Mhlawumbe, udinga ukuvumelanisa ngokushesha ngezwi. Kumbuzo othi "wami-ngingumfokazi" angasondelwa kusuka ezikhundleni ezehlukene: ezenhlalakahle, ezengqondo, ezenzweni zobulili. Singacabanga ukuthi wonke amadoda - umdwebo, ungaba "owokuqala" ucabange owakhe. Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi indoda ihlala nomunye, ihlangana (ngokuseduze) komunye, kodwa iyakuthanda okwesithathu ngempela. Ubani-ke?
Ubudlelwane
Ake sivume, emva kwakho konke, ukucabangela abantu abangabazi amadoda anesimamekazi esisemthethweni: umkakho, intombi, umakhelwane. Futhi ake sikhulume ngendlela yokubhekana nazo ezimweni ezahlukene. Okokuqala, futhi ngokushesha: lapho sihlangana ngendlela yethu "indoda engavamile", kudingeka senze izinqumo ngezifiso zethu kanye nezinhlelo zethu. Izazi zengqondo zisho lokho okwesifazane - kungamahora angu-6-10. Emva kwalezi zikhathi ezimbalwa esazi kakade (okungenani ejulile phansi) ukuthi uzoba nalo muntu othile, noma, okungenani, lokho akufunayo kuye. Kuhle kakhulu, ngoba, amadoda, isikhathi eside kakhulu nalokhu asikwazi ukunqunywa. Ngezinye izikhathi bathatha iminyaka ukubona ukuthi lo mhlangano wawuwuthandekayo, futhi lo wesifazane ulungele ukuphila konke ukuphila kwakhe. Ngakho, sithatha konke ezandleni zethu.
Okokuqala, cabanga ngezakhiwo ezimbalwa ezijwayelekile, lapho umuntu wesinye isizwe esithakazelisayo kithi, futhi thina ngokweqile asifuni ukuthatha konke ngaphandle kohlaka lobuhlobo be-platonic.
Isimo se-boss-ngaphansi (ubudlelwano obuxhomekile)
Ngokuvamile, abaphathi besilisa abaqaphele ngokungaqondakali ukuthi ingxenye yabesifazane iyinhlangano yabesifazane abangaba khona ("bonke bangami, lokho engikufunayo, ngizokuthatha futhi ngeke ngikuphike"). Indoda ingase ivimbelwe ukwesaba ukukhangiswa, ukusabela komkayo, abaphathi bakhe, noma ukungabi nentshisekelo kubesifazane besifazane ngokujwayelekile noma ikakhulukazi. Kodwa uma umphathi "imililo", kufanele uqaphele ikakhulukazi - ngoba, awufuni ukuyeka ngenxa yezifiso zakhe!
Isu: Uthando lwePlato
Akukho lutho olungcono esimweni esinjalo njengothando oluqotho, oluvulekile, oluhlanzekile lweziphathimandla (luzokwenza kube lula), ukubonakaliswa kwalo okulinganiselwe ukukhuliswa kwakho nezimo (umshado wakhe).
Amacebo: ukungaboni kahle, "kusho ukuthini ngempela"
Kuzodingeka udlale indima yomuntu oyisiphukuphuku, ongeke aqonde ukuthi yini le ndoda ehamba nayo (ezikhathini eziningi bayishiya lokhu kungenzeka, ngoba ngokujulile besaba kakhulu ukulahlwa futhi abafuni ukuthatha imithwalo yemfanelo ngisho nobuhlobo obuseduze). Uma uye wachaza ngokucacile konke, kuzodingeka ukuthi umangale, wring izandla zakho futhi wenze konke ngendlela yakho ongakwazi ngayo:
a) qala u-romance wenkonzo;
b) uqale ngomuntu oshadile.
Nakuba kulokhu abantu banokulingana okulinganayo, isimo esivela kulo akube lula nakancane. Phela, kubalulekile ukugcina ubuhlobo obuhle bebhizinisi, izimo ezakhayo eqenjini. Gcina ibanga othandweni noma othandana naye akulula kunomphathi.
Isu: gcizelela ukubaluleka kwalabo buhlobo obukhona kakade; basikisela ukuthi lokhu akufanelekile ingozi. Ngomunye usebenza naye noma umlingani webhizinisi kungcono ukuthi ungabi nabangane, kodwa nje ukuba ube abangane: ukuya esidlweni, ukuphuza ikhofi. Futhi-ke, ukusebenzisana ngokubambisana - ubuciko obumbene futhi kunikeza umuzwa wokusondelana, ngezinye izikhathi kubaluleke ngaphezu kokuxhumana kocansi.
Isimo: umngane osondelene nendoda ethandekayo
Isimo siyingozi kakhulu, ngoba lapha kuza kudlalwa ukuxabana kwamadoda kakade. Futhi ngandlela-thile kufanele uphenduke phakathi kwemililo emibili: akufanele uvuse izinsolo zomuntu othandekayo futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo njengowesifazane kumngane wakhe omkhulu, ngoba imvume yakhe noma ukulahlwa yindoda yakho ayinandaba.
Isu: ukuhlanganisa okulula, hhayi ukuphenduka ngothando.
Le ndlela yokuziphatha ivuselela umphefumulo, igxile ukuzihlonipha kwamadoda, futhi le mizwa emibili ingase ithathe isikhundla sengqondo engenziwanga.
Indoda ethandekayo yomngane wakhe othandekayo
Lokhu, mhlawumbe, yizimo ezingathandeki kakhulu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, wathandeka yize (unabesifazane abakhulu kakhulu - intombi yakho, futhi uyadonsela kuwe!) Ngakolunye uhlangothi - esongela ukubhubhisa hhayi nje ubuhlobo obubalulekile, kodwa ubuhlobo obubi kakhulu nomngane, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo nokuphila kwakhe. Futhi lapha kubalulekile hhayi nje kuphela, futhi hhayi ukumelana ngokufanele le ndoda futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo uhlale naye ebuhlotsheni obuhle (kuzodingeka ukhulume noma kunjalo), kodwa futhi ugcine konke okuyimfihlakalo, ukuze umuntu wesithathu engacabangi. Ngezinye izikhathi kunzima kakhulu, ngoba umfazi uyazi kahle. Kanti futhi ngoba kuyilingo ukumbonisa konke kuye ukuze azi ukuthi iyiphi inyoka emfudumise esifubeni. Ungenzi lokhu.
Isu: baphenduke abantu abafana nomqondo, shintsha "into" ebuhlotsheni obuseduze.
Ukulondoloza konke kungaba ubungane bangempela phakathi kwakho nendoda ethandekayo yentombi yakho. Kuhle kakhulu uma unesithakazelo esifanayo nomyeni wakhe. Lokhu kuzomenza akwazi ukujabulela ukuxhumana ngaphandle kokuwela imingcele. Ngendlela, ukusondelana kwangempela kule nguqulo kungokoqobo - wena, kahle, uzokuqonda, ngoba akusilo ukuthi nisondelene kakhulu nomfazi ofanayo.
Nokho, kunezimo, noma kunjalo, okuphambene nalokho: sithandana naye ekuqaleni, siqhaqhaqhazela, sithuthumela, futhi yena-isisebenzi esishadile, osebenza naye, umfowabo womngane, umakhelwane kuleli zwe - uyakha amehlo akhe, futhi akaqapheli ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala ngokwakhe . Isizathu salokhu sesivele sibophezele, sinamahloni. Yilapho umzuzwana ofika lapho kufanele siphinde sicabange ukuthi sizothatha indoda noma nje sithandane naye. Futhi kuphela uma udinga ngempela umuntu futhi, ngaphandle kwalokho, ukulungele ngaphakathi ngaphakathi ukubeka engozini isimo sakhe somshado, kufanele uthathe izindlela ezilandelayo zokuqhuba "impi".
Uma ubuhlobo emndenini buhle kakhulu, uma konke kulungile futhi kuzinzile kulezi zimbhangqwana, lo muntu ngeke ashiye umkakhe noma kuphi, futhi, cishe, ngeke abe engozini yokungena ebuhlotsheni obunzima nawe. Ngakho-ke, ngakolunye uhlangothi, awukwazi ukuhlupheka ngenxa yokuzisola futhi ungacabangi ukuthi uzama ukwakha injabulo yakho enhlekeleleni yomunye umuntu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kufanele wazi ukuthi ubeka engozini kangakanani ukwenqatshwa. Ngakho, ukuqala, qondisisa, ngabe umshado wakhe unzima yini njengoba ufuna ukucabanga.
Muva nje, yilokho iqhinga elithandwa kakhulu ngabesifazane abangashadile: wakhetha, wambeka embhedeni, washada naye. Ngesikhathi esifanayo ngathenga izipho kimi (ezimweni ezimbi kakhulu - ngimdonsa ngomkhono esitolo futhi ngigwaza ngomunwe wakhe: "Ngifuna le ndoda nge diamond nalesi sikhwama").
Akuwona wonke umuntu owuthandayo, kodwa isebenza kahle ngohlobo lwamadoda "inkunzi-on-rope", okudingeka ilawulwe owesifazane - ngokubanzi, cishe noma kunjalo.
"Bull on a string" kungaba wena ngendlela efanayo ukuhola kude - osemusha futhi enonya.
Sekuyisikhathi eside saziwa ukuthi lena yindlela engcono kakhulu yokuhlasela. Umlayezo oyinhloko: "O, ngingumuntu obuthakathaka futhi ngingenasici, ngidinga indoda enamandla eduze kwakhe ozovikela, ukusekela, ukusiza, kodwa hhayi yena." Ngempela, cha, cha, othandekayo? ". Ukuthi amandla ethu asebuthakathaka bethu, uShakespeare uthe kudala. Futhi siyamkholwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuphila kubonisa ukuthi ulungile.
Leli qhinga lisebenza cishe njalo, ngisho namadoda amancane - ngemuva kwakho konke, ngubani ongajabuli ukuzizwa eqine, cishe wonke amandla.
Uma nje kungenzeka, ungavumeli lo muntu aqonde ukuthi ufuna ngempela ukushada naye. Kumele aqale "ukuhileleka" enkulumweni yensindiso yakho yaphakade futhi uqonde ukuthi uzomane uphele ngaphandle kwakhe.
Lo mdlalo cishe uhlale unyawo olulinganayo . Kuyathakazelisa amadoda aqinile, azimele, ahlaziye amahlaya futhi ahambe, abathanda abanothando nabesifazane abaqinile.
Ngizosho ngesikhathi esisodwa - laba abamele ubulili obunamandla abukhulu. Futhi le ndlela yokunqoba indawo yayo yinkimbinkimbi kunayo yonke, idinga ukugcinwa njalo kwethembo, udinga ukuqapha sonke isikhathi. Uma ungazizwa amandla okudlala njalo, ungaqali ngisho nokuqala. Ukuphumelela kakhulu kuncike ekutheni umdlalo ukhulu kangakanani ukuhlukanisa intombi yakhe yamanje nokuthi ungakanani umdlali ongcono kunalokho.
Ungadluliselwa ngesifiso sokunqoba okuphelele, kufanele uhlale ubuthakathaka kancane, ulahlekelwe isikhathi sokugcina empini yangasese, ngaphandle kwalokho uzolahlekelwa yinkinga enkulu - uzovele ukwesabe amandla akho. Kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo akufanele abe nomuzwa wokuthi udlala naye ekunikezeni.
Kusukela ekubukeni komzimba - indoda "ingokwakhe" yowesifazane oxhumana naye ocansini ngokugcwele, okujabulisa futhi okwanelisayo. Owesifazane oxhumana njalo nendoda-kunoma yikuphi, umkakhe-kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kukhona isitembu epasipoti noma iqiniso lokusebenzisa ipulazi elihlangene komunye. Uma, ngaphezu kwalokho, azikho ubudlelwane bobulili nomfazi osemthethweni, noma kwenzeka ngokungajwayelekile futhi anganikeli ukwaneliseka, ngakho-ke, lokho, okunye, kubonakala kungukuphela kwowesifazane wangempela, umfazi wangempela. Uma umuntu ekhuluma ngombhede ngenye indlela ngenye indlela, ngokwemvelo - isithembu.
Abesifazane abashadile, bavame ukuphumula nokuzola - konke, umgomo ufezekile, "manje ungowami." Kodwa-ke, le ndoda, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yayithandana kangakanani nehhovisi lokubhalisa, ngemuva kokushada, futhi, libuyele emuva. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uqala ukukhuluma nomkakhe ngendlela engcono kakhulu njengesancinza (umuntu ohlanganyela naye endaweni yakho yokukhosela nokuphila), ekubi kakhulu - njengama-slippers akhululekile (noma angakhululekile). Ungakugwema lokhu kuphela ngenye indlela: akukho emicabangweni yakho nasemizweni yakho ayihumushi indoda yakho ethandekayo kwisigaba "somyeni". Futhi kudingeka sikhumbule: indoda isiphelela njalo owesifazane onamandla okuphendula ngokomzwelo, kuhlanganise embhedeni.