Futhi akukhona ngengozi: kuyoxhomeka ekuziphatheni komunye wabo ukuthi ngabe umhlangano wesibili uzokwenzeka yini nhlobo. Futhi usuku lwesibili, njengoba kwaziwa, luhlukaniswa nethuba eliphakeme kakhulu lokuba yisiqalo sento ebalulekile. Kwenzekani lapho usuku lokuqala luphela futhi isikhathi esingaqondakali sokucabanga ngezinyathelo ezilandelayo siza?
Ngokwezibalo, abesifazane abangaphezu kuka-80% baziphatha okufanayo emva kosuku lokuqala: bayakhohlwa ekuboneni isikhathi eside ngamagama akhulunywe emhlanganweni, ukuthinta kanye nemicimbi ekhonjiwe. Emva kwalokho, ngokuhlaziya ngokucophelela amaphutha abo kanye nezenzo eziphumelelayo ngosuku lokuqala, lona wesifazane uqhubekela esigabeni esilandelayo sokucabanga ngemiphumela yomhlangano - isipiliyoni esingenaso isinyathelo sokuqhubeka naye. Kodwa ukuziphatha kwakhe emva kosuku lokuqala kungahlukahluka kakhulu, futhi kuncike ezimweni eziningana, phakathi kwalezi zengqondo ezihlukanisa amaqembu amathathu ezici ezinqume izenzo zesikhathi esizayo zamadoda.
Ubani intombazane endoda?
Okokuqala, konke kuxhomeke ukuthi ubani lona wesifazane onomuntu obenalo usuku lokuqala. Uma lokhu kuyinto esilindelwe isikhathi eside, intombazane ayithandana naye isikhathi eside futhi emuva kokuthola ubungane naye noma imibono embalwa emnandi - ukuziphatha kwakhe emva komhla wokuqala kuyingxenye yecebo elihlelwe ngaphambilini lokunqoba indlovukazi yakhe. Ngaphakathi kohlaka lwalolu hlelo, ezinye iziphambeko ezivela kuhlu oluhleliwe lwezenzo zivumelekile, kodwa zancishiswa ekuvunyelaneni okuncane kuphela ezimweni. Lapha kunesimo esibalulekile: uma lowo owake waphupha isikhathi eside engazange abe yilokho ayecabanga ngakho, cishe uzoqhubeka nokuwina, kodwa ngeke akwazi ukunqoba ukunqoba kwakhe .
Okwesibili ukujwayela okungahleliwe noma intombazane eyayingakaqaphelwa futhi yangena ngokuzumayo engqondweni yakhe. Ukuziphatha komuntu emva kokuqala kokuqala okunomuntu ozenza umlingani wokuphila naye esikhathini esizayo kungaba okungafani kakhulu. Angambiza ngehora elifanayo, lapho umhlangano wenziwa khona, ukubonga ngobusuku obumnandi, noma mhlawumbe ungakaze uvele ekuphileni kwakhe. Lapha, lezi zici ezimbili ezilandelayo zikhomba ukuziphatha komuntu.
Usuku luhambe kanjani?
Uma, ngenkathi behamba ngaphansi kwenyanga yothando, bobabili bakwazi ukukhohlwa ngokuphelele ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo ngalokho okudingekile ukuxoxa emhlanganweni nomuntu ongamazi, khona-ke umuntu angaqiniseka ukuthi ubuhlobo obunjalo buzoqhubeka ngokuqinisekile. Futhi ngamathuba okungaba ngu-90%, azoqala umuntu. Kuye, ukukhanya ekusebenzelaneni nowesifazane, okungenasitatimende esibi kakhulu namanothi anganaki, kubaluleke kakhulu. Kubantu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuvala ngisho nowesifazane ukuze bangazizwa bephoqelelwe isidingo sokuphulekisa lokhu ngandlela-thile. Ngakho-ke, ukuziphatha komuntu emva komhlangano, lapho ababambiqhaza bavele baxolise ngaphambi kwemisebe yelanga - kubikezelwa: ngokushesha noma kamuva empilweni yowesifazane onjalo, ngokuqinisekile uzovela. Kodwa isikhathi esizobiza ngayo - kuxhomeke kwisici sesithathu esithonya isinqumo somuntu emva kosuku lokuqala.
Izimo zokubamba iqhaza emhlanganweni.
Akuyona njalo idethi nomuntu ongaziwayo, osebenza naye noma umngane - isinyathelo esinqunyelwe umuntu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngokusho kwezibalo, isinqumo sokuhlela umhlangano onjalo sizenzeke ngamacala angu-68 ngaphandle kwekhulu. Ngakho-ke, akukhona ngempela ukuziphatha noma ngokusemthethweni umuntu ozoqala usuku olutholakala mahhala. Angalungiselelwa ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ezilandelayo uhambo olubalulekile, okungukuthi okungenani okungenzeka kunobungozi. Futhi namanje angalindelwa ngandlela-thile intombazane, ubudlelwane obuhlala nayo isikhathi eside noma ngaphezulu akuyihlezi, kepha isibindi sokuphumula asanele. Kulokhu, uma umuntu efanelwe, khona-ke uzodinga isikhathi sokuhlangana, anqume futhi akhulume naye mayelana nekhefu. Ngezinye izikhathi emva kokuqala kokuqala indoda iqala ukunqoba izinkimbinkimbi, okungukuthi, ubulili obunamandla bunzima kakhulu kunabesifazane. Kulesi simo, ukuziphatha komuntu emva komhlangano kuzokuthembela ngokuzimisela komuntu owake wakwazi ukuvusa kuye ukungabaza kuye kanye namahloni ngamagama akhulunywa. Noma kusuka kulokho okuzungezile: ubuhlobo obumnandi kaningi bubusindisa ukuba khona eceleni komngane wesilisa ongabaza isithunzi sakhe sisombono oqondile ngesimo.
Yiqiniso, i-heroine yosuku lokuqala, ikhwalithi yomhlangano nezimo ezixhumanisa amathuba omuntu akuzona zonke izici ezithinta ukuziphatha kwakhe esikhathini esizayo. Kukhona nezinombolo zezikhathi eziguquguqukayo zethonya. Phakathi kwabo, nezenzo zomncintiswano ongaphumelelanga, ongavimbela indoda ukuba iqhubeke nobuhlobo bayo. Futhi kwenzeka ngokungahambi kahle, lapho umuntu ezwa ngokungazelelwe ukuthi akuyona into ehle kakhulu yomngane wakhe, lowo wesifazane ayefihla kuye.
Into eyodwa mayelana nokuziphatha komuntu kule nkathi enzima, elandela usuku lokuqala, kungashiwo ngokuqiniseka: indoda ethandwayo iyafuna ithuba lokuhlangana nento yokufisa kwayo. Futhi ukulwa nale "search radar" akusizi ngalutho. Ngakho-ke, usuku lwesibili kulesi simo ngokuqinisekile - ngengozi noma ngokukhethekile, kodwa luzokwenzeka. Kodwa lokhu kuphela esimweni sokuthi lo muntu wathandana nomngane wakhe ngosuku lokuqala. Kodwa-ke, ngokwezengqondo ze-psychologists, lesi sishwankathelo somhlangano wezocansi ezinamandla akuyona into engavamile: cishe amaphesenti angama-60 ensizwa atholakala othandweni ngosuku lokuqala. Yiqiniso, phakathi kwabahlanganyeli abavuthiwe emhlanganweni we-tete-a-tete, lolo thando lubonakala kuphela kuma-28% amacala. Noma kunjalo, ngokumelene nesizinda senkomba efanayo, kepha kulabo besifazane, ezingeni lika-6%, le miphumela iyamangalisa.