Umona - enye yezimfanelo ezingavamile, ezikwazi ukulinganisa nokuphila empilweni, futhi ngokuphambene nalokho, ukuze kube nesisusa esinamandla sokuzivuselela. Into esemqoka ukufunda ukuthi ungayiphatha kanjani. Izingane zihlupheka ngenxa yomona ongaphansi kwabadala . Indlela umona womona oyithinta ngayo impilo yengane ixhomeke ekuqaleni kokuziphatha kwabazali bakhe. Lesi sihloko sinika izeluleko eziwusizo kubazali mayelana nendlela yokuvimbela "ukumnyama" kokuqaphela kwezingane nokufundisa umona owakhayo, okufaka ekuthuthukiseni ubuntu bomntwana namakhono okuqonda.
Singasho izinto eziningi ngangokunokwenzeka kumncane ukuthi akulungile ukuba nomhawu. Kodwa isidingo sezingxoxo ezinjalo nengane yakho sifakazela - inkinga ikhona, umona wezingane. Kodwa-ke, kuleli qiniso akukho lutho olungalungile - umona ungenye yezimfanelo ezingavamile ezingabhubhisa ngokulinganayo impilo, futhi ngokuphambene nalokho, zibe yisikhuthazo esinamandla sokuzikhulisa. Into esemqoka ukufunda ukuthi ungayiphatha kanjani .
Izingane zihlupheka ngenxa yomona ongaphansi kwabadala. Futhi akukhathaleki ukuthi okokuqala ayidlala indima yamandla amnyama onke, ukuthi ukubonakaliswa kwayo kubizwa ngokuthi igama elihlekayo "ama-zawns." Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ziyakwazi ukukhula zibe yizilinganiso ezingenakuqhathaniswa nobunobuthi obubuntwaneni, ubusha, ubusha ... Ngenhlanhla, lokhu akuyona njalo indaba, ngoba umona ungenye yezimfanelo ezingavamile ezingaphazamisa impilo, futhi ngokufanayo, isisusa esinamandla sokwenza ngcono.
Imizwa yokubeletha.
Ngokombono wezengqondo, intukuthelo ayiyona engokwemvelo kumuntu , ngoba ayilwanga ngokuphilayo . Kubonakala sengathi inhlanganisela yokuhlukunyezwa nokudabuka, ngokuphendula ukungakwazi ukuthola lokho okunye, kuzalwa ngokwayo, kodwa akunjalo. Indlela yokuqhathaniswa, ukuhlaziywa, ukuthukuthela kwabanye, ukunganaki ngokwakho kuqaliswe ekuntwaneni kwasekuqaleni, futhi abazali badlala indima ebalulekile kulokhu. Kusobala ukuthi lokhu kwenzeka kungabonakali, yebo, okuphambene nokukhuluma ngokungavumeleki komona. Uma esevele ekwazi ukugxila engqondweni yengane - yisikhathi eside. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, uhlu lwezinto kuphela oluzoshintsha, indlela yokuphendula izohlala cishe efana. Amathoyizi nama-tip-senti azonwetshwa izingubo, "izintambo". Khona-ke isimo sezenhlalakahle sabazali abangabangani, ubukhona babo obujabulisayo obukhona. Ngesikhathi sokuguquka, impilo izoba nobuthi bokubonakala koontanga, "inombolo kanye nekhwalithi" yabangane babo (abafana) nabalandeli (amantombazane) ... Konke lokhu kuzokwenzeka - Yebo, uma abazali bengathandi "ukulungisa" amaphutha.
Ukuthi umona ufundiswa kubonakala ngokucacile esibonelweni somntwana omncane. Uma i-karapuzu ithanda ithoyizi, ivele ivele iphinde ithathe. Lokhu kuyisifiso esingokwemvelo kwengane, futhi, nakanjani, akaxhomeki ekungaqondani kwabanye. Kodwa kaningi kakhulu into yonke iyahamba kahle. Ngokujwayelekile "imibhikisho yomthetho" imibhikisho, isekelwa abadala. Futhi kaningi ingane ayinqatshelwe nje, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo ayiphazamisi kunoma yini enye, ayinikezi indawo eyaneleyo. Kubi kakhulu uma umama ocasuliwe egcizelela isikhundla sakhe ngokuqinisekisa "ukuthi into enikelwe yona ibaluleke ngempela futhi iyadingeka, kodwa wena, umntwana, awufanelanga (kusobala ukuthi izinkulumo zingasebenzisa izinto ezihlukahlukene, okubaluleke kakhulu, incazelo). Ngakho, kubonakala kuqinisa umzwelo. Ngolwazi lwabachwepheshe, lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi "i-anchoring". Kulula ukuqagela ukuthi ingane emva kwezinkulumo ezinjalo zemfundo yenza isiphetho esinengqondo: " Angikwanele ngokwanele (angikulungile) ."
Ukuqhathaniswa okubuhlungu kakhulu nokuqondwa kontanga - yebo, hhayi ekuthandeni ingane yakhe. "Bheka, bheka, luhlobo luni lentombazane elalelayo, futhi wena ..."; "Petya uhlakaniphe kunakho"; "Nansi isithombe esihle sikaVasya" ... Kuhle, njalonjalo. Lezi zinkulumo ezingenangqondo zifundiswa ngokushesha ukuba zihlale zamehlo kwabanye, ziziqhathanise ngokuzenzele zona, zizibandakanye emncintiswaneni ongathandabuzeki - futhi, ngokwezinga elikhulu, zihlangene, njengoba abanye ngokuvamile abazi ukuthi "amademoni" anqobe nomona. Futhi iphuzu elilodwa elibaluleke kakhulu - ngale ndlela, umama kaningi usenza kucacise ingane ukuthi ayithandi kakhulu.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, "imvubelo" enhle yokukhulumisana kwabantu abadala - lapho "amathambo ehlanzwa" ngabangane - isikhundla sabo siqhathaniswa neyabo, futhi akukhathaleki ukuthi ngabe umndeni womndeni uthini ngesitayela: "Kodwa umkakhe uNN useyisikhathi eside ... ", noma imodeli" Indlu yomakhelwane yashiswa. "I-trifle, kodwa enhle." Ukugcoba nomona kukhona izinhlangothi ezimbili zemali efanayo , futhi uma singaziqondi njalo lokhu, izingane zifunda amaphethini afanayo ngokushesha. Yiqiniso, konke lokhu kufanele kube khona enhlabathini elungiselelwe - ukuvela komona kuqondiswa kakhulu yizici zomuntu ngamunye.
Isithombe somuntu onomona.
Uma umgomo ukudweba isithombe sokubumbana kwengqondo yomuntu onomona omncane, kuyoba umuntu onokuzethemba okungezansi (noma overestimated) nokunganeliseki ngokomzwelo jikelele - kokubili kuphakama ngenxa yokuntuleka kokunakekelwa kwabazali, ukukhathazeka, uthando. Lapho ingane iphila ngokuvumelana nezwe - futhi lokhu kungenzeka kuphela uma abazali bakhe bemthanda, ngeke abe nomhawu ngalokho yena ngokwakhe "enqatshelwe." Ngeke kube nzima ngaye ukushintsha - kusukela ngokuhlulekayo, ngaphandle kwezinto ezifunwayo, kungenzeka ukuthi ukhona. Futhi uma ungeke ukwazi ukubhekana nawe, kusho - akuyona into ethize nhlobo, ayikhululekile ingxenye enkulu.
Yiqiniso, ingane ayikwazi ukuhlaziya ukuthi yini ngempela engekho futhi icele abazali ukuthi bayithande . "Ukudlala" ukuzwa amathoyizi ngakolunye uhlangothi kugcinwa umqondo obuhlungu wokuntuleka kothando, futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukufakwa kufezeke: uma ngabe ngidlala leli thuluzi, ngingajabula kakhulu. Emva kwakho konke, izinto ezibonakalayo ziba uphawu lothando nokuphila ngaphandle kokwesaba ngisho nakubantu abadala , futhi akumangalisi ukuthi izingane, ngaphandle kokuziqonda ngokwazo, zama ukuphikisana nabantu abahlakaniphile kakhulu bathi "Akusiyo ngemali injabulo."
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ezinganeni ezinokuzihlonipha okuphansi, kunesidingo esikhulu sokuzifakazela-ku-akhawunti yomuntu noma ubani, futhi ukhipha umonakalo oqoqiwe kumuntu ofunayo uba yindlela efanele. Noma kunjalo, umona ungazibonakalisa ngezindlela ezahlukene. Omunye umuntu othule ngokuthungatha "okudingekile" ukuze athole injabulo ephelele, omunye ubeka abahlukumezi abanobudlova kubazali, abafuna lokho abakufunayo. Uma ufuna ngempela ukubiza wena futhi "unenhlanhla" emalungelweni, ithoyizi elihahayo lingadalwa noma lifihliwe kumnikazi. Ukubonakaliswa okucashile okungekho ukuxhumana nomuntu onomhawu, ukumthinta ngokunganaki-futhi ungakwenza wedwa, noma ungamnyundela abangane bakho.
Ukwenza ngale ndlela, ingane isikhathi esithile ifeza lokho akufunayo, inecala lokuziqhenya namandla akhe , kodwa iyakusiza isikhashana nje. Futhi-ke ukubuyiswa kabusha okusha kuyadingeka ukuze kukhishwe "imbungu". Ekugcineni, angakwazi ukubeka phansi phansi konke okukhona komnikazi, okuthembise ukwakheka kwendlela yokuphila. Ngakho-ke kungase kube nezinhlamvu eziningi ezinhle kakhulu: "abahluphekile" - lowo owayenganakwa, akazange akhokhele amakhono akhe avelele. "Ijaji elihlukumezayo," ngenjabulo ukunikeza labo abazungezile izici zemibukiso - ikakhulukazi engabonakali. "Nkosi Nkulunkulu" - isinqumo esinqunyiwe, esilungile noma esingalungile kunoma ubani weza izinkathazo ... Yebo, futhi njengesifo sokuphefumula - "Salieri", ngaphandle kokwenza unembeza "wasuswa" endleleni yakhe yaseSolar Mozart. Ngelinye igama, kunezinhlobo eziningi ezingavamile zokuthuthukiswa kwemicimbi.
Futhi uma uqonda ukuthi ingane ingakabi "nomhawu ngomuntu odekayo" ngokugcwele, kodwa lokhu kuyithemba langempela, udinga ukuthatha isinyathelo. Kuyaziwa ukuthi inzondo isendulo "imbala" ngemibala emibili - emnyama nomhlophe. Lokhu akulona iqiniso ngokuphelele, kodwa okuningi ngalokhu kamuva. Enye into eqinisekile - lo mzwa ulungele ukulungiswa, futhi ukuthi kuthinta kanjani impilo yengane kuxhomeke, futhi, kuphela ekuziphatheni okuqhubekayo kwabazali esimweni esingathandeki.
"Ubumnyama phansi komphefumulo wami" ...
Yeka ukuphila kwakho, ukuzinikezela kuphela emicabangweni yezizwe zangaphandle, ezivame ukunyanyisa nokuphuthuma; bahlaziye futhi bazihlambalaze ngokwehluleka kwabo, noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, basola izwe lonke ngokungabi nabulungisa - konke lokhu kuyinkatho yomuntu "omnyama" onomona. Kusobala ukuthi ngalezi zilungiselelo kunzima kakhulu ukuqaphela ngokugcwele, ukudala umndeni ojabulayo futhi ukhulise izingane ezigcwele . Ngenhlanhla, ukuvimbela "ukunyamala" kwengqondo yezingane akulona nzima kakhulu, kwanele ukuthi ungavumeli amaphutha.
Okokuqala, yiqiniso, ungalokothi uqhathanise impumelelo yengane yakho nokuphumelela kontanga . AmaJapan anesihawu ngomuntu othile kuncane. Futhi cishe, indima ebalulekile kulokhu idlala izici zemfundo yokufunda kwamazwe aseNtshonalanga. Lapha kuyisiko ukuqhathanisa ingane kuphela, futhi uqaphele ukuthi angakuzuza kanjani uma kuqhathaniswa nesikhathi esithile esidlule sempilo yakhe . Le ndlela ayivumeli ukuthuthukiswa komzwelo, ngokuphambene nokuphumelela komuntu oyedwa. Ukuhamba emgwaqeni, ungazami izingubo ezivela ehlombe lomunye umuntu, kulula kakhulu ukuba ingane ilahleke umuzwa ongajabulisayo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungayilawuli ngokuqinile ingane , futhi mvumele, ngokuqonda kwakhe, ukuba alahle okungenani "impahla." Kusobala ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuthi umama uzojabula ngokufunda ngokushintshaniswa kwamathoyizi abizayo ngeqoqo lezigxivizo, kepha ukuveza izimangalo zomntwana futhi "ukukhansela isivumelwano" kuye kunikezwa ngokucacile - wena nakho konke okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, impahla yethu ephelele. Kuvela ukuthi amathoyizi abonakala sengathi anikezwe wona, empeleni angabantwana, futhi izinyane alinalutho onalo ngempela futhi likwazi ukulahla ngaphandle kokubuka abadala. Futhi njengoba izingane zilalela abantu abadala ngokulinganayo, asikho isidingo sokugcizelela leli qiniso futhi.
Kodwa-ke, kuyiphutha ukucabanga ukuthi umona uhamba ngokuzenzakalelayo uma umntwana enikezwa konke okungahlinzekwa ngokufunwa. Le ndlela injenge "ukuthengwa", uma ukupha kwabazali kungabonakali uthando, kodwa ukungafuni ukulalela ngokungathí sina ingane nokuqonda izinkinga zakhe . Akusizi ngalutho ukuthi le ndlela ayiveli - umfanekiso ophelele we-movie ethi "Toy" noPeter Richard. Lesi simo sinobudlelwane obuqondile nomona - emva kwakho konke, siphindaphinda, ekuqaleni kuvela ekungabikho kokunakekelwa nothando. Ngakho ukuqagela kungabonisa kuphela impande yenkinga, kodwa hhayi ukuyixazulula. Kulesi simo, ungangeni kwesinye isikhathi, ungenelele ingane ukuba ibone impilo njengempahla yemingcele: lokhu akunakwenzeka, kuyingozi; khona-ke kusheshe kakhulu; kodwa akutholi nje, futhi ungangihlukumezi, nginesimo sengqondo esibi.
"Ukuklanywa Kwesikhumba"
Indlela yokufundisa ingane ukuqondisa umhawu ngenzuzo yakhe futhi, ngenxa yalokho, kwabanye ? Yiqiniso, okokuqala, kubalulekile ukulungisa ubuhlobo emndenini bese uzama ukunikeza ingane imfudumalo nokunaka . Kulungile, bese ulandela njengoba kuvela izinkinga. Uma udinga okuthile okubonakalayo, futhi abazali bayakubona ukuthi lokho akuyona into engenalutho, kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu, kungani ungayithengi? Sisalokhu sivakashela ngokungapheli yonke "imihlaba yezingane", futhi kunezizathu eziningi. Nokho, lena akuyona indlela kuphela yokuphuma. Ungakwazi, isibonelo, ukuchaza ngokuthula ukuthi ukuthenga akunakwenzeka, okuholela izingxabano ezinkulu - hhayi nje ukuhlazisa ingane. Noma-uma ushintshanisa ngempela into enqwenelayo - mfundisa ukuthi akwenze. Futhi uma, isibonelo, imizwelo emibi ibangelwa ukhiye wekhadibhodi wombala owenziwe umngane, kungani ungahlanganisi imizamo futhi udale into ehlaba umxhwele ngokufanayo?
Kodwa umona wezinto ezingewona izinto - empumelelweni yomuntu, ukubukeka ngokuvamile kuyisisusa somsebenzi obizayo ngokwakho - kanye nezingane nazo . Ngaphezu kwalokho, imizwa enjalo ivame ukuba yisisusa esihle kakhulu sokuthola isisombululo esheshayo kunenkinga ethile, noma kunjalo, kuboniswa ngokucacile, okumele kukhishwe - kusobala ukuthi bayabona kuphela okubalulekile, okusobala ukuthi ayikho. Futhi, ekuxazululeni inkinga ephuthumayo, umuntu angakwazi ukufundisa hhayi kuphela ukufeza eyakhe, ukuya emgomweni, kodwa futhi ukwenza ngaphandle kokuthile, ukuqeda ukucabanga, futhi naphezu kwakho konke ujabule ngempumelelo yomakhelwane wakho . Ungazisebenzisi ngokuqinisekisayo "kodwa": Yebo, awuzange uwine, kepha ufunda izinkondlo kahle. Lesi simo sengqondo, esiphindaphindiwe ngaso sonke isikhathi, ngokuvamile sifaka isandla ekubeni ingane ingabi nandaba, ayikwazi ukufeza indoda yakhe encane. Kungcono ukusebenzisa elinye ifomula - " naphezu kwalokhu ." Yebo, ngalesi sikhathi kwakungenakwenzeka, kodwa naphezu kwalokhu usenamakhono, uhlakaniphile, ngokuqinisekile uzowina ngesikhathi esizayo.
Kunezinketho eziningi zokuxazulula izixazululo, futhi yiziphi zazo ezizobe zisindisa ingane ukuthi ixazululwe kalula ngabazali. Into eyodwa eqinisekile - akudingeki wenze sengathi inkinga ayikho, ukududuza abathandekayo bakho ngamazwi avamile "akukho lutho lokugabha" -ngokuba uma kukhona ubufakazi, kufanele ubhekane nazo, kanye nemizamo ehlanganisiwe.
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