Ekuthuthukiseni kwabo, abafana bahamba ngezinyathelo ezintathu eziyinhloko.
Isigaba sokuqala sihlanganisa isikhathi kusukela ekubelethweni kuya eminyakeni eyisithupha: isikhathi lapho umfana enesixhumanisi esingcono kakhulu sengqondo nomama. Leli "mfana" wakhe, ngisho noma indima kayise empilweni yomntwana iphinde ibe mkhulu. Umgomo wemfundo kule nkathi ukudlulisela kumfana uthando olukhulu kanye nomqondo wokuphepha okuphelele.
Isigaba sesibili sithatha iminyaka engu-6 kuya kwengu-14. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi umfana ufunda ukuthi uyindoda, ubheka ubaba, ezithakazelweni zakhe nezenzo zakhe. Imigomo yemfundo ngalesi sikhathi: ukukhulisa izinga lolwazi, ukuthuthukiswa kwamakhono okudala. Ungakhohlwa ngomusa nobuqotho - okungukuthi, zama ukukhulisa ubuntu obuvumelanayo.
Esikhathini sesithathu - kusuka ku-14 ukuya enkathini yobudala - umfana udinga isibonelo somfundisi wesilisa. Abazali baya ngemuva, kodwa kumele banikeze indodana yomeluleki ofanelekayo, ukuze indawo yakhe ingabi nontanga engaqondakali. Umgomo wemfundo kulesi sigaba ukufundisa umthwalo wokuzibophezela nokuzihlonipha, ukuhileleka ekukhuliseni ingane. Indlela esemqoka yokukhetha uthisha kufanele ibe ukuphepha nokuthembeka.
Lezi zigaba azishintshi ngokuzumayo noma izinguquko ezithintekayo ngaphansi kwethonya lomunye wabazali. Indlela engcono kakhulu uma abazali behlanganyela ngokuhlanganyela emfundweni nasekuqeqesheni indodana kusukela ekuzalweni kuze kube umuntu omdala. Izigaba zikhombisa kuphela ushintsho lokugcizelelwa. Ake sicabangele isigaba ngasinye ngokwehlukana.
Iminyaka emnene (kusukela ekuzaleni kuya eminyakeni engu-6)
Amantombazane afana nalokhu okuyinhloko: kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyintombazane noma umfana (akubalulekile kumntwana noma kubazali bakhe), bonke bayathanda uma bevame ukuthathwa, badlale nabo, bathanda ukugcina izwe elibazungezile. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi sokuphila, kuyadingeka ukuba ingane izwe ukuxhumana okungenani nomuntu oyedwa. Ngokuvamile ungumama.
Ukuhlukana phakathi kwabafana namantombazane kubonakala kusukela ekuzalweni. Abafana bayathinta ukulingana okuncane kunamantombazane. Abafana bakhula ngokushesha, badlale kakhulu ngenkuthalo, baqonda ngokucacile ukuhlukaniswa nomama. Engadini, abafana ngokuvamile abazinaki izifiki, namantombazane, ngokuphambene, bawaqaphele futhi benze abangane.
Ngeshwa, abantu abadala bavame ukuphatha abafana kakhudlwana. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi amantombazane ahlanganiswa kaningi, ngisho nangesikhathi esingakhulumi. Abafana bavame ukujeziswa ngokuphindaphindiwe. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi abafana ababekezelelani ukuhlukana, ngoba abafana kufanele bahlale ekhaya baze babe neminyaka emithathu. I-Crèche ayihambisani nayo. Abafana bavame ukukhombisa izimpawu zokucindezeleka ngokomzwelo ngenxa yokulahlwa nokungabi nalutho, ngenxa yalokho, ukuhlukumezeka nokukhathazeka okungenabungozi okuphenduka ukuguquka kwengqondo kungase kuthuthuke. Imodeli efanayo iyaqhubeka eminye imindeni nasesikoleni.
Ukuqashelwa kwesibindi (kusuka ku-6 ukuya ku-13)
Cishe eminyakeni engu-6 nabafana, ushintsho olubalulekile luqala ukwenzeka. Phakathi kwabo, isibindi siqala ukuvusa. Abafana ababuka i-TV isikhathi eside, ngokuzumayo banesithakazelo ezikhali, baphupha izingubo eziphezulu, balwa futhi balwa, badlala imidlalo enomsindo. Kukhona okubaluleke nakakhulu, isici kuzo zonke izinhlanga: cishe eminyakeni eyisithupha ubudala, abafana baqala ukufaka amalungu emndenini wesilisa - ubaba, umkhulu, umfowabo omdala. Bahlale befuna ukusondelana nendoda, bafunde kuye okuthile, ukopishe izenzo zakhe, balingise konke.
Uma phakathi nalesi sikhathi ubaba engamnaki ingane yomfana, angakwazi ukukhiqiza ngisho nezenzo ezingenele, uma nje emnaka. Kule nkathi lapho ukweba ingane, i-enuresis, noma ukuziphatha okunengekayo esikoleni kungaqala (ngezinye izikhathi konke ngesikhathi esisodwa). Noma kunjalo, lokhu kuguqulwa kwezithakazelo akusho ukuthi umama uyahamba. Umama akufanele ahambe nendodana yakhe, njengoba lokhu kungamqinisekisa umfana ukuthi imizwa ehlobene nomama - uthando nokuzwela - uletha ubuhlungu. Uzofaka ikhethini bese kuyoba nzima ngaye ukuveza ukufudumala nokuzwela komunye umuntu. Ukuvalwa ngokomzwelo ngemuva kwalokhu kunzima ukuwina.
Kusukela kumfana kuya kumuntu (kusuka ku-14 kuya kumuntu omdala)
Eminyakeni engama-14, isigaba esisha sokuvuthwa siqala. Ngalesi sikhathi, abafana balula kakhulu ngokukhula, izinguquko eziningi zenzeka emzimbeni: ukwanda kwezinga le-testosterone lidlula u-800%! Nakuba konke kuyingqayizivele, kunokuthile okuvamile kule minyaka: abafana baba nenkani, bengenasiphelo, kukhona ukushintsha kwemizwa njalo. Yile ndlela ukuzalwa komuntu omusha kwenzeka, futhi ukubeletha njalo kuhamba nomzabalazo.
Ama-hormone amasha futhi afuna umhlaba omdala, futhi singazi kahle (futhi ngokuvamile siyazi) sifuna ukumgcina ebuntwaneni bakhe iminyaka embalwa, sikhohlwe ukukhuliswa okufanele. Akumangalisi ukuthi phakathi nalesi sikhathi izinkinga ziphakama. Kule minyaka, kubalulekile ukukhulisa umoya wengane, ukuyiqondisa ekudaleni, ukunikeza ithuba lokuvula amaphiko. Zonke izinkinga - utshwala, izidakamizwa, ubugebengu - zivela eqinisweni lokuthi abantwana abatholi indlela yokuphuma kwentsha yokufuna ubuqhawe nenkazimulo. Noma yikuphi impucuko eyenziwa kubafana abasebancane kanye nokukhuliswa kwabo okukhethekile. Ezikhathini zasendulo, ulwazi lugcinwa ukuthi abazali abakwazi ukufundisa abafana abasha ngaphandle kosizo lwabangaphandle. Ngokuvamile, intsha yayilondolozwe amadoda amadala ayebafundisa isayensi yezempi kanye nobuciko.
Umfana oneminyaka eyishumi nambili noma eyishumi nesithupha akakulungeli ukuma yedwa nezwe labantu abadala. Udinga othisha. Abasha abaphikelela abalaleli njalo abazali babo. Mfundisi kungenye indaba. Intombazane iyambonga, ifuna ukuba njengaye. Umsebenzi oyinhloko uthisha ukugcina ingane yakho emaphutha amabi. Abazali kufanele banakekele ukukhetha uthisha ofanelekayo. Bangase babe ngabangani bakho. Kumele aholele izingxoxo ezithandana nendodana yakho, uxoxe ngezenzakalo. Okufanelekile, intombazane iba isivakashi esamukelekile endlini yakhe, khona-ke uthisha angakwazi, "uma edingekile," acacise ubuchopho bakhe ", futhi uzokwazi ukukhala esitokisini sakhe.
Imiyalo emihlanu yoMntwana oKhulisa Imfundo
1. Qala imfundo ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka. Bamba iqhaza ekunakekeleni ingane kusukela ekuzalweni - iyala futhi ishintshe izinto ezibalulekile. Lokhu kuzokusiza ukuba uvumelane nomvuthwandaba owodwa nendodana yakho.
Thola isikhathi sokukhuluma ngenhliziyo ngenhliziyo. Uma ubaba elala njalo emsebenzini, kuyothinta kakhulu izingane.
3. Ungagodli imizwelo. Izingane zingakwazi futhi zixhunyiwe. Hlanganisa imidlalo enomsindo ngokuxhumana okunokuthula.
4. Jabulani ngempumelelo yamadodana akho. Uma uchitha isikhathi nabo kuphela ngenxa yecala noma umsebenzi, ngeke kube nzuzo. Thola izinto ozithandayo.
5. Ungakhohlwa ngesiyalo. Ukusungula imigomo yengane yomfana kufanele ibe ngokuqinile nangokuthula, ngaphandle kokujeziswa ngokomzimba. Qinisekisa ukulalela ingane bese ucabangela izithakazelo zakhe.