Indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe emkhawulweni wehlukaniso - Lezi zeluleko zengqondo zizokunika umndeni injabulo

Inkinga ebuhlotsheni ihlangene ngisho nemindeni enokuthula kakhulu. Futhi basinda ngokuphepha, uma abashadile bebambisana bexazulula izingxabano bese befuna ukuvumelana ndawonye. Kodwa ubudlelwane obunjalo be-harmonic kanye nobuntu obuvuthiwe, obuthintekayo ngokuhlanganyela othandweni oluzalwa ngokuhlanganyela, bambalwa kakhulu. Abaningi abakwazi ukuthwala umzwelo wokuthi udinga ukukhuliswa, ukuthuthukiswa, ukufundiswa njengengane encane, nokuphathwa, hhayi ukubulawa, uma "igula." Ukwahlukanisa kuyisifo esibulalayo, esivumela imibhangqwana yothando lwabo ngendlela enhle.

Kungani lesi sigwebo sizwakala sizwakala emindenini yanamuhla? Iyiphi indlela enesihluku yokuxazulula inkinga yobuhlobo? Okuncane, nje isahlukaniso! Uma kunoma yikuphi ukungqubuzana kwesithakazelo, ngazo zonke iziphambeko ezenziwe, ngxabano encane, ngaphezu nangaphandle kwalokho, abashadile basongela omunye ngesahlukaniso. Ukuze uxazulule ngale ndlela, izingxabano zomndeni zifana nokucima umlilo ngamafutha. Yiqiniso, maduzane abashadile bazithola bethola eduze komzila wesehlukaniso. Futhi uma kukhona ngisho nethuba elincane lokulondoloza umndeni futhi ulondoloze "ingane" evamile okuthiwa Uthando kusuka ekufeni okuseduze, bese usuka phansi ibhizinisi ngokushesha!

Yini esikwenzayo engalungile futhi kungani siseduze kwesahlukaniso?

I-Psychotherapists ihlukanisa izibonakaliso eziningana, okubonakala ukuthi iveza ubunzima ebuhlotsheni. Ukungazinaki lezi zinkinga kuyindlela engavinjelwe yokuhlukanisa:

1. Izingxabano ezibhebhezelayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi lezi zithandani zizama kangakanani ukuxazulula izinkinga zomndeni ngenkathi kwenzeka, ngesikhathi sokuphila ndawonye, ​​izizathu zokuphikisana ziyaqhubeka zikhula futhi zikhule. Uma kunezinsolo ezinzima ukuzwakalisa kumlingani iso, kodwa ngempela ufuna ukusho umngane ekhishini, lokhu kuyisignali yokuqala mayelana nosongo olufihlekile lomshado. Ukungazinaki "ukungaboni" kuzokwenzeka ngokushesha noma kamuva kube yiklahla eliyingozi. Ama-scandals aqoqa!
2. Izimangalo ezingapheli. Ngokuvamile, abashade bahlalisana ngokuphawula kanye nokumangalelwa, bengakhathaleli ngempela lokho okwakushiwoyo. Uma umyeni engazange ahlanze indebe (akazange ahlanzwe amasokisi, akazange avule isibani sokukhanya, njll), mhlawumbe esikhundleni sokukhalaza kwezikhalazo ezinjengokuthi: "Kungakanani ongaba yingulube?" Kuyafaneleka ukubekezela, ngaphandle kwemzwelo ( ngisho noma ngekhulu lekhulu) buza: "Ngidlwengula, ngicela ugeze, sicela, nendebe yami." Izimangalo ezihlala njalo - ukuhlambalaza komuntu siqu, okukhukhulayo. Amazwi aqoqa!
3. Ukugxeka njalo. Ukugxekwa ngumcibisholo okhishwe ekuzihloneleni komuntu. Mhlawumbe, ngokuqukethwe, kusemthethweni, kodwa hhayi njalo indlela okubhaliwe ngayo, kunomthelela wokufinyelela oshade naye. Uma inhloso yomcibisholo ukulimaza othandekayo futhi ungalethi okuyinhloko yenkinga, kungcono ukumbamba. Ukugxeka okumele kuvezwe kufanele kufakwe ngesimo sesicelo, futhi njalo ngesimo sokuhlolwa kwesenzo, hhayi umuntu. Ama-verdicts aqhathanisayo aqoqa!

4. Ukuboniswa kokudeka. Ngokuzilahla, ukudelela ngokuqondile komlingani kubonakala. Ukubusa okungaziwa, ukwelashwa ngokuzidla, ukunganaki imibono, ukuphawula okungapheli, ukuhleka usulu nokuhleka umuntu kwenza uzizwe ungelutho futhi ungabalulekile. Ukulahla kuqoqa!
5. Ukungabi nokubonga. "Ngiyabonga" futhi "ngiyabonga" ngamagama amabili anesisindo esiningi njengokuthi "uthando". Bathi, njengezibonakaliso zokunakwa nokuncoma, beka ithoni ebuhlotsheni, futhi ukungabi khona kwabo kuphenduka uthando kube "isibopho". Imithwalo esenza ngokubambisana (eyethu noma engaphandle), kodwa ukunakekelwa okuqotho kanye nezenzo ezinhle yizibonakaliso zentando yomuntu siqu. Amazwi okubonga yikhodi yakhe eyimfihlo. Ubuwula bomphefumulo buqoqa!
6. Ukungazinaki ucansi. Ubulili obuvamile noma ukungabi nalutho kuyisizathu esizwakalayo sokuhlukanisa, ngisho noma lo mbhangqwana ungasho ukuthi yisisusa esizwakalayo. Uma okungenani oyedwa womshado akanayo ubulili, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi uzophendulela "ngakwesokunxele" kuze kufike inani eligcwele laleli cala lokuphila. Emindenini eminingi, isithiyo esinjalo ebuhlotsheni singenakuvinjelwa. Ukunganeliseki kuqoqa!

Laba kanye nabanye "abahlukumezi" besehlukaniso banezinto zokuqoqa, futhi bangasebenza njengabaqaphi bomndeni we-apocalypse ongenakugwemeka.

Ukuvimbela isahlukaniso

Joanna Goddard, umbhali we-New York owaziwayo waseNew York, ohlanganisa isihloko sobudlelwane, wabelane nezigidi eziningi zabasebenzisi ababhalisile, kodwa izincomo eziphumelela kakhulu eziqinisa ubuhlobo emndenini. Ngokusho kwakhe, isikhathi eside umshado ugcinwa ujabule ngezenzo ezinzima kakhulu futhi ezibonakala zingabalulekile. Noma kunjalo, ukugcina kwabo ngeke kuvumele noma ubani ukuba acabange ngesehlukaniso.

1. Ungacasuli ezintweni ezincane. Ukuphila kufushane kakhulu ukuze ungacasuli ngokukhononda komngane wakho womshado, uma engenaso isimo sengqondo, lapho egula futhi engafuni ukubona noma ubani, lapho ehlangabezana nokucindezeleka ngomsebenzi futhi uqaliswe kusuka kwesigamu nendawo. Akufanelekile ukuthatha ubuthakathaka obuthakathaka babantu ukuze bethinteke emizweni. Vumela izikhalazo ezincane, kodwa uhole umndeni ngomkhuba wokucela intethelelo, lapho imizwa emibi idlula.
2. Gcina imithetho yokuhlonipha. Ukuzitika kwezombusazwe kuvulwa iminyango eminingi, nokuhlukumezeka phakathi kwabashade - kuvulwa izinhliziyo ukuhlangana. Amazwi okubonga, izicelo ezihloniphekayo, ukunakwa okuqotho kanye nokuncoma kungalungisa ngisho nobuhlobo emndenini eduze kwesahlukaniso.
3. Beka embhedeni ndawonye. Ungafisi nje amaphupho amahle, kodwa uthathe isikhathi sokuxoxa embhedeni ngaphambi kokulala, ukuxoxa ngalokho okwenzekile ngosuku. Tshela omunye "inganekwane" ebusuku, njengoba uyenzela izingane. Makube nakho okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho siqu, injabulo noma ngisho nokwesaba. Kukhona kulokhu okuthinta ingane, obuseduze nokukhathalela kakhulu. Futhi qiniseka ukuthi uyawanga ngaphambi kokulala futhi ekuseni!

4. Yisho ukuthi "Ngiyakuthanda" ekwenzeni ukuxabana. Umndeni omuhle awusho umndeni ngaphandle kwempi. Ukuthola ubuhlobo kukuvumela ukuba ufune futhi uthole iqiniso, uzizwe ubuhlungu bomunye nomunye. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuthi ngisho nasezingxabaneni abashadile baqonda ukuthi bayaqhubeka bebathanda, naphezu kwamathoni akhule. Ukuthi phakathi nxabano "Ngiyakuthanda!" Akulula, kodwa uma imizwelo ihleli, uzozibonga ngala mazwi. Zama it!
5. Shake up the order esungulwe. Ungakhohlwa ukugcwalisa umndeni wakho ngeveli. Akukho okuyiqiniso okubulala ubuhlobo, njengendlela evamile. Zama into engavamile futhi entsha, yenza ukutholwa okuhlangene, uzwe imizwelo engaphenduliwe. Vakashela indawo yokudlela entsha, shintsha iholide ehlobo olumnandi lapho uhamba khona ngamatende, uthole isiko ukuya emabhayisikobho, ukuboniswa nokuhlela ukudla okungajwayelekile okuthandana.
6. Shiya isikhala omunye nomunye. Ukuba ngamahora angu-24 ndawonye kungase kube kuhle, kodwa hhayi izinsuku ezingu-365 ngonyaka. Wonke umuntu udinga ukuhlala yedwa, inkululeko futhi ngisho yedwa: uma udinga ukuzizwa umphefumulo wakho, yenza ukucwaninga emicabangweni yakho, unqabile. Lokhu kuvamile! Shiya isikhala sakho siqu, vumela wena nomlingani wakho ngezinye izikhathi ukuba uhlangane nabangani noma uzinike isikhathi esimweni sakho sokuzilibazisa ngaphandle kokubika.

Indlela yokwakha ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe, uma beseseceleni kwesahlukaniso

Uma ukuvimbela, okuqinisa ubudlelwane bomndeni, kunganakiwe, futhi imibhangqwana ibheka ukuzwana ebuhlotsheni ukunamathisela okubonakalayo okuthandayo, umndeni uhamba kancane. Ngezinye izikhathi umbhangqwana wamashumi ambalwa eminyaka ushintsha umthwalo wemikhakha emndenini komunye nomunye, ungafuni ukuzithuthukisa. Ikhono lokulalela nokuzwa umlingani, ukwenza izinto eziyekethisa, ulinde izinkinga, unike ngaphandle kokufuna okufanayo - lokhu umsebenzi omkhulu, ohlanganyelwe kanye nesikhathi. Ukuvuselela ubuhlobo obufayo, kuzothatha umzamo omkhulu, kodwa okubaluleke kakhulu - uthando!

1. Yamukela amaphutha. Zonke izingxabano zomndeni zithuthuka ngokusho kwe-algorithm: "Ngiqinisile! Awukho! "Umbhangqwana uphazamiseke ngokuthola impendulo yombuzo omdala:" Ubani ongabekwa icala? ". Kodwa ukugxila enkingeni evelayo ngokuqondile komunye umbuzo: "Yini okufanele uyenze?" Futhi kuphela lapho ukuqhuba ukuxoxisana nokufuna umuntu onecala. Ubuhlobo obumbene emndenini abudingi ukulungiswa. Kwanele ukuvuma ngesikhathi ophuthayo, unecala noma uphutha. Thatha imithwalo yemisebenzi yabo engavamile, ucele ngobuqotho ukuthethelelwa futhi unikeze ilungelo kumuntu othandekayo ukuba anqume - ukwenza noma ukuxolela.
2. Ukuqeda ubugovu obungapheli. Kumele uvume ukuthi umuntu oseduze ungumuntu kuphela, futhi unelungelo lokungafezeki, njengabo bonke abantu. Akunabantu abalungile! Ukuthi umshado uyaphuma ngokusebenzisa ukuhlaselwa kwakho okuvelele kuzoboniswa yizibonakaliso ezilandelayo zobugovu:
   • i-egocentrism (ukuzinzela wena);
   • ukuziqhenya okukhulu;
   • ubudlelwane obungapheli;
   • ukugxeka;
   • ukuphefumula;
   • ukubekezelelana;
   • ukuziqhenya;
   • ukufutheka;
   • ukuxhaphazwa, njll.

3. Thatha isenzo. Uma usuphawulekile kakhulu "ukusiphazamisa," futhi akuyona okokuqala (kubonakala, hhayi okwesibili, uma kuziwa isehlukaniso), qaphela ukwenza okungavamile kuwe, okuyinto ozocela intethelelo kuwe. Amazwi okuxolisa nezethembiso awunawo umphumela oyifunayo, ngoba abantu abathembeli amagama, kodwa izenzo. Benza kahle ukuthi lo mbhangqwana ukholwe, uthethelele, uqale nge-slate ehlanzekile.
4. Khothelela futhi ukhulule. Ngeke njalo ubudlelwane bungaphansi kokuvuselelwa, futhi akudingeki ukuthi basindiswe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kunezikhathi lapho abantu benze khona umkhankaso empilweni yabashadile babo futhi bahlale benemizwa evelele ekufeni - ukuwenza ubugebengu ngokumelene nekusasa labo kanye nomuntu okuyo ozovela ngempela. Vumela ushade naye othandekayo nothando, uma kakade zonke izindlela zokuvikela injabulo ziye zazama. Kodwa yenza ngokubonga, ngaphandle kokuhlambalaza nokuzizwa unecala. Mthethelele yena kanye nawe ngenxa yothando oluphukile. Mkhulule yena nesimo. Futhi-ke, kungenzeka kakhulu ukuthi isenzo esinjalo siyoba yithuba lesibili lomndeni wakho ohlukanayo.