Izazi zengqondo zikholelwa ukuthi isikhathi lapho inkinga ivela khona ebuhlotsheni, kuxhomeke esiteji sokuthuthukiswa komndeni uqobo, kusuka ezidingo zomndeni. Umndeni ngamunye ngamunye unalezi zinkinga ngezikhathi ezihlukene: umuntu angase abe nokushintshwa kanye namasonto ambalwa emva kwenyanga yokuzalwa, futhi umuntu kuphela emva kwamashumi eminyaka eminyaka yedolobha elijabulisayo idyll. Impumelelo yokubhekana nalezi zikhathi cishe incike ngesifiso sabo bobabili abalingani ukuze bathole ukuyekethisa, ukwamukela, hhayi ukushintshana.
I-Crisis First
Kwenzeka uma sishintsha umbono wethu wokuqala womlingani - lokhu kuyindlela yokuguquka embonweni omuhle wothando womuntu othandekayo kuze kube yinto ebonakalayo, engokoqobo futhi enamandla. Kulo mzuzu, abantu bayaqaphela ukuthi ukuphila komshado akukhona nje kuphela ukuhamba ebusuku, ukuhlangana okuthandanayo nokuqamba phansi kwenyanga, kodwa futhi ngokuhlanganyela, ngezinye izikhathi ukukhathazeka, impilo yansuku zonke. Akuvunyelwanga kuphela kuyo yonke into, kodwa futhi nesidingo sokuvuma. Ngalesi sikhathi, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi kuvame ukudingeka ukushintsha imikhuba yakho ukuze ugcine ubuhlobo obuhle kanye nemvelo enhle emndenini.
Inkinga Yesibili
Iqala uma kunesidingo sokuzihlukanisa ngokwethu nomzwelo we "thina", ukukhulula ingxenye yobuntu bethu ekuthuthukiseni kwethu. Kubaluleke kakhulu lapha ukuthi "I" komunye ayingqubuzana no "Mina" komunye, kodwa ubumbene ngokuvumelana nokuhambisana. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ekukhulumisaneni kuyadingeka ukusebenzisa isu lokubambisana, okuwukuthola okunye: ukuthi ungalokothi ulahlekelwe yedwa futhi ungaphuli komunye umuntu. Isibonelo, uma isikhundla sesinye kule nkathi "sinezinto ezifanayo, sonke kufanele senze ndawonye", kuyasiza ukuyibuyekeza ngokuqondakala kokunye okunye: "Ngiyahlonipha ukuzimela komunye futhi ngiyamqaphela ilungelo lokuphila kwami siqu, elingavumeli eyodwa umndeni ".
I-Crisis Third
Kubonakala lapho umuntu efuna ukwazi umhlaba ozungezile, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo unamathele kakhulu emndenini wakhe, futhi lo mzwelo wezingxabano uvame ukuholela emaphakathini emndenini. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ungaphuthelwa isikhathi lapho umlingani womuntu okhululekile angase abe nomzwelo wokuzimela ngokugcwele futhi ngisho nokulahla emndenini, kanti umlingani wesibili uzolalela intando kanye nezifiso zasokuqala. Khona-ke ukugcizelela ukugcizelela ezweni langaphandle, futhi umndeni, esikhundleni sokukhonza njengesisusa sokuthuthukiswa, ngokuzumayo kuba umthwalo futhi ube umthwalo ongenakubekezelela.
Inkinga yesine
Kuyenzeka lapho umuntu eguqula ukuqondiswa okungaphakathi kwangaphakathi, okungukuthi, oshade naye uqala ukunikeza okuthandayo hhayi ohlangothini lokuphila, kodwa ngokomoya. Kwenzeka njalo lapho izingane sezibadala futhi azidingi ukunakekelwa njalo kwabazali, izingane ngokwabo zifuna ukukhula nokuthuthukisa njengabantu ngabanye. Umndeni womlingani uvame ukuhamba kahle, indoda nomfazi banezimpumelelo ezithile ezisebenzayo emva kwabo. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, ungase ube nemicabango engamanga: "Njengoba sasibumbene kuphela nezingane ezivamile, kubalulekile kunoma yiziphi izindleko ukuzama ukuzigcina zisondelene nabo, hhayi ukuzivumela ukuba zihambe zodwa," noma "izingane ezikhulile ziyangikhumbuza njalo iqiniso lokuthi impilo yami isondela ekupheleni, kuba yize futhi engenalutho, "noma" sesivele siphelile, manje sidinga ukuvumela izingane zethu ziphile, futhi singazidela. " Lezi zinzwa ezishaya indiva zidala ukudabuka nokukhathazeka esikhundleni senjabulo nenjabulo ngenxa yokuthi ungazizwa ukhululekile futhi, ungagxila kuphela ezinganeni futhi uzenzele kanye nezenzo zakho ozithandayo.
Indlela ekahle yokudlulisa inhlekelele: ukuvela kwesidingo sokushintsha, isifiso sokuphila lo mpilo ngokwakho, ukujabulela nokuthuthukisa njengomuntu. Uhambo oluhlangene, imihlangano nabangani kanye nokuvakashelwa enkundleni yaseshashalazini baqala futhi. Labo abasinda kule nkinga ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa, bazizwa ukukhula kwamandla, ukwanda kwamandla amakhulu nesifiso esisha sokuthandana nokuthandwa, intshisekelo ekuphileni, isifiso sobunye nabantu bezwe lonke kanye nomlingani wabo oshade naye.
Inkinga yesihlanu
Ungakwazi ukuhambisana nezinkinga eziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu: "Ukuphila kwami kusondela ngokushesha ekushoneni kwelanga, ukuphela kwayo nokuphela kwayo, ngakho-ke konke okunye kufanele kuphile ngokulindela nokulungiselela ukufa." Abanye abashadile balungiswa ekuhlangenwe nakho kwabo, bafuna abantu abakuzungezile bazizwe bebazwela futhi banikeze ukunakekelwa okuphezulu. Kodwa njalo kuxhomeke ngqo kumuntu ngokwakhe ukuthi impilo yakhe ibonakala kuye. Ungenalutho futhi awunamsebenzi noma ugcwele izinjabulo nezenzakalo eziqhakazile wena futhi uzuze kwabanye abantu. Uma umuntu efika eminyakeni ethile, imizwa yakhe ifika ekuvuthweni, ibe mncane futhi ezwela kakhulu, angathola lezo zithokozo zokuphila engabonanga ngenxa yobusha bakhe kanye ne-maximalism.
Okufanelekile, kulo mndeni, ngalesi sikhathi, futhi kubuye kube yisikhathi sobudlelwane bomshado, kodwa kungabonakali futhi bubuwula njengobusha, kodwa ngolwazi ngobuthakathaka nokungaphumeleli, ikhono nesifiso sokwamukela umlingani wakho ngokuphelele. Ukubaluleka komlingani kuyanda, incazelo yombono othi "thina" iyanda futhi kuvela ukuzwa: "Enye iyigugu kimi kunami." Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukukholelwa emandleni akho kanye nesithakazelo empilweni kuqinisiwe, ukubuyela ezithakazelweni zangaphambili ezithandwayo kwenzeka, noma kuvela izinto ezintsha zokuzilibazisa.