Izinyanga ezingu-6-12: ukuhlangana kuqala neziphathimandla
Bonke abazali babhekene nosuku nsuku zonke isidingo sokuthi "cha" kumntana omncanyana obuka amehlo anamehlo futhi eqala ukukhala. Nokho, lokhu akusho ukuthi kufanele unikezele futhi unikeze kukho konke. Ngokuphambene nalokho, ekuqaleni ubeka imithetho eqondisa nokuvikela ingane, ngokushesha uzokhula. Ngezinyanga ezingu-6-7, izinsana zithanda ukukhipha izibuko kusuka ekhaleni likagogo bese zidonsa emgqeni womama. Lokhu kuyinto evamile kakhulu, bavele babhekene nesikhathi sokuthuthukiswa lapho umuntu efuna ukuhlola ubuso obungakajwayelekile, zama ukubeka iminwe yakho emlonyeni wakho, ekhaleni, ezindlebeni nasekudoneni ngezitho ezinhle futhi ezikhangayo ezinjalo! Akufanele uvumele ingane iphathe ngale ndlela bese ihleka. Kungcono uma ubeka isandla sakhe ngobumnene kodwa ngokuzithoba bese uthi: "Cha, lokhu kuyinto enhle, ngiyayithanda kakhulu, uma uyidonsa, uzoyiphula, futhi ngeke ngiyithande!" lapho eneminyaka engaphezu kwengu-6, ezwa lokho kuchazwa, uyakwazi ukubona ukuthi lokhu akunakwenziwa, futhi uzogxila ezinganeni namathoyizi. Imithi yabazali ehlangene nokuthinta kuyokwenza ukuthi ayeke.
Ukubusa kwezintathu "akunakwenzeka"
Kusukela ezinyangeni ezingu-12, ukuziphatha kwengane kuqhutshwa yi-"epistemological" impulse (le nkulumo elula kakhulu ichaza ukuthi ingane ilambile isipiliyoni esisha, ifuna ukuhlola izwe elikuzungezile, ukuhamba, ukuhamba, ukuthinta konke). Lesi sifiso sokuzimela nokutholakala kungenakuphikisa ukuthi ingane ibhekane nobungozi. Khona-ke kufanele umtshele ingane futhi usebenzise ekukhuliseni kwakhe ukuthi yiziphi izazi zengqondo ezibiza ukulawulwa kwezinto ezintathu "ezingenakwenzeka": awukwazi ukuzibeka engozini, awukwazi ukubeka engozini kwabanye futhi awukwazi ukuba yindawo yokuhlala ekhaya, okungukuthi, kumelwe uhloniphe abanye nezinto zabo siqu. Lezi zinqatshelwe kufanele zichazwe ingane ngendlela ehlelekile ngesikhathi lapho eqala ukuxhumana nezwe elizungezile futhi athuthele ngokuzimela. Uma ungenjalo, uma, ngokwesibonelo, uma umvumela ukuba akhuphuke itafula, angawa futhi aphumele. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho okungalungile kuyomsusa ekufisweni kwesifiso sokuqala kabusha, futhi izinqubo zokuqhaqhazela ezizovimbela intuthuko yakhe nentuthuko zizoqhubeka. Ukuze kutholakale ngokushesha futhi kalula imithetho yempilo kanye nezisekelo zamandla, ingane kufanele ibe ngokwemvelo futhi ithembele kubantu abadala abakhuphulayo. Njalo lapho ekhanga into entsha, ingane iphendukela kumzali futhi ifuna amehlo akhe noma amagama asemthethweni ukuba ayeke noma aqhubeke. Uma umzali embiza noma ebukeka engavumi, khona-ke lokhu kuzokwanele ukuba ingane ilalele futhi ibuye. Uma ubuso bakhe bubonakala, uma ethi: "Woza, ungahamba!", Ingane ithola ukuzethemba futhi iqhubeka nezenzo zakhe. Umzali nengane baqondisa izenzo zabo. Amandla omdala avezwa ngaphandle kokusetshenziswa kobudlova, futhi ingane ifunda isisekelo sokuziphatha, okuyisisekelo sokwenza ubudlelwane obuseduze nomphakathi.
Iminyaka engu-2-3: ukulwa komzali "cha" no "cha" umntwana ozimelayo
Lapho uneminyaka engu-2 ubudala, ingane ijwayele ukucabanga ukuthi iyindawo ephakathi nendawo futhi izifiso zayo kufanele zibhekwe njengokuzungezile. Isazi sezengqondo esidumile uJean Piaget wayengowokuqala ukunikeza isici esikhethekile izingane ezineminyaka emibili kuya kwengu-7 ubudala: zibhekwa yi-egocentrism. Ungazidibanisi nobugovu bomntwana, kungumbuzo wendlela yokucabanga. Kule minyaka yobudala, ingane ithanda ukuthatha okungaphezu kokupha, futhi kuyoba kuhle uma konke kungenxa yakhe. Ubheka ukuthi umbono wakhe ubaluleke kakhulu futhi awukwazi ukuzibeka endaweni yomunye. Yilapho i-whims kanye nesimanga esibi esithathayo, lapho enqatshelwe lokho akufunayo. Le nkathi yokuzifakazela ekuthuthukiseni ingane ihlala iminyaka emithathu nengxenye. Ekuqhubekeni kwalesi "sigaba sokunganaki," ingane kufanele imelane nabantu abadala bese ibiza igama elithi "cha" ukuba ibe umuntu ohlukile futhi aziqinisekise. "Uthi cha ukukwenza okuphambene nalokhu! Ngalesi sikhathi ekuphileni, kubalulekile ukuba ingane iqonde imingcele yobukhosi bakhe. Kunconywa ukuthi ingane ivunyelwe ukuzwakalisa futhi ithuthukise ubuntu bakhe, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo umuntu kumele akwazi ukuthi "cha" ku "cha" wengane. Uma ingane ifunde ngaphambilini ukulinganiselwa okuyivikelayo, manje nje idinga imikhawulo. Akayedwa emhlabeni! Uma kunokwenzeka, kufanele uchaze ingane ukuthi kungani engakwenzi, kepha ngezinye izikhathi udinga ukumfundisa ngendlela enzima: "Yeka, ngakutshela" cha "- ke cha!", Ukukhulisa izwi lakhe nokwenza amehlo amakhulu. Ukuze lolu "cha" lube usizo, ungachaza isikhathi sokuvinjelwa: "Usencane kakhulu, ungakwenza uma ukhululekile" - bese kuthi: "Cha, awukwazi ukuhamba wedwa, ngizokusiza." Ingane izokwamukela imingcele esimweni sobubele nokuthembela ndawonye. " Ingane ikwamukela ngokuzithandela ukuvinjelwa kwabazali nokwesaba lapho isimo sakhe somuntu siqu sengqondo sihlonishwa, futhi abazali bakhe banobungane kuye.
3-4 iminyaka: ukuvinjelwa okungokomfanekiso
Imithetho eqondile yokuphila emphakathini ibalulekile kumntanakho, kepha ukuvinjelwa okungokomfanekiso kuyadingeka ukuba asize ekutholeni amandla. Ngenkathi yobudala be-Oedipus, amantombazane amancane afuna ukushada noyise, futhi abafana abancane bafuna ukushada nomama wabo. Uthando ngomunye wabazali lubacindezela ukuthatha indawo yomzali-mpikiswano, kodwa bazizwa benecala kakhulu, ngoba, ngempela, bathanda bobabili abazali. Kubalulekile ukuthi isifiso se-Oedipal sibhekane nokuvinjelwa kwesihlobo sakwa-incest, abazali ababikela ingane, ukuthi abantwana bangashadi futhi bangashadi abazali babo. Uma abazali bethi "cha" ezifisweni zengane, "cha" emibonweni yakhe engenakwenzeka, babonisa amandla abo bese bebhekene nezingane ngokuyiqiniso. Futhi-ke ingane iyaqonda ukuthi kufanele ibheke ngezifiso zabanye abantu. Uma umtshela ukuthi "cha", uzoyifundisa ukucacisa imithetho yokuphila eyoyisiza ukuba yakhe ukuphepha kwangaphakathi. Uyaqaphela ukuthi ungumuntu ophucukile onamalungelo afanayo nemisebenzi njengabo bonke abanye.
Iminyaka engu-5-6: imithetho yansuku zonke
Amandla abadala abonakala ekugcineni komkhuba wansuku zonke ohlela ingane. Ekuseni sisukuma, sigqoke futhi sidle kwasekuseni. I-Snack ku-4.30. Uma ingane ingafuni ukuyidla, makangadli. Ungamniki amaswidi noma umvumele ukuba adle isiphuzo ngo-6 ntambama. Kusihlwa sekuyisikhathi sokuhamba bese ulala embhedeni wakho. Uma ufundisa ingane lezi zilungiselelo, esekelwa imithetho eqondile, ingane inganciphisa kodwa ngokuqinisekile ihambele ekuzimele. Kuyamangalisa ukuthi ingane elalelayo ikhululekile kakhulu kunomntwana ongenacala. Uma uqhubeka nazo zonke izifiso zengane, uzizwa ekhathazekile. Futhi ukubonakaliswa kwamandla kunganciphisa phansi. Ungazakheli umzali oyisibonelo, lapho ingane izalwa nje. Amandla azibonakalisa futhi akhula ngamandla kancane kancane, ekusebenzisaneni kwengane nomzali. Izivimbelo zenziwa kancane kancane. Awukwazi ukufuna konke kusuka kwengane ngesikhathi esisodwa. Ukubeletha akuyona isandla sensimbi, akufanele uzame "ukugoba" ingane, kodwa kumsize abe umuntu omuhle.