Isimo siphuthumayo futhi siqaphela ukuthi inkosikazi ifikile kuyo yonke into ilungile, ngoba kwakungadingeki ukuba aqashe isitorethi nendoda ngesikhathi bobabili bengabafundi, bephuthelwa isiteji samasokisi e-darn ngenkathi umyeni wakhe ethola ipenny, akenzanga isicwangu sokusebenza ngesikhathi othandekayo wayenayo imali eyanele yokudla kwasemini egumbini lokudlela noma cafe. Wafika nendoda eyayikhuliswe umyeni wayo iminyaka eminingi. Futhi uma engakwenzi, wathatha umzamo wokuqeda ubuhlobo obuhle.
Ekuboneni kuqala, owesifazane onjalo ufanelwe ukulahlwa. Kodwa-ke uyajabula futhi wanelisekile ngesimo? Futhi kuyafaneleka yini ukucabanga ukuthi ngemva kokufeza umgomo walo, ingabe yathola lokho okufanelwe ngempela? Mhlawumbe akufanele agwetshwe, futhi owesifazane onjalo unelungelo lokuzwelana?
Akekho ozophikisana ngokuthi imikhosi yomndeni kuphela iveza umuzwa wenjabulo owesifazane ngamunye adinga. Injabulo kufanele ibuye ibonakale ngokwayo ezintweni ezincane. Futhi lapha kuvela ukuthi akuyona inkosikazi ukuthi indoda izoxoxa ngempumelelo yendodana yakhe emincintiswaneni evamile, ngeke ihlanganyele injabulo nezinsizi zayo, ngeke kube nayo ukugubha uNyaka Omusha namanye amaholidi abalulekile.
Ungaba kanjani esimweni esinjalo nokuthi yini okufanele uyenze uma uzizwa ukuthi uthandana nommeli oshadile wesigamu-umuntu onamandla? Kunezinketho eziningana ezingenzeka, okuzoxoxwa kamuva.
Indoda enezintambo iyinhloko
Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi indoda ifihle emngceleni wakhe omusha ukuthi ishadile. Kodwa ngokushesha nje lapho ufunde iqiniso elibabayo, ungavumeli ubudlelwane bokuthuthukisa, ubenqume ekuhlungeni, ushiye umuntu onjalo nje indima yomngani noma osebenza nabo. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kulula ukukusho kunokwenza futhi akekho owesifazane oyedwa owile esicupheni esinjalo, ekholelwa ukuthi ukudlala ngothando noma isikhathi sobulili esisodwa ngeke kubasongele.
Kuyindlela engafanelekile eholela ezinkingeni ezinkulu: owesifazane uthandana nendoda eshadile, uyaqonda ukuthi imizwa yakhe ingokoqobo, kodwa ayikho ithemba lokuzithokozisa, kungabi yedwa ukwakha umndeni.
Ukuze ungangeni enetheni, kungcono ukuzikhethela ngokushesha ukuthi kunoma yikuphi, ngisho nemidlalo engenabungozi ayihileleki. Uma ungeke ukwazi ukuzivimbela uma ubona othandekayo, kungcono ukugwema izimo ezinjalo lapho izindlela zakho zihamba khona. Futhi-ke, ayikho i-lask, izinyembezi nokunye ukuzwela. Ekuqaleni lesi sinqumo senziwe, ngokushesha kuzoba ukuqeda ukuthembela.
Siphuma esitimeleni esigijimayo
Uhileleke ebuhlotsheni ne "zhenatik", babengazi ukuthi nakuba ngezinye izikhathi ujabulela, nokho ukuqaphela ukuthi isimo sezenzo ezingaguquki zicindezela. Ucwaningo oluqhutshwa izazi ze-psychologists lubonise ukuthi izinyanga ezimbili kuya kwezintathu zanele ukunquma indoda futhi zithole ukuthi ukulungele yini ukushiya umndeni. Uma uqonda ukuthi umthandi unelisekile ngesimo lapho unomfazi nomthandi wakhe, ngoba izinyanga ezimbalwa ezinikezwe zona, ngeke nje ube nesikhathi sokunamathela kumuntu, ukuthi ikhefu lizoletha ubuncane bokuhlupheka.
Amadoda ahlukene kakhulu kulokhu: balungele ngesikhathi somhlangano wokuqala ukuzikhethela bona, owesifazane angaba ngumfazi esikhathini esizayo. Umsebenzi wenkosikazi efanayo kulesi simo ukuhlukanisa izinhloso zalowo muntu.
Ukuzivocavoca kubonisa ukuthi uma ungakakulungeli ukusebenzisa yonke impilo yakho kulabo abahlukumezayo, kuyoba buhlungu kakhulu ukubuthana kanye ngamandla bese uyeka ubudlelwane obuye buthaka kakhulu. Ngezinye izikhathi kuzodingeka kube nzima ngokwanele, ngoba ngezinye izikhathi amadoda afuni nje ukuyeka futhi alungele ukulwa nomthandi omuhle.
Uyakuthanda? Ukulwa!
Abesifazane abakholelwa ngokuqinile ukuthi umlingani womthandi uhlezi ngumfazi we-mugger, ukuthi sekuyisikhathi eside ekhohliwe ukuthi ubulili bunjani nomkakhe, ukuthi izingane ziphikisana naye kodwa umfazi akamvumeli ukuba ahambe, kodwa ngenxa yesehlukaniso kuzodingeka ukhokhe yonke impahla, into yokuqala okudingeka uyiqaphele, ukuthi lo muntu, cishe, uqamba amanga. Uma usulungele ukubekezela, ungaqala ukulwa nenjabulo yakho.
Izazi zengqondo kuleli cala zincoma ukuba zingabi nethemba kakhulu ngomphumela omuhle, kodwa labo abafisa ukujoyina impi kulabo abathandayo bazokwazi ukudala umkhathi okhululekile kakhulu endlini, bajabule ngesifiso esincane kakhulu somuntu ukuze okungenani basize ngandlela-thile, bamukele ngokwazisa ngisho nezipho ezincane ezifana nebhokisi le-banal lamaswidi. Kuyafaneleka futhi ukugwema noma yikuphi ukukhuluma ngomlingani osemthethweni, ngakho-ke akanaso isifiso sokulingana nawe. Kufanele ujeziswe embhedeni. Futhi ekugcineni kuzodingeka udlale isici lapho, ngokuphula ngokudabukisayo izandla zakho, uzobeka phambili u-ultimatum oyintandokazi yakho: woza nezinto zeviki noma ngaphezulu ungangeni nhlobo. Qonda ukuthi uma kwenzeka umphumela omuhle, uzoba umkakhe. Futhi yilokho okungahambisani nayo yonke inkosikazi.
Ukuthobeka futhi ukuthobeka futhi
Ukunquma ukuba ube yinkosikazi, kufanele uqaphele ngokucacile ukuthi kuphela ezindaweni ezizimele, amadoda axazululiwe ukushiya umndeni osemthethweni. Ngokuvamile inkosikazi, ishiye isimo sayo, ihlala isikhathi esiphezulu semisebenzi yesibili, ngoba ingxenye yengonyama yesikhathi sakhe, le ndoda ikhokha yonke imindeni efanayo futhi isebenza.
Ukuze balondoloze impilo yabo yengqondo, owesifazane ovumelene nendima yomthandi, kufanele akwazi ukugcwalisa isikhathi samahhala. Kubalulekile ukuthi empilweni yakhe kwakukhona umsebenzi othakazelisayo, abangane, abangane futhi, mhlawumbe, omunye umuntu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungalindeli indoda eshadile njengonkulunkulu, makenze imihlangano yakho nawe. Khumbula ukuthi abameleli bobulili obunamandla babheka owesifazane ongcono ukuba abe museum ohlala enjabulweni futhi akwazi ukuvuselela amandla abanye.
Kubuye kwenzeke nokuthi owesifazane ufanisa konke esimweni samanje. Ngokuvamile, abesifazane abashadile futhi banezingane, kodwa abafuni ukubopha ngezibopho zomndeni ngokuphindaphindiwe, qale abathandi. Kubo, umthandi ungumthombo wemimoya emihle, ukwesekwa kwezinto ezibonakalayo, kodwa akusekho.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwakunjani, uma ubuhlobo buba yisibopho esibuhlungu, yisikhathi sokubukeza futhi, mhlawumbe, ukuphula. Futhi ngokushesha lokhu kuvela kwegebe, kuzoba lula ukubhekana nesimo sokuphila esiyinkimbinkimbi.