Kule ncwadi, sifuna ukuthinta kwengqondo jikelele yobudlelwano phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane, ukuhlazeka ngokujwayelekile. Lena yinkinga yomphakathi wethu, ngamunye wethu angabhekana nayo.
Izinhlobo zokuhlazeka phezu kowesifazane .
Ukuhlambalaza luhlobo ludlame olubandakanya ukuhlambalaza okuthinta isithunzi somuntu, ukuvinjelwa ngendlela yokuphila evamile (umsebenzi, ukuxhumana nabantu nabanjalo), ukucindezeleka kwezezimali, ukwesatshiswa nokucindezelwa kokuziphatha kumuntu. Ngeshwa, ngalezi zenzakalo zonke izinhlobo zomphakathi zabantu zihamba, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yiliphi izinga lemali engenayo noma isimo emphakathini.
Isifanekiso sesisulu esihlazekile .
Abesifazane abahlala behlazeka, kaningi babe nokuzethemba okuphansi kakhulu, kukhona okucabangelayo, abangenasiphelo nokungaphephile. Owesifazane onjalo njalo uzama ukuziphendulela, njalo uzizwa enecala. Futhi yikuphi okubi kakhulu, abesifazane abaningi abazithola besesimweni esinjalo bavame ukukholelwa ukuthi akekho ongabasiza, futhi bona ngokwabo bathatha ukuhlazeka njengesijeziso salokho okuthiwa "ukunganaki". Futhi ngokujwayelekile, lona wesifazane uqala ukucabanga ngendima ehlambalaza yezocansi ezibuthakathaka hhayi kuphela emndenini ophakathi kwendoda nowesifazane, kodwa nasemphakathini wonke.
Isithombe somuntu okwazi ukuhlazisa owesifazane .
Lokhu kuvamise ukuba umuntu - umhlukumezi, owathi, kusukela ebuntwaneni, yena uqobo wahlaziswa ngokuphindaphindiwe. Lo muntu ubhekene nokuzithoba okuphansi (ngakho uzama ukuphakamisa), unezinkinga eziningi, uhlale ekhululekile ukusola umuntu nganoma yisiphi isimo. Kwenzeka ukuthi abantu abanjalo bahlaziswa ngokungazi ngokuphelele. Ngesidlangalaleni, la madoda, njengombuso, ekumaweni okuhle nokuthi aziphatha kanjani yena nomkakhe, bambalwa kakhulu abantu abakwaziyo. Umfana onjalo uhlala ekhululekile ukucela intethelelo ngemuva kwesenzo futhi, ngaleyo ndlela, angene kalula ku-trust. Lena ingqondo yebudlelwane phakathi kohlukumezi wesilisa nesisulu sezisulu. Kungenxa yalesi sizathu ukuthi abesifazane abaningi, ukuthethelela umyeni wabo, baphinde "bahambisane nesigwebo esifanayo".
Ukuziqhenya kanye nezimbangela zesisebenzi .
Isici esijwayelekile somqondo onjengokuthi "ukuhlazeka emndenini" sithatha isisekelo esingokomqondo esiyinkimbinkimbi ebuhlotsheni bomyeni nomkakhe. Ukuhlushwa, njengokubonakaliswa okucacile kobudlova, kungavela kunoma imuphi umndeni, futhi lokhu ngeke neze kuxhomeke esimweni saso senhlalakahle. Izisulu zalesi simo zivame ukuba ngabesifazane ngokwabo, abasesimweni sokuqala bavumele lo muntu ukuba aziphathe ngale ndlela. Futhi lokhu yisikhathi lapho ungakwazi ukugwema ubuhlobo obunjalo. Kodwa uma usuvele usuvume lesi simo sengqondo kuwe, awukwenzeki ilungelo lomuntu ukuziphatha ngale ndlela.
I-psychology yabesifazane abaningi iklanyelwe ngendlela yokuthi ihlose ukuthula iminyaka eminingi ngakho konke okwenzeka kubo ngaphandle kokukhipha "udoti kusuka endlini." Muntu, lokhu "ukuthula" kubonakala njengombonakaliso wokuvumela futhi isiqinisekiso sokuthi lo wesifazane uzokhuthazelela konke futhi aphinde amthethelele. Kodwa, njengoba wazi, ubuhlobo obunjalo phakathi kwabantu abuholeli okuhle. Kulesi simo, isixazululo esihle kakhulu sokuhlukanisa izindlela, kodwa abesifazane bavame ukuthethelela "abathembekile" babo ngokuphindaphindiwe. Futhi konke lokhu, njengoba kwengqondo ithi, ngenxa yokwesaba okukhulu kwendodakazikazi ukuhlala yedwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuxhomekeka ngokwezimali kumuntu, inkinga yezindlu kanye nezingane, lapho ukuhlukaniswa kwabazali kungathinteka khona, kuvela. Futhi lapha ungabheka ngokuphepha uthando nothando lomuntu kumuntu. Phakathi kwezinye izinto, ukungavikeleki kwalowo wesifazane kuye kuholela enhliziyweni yomuzwa wecala phambi komuntu futhi ukuziphatha kwakhe kuthathwa njengokufanelekile.
Indlela yokubhekana nokuhlazeka emndenini ?
Kanjani, emva kwakho konke, ukunqoba ukuthotshiswa emndenini, uma wesaba ukuthi, uma utshela ngezinkinga zakho, bazokucabangela wena umuntu obuthakathaka? Kuhlale kudingeke ukhumbule ukuthi umuntu ohlambalaza owesifazane (kungaba emphakathini noma emndenini) akuyona indoda. Okokuqala, umuntu onjalo akanakuzilawula, futhi unenkinga eminingi yengqondo. Ngaphandle kokubuka emuva, phonsa umuntu onjalo. Yebo, uma usafuna ukugcina ubuhlobo phakathi kwakho, kuzomele uzame ukukhuluma nendoda bese uyichazela ukuthi uyiphutha. Kumele futhi ugweme zonke izimo ezingamenza ahlazise. Khumbula ukuthi ngaphansi kwalezi zimo wena ungumlondolozi wakho wokuzivikela. Buza isazi sezengqondo noma, kangcono, hamba nomngane wakho ukuze umbone. Funda amabhuku on "psychology nokuhlazeka" futhi ufunde ukulawula isimo ngosizo lwabo. Ngendlela, kunezincwadi eziningi ezinjalo futhi zithwala ulwazi olubaluleke kakhulu nolwazile.
Yebo, uma usufike esinqumweni okufanele uhlanganyele, ungafaka isicelo ezinsizakalweni ezikhethekile zokuthembela, lapho uzokwazi ukunikeza iseluleko esibalulekile ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani lokhu okungenabuhlungu kuwe. Ungalokothi usongele umuntu owamphonsa. Lokhu ungamvusa ukuba enze izinyathelo ezingaphezulu. Tshela umndeni wakho ngalokhu, okumele ngokuqinisekile ukukusekele futhi kukuvikele kulo mzuzwana.
Khumbula ukuthi ukuhlazeka kungenye yezinhlobo zobudlova. Ngakho-ke, konke ukuphikisana, ukuziphatha, ukuziphatha kanye nokuhlambalaza akufanele kukusongele futhi kukushayele "ekhoneni eliyimpumputhe". Phela, ukuhlazeka ngamazwi kungashintsha njalo, futhi lokhu kubi kakhulu. Ngakho-ke ungaqhubeki kulokho okweqile futhi njalo uhlale owesifazane oqinile futhi onamandla othanda impilo yakhe, ukulungele ukunqoba konke nokushintsha impilo yakhe ngokuphelele.