Obani omama abangashadile?
Emashumini ambalwa eminyaka edlule, ukhetho lokuzikhethela kowesifazane lokuba ngumama ongashadile kubonakala kungenangqondo. Manje akuvamile. Emadolobheni amakhulu lapho ukuphila kugeleza khona ngokuvumelana nemithetho yayo, lapho imingcele ephakathi kokuqala kwesilisa nowesifazane isula khona, abesifazane abaningi banquma ukuba nomntwana, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umlingani ofanelekile utholakala noma cha. Njengomthetho, laba bangabesifazane abadala abakwazi ukunikeza ingane hhayi uphahla kuphela emakhanda abo, kodwa futhi balungele ukuthwala imithwalo ephelele yokuphila kwabo. Laba besifazane abadingi ukusekela noma ukusekelwa kusuka kuhulumeni, bathembela kuphela kubo.
Esinye isigaba sabesifazane abavame ukuhlala bodwa nezingane kukhona amantombazane amancane abalethele abantwana kusenesikhathi, bengakulungeli. Ngokuvamile babeletha izingane ngaphandle komshado noma umshado usheshe uhlakazeke, njengoba abantwana bebengakulungiswa noma befisa bobabili abazali. Lokhu kwenzeka uma intombazane iqala ukuphila impilo yabantu abadala ngokushesha futhi ekuqaleni, kepha ayikwazi ukuthatha imithwalo yemfanelo ngokugcwele ngezenzo zakhe. Okuholela ekukhulelweni kokuqala.
Isigaba esivame kakhulu kunomama ongashadile, abashiywe yedwa ngemva kokuhlukaniswa. Ngeshwa, akekho okhungethwe izinkinga nokudumazeka. Lapho abantu bakha umndeni, bathemba okuhle, kodwa ngesikhathi abantu kanye namagugu abo ashintsha, abashadile abangekho endleleni. Akukhathaleki ukuthi ubani oqala igebe, nganoma yisiphi isizathu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ingane iyanqatshwa. Umama kufanele azithathele indima yabazali ekukhuliseni ingane.
Izinkinga
Omama abangashadile badinga usizo cishe njalo. Futhi akuyona nje ngemali, njengoba abesifazane abaningi besenalo ithuba lokuthola okwanele ukuzondla bona kanye nengane yabo. Izinkinga eziningi zilethwa ngumphakathi.
Okokuqala, ngokuvamile owesifazane okhulisa ingane eyedwa unomthwalo wemfanelo kabili kuye. Ngokunamandla noma ngokungahambisani nalokho, kodwa kunesidingo esinamandla kakhulu, kuze kube yilapho abantu bebukeka bebuzwa kunoma yikuphi ukuzama ukuhlela impilo yomuntu siqu, ukuvakashelwa kuthathwa njengokungaziphathi kahle, ukuhlukumeza ingane yengqondo, ngisho noma owesifazane eziphatha ngokuqinile emingceleni yobuhle. Kuvela ukuthi ilungelo lokuba nomuntu siqu futhi ujabule, umama ongayedwa ukhokha ngokulahlwa okuvulekile.
Okwesibili, owesifazane ubhekene nezimo eziningi abazali abathintekayo, okungeke kube nomthelela omuhle esimweni sakhe sengqondo. Ngezinye izikhathi lapho abesifazane abashadile bencike ekusizeni nasekusekeleni komyeni, omama abangashadile baphoqeleka ukuziphatha. Uma kungekho usizo olunjalo, abesifazane bavame ukuba ngabodwa, empilweni yabo kukhona okungekho indawo yento engaphandle kwengane nokusebenza.
Okwesithathu, akuyona imfihlo ukuthi omama abangashadile bahlushwa ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo kwabanye. Lokhu kubonakala ngezindlela ezahlukene. Izintombi ezishadile zibaphathisa ngokweqile, zivame ukulahla, ngoba emphakathini wethu ukholelwa kakhulu ukuthi umthwalo wokulondeka komndeni ulala nomfazi. Uma owesifazane engatholanga indoda noma embambe, khona-ke iphutha lengezwe kuye. Ngokuvamile kunezinkinga emsebenzini ohlobene nokunakekelwa esibhedlela ezinganeni, ngokuvamile kuvame ukuthi izihlobo zingeneli kahle ekukhuliseni ingane, zikholelwa ukuthi yedwa umama ngeke akwazi ukubhekana nalokhu.
Kunezinye izinkinga abesifazane abangabodwa abakwaziyo ngokuzwa. Kunzima kakhulu ukuchazela izingane ezikhulile, lapho ubaba wazo khona, kungani engahlali nabo.
Ukuxazulula izinkinga
Kubonakala sengathi akukho okulula - kwanele ukuthola umyeni omuhle nobaba kubantwana bakho ukuxazulula zonke izinkinga zomama abangashadile ngesikhathi esisodwa. Kodwa, okudabukisayo njengoba kungase kubonakale, uma izingane zingadingi uyise wazo, umalume womunye umuntu udinga ngisho nangaphansi. Owesifazane akahlale ekulungele ubuhlobo obunzima, kungukuthi kunzima ukucabanga ngomunye umuntu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, omama bakhathazekile ngokuthi ubuhlobo obuseduze kanjani nezingane zabo kanye nobaba wabo wesifazane bazokhula, ngoba kunoma yikuphi ukuphikisana kuzozizwa benecala. Abanye besifazane banenhlanhla, bahlangana nomuntu oba ubaba wangempela kubantwana babo kanye nokwesekwa kwabo, kodwa lokhu akuhlali njalo.
Uma kungekho muntu ofanelekayo, kuzomele ufunde ukuxazulula izinkinga zakho. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi imfundo yabantu yabantwana ibaluleke kakhulu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyini ubulili. Bobabili amantombazane nabafana badinga isandla somuntu. Kuhle uma ubaba egcina ubudlelwane nabantwana emva kokuhlukanisa, kodwa uma kungenjalo, kudingeka ufune indlela yokuphuma. Yebo. Ukukhulisa izingane owezizwe akunakwenzeka, kepha ithonya labantu abaseduze kuyadingeka. Kungaba umkhulu, umalume, umngane owazi kahle ongakwazi ukubhekana nezingane ngezikhathi ezithile, uhambe nabo, uxoxe. Ngisho kungavamile, kodwa imihlangano ejwayelekile iyoba usizo kakhulu futhi izosiza izingane zisinde ekuntulekeni kukayise.
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi owesifazane asebenze ngokuzethemba kwakhe. Ngaphansi kwethonya lombono womphakathi kanye nesimo esinzima sokuphila, uvame ukuhlupheka. Isidingo sokuzizwa njengomuntu ogcwele, ofanele injabulo, angeke anqatshelwe. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuzama ukuthola okuthile empilweni ngaphandle kokuhluleka okudlule, ubunzima nezingane kanye nesimiso sezinsuku zonke. Kwanele ukuzama ukuthola okuthile okusiza ukugcina induduzo engokomoya ukuze ususe imizwa yecala kanye neminye imizwelo emibi. Lokhu kuyadingeka nabantwana bakho, ngoba umama ojabulayo kangcono kakhulu kunomama ongajabuli.
Enye iphutha eyenziwa ngabomama abangashadile ligcinwe ngokweqile ezinganeni. Akumangazi ukuthi izingane ziba ngabantu abaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni, okungenani isikhathi esithile. Kodwa i-hyperopeak iyingozi engqondweni yengane yengane. Ingane esesimweni esinjalo iyokhula inganeliseki, incike futhi isencane. Umama kufanele acabange ngesikhathi lapho ingane yakhe ikhula futhi ilungele impilo yokuzimela. Ngakho-ke, kufanele aqaphele ukuthi wayejabule hhayi kuphela ebuntwaneni bakhe, okungukuthi, ukusebenza esikhathini esizayo. Ngakho-ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isilingo esikhulu kangakanani, akufanele neze ugqoze umntwana ukuthi abantu bangakwazi ukwethenjwa, ngisho noma owesifazane usanda kusinda ukuthengiswa. Ngokuvamile lokhu kuyisono sabomama abangashadile abanamadodakazi, bawafundisa ngokoqobo ukuthi wonke amadoda kumelwe athengise futhi akhohlise. Lokhu kuphazamisa isithombe sangempela sezwe lomntwana futhi kuthinta ubuhlobo obuseduze nobulili obuhlukile.
Omama abangabodwa bayaphila ukuphila okunzima, kodwa ngokuvamile bazinzima ngokwengeziwe. Kungaba iphutha ukucabanga ukuthi ukuba nomntwana noma ukuhlukanisa izingcingo kungaba umbuzo wokuthi kungenzeka ukuba uthole injabulo eyengeziwe. Kubalulekile ukulondoloza lezo zimfanelo ezikuvumela ukuba ukholelwe okungcono kakhulu, ukuvuleka nokuvusa. Ekuphileni kwabesifazane abanjalo, izithakazelo zabo kanye nezingane zabo kufanele zize kuqala. Ngesimo sengqondo esinjalo empilweni, ngeke kube khona imizwa ngemibono yokukhuluma yomuntu noma ubunzima bokuzihlonipha. Umama ngamunye unamathuba okwanele okwenza ingane yakhe ijabule futhi ujabule. Udinga nje ukuwasebenzisa.