Izazi zengqondo zafinyelela esiphethweni: ukungabi nabulungisa akukho. Yebo, okungenani ebuhlotsheni. Ukukhuthazwa, ukunikela ngesandla nasenhliziyweni yisenzo esisheshayo sabanye ekuziphatheni kwethu. Futhi uma ukuzibona kwethu kuhambisana nokuhlola kwabanye, izinkinga eziningi zagwetshwa. U-Simain Wazer, inhloko yeLebhubhu ye-Personality and Self-Knowledge yaseYunivesithi yaseWashington, wathi: "Abantu bakholelwa ukuthi bazi ngokwabo kahle, ngoba bayazi kangcono umlando wokuphila kwabo kunabanye. Kodwa-ke, lo muntu akanandaba nesikhathi esidlule. Kukhona emqinisweni yomzuzu wamanje. " Asiqageli ukuthi sibheka kanjani ngaphandle: isibonelo, ukuthi sinemikhuba emibi yokuphuza futhi siyaphazamise i-interlocutor. Nakuba ukukhanga kwethu siqu, ukuhlakanipha, ukuxhumana, ukugcina isikhathi, sibheka ize. Njengoba usungile impendulo kwabanye, ungaziqonda kangcono ngokwakho. Ngempela, ngokwezazi ze-psychologists, asikwazi ukuhlola ezinye izici zethu zobuntu ngaphandle kosizo lwangaphandle. Ukuze uqonde izimiso eziyisisekelo zokubona komuntu siqu, Wazir uhlongoza ukuveza umbuthano ohlukaniswe emikhakha emine.
Kuyacaca kuwo wonke umuntu
Ngemuva kokukhuluma nawe imizuzu embalwa nje, ungakwazi ukunquma ukuthi ungumuntu ohloniphekile noma okhululekile, owezinto ezibonakalayo noma oyingcweti. Ucwaningo luye lwafakazela ukuthi izimfanelo ezifana nokuzijabulisa zihlolwe ngokulinganayo ngomuntu nomvelo wakhe. Yini ongaziwa kuwe noma kwabanye. Ngokuvamile izisusa ezingenasici zokuziphatha kwakho zingena kuwo. Isibonelo, izifiso ezimbi zingase zibe ngenxa yesifiso sokufakazela kubazali ukuthi bakunakekelwa ebuntwaneni.
Izinhloso nemizwelo
Bayazi kahle, kodwa abonakali kwabanye. Uthola ukwethuka uma usendaweni ematasa. Kodwa abanye bangase bacabange: uthula emcimbini, ngoba ucabanga - akukho bantu abafanelekile ukunakwa.
Okuthakazelisa kakhulu kithi
Lona ohlangothini lobuntu bethu owaziwa kuphela kwabanye. Lokhu kuhlanganisa ulwazi mayelana nokuhlakanipha, ukuheha, ubuhlobo, ukuhlonipha, ukugcina isikhathi. Ekuhloleni lezi zimfanelo, sivame ukuphutha.
Intelligence
Abazali bethu bahlola ukuhlakanipha kwethu kuqala. Inkulumo ethi "uhlakaniphile kangaka" imiswe kahle engqondweni futhi yenza umqondo wamakhono akho okuqonda. Njengoba ikhula, ihlanganiswa imibono yabothisha, othisha, abangani. "Ukudumisa nokuncoma esikugcina ngokucophelela emigodini ye-subconscious, futhi asithathi impendulo engalungile," kuchaza umqondo wezengqondo nomqeqeshi wezebhizinisi u-Irina Baranova. "Ngempela, ukungabi nalutho kudinga ukusebenza kithi ngokwethu, futhi sinelisekile ngokwethu." Ngenxa yalokho, sibhekisisa ukuhlakanipha kwethu. Emqondweni womuntu kukhona umzabalazo oqhubekayo phakathi kokubili "Mina": "Ngiphelele" futhi "Ngingumuntu wangempela". I-psyche yethu kusukela ebuntwaneni iboshelwe impilo emphakathini ezimweni zokuncintisana okukhulu. Ukuqaphela ukuthi uyisiphukuphuku kancane kunabanye kufana nokwamukela ukunqotshwa. Yingakho "ngingumuntu wangempela" ezingqondweni zethu ngokuphindaphindiwe ngokuthi "Ngingumuntu ophelele". Lokhu kuyindlela yokuzivikela. " I-hypothesis iqinisekiswa ngumphumela wokuhlolwa eNyuvesi yaseWashington. Abafundi abaningana banikezwa umsebenzi wokunquma ngokunembile inani le-IQ yabo, bese badlulisa ukuhlolwa. Ukuhlolwa okuboniswe ngabahlanganyeli kwakungaphezulu kunezibalo zangempela. Futhi lapho ososayensi bebuza abangane ukuba baqagele i-IQ yezihloko zokuhlolwa, izimpendulo zithintana nemiphumela yokuhlola.
Ukuheha
Indlela esahlulela ngayo ukubonakala kwethu, kulabo abahlaselayo bahlekisa. "Lapho sisencane, sifunda izindaba zama-princesses ngama-curls azinhle futhi amehlo enombala wesibhakabhaka. Futhi siphupha ukuba sibe okufanayo. Kamuva imibono yethu yobuhle yayivezwe yithonya elinonya labamaphephandaba. Manje sikholelwa ngobuqotho (ngisho noma singazivumeli thina) ukuthi izindebe, izinwele namahlo kufanele kufane no-Angelina Jolie, uPenelope Cruz no Uma Thurman. Ngamunye wethu unesimo esimangalisayo sokuheha, futhi singazicabangela kuphela, ngokusekelwe kulo, "kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uKarina Basharova. Ngenkathi sibheka ukubukeka kwethu embukisweni oqhwaqisiwe esibukweni kanye nezithombe ezingaphumelelanga, abantu abazungezile bawela ngaphansi kwesipelingi samandla ethu, izinkulumo zobuso, ukuzithokozisa. U-Alena wayehlale ecabangela ukukhanya kwezinwele ezimnyama (okuyinto ayeqhubeka eqondisa nge-ironing nsuku zonke) inzuzo enkulu yokubukeka kwayo. Kuze kube yilapho iqembu lizwa ngengozi ingxoxo yabangane, ngubani owamthanda izindwangu zakhe ezidlalayo futhi wazisola ngokuthi u-Alena wayebeka ngokucophelela izinwele zakhe.
Ngesizotha
Ukufisa ukwenza umqondo omuhle, ukuxhumana, sikhetha ngokucophelela amagama. Kodwa emva kwakho konke, imisho efanayo ingaqondwa ngezindlela ezehlukene ngenxa yezwi, ukudlidliza kwezwi, ukunyakaza kwemisipha. Lemininingwane ingaphezu kwembono yethu, kodwa ibonakala ngokucacile ku-interlocutor. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuhlonipha kuyisikhathi senhlalakahle, kuxhomeke kakhulu kumongo nangokweziko. Ngomuntu oyedwa, ungasho ukuthi umemeza, ngokumemeza kakhulu "Ukuphila kanjani?", Futhi uzokwenza lokhu ngokwanele, futhi omunye kufanele akhulume ngezwi eliphansi nakuwe.
Ukugcina isikhathi
Abantu abangakwazi ngokuphelele ukuhamba ngokuhamba kwesikhathi bambalwa kakhulu. Kodwa kungani-ke sekwephuzile? U-Irina Baranova uyaqiniseka: isibalo sokugcina isikhathi kumbuthano ngamunye wokukhulumisana esiwenzayo ngabanye. Isibonelo, ungavakashela intombi ngehora kamuva, kodwa uma uxoxwa ngomsebenzi omusha, kufanele uvele uhhafu wehora ngaphambili. Sihlukanisa abantu ngokubaluleka kwabo, bese sibabeka phambili ezingeni elingenakuqonda: siphuthuma ngosuku, sidonsa wonke umuntu endleleni, noma sibambe ngesibindi ku-cafe eseduzane, sikhohlwe ngokuphelele ukuthi bathembisa ukuthi bazoba khona isigamu sehora esedlule. U-Christina wakhetha umngane weyunivesithi iminyaka eyisikhombisa. Ngemva kokuphuza ihora ngehora kancane, le ntombazane yaqala ukungena esitolo sokudlela futhi yaqala ukuthungatha inganqikazi ukuxolisa, kodwa umngane wakhe waphazamisa: "Ungakhathazeki, ngazi ukuthi uzophuza. Ngakho ngafika ngehora lesishiyagalombili. "
Ukukhathazeka
Ngokuvamile umuntu wesaba uzibheka kanjalo. Ungalala ngokukhanya, ukuthuthumela kuzo zonke izigqoko - futhi qiniseka ukuthi akukho okungaziwa ngalokhu. Kodwa labo abakuzungezile baqala ukubona ukwesaba: banikeza ukuthuthumela ngezwi labo, ukungahambisani kwenkulumo nokuzibonakalisa. Ukukhathazeka kuyindlela yokuzivikela. Umuntu uziphatha ngokungathí sina uma kukhona usongo lokuphulwa kwendawo yokududuza. Enye inkinga ukuthi ukwesaba kungabonakala. Kwaphela isikhathi eside uLika akakwazanga ukulala efulethini elingenalutho. Ngenkathi bebambe ingqongqo emnyango, intombazane, ebambe ibhande le-baseball esandleni sayo, yavula i-jerk. Ngidinga ukukhuluma ngempendulo yomngane onqume ukwenza ukuvakashelwa okungalindelekile? Njengoba sivame ukuphutha ngokwezindleko zethu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda ukuthi yiziphi abangane, abantu abaseduze nabangakajwayele abasibona. Umsebenzi, ukuxhumana, ubungane nothando kuxhomeke kulokhu. Ngaphambi kokuzonda umhlaba wonke, zibuke wena: ingabe njalo uveza kahle imicabango yakho, imizwa nezifiso zakho. Futhi ungesabi ukwamukela amaphutha.