Yeka inhlekelele - iminyaka iphela
Igama elithi "inkinga" livela esiGreek "krineo", futhi ngokwezwi nezwi lisho ukuthi "ukuhlukaniswa kwemigwaqo." Eqinisweni, lesi yisikhathi esinqumayo sokwenza isinqumo, ukuguqula empilweni yomuntu, inhlangano, ingxenye, imvelo, nanoma iyiphi enye ingqondo yomhlaba wonke. Esimeni ngasinye esithile, le nkinga ivela ngezindlela ezahlukene, nakuba zonke izinkinga zinehlelo elilodwa elijwayelekile. Ukuze uthole ukuqonda okungcono okushiwo yizinkinga ekuthuthukiseni kwengqondo komuntu, kuzomele zibhekwe njengenhlonipho, njengeSherlock Holmes. Okusho ukuthi, kusukela jikelele kuya kwangasese. Izazi zengqondo zezenhlalo zihlukanisa lezi zinkimbinkimbi zokuhlupheka kwabantu zibe izinhlobo ezimbili: ngabanye-abantu kanye nobudala. Yonke inhlekelele yenkathi kokubili iyomuntu ngamunye nangomuntu siqu, noma kunjalo, umuntu ngamunye-umuntu akakwazi ukuhambisana neminyaka. Ubudala buhlukaniswe yizingane (lapha futhi kufaka phakathi intsha) kanye nabantu abadala. Mayelana nezinkinga zezingane ziyaziwa nge-oda lobukhulu kunabantu abadala, ngezizathu ezimbili.
Okokuqala, badinga ukutadisha okwengeziwe, ukuhlelwa kwesistimu nokunqoba. Vumelana ukuthi ithuba lomntwana lokubhekana nesimo sokuphenduka ngokuzimela futhi itekisi ngendlela eqondile yindlela yokuphakama engaphansi kweyomdala onolwazi. Isizathu sesibili: ukutadisha kwabo kunikezwa kalula ngaphezu kokuhlaziywa kwezimpikiswano zabantu abadala, lapho ibha yezimpawu zomuntu ngamunye ikhula futhi "ubuqotho" bezimpendulo ngokuvamile "bukhubazekile". Isimo esandulela isimo esibucayi singakhula iminyaka, ngisho namashumi eminyaka. Mhlawumbe, Yebo, izinyanga namasonto. Kodwa izimo zokuqoqwa kwazo zihlale zifana: siqhubeka senza okuthile "okungalungile" empilweni. Asidli, asihlali nalabo, sisebenza lapho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokujulile singacabanga ukuthi yini esikwenzayo engalungile. Kodwa ukuvimbela "lapho kulandela" kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ubuvila, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi bubuhlungu, ngoba buyasongela ukulahlekelwa okuthile, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukuqondiswa kwalokhu "kuphi" akungaziwa.
Ama-Esotericist kanye nabathengi bezinto ezibonakalayo bachaza izimbangela zezinkinga ngezindlela ezahlukene, kepha okushiwo yilokhu akuguquki. Ngezinye izikhathi izenzo ezingalungile ziqoqa, bese kuthi lokhu "sivuzwa" ngaphansi kohlelo olugcwele. Ngenxa yalokho, sibhekene nokukhuphuka kokuqala kwesimo, bese sekufika inkinga yobudala. Ngenxa yokunganaki kwengqondo, isimo sokuphila sishintsha. Kuphakathi nesikhathi esibucayi ukuthi inani lehlukaniso elikhulu kunazo zonke lenzeke, izingxabano ezinkulu nabantu abaseduze, ukudilizwa, isikhathi sokufunda okungalungile nokuphambene nokuziphatha. Inkinga yeminyaka ifana nokuqhuma kwebhomu le-athomu. Konke kubonakala sengathi kuvulekile. Imicabango yethu nezenzo zethu kungasimangaza kamuva. Ngingakwenza kanjani lokhu? Ngicabanga ngempela ngale ndoda? Emva kwenkinga, kunezindlela ezimbili ezingenzeka:
"Ukufa kungukuzalwa kabusha." Ekuqaleni ngathola umvuzo, ngakho-ke ngaqonda ukuthi yini, ngenza iziphetho, ngilungisa amaphutha, ngahlanza konke okungadingekile, ngaqhubeka nokuphila okuvuselelwe nokuhle - kwabanye;
"I-Black Strip." Ngithole "okutholiwe" okuqinile, angizange ngifunde noma yini futhi ngathuthuka phambili ekufuneni izindlela ezilula, okungazelelwe ukuthi omunye ukuwa uzophinde wehlelwe phansi - kwabanye.
Ngokuvame ukwedlula izethu kanye nezindebe zabanye esizwa nge "band band" empilweni. Kodwa ngokubheka kwezazi zengqondo, kukhona "amaqembu amhlophe" amaningi ekuphileni kwethu! Kuyamangalisa, naphezu kokungapheleli okuvamile kwezwe, ezimweni eziningi izinkinga zomuntu ziphela esimweni sokuqala. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi inkinga ingenye yezakhi zokukhethwa kwemvelo. Cishe sonke sibheke ngokucophelela ivesi layo eliphumelelayo. Ukuphela okungcono kakhulu kwalolu daba ukuzola nokulandela impilo. Ngokuvamile, ngemva kweminyaka yobucayi, i-upsurge yokudala iyenzeka. Abantu banquma ukuguqula impilo yabo ibe ngcono. Zama ukukwenza ekuphileni, okubalulekile, okubalulekile.
Kodwa labo abacindezelekile, abanesisa kakhulu ukuqonda izimbangela zenkinga yobudala nemiphumela yabo, bazobhekana nesiphetho esingenakuphikwa. Imiphumela engenzeka kakhulu yilezi zifo, izifo (kubandakanya izingqondo), izinkinga ezingenasifo nabangane, emndenini, emsebenzini. Uma sibhekana nombuzo ngendlela engokomfanekiso, sasihamba, sinyathela izinyawo zethu ezansi (njengenhlanhla emlandweni ovelele kakhulu) - noma sigxila.
Izinkinga zeminyaka yengane
Ngezinkinga zezingane, indaba ihlukile kancane, kodwa, eqinisweni, into efanayo. Kukhona ukushintshela esimweni esisha somzimba kanye nesimo sengqondo, esingavamile, kwezinye izindawo ezingabanjwanga, "ezingaxazululwa" futhi ngokucindezela. Esigabeni sezingane, kuningi izinkinga ezinkulu ezibhekwayo, phakathi kweziphi eziphakathi ezingenzeka. Kodwa-ke, amathuba kanye nesilinganiso sokubonakaliswa kwabo kuwukuphela komuntu siqu nokuzithoba.
Inkinga yonyaka owodwa - ekuboneni kokuqala, cishe okungenasici, kodwa ekuqaleni kokubuka. Lokhu kuhloswe kobudlelwane nezwe kanye nesinqumo esiyisisekelo sokungazi ukuthi kufanele uyamukele noma cha. Ukuthanda abanye, ukudelela, noma ukwesaba, kunqunywa lapha futhi manje.
Inkinga yeminyaka emithathu ukuziphatha okubi ngokucacile ngisho nangesimo sengqondo esifanele. Ukuqaphela umqondo othi "cha", "akunakwenzeka", okuhlangenwe nakho kokuqala kokungatholakali kokufunayo.
Inkinga yenkinga yesikhombisa yinkinga yokuhlukanisa phakathi nengane. Ukuzibandakanya komphakathi, ukukhiqiza konke okungajwayelekile (futhi okungenakwenzeka), ukukhetha emfolokheni phakathi kokunciphisa okuncane nokuzizwa komuntu siqu. Kule minyaka, abaningi bethu baqala ukukhuluma amanga.
Isikhathi esiphezulu sivame ukugcizelela eneminyaka engu-12 kuya kwengu-14. Nakuba ingaqala eminyakeni engu-9, futhi iqede ngo-21. Ngokulandelana, iningi lentsha "iya" kwelinye izwe kusukela eminyakeni engu-11 kuya ku-17. Isikhathi sokuzibandakanya ngokocansi futhi, ngenxa yalokho, kwandisa ukuhlukumezeka, ukuqhuma kwama-hormonal nokuguquka kwemizwelo ebukhali. Umzabalazo wokuzimela, ama-swallows yokuqala ezinkinga zengqondo ezalandela. Kusukela eminyakeni engama-18 ukuya kwengu-20, ngokuvamile kuhlukaniswa kokugcina kusukela ebuntwaneni, ukukhetha ukuqeqeshwa, ukuqala komzabalazo omude nokuphikisana nenkani elangeni.
Izinkinga zeMidlife
Isikhathi esivela eminyakeni engu-20 kuya kweyama-27 sibhekwa njengokungabi namnyama. Ngamanye amazwi, ukuphazamiseka okwenzeka kule nkathi yobudala kungomlingiswa ngamunye. Abantu abaningi bakhumbula le minyaka njengento engcono kakhulu ekuphileni kwabo. Ezinye izazi ze-psychologists zibona ukuthi usuku olubizwa ngokuthi "inkinga yobudala obuphakathi" kufanele lukhishwe esikhathini esibekiwe sokuphila okuhlukaniswe ngesigamu, okungenani isilinganiso sokuphila esilinganiselwe emhlalaphansi. Mayelana nalokhu, kwaphakanyiswa ukucabangela inkinga eneminyaka engu-25 ubudala. Noma kunjalo, ukuphikisana kwenkolelo enjalo kuyabonakala. Ngaphezu kwalokho, iminyaka yokudala komndeni nokubeletha emashumini eminyaka asanda kufike eminyakeni engama-35, kukhulisa intsha yethu engakhathazeki.
Isiqalo sokuqala sokuvuthwa sineminyaka yobudala engama-27-29, esandulela "inkinga ye-thirties" . Ngalesi sikhathi siqhathanisa amaphupho kanye neqiniso, futhi sibubula sidabukile. Ithemba elihle kakhulu lishintsha kakhulu uhlobo lomsebenzi nendlela yokuphila. Abesifazane, abangafika ku-30 abakhele umsebenzi, bazinikele ngokuzumayo ekudalweni komndeni nasekuzalweni kwenzalo. Futhi omama bemindeni, ngokuphambene nalokho, baqala ukwenza umsebenzi. Ingxenye yalokhu ingenxa yezinganekwane ezithinteka ngokuqinile "ekuzaleni 30". Kusukela eneminyaka engu-30 ubudala, zonke izinkinga ezalandela kumuntu zikhona ngaphansi kwesibonakaliso sokuhlaziywa kwamagugu nokubuza yonke into eyaphumelela empilweni. Kule nkathi kuphakama imicabango: "Ngisekhona kakade, futhi ngisaphila" futhi "futhi yilokho engikufanelekelayo?"
Eminyakeni engama-30 yenkinga, "i-middle-of-life crisis" ilandela, okungabangela umonakalo omkhulu kakhulu kumuntu siqu, emsebenzini wakhe, futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, isimo somndeni somuntu. Iminyaka engu-40 - 45 - iminyaka yokuhlukanisa nemishado ephindaphindiwe, "amademoni ezimbambo" kanye nobudlova obuncane, obuthathwa njengobusha obusha. Nguyena oneminyaka engamashumi amane ubudala ovame ukuphendukela kuma-psychoanalysts. Futhi uma kwenzeka ukuphuma okungalungile kulesi simo esibucayi, bavame ukungena kuzo zonke izinhlobo zamahlelo. Isiteji se "midlalo yokuphila" ivame ukubonakala phambi kwethu ngesiboniso esibucayi, lapho amaphutha ethu abonakaliswa ngokweqile, futhi impumelelo ayibonakali nhlobo.
Izinkinga zabantu asebekhulile
Cishe eminyakeni engama-55 kuya kwengu-75 umuntu uhamba "ngengozi yokuguga" , umqondo wokuthi, mhlawumbe, awuqondi kahle. Le nkathi inezinyathelo eziningana, inombolo ngqo kanye nobude buxhomeke esimweni sezempilo esitholakalayo emisebenzini nasemiphakathini yomphakathi. Futhi futhi kusukela ezingeni lomqondo nengokomoya lomuntu. Kule minyaka yobudala, ungakwazi kokubili ukuqala ukulwa nemicabango yokufa, futhi ubuyisane nabo futhi ngokufanelekile uye ekugcineni. Indlela yokuguqula indlela yakho yokuphila ibe yinto ehlelekile, futhi udale iqembu labathandi abadala be-parachuting. Abaningi besaba ukuthi "bazosinda" baye emhlalaphansi futhi baqale ukusebenza kangcono kunabasha. Abanye, endleleni, bashade. Esinye sezigaba zenkinga yokuguga "yinkathi enhle" (iminyaka engama-70 kuya kweyengu-80), lapho umuntu eqoqa, njengokungathi kukhona esikhungweni, yonke into ifinyelelwe, yamukelwa, ilahlekile futhi yenzeke. Usevele "lapha", futhi "lapho," futhi ngezikhathi ezithile ngokomoya kunzima kakhulu kunabaneminyaka engama-25 ubudala. Ngokuvamile ubani okwazi ukuphila ukuze abe neminyaka eyikhulu ubudala. Labo abasinda kulo nyaka obhekene nonyaka babhekene "nenhlekelele" ye-futurological , beqaphela ukuthi maduzane bazoshiya, futhi bahlale ngenxa yesayensi. Phakathi neminyaka eyikhulu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuzwakale kangakanani, ukuzama ukuzibulala kuphumelele kakhulu. Kodwa-ke, "ukukhanya" kule minyaka kuyinto yangempela. Amadoda amadala awawona ize zonke izikhathi futhi kuwo wonke amasiko abhekwa njengokuhlakanipha.
Akunakwenzeka ukuqinisekisa ukubhekana nezinkinga zeminyaka ekuthuthukiseni kwengqondo yomuntu. Nokho, kufanele kukhunjulwe ukuthi le nkinga, njengento yonke kulokhu kuphila, iphelile. Futhi ukuthi kuzoba kanjani kuxhomeke kuwe kuphela. Kungabangela kokubili ukuthuthwa okungapheli kanye nesigaba esisha esimangalisayo empilweni.