Okufakiwe okwethulwayo
I-syndrome yamacala okuhlehlisa "ngokuhamba kwesikhathi", kuze kufike isikhathi sokuqina kakhulu futhi ngeke iphoqe ukuthatha isinyathelo ngokushesha futhi isheshe - isitayela sokuziphatha sesikhathi sethu. Kuye kwavela ngisho nesikhathi esithile esikhethekile - ukugwema isikhathi. Igama lifana nenkulumo eyaziwa ngokuthi "Umbhede we-Procrustean" - yinto edingekayo ukuze uthole ubukhulu obukhulu, kungenjalo uzophoqelelwa kulo ngokusula noma ukukhipha imilenze yakho. Kuvela emazwini esiLatini pro ("esikhundleni, phambili") kanye nokuhlaselwa ("kusasa"). Ukuziqhenya akuyona nje ukuhlehliswa kokuqala kwecala emcimbini wokugcina, kodwa ukugcwaliswa kwesikhathi ngaphambi kwalokhu ngezindaba ezihlukahlukene ezingadingekile kodwa ezinomthombo wemithombo. Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokubhala umbiko odingekayo, sifunda i-news line, siphuza ikhofi, senza umuthi womuntu, sibheke izithombe zabangani ku-Odnoklassniki ... Lezi zinto ezithakazelisayo, noma kunjalo, zingakwazi ukuzinikela esinye isikhathi mahhala ebhizinisini. Kubonakala sengathi siyazi lokhu, kodwa kungani, akukho lutho olushukumisayo? Futhi kuhle, sizobe sibhekana nomsebenzi kuphela, lapho ingozi iqukethe kuphela intukuthelo yeziphathimandla nokunciphisa ibhonasi yekota. Ngokuvamile siyashesha ngisho nalapho impilo yethu noma ngisho nempilo ixhomeke ebhizinisini elisha - isibonelo, sihlehlisela uhambo kudokotela ngaphambi kokuba singabekezeleleki, kepha kuyoba nzima nakakhulu ukuphulukisa. Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi izimbangela zangempela zokuqeda, kanye nezindlela eziphumelelayo zokuthi "ukwelashwa" kwazo, zisabonakala ezingqondweni zezengqondo. Ngokusobala, kuhlotshaniswa nokucindezeleka nokukhathazeka, kepha lokhu kwenzeka ngokungahambi kahle (ongakaphoqelelwa okwamanje) noma ukuthembela ngokuqondile akucaci. Izindlela ezihlukahlukene zokuzithiba ezichazwe esikhathini sokuphatha izikhathi empeleni ziphumelela ngokuphumelela okuhlukile, ngoba ukusebenza nabo ngokuqondile kuxhomeke emandleni afanayo okungahambisani nokuqala kokuphila okusha.
Isihluthulelo esingaba khona emfihlakalo yokuqeda ukukhipha isakhiwo sokuqala kwayo. Ukuhlehlisela icala ngokuhamba kwesikhathi "kusho ukuthi sithatha ubukhona bale" ngemuva ". Abantu abakudala babelindele "ukuphefumulelwa" kwenganekwane, konke okunye "yizimo ezifanele zomsebenzi ... Ngamafuphi, sonke silinde ukude okude okuzosiletha amandla okusebenza esitsheni sesiliva. Futhi ukuqamba ukuthi akukho muntu ode kakhulu, noma omuhle noma omubi, akakho. Kukhona kuphela namuhla futhi manje. Isihluthulelo ebuhlotsheni ngekusasa sisekhona okwamanje. Uma udokotela esebenza nomuntu ongakwazi ukuqala ibhizinisi elisha noma ukushintsha okuthile empilweni yakhe, umuntu kufanele enze uhlu lwezinto azinazo okwamanje. Yini umuntu anayo, yiziphi izidingo zakhe lapha futhi manje, kungani efuna ukuthatha isinyathelo esibalulekile futhi unquma kanjani ukuthi lesi sinyathelo sidinga ngempela ukwenza? Ukuphila kwakhe kungashintsha kanjani ngalesi sinyathelo? Umsebenzi oyinhloko ukwamukela lokho onakho manje, bese ucabanga ukuthi ingashintshwa kanjani. Futhi ukwamukelwa kwamanje akusho ukuthi siye sahlangana naye. Ngokuphambene nalokho, kulokhu siqala ukubona ngokucacile izenzakalo ezimbi zokuphila kwethu kwamanje futhi siqonde ukuthi iyiphi indlela yokuziguqula.
Uma siqaphela iqiniso lokuthi asihlali esikhathini esizayo, kodwa okwamanje, kuzokuba lula ukulwa nokuqeda. Sizokwazi ukuthi ngeke kube khona umlingo "othukuzayo" ozokwenza ukuba kwenzeke umsebenzi, futhi umsondolozi omude owalinde isikhathi eside emaphikweni ngeke eze noma. Abalobi abaphumelelayo abalindeli ukuphefumlelwa, kodwa bahlale phansi usuku lonke ikhompyutha bese ubhala. Umsebenzi usuqedile uma lowo owenzayo kungomzuzwana wamanje, hhayi esikhathini esizayo, lapho umsebenzi usebenza khona, ngaphandle komzamo kithi. Ukuziqhenya ngokuvamile kubhekene nabangaphelele: nge-design ngayinye entsha, kuhilela ukwesaba ukuthi imiphumela ngeke ibe yinto enhle, futhi kuzodingeka ihlale ipholile. Yingakho behlehlisa umsebenzi kuze kube umzuzwana wokugcina. Kodwa ngomphumela "omuhle", isimo sifana nesikhathi esizayo: akukho lutho oluphelele, okungcono kunakho "okuhle ngokwanele". Ukuze uqaphele lokhu futhi wenze kube yingxenye yokuphila kwansuku zonke, ukushintsha amasu amasu ngesikhathi esisodwa, abaningi abaphelele ukuphelelwa isikhathi bavame ukudinga ukweluleka kusuka kwengqondo.
Endaweni entsha
Uma kunzima ngathi ukubhekana nezindaba zansuku zonke, khona-ke ithuba (noma isidingo) ukuqala impilo kusukela ekuqaleni, endaweni entsha nasezimo ezintsha, kungaba idolobha elihlukile noma indawo evamile yomsebenzi, kungaba yisikhathi eside ngaphandle kwe-rut. Lokhu kuvamile. Ungacabangi ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle nawe, uma ukuthuthela efulethini elisha kunqanda unomphela nokusebenza kahle. Kunesilinganiso sokucindezeleka lapho izici ngasinye zinikezwa izikolo esikalini esisodwa. Uma ukufa komuntu othandekayo kulinganiselwa amaphuzu angu-100, isehlukaniso - engama-80, nokuxabana nomlingani - ku-40, bese uhamba endaweni entsha udoba cishe amaphuzu angu-65 - lokhu kuyilingo elibi kakhulu. Noma yiziphi izinguquko ziholela ekucindezelekeni, njengoba zibandakanya ukuhlanganiswa kwazo zonke izinsiza zomzimba, okuzofanele zivumelane nezimo ezintsha: ukwakha amasu okuziphatha okusha, ukulungisa isithombe sezwe, ngisho nokulungisa ama-biorhythms. Sihlelwe ukuze ukwesaba esinye isikhathi esicindezelayo sibe namandla ngaphezu kokucindezeleka ngokwayo. Lokhu kungomunye wemibonakaliso yesimo semvelo sokuzivikela: isintu esihlakaniphile sesaba ukuthi esinye isimo esinzima singasichitha nje, futhi sizama ukuzivikela ngokumelene nanoma yiziphi izinkinga ezinjalo. Ngakho-ke isifiso sethu sokugcina ukuthi yini, ngisho noma ingasithandi kakhulu. Umsebenzi ongenzi lutho? Kodwa uzinzile. Ifulethi endaweni engcolile neyinkathazo? Kodwa eyakhe. Umyeni ophuzayo? Kodwa kukhona umndeni, ngandlela-thile. Kukhona inkulumo enjalo: kuhle uma kusasa kuyoba kubi nanamuhla. Igama eliyisihluthulelo kulo "lifanayo". Yilokho okukhona esinakho kakade, kodwa kungaba nzima kithi. Uma kukhona okushintshayo, kuyodingeka ukuthi ujwayele isimo esisha, okusho ukucindezeleka. Ukwesaba ushintsho kujwayelekile, futhi uma unayo, kufanele uqale ukuyiqaphela futhi wamukele ngokwesaba. Okubi nakakhulu, uma iba yimbangela ehola ekwenzeni izinqumo ezibalulekile futhi iqala ukunciphisa intuthuko yakho. Umuntu ekuqaleni uhlelwe ukuthuthukisa, ukuvula amandla akhe. Isigaba ngasinye sonyaka sihilela isisombululo sezinkinga ezithile zokuphila kanye nokuqoqwa kwezinto ezikhona, okunikeza ukushintshela ezingeni elilandelayo. Uma ngesinye isigaba umsebenzi wawungaqediwe, ngakho awupheli futhi ungakwazi "ukubamba" nathi kamuva. Uma isidingo sokuguqula okuthile isikhathi eside asiqapheli futhi asiholele ezenzweni ezisebenzayo, khona-ke sithola ukuphuma emzimbeni - izifo ze-psychosomatic zikhula.
"Izinguquko ezinkulu ziyeza!"
Isidingo sokuthuthukiswa kanye nokwesaba ushintsho kuhlale kulwa nomunye nomunye, futhi ngomzuzu ngamunye wokuphila kwethu kudlula into eyodwa noma enye. Ukuthola ukuyekethisa kuwumsebenzi ovela lapho kunesidingo soshintsho noma umane sithole isipho esikuzwayo ukusilahla, kodwa ukuvumelanisa kubi. Ayikho iresiphi eyodwa lapha, noma kunjalo, ngaphandle kwakho, akekho oyokwenza isinqumo kuwe. Kodwa kunezindlela ezithile ezilula ezenza umsebenzi ube lula. Kuqaphela ukuthi labo abazama ukucabanga ngekusasa kuzo zonke imibala kanye nezintambo bahlupheka kakhulu ngokucindezeleka okuhambisana nezinguquko. Ngoba iqiniso, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ochwepheshe "ekucabangeni izinto" bangasho kanjani kithi, kuhluke kakhulu kulokho okuqanjiwe. Ingabe uvame ukubiza inkulumo ethi "Angizange ngicabange lokhu"? Uma kunjalo, khona-ke kufanele usebenze ukugcina amaphupho akho ngaphandle kwemininingwane, kuphela ngesimo semidwebo: isibonelo, ungabonakali isakhiwo sehhovisi kanye nesitifiketi somphathi ukuze uthole imininingwane, uma ufuna umsebenzi omusha, futhi ungacabangi izingxoxo nabantu osebenza nabo esikhathini esizayo, ukuphindaphinda kwabo. Ngokuvamile sivinjelwe ukuqala into entsha emiphilweni yethu, i-maxim yeqiniso: "Akufanele sibaleke endaweni ethile, kepha endaweni ethile." Yiqiniso, isisusa esihle siphumelele kakhulu kunokugqugquzela okubi, futhi "ukushada nomuntu othandekayo" akuyona neze into ethi "ukushada ukuqeda ukunakekelwa kwabazali." Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi isimo sikhula ngendlela yokuthi ukuze uthole okuthile okusha, kubalulekile ukuqeda elidala. Isibonelo, uma sikhuluma ngokushiya umyeni ophuza utshwala, ngaleyo ndlela akunandaba ukuthi uzoya kuphi.
Enye indlela yokubhekana nesidingo esiphuthumayo sokushintsha into ekungabikho kwemithombo yalezi zinguquko yizinguquko ezintweni ezincane. Ikhanda elisha noma ukushintsha ifenisha endlini egcwala ukulangazelela kwethu ukuguqula akukho okubi nakakhulu kunokuthuthela kwelinye izwe. Ngakho-ke asifaki esikhundleni sesifiso sangempela sokusola, ngokuphambene nalokho - siyaziqaphela ngokugcwele, sivele sizivikele esinqumweni esikhulu nesinzima, esingasakulungeli. Uma uqala ukucabanga ngokushiya umyeni wakho - lokho akusho ukuthi isinqumo esinjalo siyoke sisebenze. Kodwa endleleni eya kuyo (noma ukwenqaba kuwo) ungagcwalisa ngokugcwele ukoma ushintsho olusha lwezinwele, izifundo zolimi lwangaphandle nokubhaliselwa echibini. Ukuma kancane endleleni eya ekushintsheni okubalulekile kuyindlela ehlakaniphile. Isixazululo sinjenge-apula: kufanele ivuthwe. Ngakho-ke, kuyoba okulungile ukuqala into entsha neyinkimbinkimbi, ngaphandle kokulinda isikhashana isikhathi esithile. Ikhefu ngaphambi kokuqala impilo entsha kuyadingeka ukuze uthole amandla futhi uqaphele uma uthanda isinqumo esithathwe. Lesi yisigaba sokugcina sokufaneleka kwendlela yakho. Uma wesaba ukwenza ukunyakaza okungalungile, yenza ukhetho olungalungile, bese ukhumbuza into eyodwa ebaluleke kakhulu: ukhetho olufanele nje alukho emvelweni. Kukhona ukukhetha kwakho siqu futhi kunemiphumela yayo, okumele kuthathwe ukuze usebenze nabo. Zilalele, qaphela ukuthi yini oyidingayo ngempela nokuthi ungayifinyelela kanjani, futhi kuyoba nokungabaza okuningi ngaphambi kokuqala ibhizinisi elisha.
Abaqeqeshi bokuphila
Uma ubunzima benemizamo emisha kukuvimbela ukuba ungaphila, futhi awukwazi ukubhekana nawe ngale nkinga - ochwepheshe bazoba usizo. I-psychotherapist izokusiza ukuqonda imvelaphi yokwesaba kwakho nokuziphendulela kwakho, futhi abaqeqeshi bokuphila bazosiza ngokuzibophezela kokukhonjiswa kwemigomo yokuphila. Umsebenzi wokugcina kithi usengcono, nakuba ukuthandwa komqeqeshi wokuphila kukhula nsuku zonke. Ngokungafani ne-psychotherapy, lokhu kungumkhuba wamanzi ahlanzekile. Izazi zengqondo ziqaphela izimbangela zezinkinga, zithandeka kakhulu esikhathini esidlule somuntu, futhi ukuqeqeshwa kokuphila kuqondiswa okwamanje nekusasa. Kuyasiza iklayenti ukuba iqaphele kangcono ukuthi ikusasa elifisa likuphi okwamanje, ukucacisa izindinganiso zakhe kanye nemigomo yokuphila, ukusiza ukuthola nokuthuthukisa izinsiza zangaphakathi zokuqaliswa kwazo. Umqeqeshi wokuphila - hhayi umeluleki wendawo yonke, akakwazi ukuphila impilo yakho ngawe, kodwa ukusiza ukuthi uqonde ukuthi yini oyifunayo ngempela ikwazi ngokugcwele. Kubheka ukusebenza nomqeqeshi wokuphila ngendlela elandelayo. Okokuqala uhlanganisa imephu yekusasa oyifunayo - kanyekanye zonke izigaba zokuphila noma eyodwa kuphela. Isibonelo, uphupha ukuqala ibhizinisi lakho, kodwa ungazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi nokuthi yini oyidingayo ngalokhu. Umqeqeshi usiza ukuphula umgomo omkhulu, emhlabeni jikelele ezinyathelweni ezincane ezincane, okuzokwenziwa ngazo okwamanje: shayela umxhumanisi, ukhokhele esikhungweni esifanele, umemezele ephephandabeni ... Emva kwalokhu, umsebenzi uqala: nsuku zonke wenza eyodwa noma ngaphezulu izinyathelo ezincane, futhi umqeqeshi wakho uholela endleleni ekhethiwe, esekela futhi uhlola lokho okwenzile namuhla nokuthi yini umphumela. Yiqiniso, lokho "okuphambene" akufanele wonke umuntu, kodwa uma ukusekelwa komuntu obalulekile (futhi ubuhlobo bokuthembela kufanele bubekwe phakathi komqeqeshi kanye neklayenti) kuyisisusa esiphumelelayo, khona-ke kuyokunika amandla okwenziwe yimpumelelo encane eyenziwe ekuqaleni noma izoba sekwephuzile eyodwa enkulu. Kulungile, Yebo, umqeqeshi ongcono kakhulu wena. Futhi ukufeza into elula: ukuze uqale ukwenza okuthile, udinga nje ukwenza okuthile. Isinyathelo esincane kunazo zonke, esingafinyeleleka. Njengoba amaShayina asendulo ayesetshenziselwa ukuthi, "Uhambo lwezinkulungwane ezikhulu luqala ngesinyathelo esisodwa." Futhi kungenziwa namhlanje.