Ngemva kokuqhuba izifundo eziningi nokuqaphela, ososayensi bathola ukuthi ngemva kokuhlukana, inani elikhulu lamadoda libhekana nokucindezeleka nokucindezeleka, becabanga ukuthi isehlukaniso sithengiswa yingxenye yesibili. Amanye ala madoda abuye acabange ngokuzibulala, enye ingxenye ihlose ukuphindisela kulowo owayengumfazi wokuqeda ubuhlobo. Izibalo zibonisa ukuthi amadoda amathathu angamashumi amathathu nesikhombisa emva kweminyaka emibili kusukela ngosuku lokuqhafaza aqala ukuzizwa ekhululekile, kanti amaphesenti angamashumi amabili nambili alabo abacwaningisiwe bajabula ngokuthi baqala ukuhola impilo yokuphila.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, amadoda ahlukanisile ezikhathini eziningi awasheshi ukusungula ubudlelwane nabakwa-comrade endala, labo ababuyisela ubuhlobo obudala kuphela ngamaphesenti angamashumi amathathu nesishiyagalolunye. Nazi amaphuzu abonisa ngokuqondile ukuthi amadoda ahlukana kakhulu nesahlukaniso: ingxenye eyodwa kwezintathu, okungamatshumi amathathu nantathu amaphesenti amadoda angaphambili, ngemuva kokuba bodwa, baqala ukukhukhumeza usizi lwabo ngotshwala futhi baphuze ngokushesha; Amaphesenti angamashumi amabili nantathu aphazanyiswa ukuxhunyaniswa ngengozi; Amaphesenti ayishumi nantathu azama ukubuyela esikhathini sangaphambi komshado futhi ahlangane nabesifazane ababeziwa ngaphambi komshado.
Futhi ingabe kukhona ukuphila ngemva kokuhlukaniswa kwabafazi? Ngemva kokubheka kanye nokuhlola okufanele, izazi zengqondo zathola ukuthi abesifazane abahlukanisile abakhathazeki ikakhulu ngokulahlekelwa ubuhlobo nomuntu owayengumthandi. Ezimweni eziningi, abesifazane abahlukanisile abagcini nje ngokuthuthukisa impilo yabo, kodwa isimo somphefumulo siya evamile. Kumele kuthiwa abanye abameleli besifazane ababuthakathaka basesimweni sokujabula ngonyaka, noma ngaphezulu, kusukela ehlukanisweni.
Uma cishe owesithathu wesilisa ohlukanisile bezama ukushada masinyane, ngisho nokusebenzisa izinsizakalo ezinikezwa ama-ejenti womshado, ngakho-ke abesifazane, iningi lamacala, abakasheshi ukushada, baqala ukucabanga ngalokhu kungenzeka ngezinye izikhathi eminyakeni eminingana emva kokuhlukanisa.
Lokhu kuziphatha kwamadoda nabesifazane ngemuva kokuhlukanisa, ochwepheshe bezobudlelwano bomndeni banikeza incazelo elula. Njengoba engenayo imithwalo yemfanelo yasekhaya eyithukuthele, indoda engumashiqela noma indoda embi, owesifazane angaphila ngendlela ayithandayo, ajabulele inkululeko futhi azikhathalele ngokwengeziwe. Inombolo enkulu yabamele ingxenye enhle yesintu ivuselela izibopho zakudala, uxhumane nabangani, ukuhlolisisa ukubukeka kwabo nempilo yabo, hamba uhambo.
Ingxenye yesilisa, emva kokuhlukaniswa nempilo ejwayelekile yomndeni, izwa umuzwa wokudideka ezinkingeni nasezinkathazweni eziye zavela. Ngokuvamile, amadoda azinakushintshwa ekushintsheni okukhethekile okuphila, lezi yizici ze-psychology yamadoda. Yingakho, njengomthetho, impilo emva kwesahlukaniso samadoda iphenduka ukucindezeleka okujulile, okuyinto ezoba namandla nakakhulu uma isinyathelo sokuqhafaza sinikezwa yilowo oshade naye.
Ngokusobala, ukuhlukaniswa ngalunye kubangelwa izizathu ezithile, okuhlukile kumuntu ngamunye. Ukuqaphela izinga lokucindezeleka, isahlukaniso sithatha indawo yokuqala ngokuphathelene nomthelela wesimo sengqondo somuntu. Umuntu kufanele azikhethele ukuthi ngabe kukhona yini emva kokuhlukanisa, noma cha.
UJulia Sobolevskaya , ngokukhethekile isayithi