Kuthiwani uma umngane wakho oseduze engumgungqikazi nesifo sokucindezeleka? Ukusekela noma, ngokuphambene nalokho, zama ukufundisa kabusha? Ngokuqinisekile kukhona ububele, uthando kanye nomthwalo wemfanelo kuwo, kodwa ngaso sonke isikhathi kuphazamisa yonke into ngokuziphatha kwayo okubi njalo. Yini okufanele uyenze ngokungahambi kahle? Kungenzeka yini ukushintsha umuntu onjalo?
Kuyini ukubonakaliswa kokungathembeki?
Abafayo bangabantu abangakwazi ngaso leso sikhathi ukuchoboza nokubhubhisa noma yimuphi umqondo. Izwe labo liqukethe amathoni amakhulu kuphela, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, bathi bayakwazi ukuthi kungani bengatholi lokho ababekuhlosile. Bahlale bekhononda ngokuphila, futhi isimo sabo esibi sidlulela kubathandekayo. Abacindezeli, ezingeni elingenakuqaphela, bakhethe lo mpilo kusengaphambili ukufakazela lokhu noma ukwehluleka kusengaphambili bese uhlala futhi ungenzi lutho. Kungani kufanele ungcolile izandla zakho noma ucabange ngekhanda lakho uma ungakutholi?
Noma yikuphi ukukhathazeka okwesaba ukwabelana nabanye ngenjabulo nenjabulo yakhe, ucabanga ukuthi kusukela kulokhu injabulo yakhe iyoba encane futhi ngesikhathi esisodwa sikhule - ngeke kube khona lutho. Kubonakala sengathi u-jinxing ngokwakhe. Abantu abanethemba lokukholelwa bakholelwa ezimpawu ezihlukahlukene, isibonelo, "uma uhleka kakhulu kusihlwa, kusasa uzokhala," "uma wabelana ngemigomo nezinhlelo zakho, konke kuzohamba kahle futhi akukho lutho oluzovela ngokushesha." Kungenxa yalesi sizathu ukuthi babelane nabantu abakuzungezile abanemizwa emihle, injabulo ngenjabulo, kodwa nge "izilonda", ukugcoba nokuhluleka.
Ngokuvamile izidakamizwa zizama ukuxhumana nabantu abalungile ukuze zithole amandla kubo. Kodwa-ke, umuntu omuhle ngumuntu omuhle. Yeka ukuthi ungamthandi kangakanani, angeke abe yi-zhizneredostnym encane futhi adidekile, kodwa lowo ongathandabuzi ngeke angeze injabulo, ngoba umphefumulo ugcwele ukunganaki futhi akukho okuzoshintsha. Umuntu onesifo sokungabi namuntu onomfazi noma owesifazane othandekayo, zonke izinhlelo ezikhanyayo, imigomo nemibono yesiqingatha sesibili zizokwenza ngokushesha, ziphule futhi zidwebe omnyama!
Kukhona, Yebo, ama-pluses kubantu abanjalo, basemsebenzini womndeni othembekile, ozinzile futhi olungele ukubhekana nezinkinga. Kodwa-ke, ukuze uphile ngokujwayelekile ngesilisa ongathandabuzeki, kudingeka ube namakhono akhethekile: ukuze ungakwazi ukutheleleka ngemikhuba emibi, kodwa, ngokuphambene, hhayi ukulalela endaweni ethile, esimweni esithile, ukusekela, ukukhuthaza, mhlawumbe ngisho nokuhlukanisa endaweni ethile. Uma ungenakukwenza lokhu noma ucabange ukuthi awukwazi ukuphila njengalokhu konke ukuphila kwakho, ungazami noma yikuphi okungcono, kungenjalo ukungazithembi kuzokuthinta.
Zikhona yini izindebe zomlomo ezithandweni zesilisa?
I-pessimist i-vampire yamandla. Noma kunjalo, izici ezinhle nazo ziyatholakala. Bona ngokwabo bayakwazi ukwabelana nosizi lomunye, okungukuthi, bangaba kalula emvuthweni ofanayo. Bamukela kalula ukushiyeka kwesigamu sesibili, ngoba bayaqonda ukuthi bonke abaphelele noma mhlawumbe bacabanga ukuthi ukuphila kwabo kuyisihlungu esiqhubekayo, futhi yizona ezingcono kakhulu ezingafaneleki. Abacindezeli abanqabile kakhulu ukushintsha nokushiya imindeni yabo. Bangabantu abathintekayo, abacabangelayo, abasebenza kanzima, bazi ukuthi bahlela kanjani amaqiniso, futhi bacabange ngendlela efanele. Abazami ukubalekela ubunzima, becabanga ukuthi kufanele kube njalo, abaqali ukufuna indlela yokuphuma, lapho bazohlala khona kangcono futhi "behle". Abafayo bangabalandeli abahle kakhulu nabameli. Bavame ukuziqamba amasiko athile akhethekile futhi babambe. Lokhu kuyasiza futhi kubalulekile kubo.
Nokho, ukuze ukwazi ukuziphatha naye, umuntu kufanele anqume uhlobo lwakhe.
Yiziphi izidakamizwa?
Ulaka
Bathukuthele ngokuhleka, ukumomotheka noma ngisho nezintshisekelo zothando. Baqiniseka ukuthi konke lokhu akuyona yangempela, nje umdlalo. Wonke amaphupho kanye nethembiso kubo - kungumphupho nje, "akukho lutho olunjalo," bayothi. Noma yiluphi uhlobo lomdlandla amadoda anjalo angakwazi ukukhipha ibinzana lawo ngamabhakede amanzi umdlalo. Yebo, zigcwele amandla, kodwa ngalokhu amandla azibhubhisa amahle, amathemba, amapulani, amaphupho, injabulo. Mhlawumbe ngisho ubonise ukuthuka nokuthukuthela. Abantu abathandana nabo, njengomthetho, baba ngemva kokunciphisa okukhulu ekuphileni.
I-Passive
Abantu abanjalo bacindezelekile, bekhathazeka futhi badumala kukho konke futhi nhlobo. Abalokothi babeke imibono yabo nemibono yabo emhlabeni, abantu kanye nezimo, kodwa uma ufuna ukwabelana ngamaphupho akho namaphupho nomuntu onjalo, qiniseka ukuthi unikezwe isimo sengqondo esibi, ukukhathazeka ngokushesha futhi ukutshela ukuthi kungani kungenakwenzeka. Bahlale bekhononda futhi bekhala! Abakaze benze izinqumo ngokwabo, ngoba abazi ukuthi bangalindela kanjani kuze kube yilapho umuntu ebenzela khona. Abacindezeli bacabanga ukuthi abanamandla amancane, ngakho bazama ukukudla kwabanye abantu. Ngokuvamile lokhu kungenxa yomthethosisekelo obuthakathaka wengqondo.
Umthethosisekelo
Kukholelwa ukuthi kokubili ukukhathazeka nokuziphendulela kuncike kakhulu ekusebenzeni komzimba. Ukukhathazeka kuyisimiso sezinzwa ezibuthakathaka esingazalwa, lapho izinqubo zokuvimbela kanye nezinga eliphansi le-serotonin lihamba phambili. Laba bantu sebevele bazalwa kanjalo futhi abanakusizwa ngalokhu. Bacabanga ukuthi impilo ayenzi lutho, futhi uma ichitha into ethile, izongena ngokushesha enkingeni, hhayi nje eyodwa. Lokhu kuzuzwe njengefa.
I-Creative
Ukwenza olunye uhlangothi oluhle, badinga ukuhlupheka. U-Muza ubavakashela kuphela lapho bezwa ukuhluleka ngokomzwelo nokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo. Ziyizingqondo, izimo ezibucayi nezicashile. Zizibekela imigomo engenakufinyeleleka. Lokho abakwenzayo: izingoma, izithombe, umculo kwenza abantu bavakashele umhlaba wabo ogcwele ukukhathazeka. Yebo, umsebenzi wabo uyamangalisa, kodwa, ngeshwa, awunandaba. Mhlawumbe badinga ukukhawulwa komlingo, ngenxa yokuthi bazobe sebebuyiselwe emuva futhi baqale ukudala ku-wave of positive.
Ukulahlekelwa
Abamele lolu hlobo lwezintatheli bakholelwa ukuthi izwe alithandane kakhulu kuphela. Isimo sengqondo sabo sengqondo somuntu siqu sibavimbela ukuba baphile. Ngesinye isikhathi baziphefumulele ngokwabo ukuthi balahlekile, futhi manje lokhu kufakwa kuchitha kancane ukuphila kwabo. Njengomthetho, amadoda anjalo ngokuzimela avumela abantu baqonde ukuthi badinga ukuphathwa kabi. Noma kunjalo, yiziphi izinto ezimbi abazicabangela ngazo, zigcwaliseka njalo. Ukuze baphile ngokujwayelekile, abamele lolu hlobo kumele bashintshe izinkolelo zabo.
Ukuhlobene nobudala
Phakathi neminyaka, umsebenzi wezinqubo zezinzwa wehla, amadoda amaningi kangaka abe yizifo ezinzima. Ababoni lutho olusha, ngakho-ke baqeda ngokushesha zonke izindlela zokushintsha empilweni futhi bafune lula kulokho. Ngokuvamile abameleli balolu hlobo baqala ukubamba ukukhathazeka iminyaka eminingi emva kweminyaka engu-40-45 kanti lokhu kwenzeka uma umuntu engaboni umqondo empilweni, akazange akwazi ukubeka imigomo phambi kwakhe, akatholanga amathuba amasha okuthuthukiswa. Ungamsiza umuntu onjalo kuphela uma unomusa, unobtrusively ukumsiza ukuba abone ama-horizons amasha namathuba.
Kodwa abesifazane emva kweminyaka engama-45, njengombuso, ngokuphambene nalokho, baqokelwe ukuzethemba. Baqala ukuziphilela, bavuleke futhi bangazi lutho. Cishe uzwe leli zwi: 45 - owesifazane futhi!
Ukuhlala nomuntu-we-pessimist? Indlela yokuxhumana naye?
Izazi zengqondo zithi cishe akunakwenzeka ukushintsha abantu abanjalo. Kodwa-ke, uma umthanda ngobuqotho ngenhliziyo yakho yonke, futhi ufuna ukuhlobisa impilo yakhe - phambili. Nanka amanye amathiphu kuwe:
- Fundisa ukungaqiniseki kwakho ngalokho okudingayo ukuze uphile namuhla, ngaphandle kokucabanga ukuthi kusasa noma inyanga kungaba yimbi. Zama ukufaka kuye injabulo yezinto ezincane zokuphila - ubuhle bemvelo, injabulo yokuxhumana kanye ne-takdalee.
- Ngokuvamile amadoda anjalo abukela amafilimu adabukile futhi afunde izincwadi ezifanayo. Phakamisa ukubona i-comedy, ufake endaweni evelele yezincwadi ezinhle, ezigcwele amahlaya.
- Mfundise ukuthi lo muntu ongenalwazi uyafuna lokho angakwazi ukukukhokhela, futhi othembekile angenza lokho akufunayo. Uma yena ngokwakhe evumela izimangaliso ukuba zenzeke, khona-ke zizokwenzeka. Kungenzeka, okubaluleke kakhulu ukufuna.
- Ukuhleka njalo. Uma uqala ukutshela futhi ukuthi konke kuphutha futhi, futhi lapho awukwenzi ukupheka futhi awuphekiwe lapha, uhumushe konke kube yihlaya.
- Thola into enesimo esibuhlungu esisetha injabulo: ukugeza olwandle, isinkwa esizenzela, umculo we-classical, uhlezi ebhentshini nge sesemchkami. Manje lokhu kungukuphila kwakho, yenza konke kanye naye futhi njalo ngangokunokwenzeka. Gcizelela ukuthi uhlonipha amanani ayo futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo uvule ama-horizons amasha.