Okokuqala, thola lapho abahlukumezi bevela khona. Zonke izinkinga zethu nezinkinga zethu zivela ebuntwaneni. Indoda ingase izalwe ngesimo esinamandla esiyingozi kanye nezindlela ezifinyeleleka kumntwana (abahlaziyi, ama-whims) ukuthola abazali ababuthakathaka ukuba bafeze izifiso zabo. Ekuphileni kwakhe komdala, yena, ngokugcina ukungafani nokuziphatha kwakhe, uyokwazi ukuzuza ukulawula kwakhe ngezinye izindlela, ekuqhubekeni kokucindezela kokuziphatha noma okubonakalayo noma ngisho nokusebenzisa ubudlova. Ukuhluka kokubili kokuthuthukiswa kwamadoda okuqhubekela phambili ku-tyranny kuphakama, uma ekhulela emndenini okhohlisayo, akazi enye imodeli yokuziphatha futhi uziphatha ngendlela eyaziwa yedwa.
Ngakho-ke, sithole izizathu, ushiye unembeza wabazali. Owesifazane angafunda kanjani ukuqaphela izidakamizwa zangempela emadodeni? Qaphela okukhethiweyo wakho. Uzama ukuphoqa intando yakhe kuwe, uyaqiniseka ukuthi umbono wakhe awusoleki, ulawula izindleko zakho, nini nokuthi ubani ozoya kulowo ozovakashela, futhi yini oyigqokayo, anquma ukuthi uzoya kuphi eholidini, ukuthi uzochitha kanjani ngempelasonto - umbono wakho awunjalo kucatshangelwa.
Ngaphambi kwakho uhlobo oluthile lomshicileli. Kodwa awukwazi kanjani ukubona kuye lezi zimfanelo zobunjwa? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usuthandweni olujulile, walungisa okhethiweyo wakho, akazange athambekele ekuboneni izici ezingalungile kuye, noma wazifihla ngokucophelela lokho okushiwo. Kukhona izikhathi eziningi uma ukuthambekela kokuziphendulela kubonakala kubantu kuphela ekukhulumeni nawe, kodwa emphakathini kuhle, kuhloniphe futhi kubekezelele.
Utshela umngane wakho ngodlame lwasekhaya, futhi uyamangala ngokumangala: "Hhayi, uhle kakhulu, unenhlanhla!" Ungabongi ukukholelwa ukuthi ungamfundisa kabusha-ubuntu bakhe buvele bwakhiwa, ngakho-ke uma ungenayo i-masochism ekuboniseni kwakhe okubi kakhulu, yiba nengxenye. Ungacabangi ukuthi yizinkampani zangempela zomshuwalense kuphela ezoba ukwesekwa kwakho nokusekelwa empilweni. Ungesabi ukuhlala wedwa - ungumuntu ozimele, ingabe udinga ngempela umholi wazo zonke izenzo zakho kanye nenkosi yemicabango?
Izakhamuzi zengqondo zomndeni zincoma izindlela eziningana ezingakusiza ukuthi uqaphele umshayeli wangempela kumuntu: ungasheshi ukuya ehhovisi lokubhalisa ngokushesha, njengoba ungathanda ukuthola isimo sokufisa somfazi osemthethweni. Phila ndawonye, funda omunye nomunye. Susa izibuko ezinemibala esheshayo futhi uzame ukuhlola ngokwanele izenzo zamadoda. Mqaphele (uma kungenzeka khona kancane) ezindaweni zokusebenzela: izitolo, imoto yokugeza, abalungisi bezinwele.
Ukhalela abasebenzi, uthola iphutha nabo ngendaba ephathekayo? Cabanga ngalokhu, kodwa ngokuzumayo uzoba into elandelayo yokucindezela kwakhe. Ake sihlaziye esinye isimo. Uhlala ndawonye iminyaka eminingi, umyeni wakho uphumelele ukukhushulwa enkonzweni, futhi ngokuzumayo waqala ukwakha isiteji somsebenzi ekhaya, ukukuqondisa. Emadodeni, ngezinye izikhathi ukuzigxeka ngokweqile kuyanyamalala, kungenzeka ukuthi uvele nje edlala umphathi, uyiqondise ngendlela elula, umchazele ukuthi awudingi ukuphazamisa umuntu siqu nesisemthethweni. Indlu yakho nomndeni wakho izithelo zeminyaka eminingi yomsebenzi, okungafanele iphendulwe indawo yokuhlola yokuphatha izinqumo.