Akukho lutho oluguqula impilo yethu ngokungazelelwe njengokubonakala kwendoda encane encane endlini. Ezinyangeni ezimbalwa zokuqala asikwazi ukuzinqamula kumntwana okwesibili. Kodwa ngisho nezinyanga ezimbalwa ezedlule, nakuba isisu sase siphila empilweni yaso futhi sivimbela ukubopha izicathulo ezicathulweni, singasho ngokuqiniseka ukuthi singabanye kithi. Kwakunzima ukugcina othintana nabo nobudlelwane bomndeni izinyanga ezingu-9: sasijabulela ukuya kuma-movie, ukulungiswa komndeni, kanye nesonto eledlule ngisho nokukwazi ukudansa tango emshadweni womuntu osebenza naye. Kodwa emva kokukhishwa esibhedlela sokubeletha phezu kobuhlobo, amafu amnyama aqina. "Isikhathi ngasinye, ekubeni umama, owesifazane uyashintsha, futhi umbono wakhe wezwe ushintsha. Ukuvela kwengane, ngokungadingekile, kuqala, okwesibili noma kwesithathu, kusho ukubusa okusha kosuku, ukwesaba okusha, umjikelezo omusha wezinto ezithandayo. " Ubudlelwane nabanye bubuye buguquke. Isikhathi esithile owesifazane uvala ezweni lakhe elihamba eduze nabangane, izihlobo ngisho nomyeni wakhe, futhi lokhu kuyimvelo. Izinyanga zokuqala ezingu-2-3 emva kokuzalwa komntwana umzimba wethu ubhekene nokuqhaqhazeka okukhulu: inani lama-hormone, okwandise izikhathi ezingu-50 ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, lihlaselwa ngokuvamile. Omama abasha badabuka ngaphandle kwesizathu, bathukuthele, bathole ukukhathazeka okungenakuqondakala. Lezi zimo zemizwa ziyingozi kakhulu ngenyanga yokuqala, kodwa zivamile futhi zidlula ngokushesha. AmaMelika abiza leli bhues baby baby (in translation ezamahala - "ukudikibala okubangelwa ukuzalwa kwengane"). Ngokushesha owesifazane usetshenziselwa indima kamama kakhulu kangangokuthi konke okunye okwenziwe yi-hypostases - abathandayo, abafazi, izintombi - baya ezinhlelweni sesibili nesithathu. Izinyanga zokuqala ezingu-3-6 ufunda ukuqonda umntwana, futhi lokhu kushiya amandla akhe konke. "
Umngani omkhulu
Wena wafunda ndawonye ngezifundo zolimi eU.SA, origami enhle, wahamba lonke elaseYurophu ingxenye yonyaka futhi, eqinisweni, wabelana kakhulu. Kodwa ngemva kokuba ube ngumama, umngane wakho omkhulu akufuni ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ungenayo isikhathi esanele kuye. "Uma abesifazane abadala bethandana njengabantombazane esikoleni (" Wathengiswa, kodwa ungangibize "), ingane izobonakala njenge-razluchnik, futhi ingatholakali okwesikhashana - njengenkohlakalo. Umama kubalulekile ukubeka kuqala, ukucabanga, ngubani othandekayo kuye manje - intombi noma ingane? Futhi vumela ukuba uthathe ikhefu ebuhlotsheni, ukuze emva kwesikhathi esithile aphinde aphinde abuyele kubo. " Kodwa akudingekile ukuphula izibopho ngokuphelele, ikakhulukazi ngoba kusetshenziselwa ukuthatha imiphefumulo. Ungakhohlwa ngamanye amabhonasi. Uma une okungenani ifasitela yenkululeko esimisweni sakho esimatasa, intombi yakho enesizungu izokuvuma ngokushesha ukuchitha isikhathi sakho sokuzilibazisa nawe, kunabangani bakho, obathwalwe yizingane kanye nomyeni wakhe. Ukuze ulungise isimo, ukhulume naye kuqala. "Chaza umngane wakho ukuthi unamacala amaningi, ukuthi umbuso wakho ushintshile ngendlela ephawulekayo nokuthi ukhathele kakhulu," weluleka isazi sezokwelapha. - Bese unikeza iskripthi sakho, ngokucacile ukubonisa isikhathi: "Ngifuna ngempela ukukubona, futhi ngoLwesithathu ebusuku ngizoba namahora angama-2 mahhala" noma "Ake sibize emavikini amabili". Ilungiselelo elinjalo lenzekile ukulungisa, uma ukukhulumisana kuletha injabulo. Uma kungenjalo, awudingi ukuzuma phezu kwakho futhi ulungise intombi yakho, ukuze ungamcasuli. Zibuze, kungani ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ukuxhumana nalomuntu? Uma ubuhlobo bakho bwakhiwe ngesimiso sokuhwebelana ngokubambisana "wena-mina, mina-wena", ingabe udinga ngempela lokhu? Kunoma yikuphi, intombi yakho kufanele inqume ukuthi ingabe izimisele ukwamukela imigomo yakho noma cha.
Abangani-abaphikisanayo
Emva kokuzalwa kwengane, wena ngokwakho ngaphandle kokuqaphela, waba abangane nabangani abanabantwana. Manje banamandla amakhulu emehlweni akho, kunabangane bakho abanesizungu. "Ukuxhumana" nabangane-ngokuzijabulisa "kusiza umama ukunciphisa ukukhathazeka ngane." Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ukushintshaniswa kwesipiliyoni akuhambanga kahle njengoba kwakungaphupho. Isihloko sokuphikisana sitholakele ngaso sonke isikhathi: ukhetha abadayisi, aba-diapers, uvotela ukudla okusemathinini, yena-ngokudla okuzenzela ... "Umbuzo awuyena olungile futhi ongekho, empeleni ekhulisa izingane ngezindlela ezahlukene. Vala isihloko kungaba yindima enamandla: "Sonke sihlukile." Uma kukhona isifiso, chaza imininingwane: "Angithathi abantwana endaweni yokudlela, ngoba nabo angikwazi ukuphumula futhi ngijabulele ukukhuluma nawe." Uma ngabe kunomncintiswano phakathi kwakho nentombi yakho (ophethe isikhwama esingaphezu kwemfashini, izinwele zihle kakhulu, umyeni unobunzima), emva kokuzalwa kwezingane, uzogeleza esiteshini esisha: umntwana wakhe uhlale phansi, uhambe noma ukhulume kuqala, owathenga amathoyizi amaningi wengane, njalo njalo. "Qhathanisa izingane kuyingozi. Uma ukuziphatha noma ukuthuthukiswa komntanakho kukubangela ukuba ukwesabe, amazwi ka-intombi angcono ukuwabona njengesignali esenzweni. Umsebenti wakho akufanele uzuze noma uthinte intombi yakho, kodwa ukusiza ingane yakho ngokumbonisa udokotela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
I-oasis izifiso ezinhle
Uma uqala ukusebenza ngokushesha ngemva kokuzalwa kwengane, kungenzeka ukuthi uhlangene nokuhlambalaza okuyisimungulu eqenjini elilodwa nje lezinsikazi, okungafundwa kahle ekubukeni okulahlayo, kepha ngezikhathi ezithile lizuza igobolondo lomlomo: "Awungenanga yini ukwenza imfundo yengane yakho?" Noma "Wanquma kanjani ukushiya umntwana wengane enesihe somfana?" Izinsolo ezinjalo zandisa umuzwa wecala uma uhlushwa ngakho. "Abanye abantu bakusho lokhu ngenhloso ezinhle, bakufisa kahle, ngoba kungenzeka bangayazi yonke imininingwane ye-ohms life yakho. Uma lokhu kuphazamisa kukulimaza, tshela ozakwabo ngemizwa yakho bese uchaza isizathu sokuphuma okuphuma kulo myalelo: "Uma wazi ukuthi ngihlupheka kanjani, kodwa umyeni wami usanda kunqunywa, futhi manje ngidla umndeni wedwa." Emaqenjini amantombazane, omama abancane bathunyelwa omunye, kodwa umlayezo ongeyena ohlambalazayo: "Uhlobo luni lomsebenzi ovela manje!" Lolu hlobo lokubona okulungile luyakuthinta, futhi uzama ngazo zonke izindlela ukubuyisela ithemba labalingani bakho: uhlale ehhovisi kuze kube sekwephuzile, uthathe izibopho eziningi futhi zama ukungakhulumi ngane. Ngenxa yalokho, wonke umuntu uyabuhlungu: osebenza nabo abaphoqelelwe ukukuqinisekisa, kanye nezingane ezingenakwanele ukunakekelwa komama, nawe ngokwakho. "Uma unethuba lokungenani unyaka wokuhlala ekhaya nomntanakho, sebenzisa. Uma ungasheshi ukusebenza, kodwa uzibophezele ekukhuliseni umntwana, uzothola ukwethembela okuyisisekelo emhlabeni ngalesi sikhathi, futhi ungatshela ukuthi wenze konke ongakwenza kuye. " Kukhona okwesithathu okuhlukile kokuthuthukiswa kwemicimbi, lapho ozakwabo benza sengathi akukho okukhethekile okwenzeke kuwe. Bawuvusa ngokungapheli phakathi nobusuku ukubuza ukuthi umgodi ugoba amanga, noma unxusa ukuya emsebenzini ngempelasonto. Ungagcwalisa isicelo ngamazinyo akho, noma cisha ifoni. "Amaqhinga anjalo ngeke asisize ukugcina amangqamuzana omzimba, kodwa empeleni umama oncelisayo akumele akhathazeke. Okokuqala, sinqume isikhathi esingakanani ofuna ukuyisebenzisa kulo myalelo. Zibuze: Ngingaya emsebenzini ngemva kwezinyanga ezintathu noma ngidinga ukuthatha okungenani ngonyaka? Uma ngizophuma ezinyangeni ezingu-3, ngizozizwa kanjani? Ngingamshiya nobani? Ngizokwazi yini ukuzidela ngokuphelele ukuze ngisebenze? Njengoba usuhlelile uhlelo lwezenzo, bubike kubaphathi bakho njenge-fait accompli: "Kuyoba kuhle ngane wami, umndeni wami kanye nami. Kuhle ukuba umama omncane abe nobugovu, futhi akufanele ube namahloni. "
Izindaba zomndeni
Ngokubonakala komntwana, isimo sowesifazane ngaphakathi komndeni sishintsha. Ngezinye izikhathi uyakhuphuka, isibonelo, uma unodade osekhulile engenamntwana, futhi ngezinye izikhathi uwela, isibonelo, uma esikhundleni somfana osalinde isikhathi eside intombazane yesine ibonakala. Kuzo zombili izimo, ukugxekwa kuvame ukuthunyelwa kumama osemncane. Udade osekhulile, mhlawumbe, yena ngokwakhe ofuna ukushada, uzama ukuphakamisa ukuzethemba kwakhe, ngokuthinta izikhathi ezithile imizwa yabancane. "Amazwi angaphandle athi asilimaze kuphela uma singajabuli nathi. Uma amazwi omdade wakho akulimaza, cabanga ngakho. Mhlawumbe awujabuli ukuthi unjengomama wendlu. Uma kunjalo, zama ukushintsha isimo. " Ngenxa yezihlazo esizizwayo noma ezishoyo, ngokuvamile zifihla ukuzihlonipha, ukuziphendulela, ukudabuka ngamathuba alahlekile. "Uma uqaphela ukuthi udade wakho uhlupheka, ngoba impilo yakhe ayifaki futhi amazwi akhe ayenalo ubuhlobo obuqondile kuwe, uzosabela kubo ngokuthula, futhi isifiso sokuphendula okufanayo sizophela." Emindenini enezinzalamizi, abesifazane banezinye izinkinga. "Uma izihlobo zilindele umfana, futhi intombazane ivela, umama omncane unecala. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ngaphandle kwe "cell cell" enwetshiwe, okubandakanya abazali nodadewabo, omalume nobazukazi, abafowenu nodadewethu abanamanani amanani ajwayelekile, unomndeni wakho ngemithetho kanye nezinto eziza kuqala, umndeni lapho indodakazi yesine - hhayi usizi, kodwa injabulo enkulu. "