Kuvame ukukholelwa ukuthi ubulili buyisisekelo sobuhlobo phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane, okuthiwa isisekelo sobuhlobo. Kodwa khumbula, ubulili kufanele buhlanganise ubudlelwane, hhayi ukubuyiselwa. Futhi kuthiwani uma kungekho ubulili ebuhlotsheni, ukuthi ungaba kanjani? Ingabe kukhona ubudlelwane obunjalo? Ingabe banelungelo lokuba khona?
Ubudlelwane ngaphandle kocansi banelungelo lokuba khona, kodwa kuphela uma bobabili abalingani bezwa bekhululekile ezimweni ezinjalo, okungukuthi, lesi simo sithatha izinhlangothi zombili.
Imibhangqwana eminingi inebudlelwano obuhambelana ngaphandle kocansi. Banezintandokazi ezibonakalayo komunye nomunye, uthando, ukufudumala, ukunakekelwa nokunakekelwa. Ubulili kubo akuyona into edingekayo ebuhlotsheni babo, kulesi simo, ukungabi nobulili akuyona inkinga, abalingani bathola abathintekayo bezocansi abadinga, futhi bazizwa bejabule kakhulu. Futhi kuhle!
Ngokuvamile, khumbula ukuthi akufanele uqhubekele mayelana nesimo sengqondo: uma kungekho ubulili ebuhlotsheni, khona-ke kukhona okungalungile. Phila imizwelo yakho nemizwa yakho! Wonke umuntu unezidingo ezehlukene zobulili. Futhi mhlawumbe, iqiniso lokuthi enye yukuntuleka kocansi, ngoba enye, ngokuphambene nalokho, kubhekwa njengukuphila okugcwele ngokocansi okugcwele! Sonke sihlukile - khumbula lokhu. Ngakho-ke, inkinga enkulu akufanele ibe "Kungani kungekho ubulili?", Kodwa "Ngizizwa kanjani ngaphandle kwalo?"
Ngeshwa, empilweni ngokuvamile kuvame isimo esihlukile, lapho ukungabi nobulili kuba yinkinga. Uma kungenxa yokuntuleka kocansi, ubudlelwane buya phansi. Ngokuvamile abalingani bakholelwa: njengoba kungekho ubulili, uthando seludlulile! Okufanele ukwenze uma kungekho ubulili ebuhlotsheni, kodwa awuyithandi neze. Yilokho kanye okudingayo ukuyiqonda! Okokuqala, ungakhathazeki! Zama ukuqonda izizathu zokuntuleka kocansi futhi ucabange ukuthi ubani osola ukuthi akukho ubulili ebuhlotsheni. Izizathu zokuntuleka kocansi zingahluka kakhulu. Mhlawumbe unenkinga yesikhashana yengqondo noma yangokwenyama, kanti isazi sezokwelapha (isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, i-sexologist, njll) singakusiza izikhathi eziningana futhi uzizwe futhi!
Izizathu zokuntuleka kocansi kungaba: yobudala, isimo sengqondo esibi, ukungajabuli ngokuphila, impilo (ngokuqondile, ukungabi khona kwayo), ukuhlubuka, ukuthukuthela.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, esinye sezizathu kungase kube okuthiwa "isithukuthezi socansi" Uma wazi kusengaphambili. Kuthiwani nokuthi kuzokwenzeka kanjani, kunjani. Kulokhu, akumane nje kuthakazelise ukwenza uthando. Ngokuvamile kubonakala kubalingani abaye baba nobuhlobo obude.
Kungenzeka ukubala izizathu zokungabikho kobudlelwano bobulili isikhathi eside, kodwa kungenzeka ukulungisa isimo. Akekho ucansi, umbulale! Konke kusezandleni zakho! Sebenzisa yonke imizamo kanye nayo yonke ingqondo yakho yokubuyisela impilo evamile yobulili.
Zama ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile nomngane wakho, tshela ukuthi awuthandi, khuluma ngezinkinga zakho nezifiso zakho. Lona usizo lokuqala lwezinkinga. Ungavali ngaphakathi! Zizwa ukhululekile ukuvula ingxoxo, ungazi ukuthi ungaqala kanjani - funda izincwadi ezikhethekile, kufanele uzisize. Zama nje ukukhetha isikhathi esifanele salengxoxo kanye nenkulumo efanele. Ungaya kumathoni aphakanyisiwe futhi ungazami ukusola umlingani wakho kuphela. Kule nkinga, bobabili bavame ukusola. Uma ukhuluma ngokukhululekile, kuzoba lula kuwe esikhathini esizayo.
Letha okuhlukahlukene ekuphileni kwakho kocansi, ngakho-ke isikhathi ngasinye ngendlela entsha. Yiba nomunye nomunye, zama ukuhlonipha izithakazelo nezifiso zomlingani wakho. Uthando lomusa nemizwelo. Yiba nombono oqhakazile kunazo zonke futhi owedlula zonke kumlingani wakho. Mhlawumbe lokhu kuzokusiza ekudlaleni imidlalo edlala indima, ukufaka okusha noma ngisho nendawo entsha. Ungakwazi ngisho nje ukuchitha iviki kuphela uqobo, uzinikele isikhathi komunye nomunye bese-ke uthando lwakho luzobuya. Kodwa ungakhohlwa ukuthi ukukhanga kuvela kumuntu ozilungiselele kahle obuka ukubukeka kwakhe!
Uma umlingani wakho edinga ubulili obuncane kunakho, zama ukwenza lesi sikhathi kungenakulibaleka ukuthi izinzwa zizohlala isikhathi eside, kuze kube yisikhathi esilandelayo.
Uma ungafuni ucansi ukuba uhambe empilweni yakho, zama ukungabi namathuba okubhekisela ekuhloleni ikhanda, ukhathala kanye nomsebenzi. Ungahlala uthola isikhathi somuntu othandekayo.
Ngokuvamile, ukuntuleka kobulili kukhulula isikhathi esiningi, amandla namandla, okungahanjiswa ngendlela ehlukile! Ngakho-ke, ungahlanganyela emisebenzini esebenzayo, ukuthi yini esekude ephuphile yokwenza, kodwa kwakungekho isikhathi esanele, ungene emsebenzini futhi uphakamise izinga lezemisebenzi, uthuthukise isimo sabo senhlalo. Kodwa ungaba khona isikhathi eside, ucindezelekile futhi uzwele, njengoba lokhu esikhathini esizayo kungathinta ubuhlobo bakho bobulili obuqhubekayo. Futhi elinye iphuzu elilodwa alingazikhohlwa wena!