Ngokwezibalo, isibonelo, e-United States naseCanada, izingane eziyizigidi ezingu-2 zihlushwa ngokushaywa unyaka ngamunye ngabazali bazo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngo-1/3 kuzo zonke izimo zodlame olunjalo ngokomzimba, izingane ziyasulwa. Njalo ngonyaka emhlabeni izinkulungwane zezingane ziyafa ezandleni zabazali bazo.
Izici zabazali abonisa ubuhlukumezi
Ngakho yini abazali abahlukumeza izingane zabo? Ngokuvamile laba bantu bangaphansi kwezimo ezicindezelayo noma babhekene nokuwa kwezinhlelo zabo zokuphila ezenziwe ngaphambilini. Izinkinga ezivame kakhulu ezivamile kulabo bazali ukucindezeleka njalo, imizwa yedwa, ukuhlukana emshadweni, ukungabi namsebenzi, ukuhlukunyezwa kwezinto zengqondo, ukudlulisa isehlukaniso, ubudlova basekhaya, ukudakwa, nokukhathazeka ngokuntuleka kwemali.
Abazali abaningi bayaqaphela ukuthi abaphatha kahle izingane zabo, kodwa abakwazi ukuziyeka. Abanye abazali abahlala behlukumeza izingane zabo, bebazonda ngenhlanhla noma bazizwe bebazonda. Ama-diapers angcolile abantwana, ekhala ekhala, izidingo zezingane zabo azibekezeleleki kubazali abanjalo. Umama ohlukumeza ingane yakhe ngesihluku, ukholelwa ukuthi ingane yakhe iyamkhathaza ngenhloso, yenza konke "kabi". Ngokuvamile abazali abaneziphambeko ezinjalo ekuphupheni kwengqondo ukuthi ingane ngokushesha ngemva kokuzalwa kwabo kuyobenza bajabule. Lapho ingane iqala ukuwadumaza ngokungazi, kulandela ukuphendula okunjalo okubulalayo.
Ukuhlukumeza kubazali kuyisisindo noma kungenhloso, ngokuqaphela noma engazi lutho. Ukuhlukunyezwa kwabazali, ngokusho kocwaningo, kwenzeka emindenini engu-45%. Kodwa-ke, uma sicabangela izinsongo, izinkomba, ukwesatshiswa nokuphalaza cishe cishe zonke izingane zivezwe okungenani ngezikhathi ezithile zokuhlukunyezwa kwabazali.
Phakathi kwezizathu eziyinhloko zokwaneliseka nezingane zabo - ukunganeliseki ngezifundo zabo - 59%. Babonga izingane zabo ngomsebenzi wesikole owenziwe kahle - 25% wabazali, futhi bahlaselwa futhi bebetha ngenxa yokungaphansi - 35%. Ngaphezu kwengxenye yesithathu yabo bonke abazali kumbuzo othi: "Ucabangani ingane yakho?" Banika izingane zabo izici ezinjalo: "okubi", "akuphumelelanga", "inhlanhla," "kubangela izinkinga eziningi," njll Embuzweni: "Kungani ukukhuluma ngomntanakho? "- abazali baphendula:" Siyamkhuphula kanje. Kumele azi iziphambeko zakhe. Menze konke okusemandleni akhe ukuze abe ngcono. "
Umjikelezo ononya wobudlova
Enhliziyweni cishe zonke izimo zokuxhashazwa kwezingane kuyisiyaluyalu esinokudlwengula esivela esizukulwaneni esisodwa kuya kwesinye. Cishe ingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu kubo bonke abazali abaphathwa kabi kusukela ebuntwaneni, badlulisela kabi izingane zabo kamuva. Omunye wesithathu wabo bonke abazali ababonisi isihluku kubantwana ekuphileni kwabo kwansuku zonke. Kodwa-ke, ngezinye izikhathi benza ngokuhlukumeza, besesimweni esicindezelayo. Abazali abanjalo abazange bafunde indlela yokuthanda izingane, indlela yokuzifundisa nendlela yokuxhumana nabo. Abaningi bezingane abahlukunyezwa abazali ngokuphila kwabo abadala baqala ukubonisa ubuhlukumeze kubantfwana babo.
Izinhloso kanye nezimbangela zobuhlukumezi zabazali
Izisusa eziyinhloko zokuhlukunyezwa kwabazali ezinganeni zabo - isifiso sokuthi "bafundise" (50%), ukuphindiselela ukuthi ingane ayihlangabezani nokulindela, icela okuthile, ihlale ifuna ukunakekelwa (30%). Ezingamaphesenti angu-10 zamacala ezinonya ezinganeni kuwukuphela kwayo - ukukhamuluka ngenxa yokumemeza, ukushaya ngenxa yokushaya.
Izimbangela ezivame kakhulu zokuhlukumeza emndenini yilokhu:
1. Imikhuba yokukhuliswa kwabazali bezinzalamizi. Isibambiso nokubetha iminyaka eminingi kubhekwa njengethuluzi elihle kakhulu (futhi kuphela) lezemfundo. Futhi hhayi kuphela emindenini, kodwa nasezikoleni. Ngikhumbula i-aphorism ewake yathandwa kakhulu: "Kunamakhekhe amaningi - iziwula ezimbalwa".
2. Inkolo yamanje yonya. Ukuguqula izinguquko zomphakathi nezomnotho emphakathini, ukubuyekezwa okusheshayo kwamagugu kuholela ekutheni abazali bavame ukuzithola besesimo sokucindezeleka. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, bathola inzondo ekubhekaneni nomuntu obuthakathaka futhi ongenakuzivikela-ingane. "Ukuphuma ekucindezelekeni" kuvamise kwenzeke ezinganeni, kaningi ezikoleni zasenkulisa nasezingane ezincane, abangaqondi ukuthi kungani abazali bethukuthele.
3. Izinga elincane lezomthetho nezenhlalo zomphakathi wanamuhla. Ingane lapha, njengomthetho, ayenzi njengesihloko, kodwa njengento yethonya. Yingakho abanye abazali befeza imigomo yabo yokufundisa ngobuhlungu, hhayi ngezinye izindlela.
Ukuvimbela ukuhlukunyezwa kubantwana
Namuhla, izinhlangano zezenhlalo eziningi ziye zasungulwa ukuze zihloniphe izingane ezishaywe noma ezinganakwa abazali babo. Kodwa-ke, ngisho "ukunakekelwa" ngokomthetho phezu kwezingane ezihlukunyezwayo ngokuvamile aziletha imiphumela efunayo. Inkantolo iyakwazi ukunquma ukuthi ithatha ukunakekelwa kwengane, noma abazali ngokwabo bayavuma ukuyibeka entandane. Ngezinye izikhathi ukunakekelwa kwengane entandane kungcono kakhulu kunekhaya. Kodwa-ke, kungenzeka ukuthi ukunakekelwa okunjalo kuzolimaza ingane. Kwezinye izimo, ingane ihlala ekhaya nabazali, kodwa labo, ngokulandela uhlelo olusebenzayo, bafundisa ikhono lokunakekela izingane, ukubhekana nokucindezeleka. Kungcono uma lezi zakhono zifundiswa izingane ezisencane esikoleni esiphakeme.
Ochwepheshe batusa ukuthi abazali abalingwa ukushaya ingane ekhalayo benze lokhu okulandelayo:
- Phuma ngokushesha ekamelweni bese ushayele umngane;
- Nika amandla umculo otholile;
- Hlalani phansi, nidabule ngokujulile, bese-ke ngemva kokumisa okwesikhashana ukuphefumula okungaphezulu;
- Ngena kwelinye igumbi wenze ezinye izindlela zokuzivocavoca;
- Thatha i-shower epholile;
- Hlala phansi, vala amehlo akho futhi ucabange ukuthi usezindaweni ezimnandi kuwe.
- Uma kungekho namasu okusiza, cela abaqeqeshiwe usizo.