Izindaba ze-TV ngamacala obudlova emndenini zivela emoyeni cishe nsuku zonke. Kodwa usho ukuthi lolu hlobo lobuhlukumezi aluvamile kakhulu ... Imishaya yomndeni ingxenye ebonakalayo yalesi siqhwa. Kwabanye, ezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukunyezwa phakathi kwabashadile zihlala zingabonakali, ukuthi yiziphi eziningi, ikakhulukazi lezo ezivela kuzo, azibhekwa njengodlame nhlobo. Ubudlova obungokwengqondo buhlungu obungashiyi lutho, lokhu kuthula kunamazwi, ukudelela esikhundleni sokunakwa. Kungenzeka yini ukubala ukuthi bangaki abesifazane nabesilisa namuhla abahluphekile ngamazwi ahlazo abalingani babo, ukuhlaselwa okunonya, ukuhlambalaza, ukucabangela iminyango, ukunganakwa, ukuthukuthela ngokomzwelo? .. Futhi uma ubudlova obuvulekile ngokomzimba buyasiduduza, siyaqaphela ukuthi kuhambisani nobuhlobo obuvamile, bese kuthi ingqondo ubudlova namuhla kungatholakala emindenini eminingi "evamile". Ngomkhuba wami we-psychotherapeutic, ngivame ukubhekana nezimo lapho abantu abangaqondi ngisho ukuthi banodlame, ngakho sekuwumkhuba. Kodwa imodeli enjalo yokuziphatha ivamise kakhulu kusukela ebuntwaneni, kusukela emndenini womzali ...
Yebo, abaningi bazuze ngempela lesi sici sokuziphatha: sifunda ukwakha ubudlelwane bethu ngokwezindlela zabazali bethu abaye bafunda kumamodeli abo njalonjalo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ingane iphathwa kabi ebuntwaneni, inganaki izidingo zakhe njengomuntu, khona-ke kuyoba nzima kakhulu ukuba akhethe elinye indlela yokuxhumana nezihlobo, njengoba nje engazi abanye. Kodwa konke lokhu akulona iqiniso, noma isihluku, noma ukuhlupheka abakwenzayo komunye umuntu. Ubudlova abukwazi ukubekezelelana kwabanye noma ngokwakho. Ukuphulukana nohambo olunjalo lokuqhubeka ngumsebenzi wokusebenza kwengqondo.
Ngokuvamile bakholelwa ukuthi isisulu sobudlova enesibambiswaneni ngaso sonke isikhathi siyisifazane ... Nginengozini yokukumangaza, kodwa emindenini eminingi kunezinye izindlela ezungezile. Ingabe akuvamile - ukuhleka usulu, ukuhlukumeza, ukuhlambalaza, ukungahloniphi umlingani? Uma ezimweni ezicacile kakhulu zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, empeleni, amadoda anesibindi (njengabaqine ngokomzimba), bese kuthi ezindabeni zobundlobongela obungokwengqondo abanye besifazane abangekho ngaphansi kobulili obunamandla. Ake siqaphele, isihloko sebudlova besifazane engokwengqondo akusilo esisha: kwanele ukukhumbula "Umlando Womdobi Nenhlanzi" ... Akungabi ncane yini ngokuguquguquka kwezizukulwane nokubonakala kwazo zonke izinhlobo zokuhlukunyezwa kwansuku zonke emndenini? Kukhona izinguquko, kodwa, ngokombono wami, akubalulekile kakhulu. Eqinisweni, abantu bebelokhu belinganisela phakathi kwezibonda ezimbili zobuhlobo bomuntu - uthando namandla: eduze kwesigxobo samandla, okukhulunywa kakhulu ebuhlotsheni bobudlova, sisondelene nesibonda sothando, ngakho-ke sikhululekile kulo. Futhi, ngeshwa, imibhangqwana eshadile nabashadile, lapho ubudlova bansuku zonke engekho ngokuphelele, namuhla, maye, kuyinto ehlukile. Ubudlova ngeke kwenzeke uma umlingani ngamunye ebona komunye umuntu, hhayi impahla yakhe. Ukuze ushintshe ngempela isimo, kubalulekile ngathi ukuthi siqonde zonke izinhlobo zobudlelwane obunobudlova esisebenza kuwo komunye nomunye, kubandakanya, ngaphandle kokuqaphela. Kodwa mhlawumbe ikhambi eliphumelela kunazo zonke le nkinga ukuhlukanisa nomlingani ononya? Uma sikhuluma ngokushaywa noma ezinye izinto ezimbi - ngokuqinisekile yebo. Lesi simo asisoze salungiswa ngokwaso, futhi inkhulumomphendvulwano kuyo ngokuvamile ayinakwenzeka. Igebe yindlela enhle kunazo zonke yokuchaza ukuthi omunye akathandani ubuhlobo obunjalo, futhi akahlose ukubekezelela. Ngisho noma isinyathelo esinjalo asilula ukwenza - kunezingane ezivamile, izimo ezibonakalayo, njll Ngakolunye uhlangothi, igebe lingase lingakulungisi inkinga yobundlova ngisho nokuphila okukodwa okukhonkolo: isibonelo, uma owesifazane ehlukanisa ngenxa yokushaywa, asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi ebuhlotsheni bayo obulandelayo, konke ngeke kwenzeke futhi. Ngoba kunoma yiluphi ubudlelwano, njalo abantu ababili babamba iqhaza, okungukuthi, yilowo nalowo wabalingani abalingani kubo isabelo sabo somthwalo wemfanelo. Futhi kufanele kuqaphele ukuthi esikhathini esizayo kuyokhululeka kulolu hlobo lobuhlobo lobudlova. Futhi-ke, unganqikazi ukufuna usizo kumuntu wezengqondo noma umqondo wengqondo yomndeni. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzohlakazeka noma ubuyisana, kuzokusiza ukuba usinde.