Okokuqala, kufanelekile ukuqonda imbangela yokuxabana. Phela, uma umuntu ecasula owesifazane, khona-ke lokhu kunemfuneko ethile. Izimo ongazithokozisa ngazo intandokazi, okuningi. Kodwa ingabe uqinisekile ukuthi akazange amcasule ngokwakhe? Mhlawumbe wayenesineke, ngenkathi ugijimela efulethini ngezingcweti, wamncenga ngamazwi ahlambalazayo kanye nezimangalo, futhi ngesikhathi esisodwa waphumula, wamemeza: "Dura!" Futhi ushiye ekamelweni? Ngeshwa, futhi, ngenhlanhla, siphila esikhathini lapho abesifazane bengasaphathwa njengabantu abangathethelelwa, futhi nathi ngokwethu sizosola lokhu. Ngikholelwa ukuthi, uma ungowokuqala ukucasula indoda, futhi umuntu uyakucasula ngokuphindaphindiwe, khona-ke ngeke abe ngowokuqala ukubuyisana, futhi ngeke azizwe enecala ngisho noma isizathu se-hysteria yakho sinjalo. Zama ukuziqonda ukuthi yini engakufanelanga, futhi uxoxe nomuntu wakho kuqala, uxolise, bese uzama ukuthula futhi ngaphandle kokuveza ukuchaza ukuthi yini ngempela ekuziphatheni kwakhe akuhambisani nawe, cela kusuka manje, ukuze ugweme izingxabano, ungenzi kanjalo. Uma usalokhu ephendula ngokumelene nezimangalo zakho bese uqala ukuphakamisa izwi lakhe, khona-ke lapha unezinketho ezintathu: owokuqala - shiya konke okuyikho, bese uzama ukungafuni; okwesibili ukuphuma kuye, ngoba kuwe okukhulunywa ngakho kubaluleke kakhulu, kodwa i-MCH yakho ayifuni ukushintsha isimo; owesithathu - ukuvumelana nendoda ukuthi, ngokwesibonelo, wenze lokhu nokuthi, futhi akakwenzi, noma ngokufanayo. Khumbula ukuthi indoda iyinhloko, kanti owesifazane uyintamo, ngakho ngezinye izikhathi kungcono ukuqala ukuvuma nokuxolisa kunokuzihlupha ngokwakho nokukhipha izinzwa zakho.
Uma umuntu ecasula owesifazane - ubani okufanele abe ngowokuqala ukubekezelela? Kukhona umbono wokuthi uma umuntu ecasula owesifazane, akufanele abe ngowokuqala ukubuyisana, ngoba njengama-comrades noma yena ngokwakhe angamlinganisa futhi ahlonipheke. Ngifuna ukuphawula ngokushesha ukuthi lo mbono ukhona phakathi kwemindeni engapheliyo emazweni aseMpumalanga Ekude nakwamanye amazwe omhlaba, noma phakathi kwamadoda angalondekile futhi anzima kakhulu esikoleni esiphakeme nasencane. Abantu abavuthiwe, abaqaphelayo nabanethemba abanokuma okuhle emphakathini bahlale behlonipha futhi bebahlonipha abesifazane babo. Ngoba laba besifazane abafanayo bayimvelo yabo, ngenxa yokuthi bona, okungukuthi, amadoda, banezinto okwamanje. Futhi uma lo muntu ekhona engalungile, ecasula isifiso sakhe futhi uyayibona, khona-ke kufanele axolise. Uma insizwa yakho isaba ukubonakala ibuthakathaka, ikhombisa ukuhlonipha owesifazane, khona-ke kufanele umcele ukuthi abeke izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kulokhu okubaluleke kakhulu - umbono wabanye abantu, noma ubuhlobo nawe. Uma ekhetha owokuqala, khona-ke udinga ukucabangela ngokujulile ukuthi uyithando yini. Phela, ubudlelwane bakhelwa, okokuqala, ngokuhloniphana, kodwa kulokhu akusho ukuthi kunuka. Uma isigamu sakho sesibili sikhetha ukhetho lwesibili, khona-ke khuluma naye ukuthi uzozizwa kanjani, yenzani nawe. Zama ukumchazela ukuthi kufanele uhloniphane futhi ukwazi ukubona amaphutha futhi wenze ukuyekethisa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma exolisa kuwe lapho kudingekile ngempela, okokuqala, ukuhlonipha kwakho nokuzethemba kuye kuyakufanelekela, futhi lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu kubantu. Kodwa, njengoba wazi, kulesi simo, ukuze ukhulume ngalokhu, kuzodingeka uphakamise ifulegi elimhlophe kuqala.
Uma indoda isonile owesifazane, futhi owesifazane uyindoda, futhi akucaci ukuthi ubani okufanele abe ngowokuqala ukubekezelela, mina ngokwami ngeluleka ukuba ngiqale ukuqonda ukuthi yini umphumela ukuthi amaqembu afuna ukuthola. Phela, kusukela kunoma yikuphi ukuphikisana sithola izifundo neziphetho. BUT! Owesifazane ngaso sonke isikhathi wayebhekene nokuthula nenduduzo endlini. Uma ufuna ukufundisa kabusha umuntu wakho, menze abe "genie" wakho, enze noma yiziphi izifiso, khona-ke lapha awunayo inhlanhla ngezizathu ezimbili: kuqala - abantu abakwazi ukuguqulwa, indoda yakho isivele yenzeke njengomuntu, futhi , ukulungisa ezinye zezimfanelo zayo ngenzuzo yakho, kodwa hhayi ngezindlela ezinjalo jikelele, futhi njalo imisebenzi yakho ngeke idale umphumela; okwesibini - thina sonke sithanda abantu hhayi kuphela ngenxa yezimfanelo zabo ezinhle, kodwa futhi ngenxa yeziphambeko zabo, futhi ngisho noma, ngithi ungabe ufundisa kabusha umuntu, futhi akulethele ama-slippers nekhofi embhedeni ekuseni, kuzokuthatha isikhathi esingakanani injabulo? Kungenzeka ukuthi, "u-muzhchinka" othembekile uyokukhathaza, ngeke enze izinqumo zakhe, futhi "kusukela edongeni lakho lamatshe" lizophenduka isidalwa esidinga ukuvikelwa kwakho, futhi uyomshiya ufuna "indoda yangempela". Kodwa lokhu kuwukuphela kwemfundiso. Khumbula nje ukuthi okuningi kuxhomeke kuwe kunalokho ucabanga. Zama ukugcina ibhalansi ngombhangqwana, futhi ngenxa yalokho ngezinye izikhathi udinga ukuzithoba, ngoba ubudlelwane abukwakhiwa ngobugovu. Bonke abesifazane abaphumelelayo bayavuma ukuthi ngesikhathi esithile empilweni ubudlelwane babo bomuntu bebuqhekekile, kwakudingeka banikele ukuze balondoloze lokho abanakho. Hlakanipha futhi konke kuyoba kuhle.
Futhi njengoba kwakukhona isimo esinjalo, uma umuntu ecasula owesifazane, khona-ke umbuzo othi: "Ubani okufanele abe ngowokuqala ukubekezelela" akufanele neze ame, uma kukhona uthando olujulile nothando phakathi kwabo - kumele ndawonye bazame ukulungisa zonke izingxabano zabo, noma ngubani owayengumlandu wabo .