Eqinisweni, "isibili sokuzalwa komshado" kuvame ukubizwa ngokuthi uhambo emva komshado wesibili, lapho abashadile behlela umshado wangempela, lapho baphinde bafunga ukuthi bathandana futhi bashintshe izindandatho. Ezimweni eziningi zokubhuka okunjalo umkhosi ungenye yezinsiza ezinikezwa izivakashi. Noma kunjalo, kuphi okungcono ukuchitha i-honeymoon?
Kodwa-ke, njengoba ukuphila okuhlangene kungenza ngaphandle komshado, futhi okwesibili ukuzalwa komshado - ngaphandle komkhosi okhethekile. Kwanele nje ukuthi unqume ukuhamba endaweni ethile kude nezwe, noma okungenani nje ngaphandle kwedolobha, cisha amafoni futhi uzinike isikhathi sonke komunye nomunye. Futhi izinzuzo zeholide elinjalo zingase zibe ezinkulu. Kakhulu kangangokuthi, kuthi, eMalaysia, iziphathimandla zikahulumeni zikaTerengganu zamemezela ukuthi zizokhokha amaholide ahlangene kuwo wonke imibhangqwana engezansi yesahlukaniso. Kodwa-ke, ukuze uthole amaholidi anjalo mahhala, akwanele nje ukumemezela inhloso yakho yokuhlukanisa - udinga ukuhlolwa okukhethekile. Ngokusho kwabameleli baseMalaysia, bahamba ngenxa yokuthi ukuhlukana komndeni "kushaya izingane" futhi "kunemiphumela emibi emphakathini."
Ngaphandle kwemizuzu emihlanu, isahlukaniso siyisimo esibi kakhulu, lapha ngokuvamile uhambo olulodwa oluya eMaldives aluxazulula inkinga. Kulula kakhulu ukuhlela okwesibili ukuzalwa kwezinyanga (kanye neyesithathu nesine), nje ukuzwa ukuthi emndenini "kukhona okungahambi kahle." Akuyona ingozi ukuthi abesifazane bayisiqalo sazo zihambo: ngenxa yokuzwela okukhulu ngokomzwelo, ubulili obuhle kaningi buvamise ngababili njengengxenye "ye-barometer" elandela ukushintshwa kwesimo sezulu esivumelwaneni. Noma kunjalo, isinqumo sokushiya kufanele sithathwe ndawonye, njengazo zonke ezinye izinqumo eziphathelene nalaba ababili - lokhu akusho.
Isikhathi sesibili sokuzalwa kwezingane sivame ukushiwo yi-psychotherapists yomndeni - uma bebona ukuthi ayikho izinkinga ezijulile kulesibili, futhi lezo ezitholakalayo zingathuthukiswa ukulungiswa okunjalo. Amaklayenti amaningi, kodwa, kufanele akholelwe ukuthi kuwufanelekile ukuzama, ngoba baqala ukubuza imibuzo: "Sizokwenzenjani lapho? Futhi ngizoba yini kulokhu? ". Lokhu kubuzwa ngabantu abanengqondo, abanesidingo abafuna izinzuzo kukho konke. Ngakho-ke bayayiphutha imizwa, izwe lomzwelo njengento engavamile. Futhi bhekani kungcono ukuthembela ekuhlangenwe nakho, hhayi ngezinkolelo: uma uzame kanyekanye empilweni iholide engathwali imigomo ye-pragmatic, ngisho nemiklomelo enjalo "itshalwe" kuyo njengomuthi.
Ukunciphisa imizwa ingenye yezizathu eziyinhloko eziholela emibhangqwaneni emahhovisi ama-psychotherapist kanye nama-ejenti okuhamba ekutheni athole izindawo zothando zokuzilibazisa. Akusiyo imfihlakalo ukuthi ngeminyaka yokuhlala ndawonye, ukuthanda ubudlelwane kubuthana, ukukhathala kwezinkinga zansuku zonke kuningi, futhi uma kunezingane, abanye abashadile abashiyi isikhathi sabo kanye nomunye. Yiqiniso, lokhu akukwazi kodwa kuthinta ubudlelwano bobulili. Ngezocansi emva kweminyaka eminingana yokuphila komshado kukhona ngisho nesikhathi esikhethekile esingathandeki - isimiso socansi. Ukuziphatha ngokobulili kuyindlela enjalo yokuphila ngokocansi, lapho ozakwethu bebazi kusengaphambili ukuthi yisiphi isenzo socansi esidlula kusukela ekuqaleni kokuqedwa.
Isimo esinjalo sivame ukuthuthukiswa ezinyangeni zokuqala zokuphila okuhlangene, lapho ababili belele embhedeni bazana, badonsa amabalazwe ahlukene ezindawo eziyingozi, bafunde izindlela zokufeza i-orgasm. Ngesilingo nesiphambeko, kusetshenziselwa amasu angenazinkinga: kuphi ukukhathazeka, ukuphika, ukuphi isigamu sokuhamba, ukuze uthole injabulo eqinisekisiwe. Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiwe lesi script sisetshenzisiwe, ngokushesha injabulo iyanyamalala: umuzwa wokuthi uma ugcwalisa uma ugcwalisa i-caresses nokunyakaza kuyanyamalala, injabulo yokusesha, injabulo yokuthola iyanyamalala. Lapha yilapho isibili sezinyosi ziza khona, umuntu ohlakaniphile owazi kahle ukuthi yonke into entsha iguqulwe ngaphansi koqweqwe lwezinto ezingadingekile.
Imfundo yezinzwa
Ngokuvamile, echaza imizwa yabo ngemva kweminyaka eminingana yomshado, lo mbhangqwana bayamangala: "Uthando lwanyamalalaphi? Kubonakala sengathi ayikho ndawo, kodwa kungani kungenjalo ngaphambili? "Imizwa ayidabuli ngempela uma ekuqaleni yayinamandla ngokwanele futhi ejulile. Ngishadile kuphela, izwe lethu lihlelwe ngendlela ehluke kakhulu, futhi singabomunye nomunye - asisekho indoda nowesifazane, yibo kuphela emhlabeni wonke, kodwa umyeni nomfazi (ngisho noma umshado ungumbuso). Ubuhlobo "owesilisa-wesifazane" buyintandokazi ngokwemvelo, futhi "umyeni-mfazi" uhlala ekhaya, ehlala emphakathini. Ukugcwaliseka kwemisebenzi yansuku zonke nemisebenzi kugcwele isikhathi sethu kangangokuthi asanele ukuveza imizwa yethu. Futhi into eyinhloko eyake yaxhuma lo mbhangqwana, yathuthela esikhathini esizayo esikude, nakuba ingakaze iphele. Uthando aluhambanga, kodwa alukho indawo esimisweni sethu esimatasa. Emshadweni, ayikho indawo yemikhuba yokuthandana - ayinalutho, ngoba ababili sebevele bathole futhi benqobile. Futhi uma wengeza futhi iqiniso lezokwelapha ukuthi uneminyaka yobudala besilisa nabesifazane, ukukhiqizwa kwama-hormone ezocansi kunciphisa - ungamangazi ukuthi ubulili emva kweminyaka eyishumi yomshado akufani nesikhathi sokuzalwa komshado.
Ngezikhathi zokuhlala ezihlangene, omunye nomunye uba ngaphezulu kakhulu - ngenxa nje yokuthi azihlelwe yimisebenzi yethu yansuku zonke, asele kwenye impilo. Futhi-ke indawo yemizila esebenzayo kanye nezimo zenziwe ngcono. Unganika omunye nomunye, noma yiziphi izibonakaliso zokunaka, ugijime emigwaqweni emincane emadolobheni angajwayelekile, ugeza ndawonye, ufune ubunye ebhishi ebusuku ... Ngokuvamile abashadile bayajabula ukuthola ukuthi esimweni esinjalo isifiso sokwenza omunye mnandi kubo silingane ngokuqinile, njengasezinyangeni zokuqala zokuzijwayeza. Ngisho nokukhathazeka emimoyeni yabantu kungavulwa umnyango, ngemuva kwawo okuyizinto ezingenakulondolozwa.
Akumangalisi ukuthi ngokuvamile kuvame ukuthandana ngenhloso "yemizwa evuselelayo" imibhangqwana enezingane ezindala kakade iqalile: ukungabi nesidingo sokunakekela inzalo kukhulula isikhathi esiningi samahhala. Futhi kucacile ukuthi kungani imfashini yesibili yokuzalwa komshado ifika kithi evela eNtshonalanga. Kuvele nje lapho kukhishwa izingane ukuya empilweni ezizimele ekuqaleni kwesikhathi - nje kuphela lapho zonke izikweletu zikhokhwa, futhi ungazisebenzisa imali ngonembeza onokuthula. Ngokuqondene nobulili be-conjugal, ukungabi nalesi simo kuyamthonya kakhulu. Uma imidlalo yokuthandazwa inganikezwa isigamu sehora ngeSonto ekuseni, kodwa okungenani iwashi, i-fantasy iqala ukusebenza ngamandla onke - noma ngabe ekuqaleni ilahlekelwe inkululeko engakaze ibe khona kuze kube manje. Eqinisweni, abaningi ukuze babone ukuzwa okungakahleleki, kwanele nje ukushintsha indawo: kusuka embhedeni womshado kuya ejacuzzi yehhotela, ibhishi elithekile, itende ehlathini, ngisho negumbi lesitimela noma indlu yangasese yendiza. Ukuguquka esimweni kuhlale kuthakazelisayo, nokuba khona kwamaphesenti athile e-adrenaline abaningi abazuzisa kuphela.
Ngakho-ke, singasho ukuthi sibuyela ezinyangeni zokuqala zokuzijwayeza futhi sizama, kepha manje sesimdala futhi sinolwazi, sesivele sikwazi ukuchaza kumlingani lokho esikufunayo embhedeni. Ngisho noma kufanele wenze lokhu hhayi ngombhalo oqondile, kodwa ngokubheka ngokuhlanganyela kwefilimu ethandwayo noma izithombe zobulili ezingcolile (emahoreni amahle zihlala zikhona ezithakazelisayo phakathi kweqoqo leziteshi ze-TV), zishayela emaphepheni, zifundela ezinye izigcawu "ezishisayo" ezivela ezincwadini ezifundwayo, zihamba ezitolo zobulili. Kunamadolobha namazwe lapho umuntu angakwazi ukuhamba khona emidlalweni emidlalweni ekhethekile - Paris, Amsterdam, Thailand ...
Ngaphezu kwalokho, eholidini, kungenzeka ukuthi unganaki ukunakekelwa kwezwe langaphandle elicasulayo, elizama futhi ukusibiza ngeselula kungasuswa isikhathi esiphundu kakhulu. Ukuzwa ukukhathazeka nokwesaba, okuyinto ngezinye izikhathi esingenakuqeda ukuxokozeleka kokukhathazeka kwansuku zonke, kuba yize, ngoba iholidi lichaza isimo njengendlela ephephile futhi ekhululekile ngangokunokwenzeka. Ikakhulukazi kusiza ukuphumula ubulili obuhle. Owesifazane uthola isimo sokuvukela ngokocansi, ngokungafani nendoda, kancane kancane, futhi angasuswa kulo mhlaba ngokukhathazeka okuncane. Amadoda, nakuba ahlelwe ngendlela ehlukile, afana kakhulu nathi kulokhu, njengoba bakholelwa okwamanje. Yebo, indoda enempilo ifezekisa ngokushelela ngokushesha futhi kalula, kodwa inkulumo encane engangenandaba nomlingani noma ucingo oluvela kubaphathi bayo lingamqeda unomphela umuntu onokwethenjelwa emakhono akhe ezocansi ngisho nesifiso sobulili. Ngakho-ke, umthetho "vala amafoni!" - okwesibili yensimbi yensimbi. Okungcono, i-intanethi ingcono ukuthi ingahambi, futhi ungafundi amaphephandaba. Futhi, ngempela - ngokusemthethweni, hhayi ukuhudula emndenini wezinkinga zokusebenza ngokufaka isikhathi esengeziwe noma ukuxoxisana ngezinto zebhizinisi efonini lasekhaya ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa kusuka ekudleni.
I-fly in the amafutha e-ointment
Akekho ozokwazi ukuphazamisa lolu hlobo lwe-honeymoon njengalokhu lungenakwenzeka. Okokuqala, ukungathandi kwethu ukuyeka izinkinga ze "ngaphandle kwezwe". Lokhu akuthinti abantu bebhizinisi kuphela, kodwa abomama abangenalutho, ngisho nangesikhathi socansi nabathandekayo bakho bekhathazeka: kanjani kukhona ingane? Ngisho noma "umntwana" usevele usemusha futhi uyazi ukuthi angayinakekela kanjani. Ukuvimbela isimo esinjalo, kuyinto efiselekayo ukulungisa zonke izindaba ngaphambi kohambo: ukubhekana nezinkinga zemisebenzi, ukuhlela ngokucophelela ingane - ekamu lehlobo noma ngezihlobo. Kodwa into esemqoka - futhi kunzima kakhulu - ukuzama, ekugcineni, ukuqonda ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukulawula konke okusemhlabeni, futhi nje ukhululeke.
Abaningi bethu bakwazi ukuhamba nabo ngohambo lomshado inqwaba yezinkathazo nokwesaba ngokubuyisela kulabo abasele ekuphileni okuvamile. Isibonelo, sesaba ukuziphatha ngokulala ngokukhululekile: kuthiwani uma umuntu oye waba nomuntu onesizotha ngaso sonke isikhathi uyokucabangela? Ngokungazelelwe uzocabangela izifiso zakho ezimbi? Eqinisweni, njengoba umkhuba ubonisa, uma umlingani wakho emangale, khona-ke lokhu kuyimangalisa emnandi. Cishe, uzojabula nje ukwazi ukuthi uzoba yini uma ungadingi ukudlala indima nezifanekiso.
Kodwa kwenzeke ukuthi "imidlalo" enjalo ayenziwa hhayi embhedeni kuphela, kodwa futhi ekuphileni. Singabonisa abashadile abajabulayo nabazali abanakekelayo, kodwa ngasese asinanto yokusho komunye nomunye. Ngokuvamile lokhu kubonakaliswa ngesikhathi sesibili sokuzalwa kwezinyanga, lapho isidingo sokudlala indima sinyamalalala futhi kuba sobala ukuthi ngesikhathi esisodwa sasihlanganisiwe hhayi ngomzwelo, kodwa ngomsebenzi ohlangene, ukuzwelana komusa noma ukukhuliswa kwengane. Futhi lapho imikhosi ehlela ukubhekana kwethu kwangempela - sibona ukuthi ngemuva kwabo kwakungekho nhlobo. Lapha ke-ke, i-honeymoon iphenduka into ehlukile: esikhundleni seminyaka eminingi ejabulisayo, sinenqubo yesehlukaniso ngaphambi kwethu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lokhu akujabulisi, ngakolunye uhlangothi - akuyazi ukuthi umshado owakhiwe isikhathi eside kangakanani ekuqondeni komunye nomunye kungadlulela?