URabindranath Tagore uthe: "Umshado ubuciko, futhi kufanele uvuselelwe nsuku zonke." Omunye umshado ubonakala sengathi ungumkhuba, abanye bayakubona njengento enhle futhi ehlanzekile. Bobabili bashadile futhi bagcina lesi siko sinikezwa kusukela ezizukulwaneni ngezizukulwane. Kodwa siyini isizathu sokuhlukanisa okuningi kangaka? Kungani imishado "ishisa" futhi abantu behlukanisa ubudlelwane obakhelwe isikhathi eside, kanye namaphupho kuwo? Yiziphi izimbangela zomzwelo nezengqondo zesehlukaniso?
Phela, kubantu abaningi, umshado ungcwele, iholidi futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo umthwalo wokuphila, nakuba njalo kubonakala ngathi uthando oluphakade nokuxhumana phakathi kwethu kufanele luhlale phakade. Kodwa ezimweni eziningi lokhu akunjalo. Yini ebhubhisa lokhu kuxhumano, futhi yiziphi izimbangela zengqondo zesehlukaniso zengqondo? Ngenxa yokuthi sithatha isinyathelo esinzima kangaka, futhi kungani kusisihola?
Ezinqumweni zenkantolo ngokuvamile kubhala ngokungafani kwezithakazelo njengesizathu sokuhlukanisa. Eqinisweni, lokhu akusikho isizathu esiyiqiniso futhi esiyiqiniso, ngoba empeleni kukhona abantu abahlukene abanezintshisekelo ezahlukene, kodwa yingakho sifunda ukuhlangana ndawonye, ukuqonda umlingani wethu. Lapha yonke into yenzalo kuphela, ekutholeni izinto zokuzilibazisa okuthile okuthakazelisayo futhi kuye, ekukwazi ukwamukela umuntu njengoba ekhona. Khona-ke izithakazelo ze-polar aziyona inkinga nhlobo, ngokuphambene nalokho, kuyathakazelisa ukubona umhlaba ngokusebenzisa ezinye amehlo futhi uzizwe ngenhliziyo, uthola kuyo ngokwakho.
Isizathu esifanayo sokuxabana, ukuhlukunyezwa emshadweni nokuhlukanisa kungaba umehluko eminyakeni eyishumi noma ngaphezulu kumunye nomunye umlingani. Kulokhu, kunzima kakhulu ukulalela izithakazelo zomunye noma omunye ukuyiqonda, futhi izinhlelo zokuphila zombili izigaba zeminyaka angeke zihambisane. Izinkinga eziphakama ngesisekelo sokwehlukana okuphawulekayo zingaba nomqondo wengqondo, noma ezenhlalakahle noma ezibonakalayo. Kodwa, naphezu kwakho konke lokhu, imibhangqwana enjalo isekela kahle umshado wayo futhi iphile ngokujabula iminyaka eminingi. Iziphi izizathu ezizobaluleke kakhulu?
Mhlawumbe, esinye sezizathu ezibaluleke kakhulu kuzoba ukuziqhenya nokungaqondi kahle. Bavimbela umuntu ukuba angasisekeli umshado wabo nomndeni wabo. Ukuzidla, ukungakwazi ukwenza izinto, ukubandlulula, kungadlala nehlaya elinonya nawe. Ingxabano ngayinye ingakhula ibe yinto engaphezulu, iqukethe izinhlamba eziningi nakakhulu komunye nomunye. Khona-ke ukuphila kuhlale kungenakulinganiswa. Ikhono lokuqonda umuntu kubalulekile kangangokuthi ngezinye izikhathi siqaphela ukungabi khona kwakhe kakhulu. U-empathize, uthando nokuhlonipha - amakhono abaluleke kakhulu, ngendlela esiqondisa ngayo ubuhle, ukuqinisa izimiso zethu zokuziphatha.
Ukuze ugweme isahlukaniso, kubalulekile ukucabangela futhi isizathu esinjalo sokungakwazi ukwamukela izikhundla zomuntu othandekayo. Kudingeka ukwazi ukulalela umlingani wakho, ukumsekela nganoma iyiphi indlela, ukwazi ukunikela futhi unike uthando lwakho. Ngokuvamile abantu babhekana nenkinga enjengokuhluleka ukuveza imizwa yabo. Kuzuzisa ukutadisha isikhathi eside, ukuvuleka emhlabeni kanye nomlingani, zama ukulahla konke ukwesaba kwakho nokuzidla kwakho, hamba ngokwakho. Phela, akekho odinga indoda engayamukela kuphela uthando, eyithatha yona futhi ingakwazi ukunikeza noma yini ngokubuyisela. Sonke sifuna ukubona ukuthi sithandwa, sithatha izimpawu zokunakwa, sazi ukuthi usadinga.
Funda ukuzinza ngokwakho ubugovu, ukwamukela nokunikeza uthando, uqonde umlingani wakho, okunye okungenzeka abe ngumphikisi. Ngakho-ke, uzokunciphisa kakhulu ingozi yesehlukaniso futhi wenze ukuphila kwakho kube nzima.
Isisindo esikhulu futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo isizathu esizwakalayo sokuhlukanisa udlame. Ngeshwa, le nkinga ayikude nathi noma amazwe ethu, futhi ukubonakaliswa kobudlova kubanda kaningi, futhi ezimweni eziningi kufihliwe kakhulu. Izizathu eziyinhloko yizici ezingokwengqondo nezenhlalo zesicelo sakho. Ukuhlukanisa phakathi kokuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo, ngokomzimba, ngokocansi. Futhi emhlabeni wezokwelapha kwengqondo nokufika kobuchwepheshe bangena esikhathini esisha - i- cybernetting, ubudlova be-cybernetic. Ngalokhu sisho, isibonelo, ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo okufanayo esingayisebenzisi ngamazwi, kodwa ngokusebenzisa imidiya, isibonelo, ukusakaza izithombe ze-intanethi kwi-Intanethi.
Ubudlova bungabonakaliswa ngabantu abaphangi, abantu abanezifo ezingqondweni, kanye nalabo asetshenziswe lokhu ebuntwaneni. Ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi asikwazi ukuthola ukuthi umlingani wethu uzoziphatha kanjani emva komshado, ukuvula ekuqaleni zonke izici zengqondo zomphefumulo wakhe nokuziphatha kwakhe. Ngakho-ke, sinenkinga ngobudlova, kokubili izisulu ezithile kanye nomphakathi wonke.
Esinye sezimbangela zobudlova kungaba ukuphuza ngokweqile, okuyinto eyimbangela ehlukile yokuhlukanisa. Uma siqaphela ukuthi imikhuba emibi ibonakala kumuntu esimthandayo, sizama konke ngomzamo wethu wokumsiza, ukulungisa isimo ... Kodwa kwenzeka ukuthi umuntu othandekayo ushona ngenxa yokuthembela, akafuni ukusebenzisana nanoma ubani futhi athathe noma yiziphi izinyathelo, ukuyilungisa ngokwakho. Uphenduka umuntu ohluke ngokuphelele, eguqule ukuziphatha kwakhe, elahlekelwa ngumuntu wakhe wangaphambili.
Ngokudabukisayo, kodwa izinto ezehlukene zenzeka, noma kunjalo, kufanelekile ukulwa nenjabulo yakho futhi usebenze ngokwakho. Ngezinye izikhathi isahlukaniso siyadingeka, futhi ukutholakala kwayo akusho ukuthi impilo yakho ayikwazi ukuphucula.
Indlela ongesabi ngayo ukungalingani kwengqondo nomlingani, umehluko omkhulu weminyaka, izinhlelo ezahlukene nokubukwa empilweni - uthando lwangempela azikho izithiyo. Ngaphambi kokuthandana, kulula ukunyathela kunoma yikuphi ubunzima nezinkinga, ukususa empilweni ngisho nezimbangela zokuhlukana ezingokomzwelo zengqondo.
Ngakho-ke, thandana futhi uthandeke, unike uthando nothando, ujabulele zonke izintshisekelo zomshado, uphumelele wena futhi ngokwakho, ngoba ubumbano babantu ababili bubuciko obudinga ukufundwa nsuku zonke, futhi uthando, njengoba u-Chekhov uthe, yiwona obaluleke kakhulu ekuphileni komndeni.