Uma indodakazi yakho ithandana nomlingisi, okokuqala, esikhundleni sokwesaba nokukhathazeka, hlaziya isimo bese unquma wonke ama-pluses.
Ukubonakaliswa Kothando
Ngakho, uyini uthando lomdlali? Ngokuvamile, lokhu kubonakala njengokuthenga amaphosta, ukuphequlula wonke amafilimu noma ama-serials naye kumbuthano, ukufuna noma yiluphi ulwazi. Intombazane ibonakala ihlelwe kulo muntu. Kodwa nathi siziphatha uma sithandana nomuntu wangempela: sifuna ukumbona njalo lo muntu nonke ngaye mayelana nokwazi. Ngakho ukuziphatha kwengane yakho akunakuthiwa kungenele. Kulula nje, lapho yonke imizwelo ingatshelwa kumfana ohlala edeskini elilandelayo, kodwa kumuntu ohlala kude namakhulu noma ngisho nezinkulungwane zamakhilomitha, umuntu omdala ubonakala engaziwa.
Ithonya lomdlali ontombazana
Manje ake sikhulume ngokuthi ngabe umlingisi noma umlingisi (ngemuva kwakho konke, kuvame ukuthi kwenzeka ukuthi ukuthandana nomlingisi kunothando lomuntu owenzayo), elihle noma elibi. Futhi, noma kunjalo, isibonelo, i-vampire, ungayibhale ngokushesha esigabeni sabahlali. Ngemuva kwalokho, mhlawumbe, ekuthuthukiseni isakhiwo, uzibonakalise njengomkhono omuhle, izinguquko ezingcono futhi uzibonakalise njengeqhawe elungele ukuhamba konke ngenxa yothandekayo. Ngakho, okokuqala, phuma, ku-kogovublena indodakazi yakho. Futhi kunoma yikuphi, ungayigxeki, ikakhulukazi uma ungaqondi ngempela ukuthi umdlali noma umuntfu ukhona. Kungenzeka ukuthi ngenxa yothando olunjalo, intombazane ifunda okuthile kokuhlakanipha kokuphila. Ngakho-ke, kungaba okungenakuqhathanisa ukufunda i-interview nale ndoda, ukuthola ukuthi yiziphi imicabango azidluliselayo. Uma ubona ukuthi lo muntu uthi izinto ezifanele futhi ukhuthaza umusa, ukwethembeka, inhlonipho, isifiso sokufeza okuthile ngomsebenzi wakhe nokunye, ngakho-ke ngeke ukwazi ukukhathazeka. Phela, ngoba ingane yakho njengamanje iyinhlangano evamile, indodakazi izokulalela amazwi omlingisi othandekayo futhi wenze njengoba ekhuluma.
Kodwa ezimweni lapho intandokazi yengane ngokusobala kuyindlela engalungile yokuphila futhi isakaze ukuziphatha kwakhe, ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile, "ubulili, izidakamizwa kanye nedwala nomqulu," kudingeka uqaphele. Ungasheshi ukukhipha wonke ama-posters bese usola lo muntu ngezono ezifayo. Khumbula ukuthi indodakazi yakho ingumfana osemusha. Kule minyaka yobudala, sonke sihlanganisa futhi sibona konke "ngama-bayonethi." Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokuvimbela ingane, takshazat, thanda umlingisi, vele ukhulume naye, thola ukuthi uhlobene kanjani nokulutha kwakhe nokunye. Uma le ntombazane ilahla, ngakho-ke akukho lutho lokukhathazeka ngalo. Kodwa uma kwenzeka ethatha uhlangothi lwakhe futhi etshela ukuthi kuhle ukuhlala, zama ukuyihlisa phansi. Kodwa noma kunjalo, kunoma yikuphi, ungalokothi uqhubekele intombazane futhi ungabonakali isimo sakho sengqondo esibi esithombeni sakhe.
Ithuthukiswe yi
Uma indodakazi yakho ithandana nomuntu onethalente futhi owanele, imizwa enjalo ingaba isisusa ekuthuthukiseni umvuthwandaba wokudala emntwaneni. Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi ngemuva kokuba kuthathwe omunye umlingisi, amantombazane aqala ukudweba izithombe zakhe, abhale izinkondlo kanye nezindaba, abhale izingoma. Futhi emva kwakho konke kuhle, ngoba ngenxa yokuzilibazisa okunjalo, intombazane ingakwazi ukuvula yona ngokwayo ukuqala okuvela ngaye futhi engacatshangwa, njengoba ibonakale imbongi enekhono noma umculi omuhle. Ngakho-ke, uqaphele ukuthi indodakazi yakho ibhala izinkondlo noma ivela ngomsindo omusha, ungamhleki nhlobo futhi ungasho ukuthi lokhu kuyisifiso. Vumela ukuthi uthuthuke. Khona-ke uthando lomdlali luzodlulela, futhi isifiso sokudala sizohlala kuze kube phakade. Kodwa lapho abazali beqala ukuhleka ukuzilibazisa kwezingane zabo, ngokuvamile amantombazane akwenqaba nje noma yiziphi izinto zokuzilibazisa nokuzilibazisa, baqale ukuzicabangela ukuthi bangenangqondo, bangakwazi ukwenza okuthile okuthakazelisayo nokukhethekile. Ngakho, ngaphambi kokusho okuthile kwendodakazi yakho, cabanga ngokucophelela. Emva kwakho konke, uma lokhu kubonakala sengathi ihlaya elingenacala, khona-ke amagama omntwana azomcasula kakhulu futhi aphumele enhliziyweni.
"Uthando" oluphephile
Uma omama beqala ukukhathazeka ngothando lwenkosazana yabo, bahlale bengacabangi ukuthi leli hlobo luthando liphephe kakhulu kunazo zonke. Yiqiniso, uma intombazane ingabaleki ngokujulile ekhaya futhi ingasheshi ukuyofuna othandekayo futhi yishade naye. Kodwa njengoba iningi lezingane zithandana nabalingisi bangaphandle, lokhu kuhluka kwemicimbi kungenzeka kakhulu. Uma intombazane yakho ihlezi ekhaya futhi ibhala izinhlamvu zothando "etafuleni," khona-ke, empeleni, unenhlanhla kakhulu. Phela, kulokhu, indodakazi yakho ngeke iphule inhliziyo futhi ingaphutheli. Uma wayethandana kakhulu nomfana wangempela, ikakhulukazi osekhulile, ngakho konke kungaqeda kabi. Futhi-ke, engenakho ukufinyelela kwangempela kumuntu, intombazane ivele ifunde ukuthanda, ngaphandle kokulahlekelwa lutho. Yiqiniso, kubonakala sengathi uhlupheka futhi imizwa yakhe inamandla kakhulu, kodwa empeleni iminyaka iyodlula futhi indodakazi yakho izoqonda ukuthi lolu thando lwaluyinto ehlanzekile, ekhanyayo futhi engenabuhlungu. Ngemuva kwalokho, wayemthanda umuntu owasungulwa, owanikeze okhethekile, enhle ngokwabo. Futhi akazange amdumaze nganoma iyiphi indlela. Ukucabanga okunjalo kwezithombe kuhambisana cishe bonke abamele besifazane, kodwa kuphela uma umuntu engokoqobo, cishe, ekugcineni, uvele ephule wonke amaphupho kanye nethemba. Kodwa umdlali we-poster uzohlala njalo njengoba intombazane ibona. Ngeke akhubekise, angeke akhubekise, ngeke ahlazise futhi ahleke imizwa yakhe.
Ngakho-ke, ngokucaphuna phezulu, kungashiwo ukuthi uthando lwe-aktor cishe luyinkinga ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ngokuphambene nalokho, umqondo onjalo wesikhathi esithile uvikela ingane yakho ezweni langempela kanye nothando langempela, okuyinto enonya kakhulu. Kodwa uma uthando ludlula, intombazane izokhula futhi ikwazi ukubheka ngokuqondile abantu nezimo.