Mhlawumbe, "umama wesigqila" - elinye lamagama asabekayo kakhulu olimini lwesiRashiya. Kulokho konke: izindaba ezesabekayo ezilandelwayo zaseRussia (hhayi nje kuphela), kanye nezinkolelo zendabuko ezingabonakali, futhi ekugcineni, ukwesaba kwengane ehlala kithi ngamunye, ukuhlala ngaphandle komuntu othandekayo futhi othandekayo kakhulu emhlabeni - ngaphandle komama. Mayelana nokuthi kufanele kanjani nokuthi ubudlelwane bomama wesimama, unina womama nabantwana, nokuthi bangenza kanjani lobu buhlobo buvumelane, funda ngezansi.
Ukuzindla ngobunzima nokuphazamiseka kokuphila "nomama wesibili", ngokuyinhloko ukucabangela imizwa yengane, umzukulu noma umzukulu. Kodwa mayelana nokukhathazeka kangakanani kumama wesisu, ngesizathu esithile bacabanga kakhulu kaningi. Phakathi naleso sikhathi, naye unenkinga enkulu. Ikakhulukazi uma umama wesifazane engafani nhlobo nomlingiswa wezinganekwane, kodwa kunalokho ufuna ukuhlala ngokuthula, othandweni nokuvumelanisa hhayi kuphela nomyeni wakhe omusha, kodwa kanye nezingane zakhe.
Kungacatshangwa ukuthi uma abanikazi bokubeletha abangase bakwazi ukucabanga ngokucacile lokho ababekulindele empeleni, inamba yemishado ephindaphindiwe yamadoda yayizoncishiswa ngomyalelo wokuphakama. Kodwa, ngenhlanhla noma ngeshwa, abesifazane abaningi abancane ngisho nabesifazane abadala abadala, ngenkathi belungiselela umshado, bakhetha ukuzithulisa ngokwethemba okungaxhaswa "kobuqili" nangokuthi "ububele" bezinsizakalo nezindlela zokuhamba, kanye namathalenta ediplomate, othisha nomntwana wengqondo . Ngidinga yini ukuthi ukukhiya umoya kuqhuma ngokushesha ngemva kokudla komshado? Kodwa lokhu akuyona into embi kakhulu. Kuyinto engathandeki nakakhulu ukuthi owesifazane wakhohlisile ekulindeni kwakhe, njengomthetho, uthukuthela izingane, uzama ukuzibuyisela ngemali efanayo, futhi esikhundleni sokuzama ukuqala ubudlelwane, uvula ukulwa ngokugcwele. Yikuphi, okuyiqiniso, okuqeda zonke izinkolelo zokwakha umndeni ovamile nalaba bantwana, kanye noyise. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, labo besifazane abangomama abazayo, abangesabi ukubuka isithombe sangempela, ukuphatha ukuba babe abantwana abamukelwayo, uma kungenjalo umama wesibili, okungenani ungumngane weqiniso.
Ngaphambi kokungena kumuntu ongaziwayo (yebo, indlu yomyeni wakho wesikhathi esizayo kusekhona omunye umuntu, njengomndeni wakhe kanye nezingane zakhe), khumbula izwi mayelana ne-charter kanye nezindela. Kukhunjulwa? Ngakho-ke ungakhohlwa, ngoba okokuqala ngemuva kokuqala kokuphila okuhlangene, kuzodingeka uqondise zonke izenzo zakho, izenzo kanye nezifiso nazo. Futhi ukuhlala kwakulula kakhulu, zama ukuphula imithetho emithathu eyisisekelo.
Ukubusa eyodwa: konke okufanayo, konke kuzohluka.
Yebo, ungathola izithombe ezingavamile zokuphila komndeni ojabulisayo, ucabange ukuthi bobabili benu (abane kithi, abahlanu) bazofunda ngokuzwakalayo, noma badle ndawonye, noma bahole izingxoxo eside ngaphambi kokulala, noma badlale ndawonye emaqhweni e-snowball ukuhlobisa isihlahla sikaKhisimusi - ngokusemthethweni kuzoqhubeka okuphambene nalokho. Isidlo kulo mndeni sisetshenziselwa uma sithanda (futhi ungakhohlwa ukuthi awufiki endaweni engenalutho elinde nje ukuthi ilungiselelwe, kodwa kumndeni osevele usukhona), akekho othanda ukufunda, futhi umuthi awufakwanga nhlobo. Into engcono kunazo zonke ukuthi umama wesifazane ongashadile angakwenza kule simo ukwamukela imithetho ebekwe kule ndlu. Njengoba, ngokuqondile, unikezwa zonke izivakashi ezifunde kahle. Yebo, usengumvakashi, naphezu kwendandatho eminwe, isitembu epasipoti kanye nendawo yobudala phakathi kwakho nezingane. Futhi umnakekeli noma okungenani ilungu eligcwele lomndeni ngeke lize libe yilo lonke amalungu omndeni akubona ukuthi unjalo. Ngokwabo futhi ngokuzithandela.
Imithetho emibili: akukho ukuguquka.
Yebo, mhlawumbe imiyalo endlini yakho ekhethiwe ingaphandle kwakho. Mhlawumbe kubonakala kuwe ukuthi abantu abavamile abakwazi ukuhlala kudoti, ukungahleleki nokuvunywa. Mhlawumbe nawe wazi kahle ukuthi ungayenza kanjani, ukuze wonke umuntu azizwe kangcono. Okukhulu. Ngithemba ukuthi ngeke uze engqondweni ukuqala ukulungiswa okusheshayo ngendlela evamile yokucabanga ngaphansi kwesiqubulo esithi: "Hhayi, manje sizophila!". Kulokhu, ingozi enkulu yangempela izongena ebuhlotsheni obuvamile bobaba besilisa, omama nabantwana.
Umuntu akathandi futhi wesaba ukushintsha. Ikakhulukazi hhayi ekuthandeni kwakhe, izinguquko zivele ngokuzumayo, ezinonya. Kodwa akanayo lutho ngokumelene nentuthuko. Kuncike ekutheni angene ekuphileni ngokuhlakanipha, kancane kancane. Uyakuqonda lokho esikhuluma ngakho? Kakade ngokubukeka kwakho usushintshile impilo yomndeni. Futhi wonke umuntu ongena kuwo kuzodingeka ajwayele ukugcwaliswa kokuphila okusha. Banike isikhathi, ungasheshi. Akekho obizayo ukushiya izinhlelo zabo kuze kube phakade - nje uzihlanganisa kancane. Kungcono uma uvumela izinguquko endlini kanye nobuhlobo bukhula kancane kancane, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Vumela indima yakho eqondile kuyo ibe ubuncane, okungenani ngaphandle. Ngakho uzokwazi ukugwema ukumelana okusebenzayo, okungokwemvelo kubantu ababona into entsha.
Isigaba sesithathu: ubuhlobo kuqala!
Ngokuvamile kuvela ngale ndlela: umama wesithathu akabi ngoba into idinga ingane, kodwa ngoba iyayidinga ngemva komshado, kusukela emnyango. Ufikile emndenini omusha futhi ngokushesha uthole umthwalo wemithwalo yemfanelo: kusukela manje usubophezele ukunakekela umyeni nengane yakhe, ngenhlalakahle yabo, impilo, nentuthuko. Kungaba okunengqondo ukucabanga ukuthi ngesikhathi esifanayo nemisebenzi ozonikezwa amalungelo. Kunengqondo, kodwa, maye, akulungile. Akekho ingane noma umyeni olungele ukunikeza ilungelo kanye nethuba lokujezisa, ukuhlambalaza. Futhi lokhu, ngokuvamile, akumangalisi: amalungelo anikezwa kuphela kulabo abathandekayo nokuthi igunya labo liyabonakala. Ayikho enye noma enye ayitholakali ngokuzenzakalelayo, ibonisa ingane isitembu epasipoti. Ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi kowesilisa wesilisa, wesifazane nomama kufanele kutholwe.
Futhi ngenxa yokuthi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi wanciphisa kanjani izandla zakho ukuze uthathe ingane noma umzala, zama uzame. Ekugcineni, ngaphambi kokuba ungesilwane hhayi isilwane, kodwa umuntu ophilayo, ozimele futhi unikwe wonke amalungelo. Ekuqaleni, umndeni udinga ukuzama ukunakekelwa kakhudlwana ubudlelwane bakho nezihlobo ezincane ezintsha, futhi ukhulume ngezinzuzo kanye nokulimala kwezijeziso kanye nezidingo zenze kube ngcono ngakwesokunxele kumyeni. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi noma yikuphi umsebenzi onzima owenziwa ngunina wesifazane, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kulungile kangakanani, kungabangela ukucasula izingane futhi kubenze bangabaza uyise. Kodwa ungahambi nakwezinye izinto: ungazami ukunqoba ukuthanda komntwana, ukumkhahlela futhi uzinikele kukho konke. Esimweni esihle kunazo zonke, uhlekisiwe, ngokubi kakhulu uzohlala entanyeni yakho, kangangokuba ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngosizo lomyeni wakho ngeke ususe!
Indlela yokuxhumana naye manje?
Yebo, lowo omunye umsebenzi! U-Stephens no-stepdaughters, ngokuvamile abangaqapheli, bayakwazi ukuguqula impilo yomama wengane ibe esihogweni sangempela. Ngenhlanhla, uma owesifazane eqonda ukuthi kungani izingane ziziphatha ngale ndlela, futhi kungenjalo, kulula kakhulu ukuba akwazi ukubhekana nombi.
Ingane njalo idinga ukunakwa kukapapa. Ngempela, kubonakala sengathi ngaphandle kopapa, le kid nezinyathelo azikwazi ukubeka unyawo: ekuseni ufuna uyise ukuba amyise enkulisa, kusihlwa kuphela kuye ukulungele ukuthatha inganekwane, futhi ngezimpelasonto uzama ukunakekelwa upapa ngokungapheli. Ungakwazi ngisho nokwesaba ukuthi kwakungekho lapho ngaphambili futhi onenjongo yangempela ukuheha uyise.
Akukho lutho olumangalisayo kulokhu kuziphatha. Ezinganeni ezilahlekelwe omunye wabazali bazo, eqinisweni kukhona ukwesaba - ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando lomzali wesibili. Bajwayele ukuzizwa bengavunyelwe ukuvikeleka kunemindeni "ejwayelekile" ephelele. Akumangazi ukuthi ekubukeni kwakho bavame ukubhekisela, ngokuqondene nokuvela komncintiswaneni osongela ukuthatha indawo yakhe njengesilwane. Lokhu kuboniswa ngokucacile emindenini lapho ubaba nomntanakhe bekufanele baphile isikhathi eside bodwa, okusho ukuthi umntwana uzizwa eyedwa kuphela owathandwa futhi obaluleke kakhulu kuphase.
Yini okufanele ngiyenze? Okokuqala, ungagqugquzeli nomntwana ngothando lomuntu. Okwesibili, ungaphoqeleli izenzakalo. Uma uziphatha ngokufanele, ngokushesha noma kamuva ingane iyoqonda ukuthi ayikho into yokwesaba futhi izolahla. Okwesithathu, ungahlali kude. Yebo, yebo, uma nje ubheka ohlangothini lokuthi indlela yokuqhaqhazela ndawonye ubaba nendodana noma indodakazi, ubungozi obungapheli uhlala kuphela umbukeli. Uzodinga ukuqoqa konke ukuzithiba kwakho (hhayi ukuqala i-warpath ngothando lwenhloko yomndeni), umqondo wokulinganisa (ukungabonakali ukuthi ingane iyamcindezela) nokuhlakanipha (ukuthola imisebenzi enjengokuthi ingane idinge, futhi ongayibhekana nayo kangcono kunoyise) . Yini okufanele uyenze ngokuqondile? Kudingeka ukhethe, ubheke isimo samanje. Into esemqoka ukuvumela ingane ukuba izwe ukuthi ayizange ilahlekelwe, kodwa ithengile.
Ingane ihlale ifanisa umama nonina. Lokhu kuyinkimbinkimbi kunabo bonke ebuhlotsheni bomama wesithathu, omama nabantwana. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ingelosi yakho isineke kangakanani, ayikwazi ukuma uma utshelwe izikhathi eziyikhulu ngosuku ukuthi "Umama upheka lokhu okumnandi kwekhukhi", "futhi umama akazange akhulume kanjalo," futhi, ekugcineni, "umama uyena kuhle. " Kanjani lapha ukungaphuli? Yebo, kulula kakhulu: khumbula isisho esidala esithi "konke okufundiswa uma kuqhathaniswa" - ngokuqinisekile uzozizwa ungcono. Emva kwakho konke, ingane kuqala njengomama ohlonishwa kahle (okuyinto, ngendlela, kwakungenxa yakhe kuphela igunya elingenamthetho), futhi kuphela wena. Ngakho-ke thatha lezi ziqhathaniso hhayi njengokuthuka, kodwa njengomzamo wokutshela ukuthi bangaki abantu abahlukene abakhona. Sekela isihloko bese ubuza ukuthi umama wangilungisa kanjani, kungani ethanda lokhu, njll. Uma usho izinto zasendlini, isibonelo, indlela yokupheka isidlo, ngakho akufaneleki ngezinye izikhathi ukuzwa iresiphi yomama. Ngokwenza lokhu, uzokwazi ukubonisa inhlonipho ngomama wengane, umqinisekise, ukuqinisekisile ukuthi awunomncintiswano noma isitha. Uma izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ezihlobene nemibono yakho emhlabeni zithinteka, kungcono ukwamukela ngokuthula ukuthi akubona bonke abahambisana nemibono enjengomama wengane. Chaza ukuthi abantu bahlukile futhi imibono yakho ihlukile. Phikisana nombono wakho mayelana nesimo somthetho. Uhlale unelungelo lokucabanga kanjalo. Nakuba ingane ivunyelwe ukukhetha iphuzu lakhe lokubheka, futhi kuzodingeka ukwenze lokhu ngenhlonipho nokuqonda.