Uthando ngumdlalo, futhi ngubani owaqala ukuthandana, walahlekelwa. Ngakho bakholelwa ngobuqotho abantu abathile, futhi ufihle uthando lwawo ngokujulile, ukuze ungaboni olahlekile, obuthakathaka, obuthakathaka. Kodwa ingabe lokhu kuvimbela abantu kuphela ukuvula imizwa yabo? Yiziphi ezinye izizathu ezenza ukuba abantu bafihle, futhi yiziphi izimpawu ezinikezela umthandi wemfihlo?
Izimbangela zokuphoqa abantu ukuba bafihle uthando lwabo
Izizathu zokufihla imizwa yabo esoka kungaba yiningi. Isizathu salolu uhlamvu lomuntu siqu noma isimiso somphakathi, ukukhomba ngokushesha akusi njalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kodwa ukwazi mayelana nezinto ezidingekayo kulokhu kuzosenza sikwazi ukuqonda uhlobo lwesifuba samadoda futhi, uma umfana esithandayo, uzokusiza ukwenza ngezimo ukuze ambeke ngokukhululekile:- Kuvinjelwe umlingiswa. Umuntu onjalo kunzima ukuveza imizwelo nokukhuluma. Uthanda ukuthula, futhi ubonise isimo sakhe sengqondo ngentombazane enezenzo. Kakhulu kakhulu njengomuntu! Ngakho maduze noma "uzokhuluma" ... izenzo.
- Izici zemfundo. Abafana abaningi bafundiswa kusukela ebuntwaneni ukuthi kufanele babe namandla kukho konke, nokuthi amadoda angempela akufanele avunyelwe ukuchitha "i-snot ushukela", njengenye intombazane yokuhleba. Lesi isibonakaliso sobuthakathaka! Ngakho-ke umfana ugcina imizwa yakhe, ngoba uqinisekile ukuthi amadoda angempela awadansa, ungakhali futhi ungavumi ukuthanda.
- Ukuzethemba okuphansi. Izindleko zemfundo enzima kakhulu, ukubonakaliswa kokungathandi ngomfana ebuntwaneni, ukulahla inhlalakahle yakhe - konke lokhu kudala ukungaqiniseki nokwehlukaniswa. Umfana uzojabula ukuvuma, kodwa ucabanga ukuthi akekho futhi ongafanelanga intombazane enjalo.
- Ukwesaba ukukhishwa. Abanye abantu besaba ukuphulwa ekuziqhenyeni kwabo besilisa, ukuthi ukucabanga okuwukuthi bayokwenqatshwa noma ukuhleka izinzwa, kuvimbela ngokuphelele isifiso sabo sokubonisa isimo sabo sengqondo futhi bavume uthando lwabo.
- Ubujamo obuhlobene nobuhlobo. Ukungaphumeleli othandweni kungasikhathaza isikhathi eside isifiso sokwakha ubuhlobo obusha. Ngokuvamile umuntu ufihla imizwa yakhe yangempela hhayi kuphela kwintombazane ayithandana nayo, kodwa futhi evela kuye. Ngakho i-psyche ilula ukubhekana nobuhlungu.
- Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa inkululeko. Ngokuvamile, ukuzimela kuthathwa ngabantu njengento ebiza kakhulu kunazo zonke. Ngokwemvelo, akekho oyozidela ngokuzithandela inkululeko yabo eyigugu. Ngakho abathuli ngokuthi bayathandana ezindlebeni, ngakho akudingeki bashade.
- Isitembu epasipoti. Indoda engesiye ingakwazi ukuthathwa, kodwa, ngokwesaba isambulo, iyofihla imizwa yakhe. Akuyona into embi, kodwa iqiniso lokuthi abanye abantu bafihla umshado wabo intombazane abayithandayo, lapho benquma ukuqala ubudlelwane "obunxele".
Izimpawu "ukukhuluma" ngothando lomfana
- Bheka futhi ubuso obuso. Amehlo othandekayo akhipha ngisho nendoda egcinwe kakhulu. Kuzo, nokujula, nokukhazimula, nokwedelela, nokuhlazeka. Imizwa enjalo yemidlalo iboniswa ebusweni bombuso. Konke kubhalwe ebusweni bakhe. Umfana wabe esehlambalaza, bese ephenduka ephaphathekile phambi kwentombazane, amlalele ngomlomo wakhe evulekile, ekhungathekile, ephazamiseke imizwa, noma ngokufanayo, ehlaba umomotheka.
- Ukuthinta. Umzimba uyisikhombisa esihle kakhulu seqiniso. Ukuthinta kuyokwenziwa ikhanda lomfana othandweni. Kungaba yize noma ukuqina ekuhambeni, isifiso sokuthinta intombazane "engavamile" lapho emdlula into ethile noma esiza ukugqoka ingubo, ukungafihli kahle izinwele zakhe, njll. Ukukhangwa ngokocansi nentombazane kungaphathwa lapho umfana ekhuluma, ngokuvamile ubeka izandla zakhe okhalweni, ezinqumeni, asakaza kabanzi imilenze yakhe.
- Izwi nenkulumo. Izwi lomfana ozwa imizwa engokomzwelo, ngaphansi kwethonya lama-hormone liba lujulile, ligcwele izinkulumo zamagama kanye namanothi okuhlaziya. Kodwa inkulumo, ngokuphambene nalokho, ingaphenduka ekufundeni nasekufundeni ibe ngamazwi, imisindo nemisindo engavamile. Mayelana nomuntu onjalo bathi akakwazi ukuxhuma amagama amabili. Kodwa kwenzeka nakwezinye izindlela, umfana owayevame ukuchazwa kuphela ngendwangu, uthola amazwi abathandekayo entombazaneni othandekayo, ambiza ngegama elidabukisayo ngamagama kanye namagama okuqamba amancane.
- Ukubukeka. Inentshisekelo intombazane lo mfana ufuna ukuthanda konke, futhi ukubukeka akuyona into ehlukile. Ukhokha kakhulu ukuhlanzeka kwakhe, ukhetha ngokucophelela izingubo, izicathulo namafutha, ngokuvamile ubheka esibukweni. Kwabesilisa abaningi, uthando luyisikhuthazo esikhulu sokuqala ukuya ejimini kanye nesizathu esikhulu sokuqeda imikhuba emibi njengobumba utshwala nokubhema.
- Ukuziphatha. Abantu abathandekayo bavame ukusheshisa ngokweqile. Uma umfana osebenzayo futhi ovelele emphakathini wentombazane ethize uba ngokuzumayo ozolile futhi enqatshelwe, futhi ukuthula kube yinto enesibindi futhi eqinile, kunezizathu zonke zokusola ukuthi ziwe othandweni. Futhi, amadoda amaningi othandweni agcizelelwe ukunakekelwa nokukhathazeka okukhulu, ukuqagela zonke izifiso futhi ukhumbule izinsuku ezingakhohlwa.
- Isikhala somuntu siqu. Njengoba ethandana, umfana akaveli nje ngokuphindaphindiwe endaweni yokuhlala yentombazane, kodwa uzama ukumfaka endaweni yakhe siqu - ukwethula abangane bakhe, ukumemela ekhaya, abonise abazali bakhe. Ekukhulumisaneni nentombazane, uvula izingxoxo eziyimfihlo, ahlanganyele amaphupho akhe noma izimfihlakalo eziyimfihlakalo, evumela emhlabeni wakhe, mhlawumbe, kuwo wonke umuntu, umnyango uvaliwe ngokuqinile.
- Umhawu. Umfana othanda, kodwa othulile, angacabangi ngokungazi lutho intombazane yakhe impahla. Futhi noma ngabe le nsizwa ingacabangi ngisho nemizwa yakhe, uqinisekile ukuthi ingowakhe. Futhi ngenhloso yokuzwelana kwakhe, ngeke avumele noma ubani ukuba abheke ngisho nokuthi angathini ngokudlala ngothando, ukuncintisana nokunikeza ezinye izimpawu zokunaka. Ukushisa kwemizwelo noma ukuhlaselwa okunonya ngokuqondiswa kwamadoda anesithakazelo intombi yakhe, kuzothi ngomfana othandweni ngaphezu kwalokho angathanda.