Futhi endleleni, uma ucabanga ngakho, lo mbuzo awunayo i-philosophical overtones futhi ungaba owodwa nokwenza okwakhiwa kwesikhathi "Yini okufanele uyenze?" Futhi "Ubani ongabekwa icala?"
Incazelo yowesifazane ongcono (hhayi ukudideka nomfazi ofanelekayo!) Ezikhathini ezahlukene namakhulu eminyaka kwaqondwa ngezindlela ezahlukene. Kunoma yikuphi, kwakuxhomeke kakhulu ekulawuleni ukuziphatha okuzungezile futhi, empeleni, ukuziphatha okubi "kwamadoda". Kodwa isikhathi siqhubeke, imibono ishintshile ... Futhi manje, ukufaneleka komuntu wesifazane futhi kubhekisela into enhle engacabangi.
Mayelana nabesifazane abahle kakhulu abalimi basho kancane futhi abangaqondakali, ngoba bona, njenge-stale, e-mundane ne-pragmatic, bayazi kahle ukuthi akunakho lokhu. Noma kunjalo, lokhu akubavimbeli ukuba baxoxisane nemigomo yalezi "mqondo," ngoba izazi zesayensi yezinto zenuzi zixoxa ngazo zonke izinhlobo zezimangalo lapho, njengama positron nezinye i-antimatter, engokwemvelo engekhona ngempela!
Ngesizathu esithile, kunombono wokuthi owesifazane ofanelekayo noma ngokuvamile kufanele abe yisimungulu, noma akhulume ngokuthula, ngokuthula nangokuncane-kancane. Ngikhumbula i-anecdote ngamadoda amabili, omunye wabo okhononda ngombono wesifazane, kanti owesibili - ondlunkulu-owesifazane: "... Ngizobuya ekhaya, futhi uzokhipha ama-slippers, futhi alethe iphephandaba, ahlale esihlalweni, futhi uhlezi eceleni kwakhe futhi ahlabe, uyaphonsa, uphonsa ... ngakho-ke uzoba! "
Pho kungani amadoda esabela ngokukhathazeka ukuze afise isifiso sokukhuluma. Konke mayelana nokuhlelwa okhethekile kwesimiso sezinzwa. Incwadi yase-Australia yamantombazane, eyanyatheliswa eminyakeni yama-1960 yabafundi basesikoleni esiphakeme, ifundeka kanje: "Ungangeni engxoxweni nomyeni wakho, ungakhohlwa ukuthi ukhathele kakhulu, lokho okumele ahambe ngakho yonke imizuzu nsuku zonke enkonzweni yakhe, umondle ngokuthula, futhi emva kwalokho, lapho efunda iphephandaba, ungazama ukukhuluma naye. " Ngicabanga ukuthi iningi lethu lingayinselela lokhu okushiwo, bathi, sisebenza futhi, sithola ukucindezeleka, futhi abanye bathola okuningi. Kodwa-ke, othandekayo wami, cabanga: amadoda angabantu abangaphelele kakhulu. Uke wabona okungenani kanye ukuthi amadoda angenza izinto ezimbili ngesikhathi esifanayo. Ngakho-ke ngokuphumula - abakwazi ukuphumula ngesikhathi esifanayo futhi balalele leyo nqwaba yezindaba ukuthi abesifazane bazama ukuwaqeda kakade kusukela emnyango. Ngakho-ke, singasho ngokuphepha ukuthi owesifazane ofanelekayo kufanele akhulume kuphela kumnandi kumuntu, futhi emva kokuba yena ngokwakhe eveza futhi ephumula.
Manje ake sicabange ngendoda enhle yowesifazane ongcono. Okokuqala, inkulumo ethi "Uhlakaniphile kakhulu," "Uyamangalisa," "Ngiyaziqhenya ngawe," njalo njalo, ngendlela efanayo, okungahle kwenzeke. Awukwazi ukuphazamisa iphalishi ngamafutha! Amadoda abambelela ekukhoneni, awukwazi ngisho nokungabaza. Futhi ukuphakama kwabo kuphakama ukuphakama, uma bezimisele kakhulu bavala ingqondo. Kuyisono sokungazisebenzisi isimo esinjalo! Kodwa lapha into eyinhloko akuyona ukungaphezu kwayo, futhi loluhlangothi, ngeshwa, alukwazi ukuzwa abesifazane abaningi.
Omunye umusho, ngakho-ke ukusho ukuthi ukulungiswa kwe-hook ekhoneni lokuzibamba yi-banal "Nginomuzwa kanjani ngawe"? Njengoba ezwa njalo ukuthi uqondisa amathemba ayenziwe kuye, indoda ayinakwenzeka ukuyofuna "ukwabelana okungcono."
Uma uhlaziya ngokucophelela ukuthi yikuphi okufanele abesifazane bashoyo, inkulumo ethi "ngokuqinisekile" iwela ekulinganisweni kwenkulumo ethi "Unomama / ubaba omangalisayo (-e, -ye). Yena wakhulela indoda yangempela. " Uma siqonda, sonke sizalwa futhi sikhuliswa ngabazali, futhi kubonakala sengathi "okhokho bethu" babaluleke kakhulu, BUT! Sibuyela embuzweni wokuziqhenya kwamadoda ...
"Njengoba wenza lokho, akekho owenzayo!", "Angikaze nginalo into enjalo!", "Nkulunkulu, kuhle kangakanani kuwe" ... Nakuba kungenjalo, mayelana nesigci sokugcina esivela kumfazi okahle, mhlawumbe ngithokozile. Indoda ayilungele ukubekezelela embhedeni noma ubani ongenakuqhathanisa, ngisho nakakhulu ... "Emgodini" wakhe, indoda yangempela iyinkosi nkulunkulu, futhi owesifazane ongcono kufanele aveze ngalokhu ngale ndlela (ngezinye izikhathi hhayi kuphela kumuntu, kodwa ngokwakhe!).
Owesifazane omuhle ngempela uthi ngomyeni wakhe uhlale eningi futhi enhle kuphela. Ngokombono wama-48% wabamele abaxoxwa nabo ngokobulili obunamandla, owesifazane ongcono ekuqondeni kwabo kufanele akhulume izinto ezihlakaniphile kuphela, kodwa ... abonakale behlakaniphile kunomngane wabo. Yiqiniso, kuphela abangu-9% wabaphendulile bavuma ukuthi banesithakazelo ekuthembekeni kwe-interlocutor.
Owesifazane ongcono kufanele akhulume nendoda: tshela umphathi ukuthi umngane wakhe usematasa futhi akakwazi ukusebenza ngeSonto, ngoba uyisisebenzi esibaluleke kunazo zonke (lapha, akekho omunye ovumelene); Tshela umama wakhe - uninazala, ukuthi konke kugcinwa kuye kuphela; Tshela abangani bakho ukuthi uhlanganyele emidlalweni (lapha, ubukela imidlalweni yebhola, elele embhedeni nephephandaba kanye nebhodlela likabhiya). Kumele kube uhlobo "lomlomo" wensindiso, indawo yokukhosela ebunzima "baleli zwe."
Owesifazane omuhle kufanele akhulume kahle. Ngisho nokuhlambalaza emlonyeni wakhe kungahle kube yindumiso. Akufanele akhulume ngaye ngokwakhe, ngoba yonke impumelelo yakhe encane iyinqobe yamadoda amakhulu.
Futhi ekuphetheni kwe "inhloko emfushane" mayelana nokuthi yini abesifazane abafanele bayisho, ngingathanda ukufaka ibinzana elizwile komunye wabangane bami: "Owesifazane ongcono akafani nami. Ngami - okungcono! ". Ngakho-ke kungaba kuhle, bona, laba "besifazane abahle", hamba emgodini, uhlelwe ...