Kodwa umbuzo uwukuthi, akufanele yini simthande njengoba ekhona, futhi uma kungenjalo, kungani sifuna ukushintsha othandekayo, futhi lokhu kungahle kwenzeke.
Ngakho-ke, ake sizame ukuqonda le nkinga, ekuboneni kuqala konke okulula, sifuna ukushintsha othandekayo, ngoba into ayifani nathi kuyo. Kodwa lokhu kuyisiphithiphithi se-iceberg, ngoba uma kukhona okungahambisani nathi kulabo abathandekayo, ingabe uyithandeka kakhulu kuwe? Futhi lo umbuzo wokuqala okudingeka uphendule ngawo. Futhi futhi kule mibuzo elandelayo, bayokusiza uqonde izizathu zokufuna ukushintsha indoda yakho.
Umbuzo wokuqala. Ngimthanda?
Njengoba kushiwo ngenhla, ukuphila kuyinkimbinkimbi, futhi ngezinye izikhathi ungakwazi ukuhlangana nendoda ebonakala enhle, futhi konke kulungile, kodwa kuyabangela, ngesizathu esithile cha. Noma kukhona inhlansi, kodwa injini ayifuni. Khona-ke kudingeka udinga ukuthi yini ongayithandi ngomuntu othandekayo wakho mhlawumbe okuyingxenye ebalulekile yalo, futhi uma ulahlekelwa yikho, umuntu angamane elahlekelwe yedwa futhi ngeke esasithakazelisayo. Uma uqonda ukuthi into ongayithandi kubathandekayo bakho yenza kube ngabanye, cishe cishe awuyithandi, kodwa njengomfanekiso owenziwe ngombono wakho, ngokusekelwe kwezinye izimfanelo zayo.
Umbuzo wesibili. Ingabe ngempela unezinkinga eziningi?
Indoda ngokuyisisekelo, futhi indoda ngokukhethekile, indalo ayilungile. Futhi inhle ngokujwayelekile, ngokombono wami, ayifinyeleleki. Kodwa uyayilwela, ngesikhathi esifanayo, kuyadingeka. Futhi yini edingekayo, yini engayifinyelela enhle? Ukushintsha ngokufanele kuntuleka, kodwa ngenxa yalokhu kudingekile kuqala ukuqonda, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yizintandokazi zethu kuningi kakhulu. Ngempela, ngokuqinisekile, akuwona wonke amaphutha ayo okudingeka ashintshwe, iningi lazo ngokubaluleka kwalolu daba luyinto encane, okuyiyona engenzeka futhi ukuzama. Kodwa uma ezinye zezimfanelo zalo ziphelele ngokuphelele kuwe, kufanele uzame ukuzishintsha ngaphandle kokungabaza. Othandekayo wakho unamaphutha amaningi kakhulu. Okokuqala udinga ukuqonda ukuthi ngabe ungumuntu noma cha
Umbuzo wesithathu. Umzamo wokushintsha othandekayo, ongashintshi uqobo.
Lokhu kuyindlela eyaziwayo yokuzivikela kwengqondo, ivame ukusetshenziselwa kokubili amadoda nabesifazane, ukusola ngamaphutha abo omunye. Futhi zama ukuguqula kunokuguqula wena. Kulokhu, kufanele ubuke ngokucophelela futhi uhlaziye wena, othandekayo bakho, nokuthi yini ngempela ongakhathali ngayo. Phela, mhlawumbe lokho ongakuthandi ngakho kungumphumela oqondile walokho ongakuthandi ngawe, futhi izingxabano ezivela kuwe azibangelwa izimfanelo zayo ezingalungile, kodwa kungezakho. Ukuze uhlaziye ngokwanele lesi simo, ngeke kube khona ukufuna iseluleko somuntu ohlangothini, hhayi osondelene kakhulu, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo asihambanga ngokuphelele.
Umbuzo ezine. Ungakhathali yini into ethile empilweni yakho?
Mhlawumbe isifiso sokushintsha othandekayo wakho akukona ngenxa yokuthi awujabuli kakhulu ngakho, noma cha ngoba into ayihambisani nawe. Futhi nje ngenxa yesidingo sokushintsha okuthile ekuphileni ngokujwayelekile, kungabangelwa izici eziningi, ukwehluleka emsebenzini, ukucindezeleka nabanye abaningi. Uma ngemuva kwe-introspection, waqaphela ukuthi isizathu yilokho ngempela. Lokho kuyoba okulungile kakhulu ukuguqula, into ebomini, kunokuba ushintshe okuthile kubathandekayo bakho.
Imibuzo engenhla, akuyona yonke into okufanele uphendule ukuze ukwazi ukuthi kungani, ufuna ukushintsha othandekayo wakho. Kodwa ngithemba ukuthi bazokusiza ekuxazululeni izinkinga zakho.