Indlela yokusinda igebe phakathi kowesifazane nowendoda

Abantu bahlukaniswe babe izinhlobo ezimbili. Abanye baqala kalula ubudlelwane obusha futhi bawaphule, abanye iminyaka iminyaka banquma ukuvumelanisa, futhi-ke, uma kungenziwanga, iminyaka ingalindela ikhefu. Kubonakala sengathi abantu bokuqala abazi kahle ukuthi ubuhlobo phakathi kowesifazane nowendoda buyaphi.

Eqinisweni, kubalulekile ukwazi konke. Futhi isizathu sinye, kodwa siyasebenza: uma ungaqondi ukuthi yini eyabangela ukuwa kwembhangqwana, kunzima esikhathini esizayo ukwakha ubudlelwane obusha ngempumelelo.

Abantu abanganaki ukuzihlaziya noma ukukhuluma nomngane wakho wangaphambili bavame ukuhamba ngokuphindaphindiwe. Ngenxa yalokho, kuba nzima kakhudlwana ukuba bathole ikhefu ebuhlotsheni. Ngakho esikhundleni sokuthandana okusha okuvuthayo baqala ukukhetha isizungu esingazi lutho noma ukushaya ikhanda libe yinkinga. Lena akuyona indlela yokuthola injabulo nokuvumelana, ngoba ngaphandle kwengxenye yesibili kunzima ukusinda ezweni lethu elinonya. Kuhlale kujabulisa lapho ibhuloho emkhatsini wendoda nowesifazane isungulwa ukuxhumana okubucayi okunika amandla namandla kumunye wabo. Ukuze wenze ubuhlobo obusha bube khona, kufanelekile ukuba uhlanganyele nabangaphambili bakho. Kulesi sihloko, sizocubungula kuphela izincomo ezimfushane kule ndaba.

Okokuqala, udinga ngokuqondile ukuphawula i. Uma unquma ukuhlukanisa, udinga ukuhamba ngesikhathi. Ungabizi umuntu wangaphambili noma owake wangena futhi uphefumule ebhukwini, ungabheka imihlangano futhi wakhe amabhuloho. Uma ubuhlobo buqhekekile, udinga isibindi sokuyamukela ngesikhathi. Kwezinye izimo, ibanga lendawo lisiza ukusinda ukuhlukana kobuhlobo. Ezimweni lapho unomuzwa wokuthi awukwazi ukuzilawula khona, udonseleka emigwaqweni yakudala, emigwaqweni yangaphambili yothando, uzama ukuthola imihlangano nabangaphambili kumaqembu ajwayelekile kanye nabangane abahlanganyeli, uhlose ibanga lakho ngomqondo wangempela wezwi. Esikhundleni sebanga elingokwengqondo, yakha eyodwa impahla. Shintsha inombolo yocingo, uma kungenzeka, uhlala kwenye indawo, thola umsebenzi ozokhansela isidingo sokubona okwangaphambili uma kunezinhlelo ezivamile. Kuyoba nzima kuphela izinsuku ezimbalwa noma amasonto. Khona-ke kancane kancane uzoqala "ukuyeka", futhi wena ngokwakho ngeke uqaphele ukuthi esikhundleni sokubukeka komonakalo ekupheleni komlingani ohambayo, cabanga ngezinye, izinto ezingaphandle.

Okwesibili, ngemuva kokuhlukanisa, khumbula konke okuzilibazisa kwakho. Sivame ukuhlabelela le ngoma emqaleni ngenxa yezidingo zesigamu sesibili. Ukuhlukanisa noma ukuhlukanisa kuyindlela yokuvuselela izikhathi zakudala, futhi ungabuyeli ngokwakho "ku-Vasya", kodwa wena ngokwakho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuthakazelisa ngezindaba ezimnandi, okuye kwadlula isikhathi eside, kukukhohlwa ukucabanga ukuthi ungasinda kanjani igebe phakathi kowesifazane nowendoda.

Okwesithathu, okubalulekile ukwazi emva kokuhlukanisa, ukuthi ukunciphisa ukuzethemba kuyisenzo esanele ngokwanele ekulahlekelweni komuntu othandekayo. Kodwa-ke, "ungaxhumani" kusihloko sokuthi u-self-flagellation. Lokhu kuvamile kumadoda nabesifazane, kodwa abesifazane "baziqhayisa" ngokwabo ngemuva kokuphela kweveliveli engaphumeleli kaningi kakhulu. Kungathatha isikhathi ukuphola ebuhlotsheni obude, abanye bathatha iminyaka ukwenza lokhu. Ngakho leso sikhathi asilahlekile, udinga ukufunda ukukholelwa ocansini obuhlukile futhi. Enye yezindlela ezilula ukushintsha imbuthano yabangani. Kukhona abangani abaphila noma iminyaka. Futhi kukhona umbuthano wamaqembu - abangani, esiya nabo esitolo sokudlela noma i-movie, siya eholidini. Ngabangane kunzima kakhulu, kepha abaqashi kufanele bahlaziywe ngezinkinga zabo. Uma phakathi kwabo kukhona labo abazitshela ngokwezindleko zakho, bekunisela ngemfucuza, bebahlekisa ngamaqembu noma bavele bahlaziye ingxoxo ngqo, kubalulekile ukuwahlunga. Uma lo ungumngane weqiniso, isikhathi sizobeka konke endaweni yaso. Futhi uma nje ungumngane wama-hangout, akufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi uzisole ukulahlekelwa ubuhlobo obunakho "indima".

Abantu abaningi ngemuva kokuhlukanisa ukucabanga ukuthi bazoqhubeka bebahlobo nabangaphambili. Ayikho impendulo engacacile kulo mbuzo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuxhomeke ebuhlotsheni obuvamile, ukuba khona kwezingane kanye nebhizinisi jikelele, kumasiko wezwe noma isifunda lapho umuntu ehlala khona. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kunezingozi ezivamile kuwo wonke umbhangqwana - ngokuvamile abathandi bokuqala, ngenkathi behlala abangane, abakwazi ukuzihlukanisa ngokomzwelo komunye nomunye. Baqhubeka nokuthonya izimpilo zomunye nomunye, baphazamise ezenzakalweni ezibalulekile, bangaba nomhawu noma baletha inkathazo kumthandi omusha. Mhlawumbe, kule ndaba kubalulekile ukuthembela ekuziphatheni komuntu siqu, ukuhlaziya isimo, futhi emva kokulinganisa konke, wenze isinqumo. Kodwa noma ngabe usuvele uthathe isinqumo sokuhlala ubungani, isikhathi esithile sokukhulumisana ekuqaleni ekuqaleni kwekhefu sizokusiza ukuba ubhekane nesiphepho esingokomzwelo futhi ngokushesha usangene ezinhliziyweni zakho.