - ithuba lokuthola kancane kancane ubuhlobo obusha. Lapho umuntu efa, emva kwesikhathi, abathandekayo banezinkumbulo zezimfanelo zakhe ezinhle, kusiza ukusinda ekufeni kwakhe ngemicabango enomusa enhliziyweni. Ukwahlukanisa, kodwa, kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu ukuthi ukucabanga, ukugxilisa izimfanelo ezinhle zomyeni akukwenzeka njalo futhi kungekudala.

Ngeshwa, owesifazane kule ndawo ngokuvamile ugcwele imizwa engaba yinkimbinkimbi, kokubili kwabanye nakwaye. Uma kukhona umphikisi, khona-ke kubangela umhawu nokufutheka - okungenani, kukhona osolayo: okhishwe, ophikisiwe, okhohlisiwe, owehlisiwe, oshiya ... Kunzima kakhulu uma umuntu evele ehamba. Hhayi kumphikisi, kepha "akukho ndawo." Lokhu kusho ukuthi akafuni ukuhlala nawe nhlobo, njengoba besho. Nguye kuphela ongcono. Ukuhlukaniswa okunjalo kuyingozi kakhulu owesifazane, ikakhulu uma ezama ukuqonda njalo, kungani evele ehamba ngesizathu esinjalo? Kunokungajabuli? Yini engazange iqede? Noma wanikela kakhulu, "waphonswa ezandleni," engamvumeli ukuba aphefumule? Owesifazane, isahlukaniso esinjalo singaba yisici esibi kakhulu esonakalisa ukuzethemba kwakhe. Isakhiwo esiyinkimbinkimbi singadalwa, umqondo wokwenqatshwa komuntu siqu, ukungenakwenzeka kwenjabulo. Lokhu kufanele kugwenywe. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuyakudingeka ukuhlaziya ngokucophelela ukuthi yiziphi izinqubo ezenzeka ekusithekeni emndenini, ukuthi ubuhlobo buyashintsha kanjani, futhi kungani, umuntu onolwazi oluningi, engaqapheli lokhu? Noma ungafuni ukuphawula? Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kudingekile ukuba uzigcine usuka ekucindezelekeni, ukungavikeleki, ukuhlupheka, zama ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani ukuhlolwa nesipiliyoni, ithuba lokuphinda ucabangisise ngaphambili bese uqala impilo entsha. Ubani owaziyo, mhlawumbe ngeke kube kubi nakakhulu, kodwa kangcono kunalowo owedlule.

Isigaba sokuqedela
Kufika cishe ngonyaka. Imfanelo yalesi sikhathi yilokho, ukukhumbula ngesiphambano, owesifazane akasasenaso usizi, futhi ukudabuka umuzwa ohluke kakhulu.

Kancane kancane, isikhathi siphulukisa wonke amanxeba. Futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ujwayele ukubhekana nazo zonke izinkinga wedwa futhi ujabule, uzizwa unelisekile ukuthi uphumelela, ukuzethemba kwakho kubuyiselwe. Futhi kulokhu, ngokuvamile ngonyaka noma amabili futhi, kunesidingo sothando olusha.