Konke kufundiswa uma kuqhathaniswa na?
Izazi zezinqondo zithi ukuziqhathanisa wena nabanye abantu kuyisici esiyingxenye yesimo somuntu. Ngakho-ke, akunakwenzeka ukuthi uhlale unqamuka. Nakuba kulungile kufanele kuqashelwe ukuthi abanye abantu bathatha le nqubo ngaphezulu, abanye bangaphansi. Ngenxa yokuthi lesi siqhathaniso kaningi asihambisani nathi, ochwepheshe bayeluleka ngokuqinile abesifazane ukuba bashiye masinyane lesi simkhuba esiyingozi. Kuvela ukuthi akasilethi lutho ngaphandle kokucindezeleka.
Kufanele ukwazi ukukhumbula ingane yakho enhle kakhulu futhi enhle kakhulu, ukuqonda: umsuka wezingxabano zethu zanamuhla zikhona ngqo. Kusukela enkulisa, bese esikoleni, besihlale sifundiswa ukuncintisana, ukuvuselela impumelelo yethu nezingane zabanye abantu. Iqiniso liwukuthi abazali abaningi bangathanda ukubona izingane zabo ngokuthi "ziningi kakhulu". Futhi abadala ngokuvamile abathandeki ukuthi ulwazi olujulile ingane yabo lithola esikoleni. Kubo, kubalulekile into eyodwa kuphela - ukuthi indodakazi ibhekwa njengomfundi wokuqala ekilasini. Futhi ngisho nakakhulu - nasesikoleni sonke. Kodwa ngale ndlela, omama nabazali bafundisa izingane zabo ukuba ziqhathanise ngokuqhubekayo izimpumelelo zabo nakwabanye. Okusho ukuthi, ukuhlala ezweni lezinhlobo ezihlobene, hhayi okuphelele. Kuhle, uma ingane enjalo, lapho ikhula, ayiphenduke ibe mania. Kodwa bangaki abesifazane abadala abakhulelwe kakhulu!
Kunesinye isizathu esivumela ukuba sitshele ukuthi ekuzalweni kwemicabango enjalo kwabafazi abazali babo kufanele basolwe icala. Lapho iziguli zanamuhla zengqondo bezingamantombazane amancane, zazivame ukukhulelwa ukuze zihlale zibuza amathalenta namakhono abo. Futhi kunoma yikuphi okwakungenakuziqhenya ngokwakho. Abazali bakholelwa ukuthi lokhu kuzobasindisa ekudumeni esikhathini esizayo. Futhi kuvela ukuthi konke okuphambene nalokho! Baqhubeka behlola amathuba abo okuthiwa "troyka", kanti abanye abantu bakubheka njengokungavamile. Futhi lokhu, eqinisweni, akufaki enjabulweni yabo. Yebo, nokuthi ungayitholiphi, uma ihlelwe kuphela kulokho engayitholi. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo bayakhohlwa ngempumelelo yabo, ezohlala itholakale kulowo nalowo kithi.
Abesifazane baphendukela ezingqondweni zezokwelapha, okuye kancane kancane impilo yabo ingenakubekezelelwa. Uma izintombi zabo zenza okuthile okuhle, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ijezi elinomkhono noma i-Ph.D. ukuhlaziywa, bafika engqondweni ngomcabango owodwa owenza ukuba bangene ebuhlungu. Lona umbono wokuthi bona ngokwabo ngeke bakwazi. Nakuba kuvamile ukuthi abesifazane abanjalo bakhononde ngento ethile, akukho lutho: umndeni oqinile, impilo ephephile, ikhanda elikhanyayo. Kubonakala sengathi usadingeka ujabule? Kodwa cha, abakukhumbuli ngisho. Futhi bathola umuzwa wokungabaluleki kwabo konke, okungavela kuwo. Ngendlela, kungenzeka ukuthi othile uvela ngempela.
Ngokuvamile, abazali benza elinye iphutha emfundweni, ngenxa yokuthi izingane zabo ngenkani zifuna ukukholelwa ekuthuleni kwabo. Abaningi benu bayokhumbula ukuthi omama bakho - embhalweni ocacile noma ngokulingana - bafakwe kuwe, amantombazane asebasha, ukuthi impilo ibhekwa ngempumelelo kuphela esimweni esisodwa. Okunjalo, uma kuthuthukiswe ngokwemodeli ethile. Isibonelo, umyeni ocebile nowenakekelayo, izingane eziningana ezihlakaniphile kanye nokuphakama okukhulu kwezemisebenzi. Ngakho abesifazane beseminyakeni yobudala bafundiswa ngazo zonke izindleko zokulwela ukuphakama kwezinguquko. Futhi uma beqhubeka behlala emhlabeni, isikhathi eside sisohlwini lwazo okufanele bakwenze. Kodwa njengoba kungekhona wonke umuntu okwazi ukufanisa, kungani-ke kuyamangalisa ukuthi izinkulungwane zamantombazane amahle azizwa zizilahlekile ngokuphelele!
Ngokuvamile abanye abantu babonakala ngathi uma beqhathanisa nabo ngokwabo baphumelele kuphela ngoba bafuna ngentshiseko ukusiqinisekisa ngalokhu. Futhi banakho, ngokusemthethweni, okuhle kakhulu. Ukuze uzibikezele, umngane wakho angaphakamisa kakhulu lokho akufezile. Uzozama konke okusemandleni akhe ukubheka emehlweni akho injabulo kunokuba kunjalo. Futhi ungamsoli ngalokhu. Phela, abesifazane abaningi, ngokwezazi ze-psychologists, benza ngokungazi lutho, okungukuthi, hhayi ngenhloso. Futhi konke ngoba isifiso sokuzithobela ngokukhanyayo sibeka esimweni semvelo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kuthinteka nokuvinjelwa okushiwo ukukhuliswa kukaMama ukukhipha indlu.
Lapho isiguli esivamile sifike kudokotela wezokwelapha owaziwayo futhi wathi emisebenzini yakhe wayengasadingeki: waphulukiswa ngengozi. Esikhathini sezinhlelo zangaphambilini zengqondo, owesifazane onenkinga yokukhathazeka ebusweni bakhe wakhononda ngokuthi ngenxa yokushisa kaningi yendodana yakhe encane, kwakudingeka ashiye umsebenzi nokuthi impilo yakhe ibonakala ingaphumeleli. Ngesikhathi esifanayo wayenqotshwa umona omnyama lapho ebheka umndeni womakhelwane ojabulayo owayesanda kuthuthela ekhaya. Umama ohloswe kahle, okhungathekileko, ubaba ohloniphekile, indodakazi enomomothekayo nenomusa ... Bonke laba bantu babukeka behlelekile kangangokuthi bavusa owesifazane umqondo wokungaqiniseki ukuthula nenjabulo yabo. Kodwa wamangala kangakanani, lapho ephuma emtholampilo wezingane wangena ngengozi ukuthi kulo mndeni ojabulayo kunomntwana omncane olele embhedeni ngesifo esingelapheki. Futhi lona wesifazane ngokushesha waba namahloni ngaye, ngokuvamile, ukuphila okuchuma.
Izazi zengqondo ziyazi esinye isizathu esenza abaningi bethu bazama ukuziqhathanisa nathi thina nabanye, ukuqhathanisa impumelelo yethu nabanye. Ukunciphisa ukuzethemba komuntu kuwele, kunamandla okuziqhathanisa nomuntu. Futhi cishe kungenzeka ukuthi uzokwenza ukuphila kwabanye kube kuhle. Kunesimo esibucayi: naphezu kokuthi lo muntu akakwazi ngokuphelele ukuhlola amandla akhe, kodwa kubonakala sengathi unamandla okuhlola ngokulinganayo amathuba abanye.
Ngokuyinhloko impilo engenamphefumulo yabangane nabantu ababajwayele ibonakala ngalezo zikhathi lapho impilo yethu ingahlali ngendlela engcono kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, isiguli esisodwa sanikeza isibonelo esicacile: kungenxa yokugula ingane yakhe encane, njengoba nje eqala ukuzwa ukuthi izingane zabangani bakhe zivele zikhukhumeze ngempilo. Futhi uma omdala ehola amabili esikoleni ukuze aphuze, khona-ke izindaba zomngane wakhe mayelana nempumelelo yengane yakhe e-Olympic ngezibalo zibonwa njengesikhwama sosawoti esilonda.
Ungaphelelwa ithemba!
Uma kwenzeka ukuthi uzwele imizwa esanda kukhulunywa, ngokushesha qala ukuzikhandla ukuze uziqede. Lokhu kuzoba lula kuwe, ngokushesha uma uqonda uhlobo lwamava akho. Futhi kubalulekile ukuqeda, ngoba ukuziqhathanisa ngokwakho nabanye kungabangela ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka njalo, umuzwa wokuzijabulisa okungenakuqondakala. Futhi lapho - ukuphonsa itshe nokushintshwa kwezinto eziphilayo ezempilo. Khona-ke, kuphi ukuthola amandla ezenzo ezinhle!
Uma kuze kube yamuva ujabule kakhulu kuwe futhi ngemva kokuhlangana nomuntu kungazelelwe wadideka futhi waqala ukungabaza ekuzihloleni kwakho kwangaphambilini, uzikhumbuze kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka: wena ngokwakho ukhethe le ndlela yokuphila ngokuqaphelayo nangokwakho inkululeko yokuzikhethela. Ngakho, lihambisana nezifiso zakho nomlingiswa. Futhi namanje azi ukuthi uzozizwa kanjani kuzicathulo zomunye umuntu.
Kukhona iphuzu elilodwa elibaluleke kakhulu elingenakuphuthelwa uma ufuna ukuhlala ngokuthula kwengqondo nangokuvumelana nawe. Yazi ukuthi akekho umuntu onjalo owake wazalwa onenhlanhla kukho konke. Futhi ngisho nalapho uxhumana nomngani wakho ongenakuqhathanisa, khumbula: ukutshela kuphela ngalokho acabanga ukuthi kufanele wazi. Futhi hhayi izwi ngaphezulu! Futhi okwamanje, uhlulela impilo yomngane emifanekisweni enhle kunazo zonke azithandayo, futhi wena naively ukholelwa ukuthi konke kunjalo ngempela. Kuwe kuzoba usizo kakhulu, uma ulalele indaba yokuphumelela kwakhe, ukuhlukanisa konke ngo-10.
Ungakhohlwa ukuthi noma yikuphi ukuphila, kuhlanganise neyakho, kuluhlu lwezingqinamba nezindlala. Futhi uma okwamanje akuyona inkathi enhle kunazo zonke yokuphila, kanti intombi, ngokuphambene nalokho, konke kuhambisane nalokho, yilokho okungahambi kahle okudala umuzwa wokungabi nalutho. Kodwa gcina engqondweni yeqiniso elilodwa elingenakuphikwa. Ukuthi ngemva kwesikhathi uzodlulisela izindawo ngazo. Futhi-ke yena, uma eqhathanisa impilo yakhe neyakho, uzokuzwa ukuwa okuphelele.
Uma, ngombono wakho, into ethile ingahambi kahle, hlaziya ngokucophelela isimo. Bheka izinto ezinhle kulo futhi ucabange kuphela. Ekugcineni, khalaza ngokuphila komuntu osondelene nawe. Ngomzamo wokukududuza, yena ngokwakhe uzokukhombisa izinzuzo ezibonakalayo zobuntu bakho. Futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ujabule futhi ngomngane, manje ulungile. Noma yimuphi umuntu ovamile uzizwa ekhululekile lapho abantu abasondelene naye benelisekile ngempilo yabo - abazange bamhlophe, abakhononda. Ngemuva kwalokho, ukukhuluma nabantu abajabulayo kusho ukuthola umthamo onempilo kubo.
Ungalahlekelwa inketho eguqukayo. Kungenzeka ukuthi umngane wakho, njengowe, uqhathanisa impilo yakhe neyakho. Mhlawumbe naye, ucabanga ukuthi ungumuntu ophumelelayo futhi ophumelelayo. Ngakho-ke, kuyadingeka yini ukuthi ngikubone lokhu uma kuqhathaniswa nami kanye nabanye?