Ngeshwa, iqiniso livame ukuhlukana kakhulu nemibono yabo yokuziphendulela futhi lapho izinkinga ezivele zivela kungena kumenywa abamenywe zingena endlini yazo. Sekuyisikhathi eside kungabi yimfihlo kunoma ubani ukuthi empilweni yomuntu kukhona amaphuzu okuguqula, ngezinye izikhathi abizwa ngokuthi izinkinga zomuntu siqu, lapho kubalulekile nje ukucubungula okwedlule, ukwenza izinqumo ezintsha ezibalulekile, nokulwa ngaphakathi ngokwakho. Izinkinga zeminyaka yobudala zabantu ziboniswa kakhulu kunabesifazane futhi zikhuni kakhudlwana, ngakho-ke ake sizibheke ngokuningiliziwe.
Inkinga yokuqala ehlobene nobudala emadodeni iyenzeka eneminyaka engu-14-16 , lapho intsha ivela ngaphakathi isidingo sokufakazela kubo bonke abantu ababazungezile, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ukuthi ayikho into encane futhi ingazenza konke ngaphandle kokunakekela nokusiza abantu abadala. Futhi lokho abazali abaningi abakubheka njengokwenzakala nokungcola kungukuzifunela ngokwakho nokuqinisekiswa kwemvelo ngokwemvelo.
Inkinga yesibili kwenzeka eminyakeni engu-21-23 . Umfana kakade udinga ukuzibonakalisa ukuthi ungumdala kakhulu kuzo zonke izigaba zokuphila. Uqala ukwenza amalungiselelo okuphila kwakhe konke esikhathini esizayo: ekuqaleni - udumo, ngazo zonke izindlela ukuba abe ngowokuqala, auto, imali, umfazi omuhle, izingane ezithandekayo ezizomthanda ngempela. Konke, njengokubusa, kuhle, kukhulu futhi futhi, ngokuqinisekile, akunakwenzeka. Ngokuvamile kulesi sikhathi ukuthi abafana bangene emshadweni womshado. Futhi kungenxa yokuthi ngezenzo ezinjengalezi ziphakama njengokungathi izikhundla eziningana zibe phezulu kwezinhlelo zabo ezinkulu.
Ngeminyaka engu-28-30 uqonda ngokucacile ukuthi wonke amaphupho akhe omusha ayingqungquthela kuphela, futhi ngehla elibukhali elithintekayo ngencazelo yokuphila, iqiniso elibi elibizwa ngokuthi "akakaze" lihlaba umqondo womuntu. Ngeke abe yilokho konke okokuqala, angeke akwazi ukufeza lokho ayekugijimela khona nalokho ayekufunayo, akakaze ... angalokothi ... Kulukhuni futhi kubuhlungu hhayi kuphela ukubona lokhu, kodwa futhi ukwamukela. Kumele wamukele ukuthi ufana nomuntu ojwayelekile njengabo bonke abanye, ukuthi umsebenzi wakho awufani nalokho okunye, okulula, futhi hhayi ukuletha ukwaneliseka oyifunayo, umndeni awuyona umndeni ojabulayo, ujabule , kodwa nje ukuphila, kukhona njalo ukusweleka kwalokho into, ukuhlambalaza nokunganeliseki ... Sekuvele kuphelelwe imizamo yokuthola okuthile empilweni, ngisho nokuthola ubudlelwane kanye nezingxoxo ezivulekile nomkayo akunikezi imiphumela oyifunayo. Uma umuntu enenkinga, uyaqonda ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukuqhubeka nokuphila okufana nalokhu, ngaphandle kokushintsha, futhi uqala ukufuna uthando ohlangothini, ukuze okungenani ngandise ubuhlungu nokudumazeka emndenini nakho konke okuhlobene nakho. Ngakho-ke ingxabano yokuhlukanisa nokungathembeki okungapheli. Amadoda amaningi, abhekene nobunzima obuqala ukubheka injabulo ekudakwa.
Inkinga enjalo iphela, kuphela lapho umuntu eqala ukuqonda ngokwanele futhi ephila ngokugcwele ngendlela engokoqobo. Emsebenzini, uqala ukubeka imigomo efinyelelekayo, ubuhlobo bombewu buya emgqeni evamile wokubambisana nokusebenzisana. Intsha ithola ibanga eliphakathi kwabo, elifanelana nomuntu wonke, wonke umuntu uphila impilo yakhe futhi uzama ukungaphazamisi empilweni yomunye. Futhi into engathandeki kakhulu ukuthi lokhu kubonakala, ngeshwa, kujwayelekile.
Kubonakala sengathi konke kuhle. Kakade umfazi uyabubula ngokukhululeka, kepha lokhu kuza ukuhlolwa okunzima kakhulu kunzima - lokhu kuyinkinga kumuntu oneminyaka ephakathi . Ngokujwayelekile, iminyaka engama-37-38 yamadoda amaningi inesikhathi esifanayo lapho eqala ukuzizwa ukuthi, ngokungaqondakali, efile. Cha, yebo, konke kwaqondwa ngaphambili, kodwa kuphela ngengqondo, ngaphandle kokuthatha imininingwane enjalo. Futhi lapha ngokuzumayo izibonakaliso zokuqala nezingenakulinganiswa ziqala ukuvela ukuthi ngeke zifike emva kwakho. Impilo kakade inikeza ukwehluleka okukhulu, amaphaphu, isibindi, imithwalo yegazi, isisu, inhliziyo ... Indoda iyaqonda ngokungazelelwe ukuthi, ngeshwa, iguga. "Ingabe ukuphila kwami kuphelile? Futhi ayikwazi yini ukubuyiselwa emuva ... Futhi-ke yini iphuzu lokwenza okuthile uma konke kuphelile? Ukufa akunakugwema ... "
Indoda ngesikhathi senkinga iqala ukukhathazeka futhi "i-twitch". Angakwazi ukuya enkundleni ngekhanda, ukuze abuyisele impilo, futhi nakanjani, ngezinye izikhathi angazilawuli, ngenkathi ezama ukuzilimaza kakhulu. Imisebenzi kanye nemali yakhe ayinakunqunywa, futhi akafuni ukuya emisebenzini ekhokhelwa kakhulu futhi ehloniphekile, kodwa enye ingamletha okungenani ukwaneliseka okungokomzwelo. Futhi amanye amadoda ashiya umsebenzi ngesikhathi sezinkinga. Iningi laboyise, elinentshiseko ekhethekile, baqala ukufinyelela ezinganeni zabo, kodwa bagijimela "ezinzima" ezinganeni ezinemibono ehlukene yokuphila. Ngenkathazo, uqala ukudonsa kumkakhe, kodwa ngisho nomthandi wakhe akakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi uyayidinga. Kusukela ngalesi sikhathi, zombili ziqala izinguquko ezihlukahlukene zamahomoni. Abesifazane banezinga eliphansi le-estrogen, futhi ngamadoda, ngokulandelana, i-testosterone, eyenza amadoda abe nemicabango eminingi, nabesifazane ngokuphambene nalokho. Amadoda angase abe nezinyembezi ngokuzumayo, ngezinye izikhathi angase afune ukumane afune umfazi wakhe efuna ukuqonda nokuzwelana, futhi umfazi okwamanje usevele ejwayele ukukhuluma ngokungathandeki nozwela ... Ucabanga ukuthi akekho owamqonda, ukungabi nalutho, isizungu nokungaqondi kahle - konke lokhu kuphinda kuholele ekubeni nokuhlukunyezwa nokudakwa.
Ukuhlubuka okuqhubekayo ngalesi sikhathi kuyaphawuleka ngokuthi, njengoba umthetho, indoda ilala namantombazane amancane, ukuze azibonakalise ukuthi unamandla okuthile futhi ekuqaleni ukubhala. Ngeshwa, umfazi akaqondi umyeni wakhe, ngakho-ke kuvame ukuhlukanisa izinguquko ezinjalo. Ucabanga ukuthi uthembekile wakhe usanda kuhamba. Eqinisweni, umyeni udinga ukusekelwa nokusizwa kwakhe, futhi ngokuphindaphindiwe uzwa ukulahlwa nokuhlaselwa kuphela. Ngomzuzu owodwa umuntu osondelene futhi othanda kakhulu ngokuzumayo uba yisitha esinamandla kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, kubuye kube khona okuphawulekayo futhi kunzima kubo bobabili abashade benani lesahlukaniso.