Ezinganeni, akuyona into engavamile - zonke izingane okungenani kanye ekuphileni empilweni noma ukushaya enye, ngaphandle kwayo, akwenzi ngisho nezingane ezizolile futhi ezifundile. Akudingekile ukuthi ube nguSukhomlinsky ukuchazela ingane, owathola enye i-scapula ebaleni lokudlala noma ethatha isitokisi ayithandayo, okungafanele kwenziwe. Kungani? Iningi lezingane aziveli okokuqala, kodwa kusukela okwesithathu, kusukela kwesihlanu, ziyakwazi ukuqonda lokhu: ngoba enye ibuhlungu noma ibuhlungu njengoba ubungathanda uma ngabe benze lokhu kuwe. Ukwehla okuhlobene nobudala bokuhlukunyezwa kuhlotshaniswa nezinto ezisemqoka - ngeqiniso lokuthi izingane zikhula futhi ngaphansi kwethonya lemfundo ziqala ukuqonda kangcono abanye futhi ngokwazo, zizama ukuziphatha ngendlela eguquguqukayo. Bayajwayele ukulawula imizwelo yabo nokuqukatha kwabo, ukuxazulula izingxabano ngezindlela ezingezona ukwedlulele - amagama, hhayi izinti. Inqubo yokuhlalisana kwabantu ayinakugwenywa ezinganeni eziningi, futhi uma uneminyaka engama-6-7, izingane ziba zodwa futhi ziqala ukuqonda kangcono imizwa nezenzo zabanye.
Izici ze-fighters
Kodwa-ke, akuzona zonke izingane ezithola ukufana okufanayo. Kukhona labo abangatshali utshani, sebenzisa amandla kuphela. Laba bantu baqala ukuthukuthela, ukungazibikezeli, ukungaboni. Banobunzima ekukhulumisaneni neontanga, bakhule ukhathazeka, ukungavikeleki. Izingane ezinjalo azilaleli imizwa yabanye, ziyathinteka ngokweqile kanti namanje azi ukuthi zizovikela kanjani izithakazelo zazo ngosizo lwezingxabano ezifanele. Abanelisekile ngokomzwelo, bafuna ukubuyisela lokhu ngokubangela abanye ubuhlungu - ngaphezu kwakho konke, ngokomzimba. Ukuzivikela okungcono kunazo zonke ukuhlasela. Kubenza bajabule futhi besikhashana, kodwa okungenani ibhalansi elingaphakathi. Ngesikhathi uhumusha izenzo zezinye izingane njengento enenzondo, ingane enjalo ngokuphendula kwayo ibangela ukuhlukumeza kwabanye. Ngesikhathi esifanayo kuvela ukuthi kube umbuthano ononya - yiziphi zontanga ezizofuna ukushadelwa kulowo osondela ngokukushaya ngezibhande zakhe? Ngokuziphatha kwabo, lezi zingane zihlambalaza abanye, zibangela ukuba zingabi nabungane, zingenabuhlobo, zingenaso. Futhi lokhu kuqinisa ukuhlukumezeka, kumenza umntwana enze izenzo ezintsha ezingenele, avuse ukwesaba nokuthukuthela kuye. Okungukuthi, uzojabula ukukhuluma nalabafana, uzama ukuzama ukuthola indlela yokuphuma, ukubuyisela, okushoyo, izihlobo zomphakathi, kodwa nje akwazi ukukwenza ngendlela ejwayelekile, enempilo.
Ingabe abafana bahlukumeza kakhulu?
Ososayensi abakafiki esiphethweni esiqondile, ukuhlukunyezwa kwamadoda, ngakho-ke abafana, ikhwalithi ehlelwe ngaphambilini? Yebo, ngokwezifundo eziningi, amadoda empeleni aziphathe kabi kunabesifazane, kunoma yikuphi ubudala. Ukusabela ngenxa ye "inrocity" ezinikele kufanele kucace. Uma umama eqala ukufunda ukuziphatha: "Futhi uma ushaya, awuyithandi," kungenzeka ukuthi ingane yeqa isifundo esiyinkinga ngezindlebe. Ngezinye izikhathi kwanele nje ukusho ukuthi: "Vanya, cha!", Uma lo fighter izobe swing. Njengoba bekuyoba sobala kuwo wonke umuntu ukuthi abafana baziphatha ngokweqile kunamantombazane, balwa kaningi. Kodwa-ke, ubufakazi bokuthi izakhi zofuzo zithinta ukuziphatha okunjalo, odokotela noma izazi zezinto eziphilayo azikwazi ukusibonisa. Mhlawumbe, kolunye udaba - emasiko nasemfundweni. Izindlela zokuziphatha ezinikezwa kubafana zihluke kakhulu kulabo abanikwa amantombazane. Ukuhlukunyezwa kuyingxenye yesimo sengqondo sokuziphatha komuntu, kuvame ukulindelwa futhi kukhuthazwe. Ukuthi kunenye inkulumo ethi "ubulili obuqinile", isikhathi eside sigxile ezinhlobonhlobo ezifanayo ngezilimi ezihlukahlukene kakhulu zomhlaba. Lapho nje ingane iqala ukuhamba futhi ihlangana noontanga (okungukuthi, ngokoqobo ngonyaka wesibili wokuphila), kunemibono ephawulekayo emfundweni yabafana namantombazane, ngenxa yokuthi abazali nomphakathi balindele kokubili futhi, ngenxa yalokho, kulabo abasafufusa izici zobuntu. Umfana udunyiswa kusukela esemncane ngenxa yesibindi, amandla, umsebenzi, ikhono lokuzikhukhumeza, ukuzimela. Intombazane enamandla futhi enamandla efuna ukuyala futhi ngokuzimela "ukubhekana" nabahlukumezi, ivame ukulahlwa izimfanelo ezifanayo. Ngakho-ke singacabanga ukuthi kusatholakala, kodwa hhayi ikhwalithi yangempela.
Kungani kunjalo
Ngokusho kokubona kwezazi zengqondo, abantwana abanolaka, njengomthetho, abanalo uthando oluyisisekelo nokuqonda ezihlotsheni zabo. Ngokuvamile emindenini lapho izingane ezinjalo zikhula khona, isitayela sobukhosi sokukhulisa siyabusa. Esikhundleni sokukhulumisana okuphelele, abazali (njengomthetho, lokhu kuqala futhi oyinhloko ubaba onzima futhi ononya) banikela imiyalo futhi balinde ukuqaliswa kwabo okucacile. Kuphinde kwenzeke ukuthi ingane ngokuvamile ayiyona ingxenye, ikhulela yedwa, izwa ukungabi nalutho, ukungaxhumani ngokomzwelo, ukubandisa nokukhathazeka kwabazali. Isitayela se-egocentric sokukhulelwa siholela ekuhlukuneni okwenyukayo. Ingane ifundiswa ukuthi iyimbumba yomhlaba, lapho umhlaba wonke uhamba khona. Kuyacaca ukuthi ezinye izingane kanye nabantu abadala abazi ngalokhu, futhi ukuziphatha kwabo kubangela ukungathandi kwengane nokuzizwa, ukubhekana nezikhwama nokulwa. Ithonya elidabukisayo emqondweni wengane liphinde libhekane nokuxabana phakathi kwabantu abadala. Ngesikhathi ubaba nomama behlambalaza usuku nosuku, ingane ingayithinti le ndlela yokuxhumana ngokuzithandela. Kuye kuyinto evamile. Ngakho-ke, abazali abaye baqaphela ukwanda kwamandla empi phakathi kwezingane zabo kufanele baqale ukuzibuka. Kungaba kuhle ukuthi wena ngokwakho ungazitholi njalo izifiso zakho ezimbi. Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuthi izingane zifunda izindlela zokuxhumana nabantu, zibheke ukuziphatha kwabantu abakuzungezile (futhi, okokuqala, abazali babo).
Ubugebengu nokujeziswa
Uma ingane izuze okuthile ngosizo lobudlova, uzosebenzisa usizo lwakhe ngokuphindaphindiwe. Kodwa-ke, inkinga ukuthi ukusetshenziselwa isijeziso sokuncibilikisa ekuhlukunyezweni nakho kuvame ukuqinisa. Ikakhulukazi iphathelene nokujeziswa ngokomzimba. Ngendlela, kuvame ukuholela eqinisweni lokuthi ingane iqala ukushaya abanye. Ukuze ukuhlukunyezwa kwengane kungagcini nje kuphela, kodwa kuyadinga izindlela eziyinkimbinkimbi. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi izidingo eziyinhloko zanoma yimuphi ingane yisidingo sokuzwa ukuthi uyathandwa futhi uyakwazisa. Ngakho ukwelashwa kobudlova obandayo kungaba kuphela isimo sengqondo sokuthembela, nobungane kumntwana. Ukubamba iqhaza kukababa, ngesibonelo sakhe ebonisa indodana yakhe ukuthi ubukhulu beqiniso abukona ikhono lokuphumula kahle kumphulukisi, kodwa ukuqondisa amandla akhe emzimbeni ngesinye isiteshi esisebenzayo. Ungashintsha ukunaka, uthi, komunye uhlobo "wokusebenza" ngokomzimba. Indlela enhle ukurekhoda i-fighter esigabeni sezemidlalo, eholwa ngumqeqeshi onolwazi nangamakhono angokwengqondo. Ungaba "umcamelo othukuthele" okhethekile ukuze unciphise ukucindezeleka. Uma ingane ithukuthele omunye umuntu, makabe ethatha iphilisi le pillow. Lesi seluleko sivame ukunikezwa ochwepheshe bezengqondo kanye namakhasimende abo abadala, ngoba akekho ongcwele ozwa imizwa enobudlova nhlobo. Njengoba ngokusobala singakuphathisi nabo, kubalulekile ukufunda nokufundisa izingane zakho ukulawula imizwelo yabo emibi, hhayi ukuchitha impilo yabo noma abanye.