Ngokusho kwengqondo, abantu baphinde baphinde bacabangisise. Lokhu kusho ukuthi mhlawumbe abathandanga izinkanuko zaseMexico, kodwa bazama ukufunda izinhlangothi ezingalungile nezihle zabakhethiweyo abasha noma abakhethiweyo ngaphambi kokuba bakhethe ukuhlala ndawonye. Kodwa nokho ukwesaba kwabantu abanjalo akusikho isizathu futhi kuvivinyeni inombolo emibili yemishayo.
I-romance engapheli
Umshado ungahlukanisa, futhi imizwa ingaphila. Esimweni esingenakulinganisela, iseluleko esithi "ungadabuki" (faka, siphonsa ekhanda lakho), "thola omunye," kubonakala njengesiqondiso sesenzo, futhi cishe ngosuku olulandelayo ngemuva kokuhlukanisa, kuqale ukuqala ukubuyela emuva, umhlangano nanoma iyiphi inhloli-mahhala, hang in izingxoxo. Ngesinye isikhathi, ukuze kugonywe ukukhathazeka, ubuhlobo obunzima bubekwa ne-counter yokuqala- "ukumshaya, umhlukumezi."
Ngokwezibalo zengqondo, lokhu kuziphatha akulungile. Ukushintshwa komuntu oyedwa nomunye kufakwe "ukuphila kwezintathu". Uzoqhathanisa abalingani ngokuzibandakanya - yiqiniso, hhayi kokubili, ongathandwa. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ingozi yokudlulisela imodeli yobudlelwano obudala emnyangweni omusha inkulu. Ikakhulukazi kuyiphutha ukushada ngokuphindiselela - uzokwenza uzikhandle kakhulu. Ukuhlambalaza okufihliwe ngokuvamile kuholela ezifweni ezingqondweni, isibonelo, i-VSD, isimo sokunganakwa. Uthando oluthandwayo luyindlela yokuzilahla: kusuka kugwayi kanye no-alcohol, amanethiwekhi omphakathi noma imidlalo yekhompyutha. Ngakho-ke sizama ukugwema izinkinga kwenye into yangempela. Ubuhlobo bokugcina kumele bube nolwazi ukuze kukhishwe imizwa yangaphambilini. Akumangalisi ukuthi: "Ukuhlukanisa izingane kungukufa okuncane." Kumelwe uhambe nobuhlungu, zinike ithuba lokuba yedwa, ukhale, uhlupheke. Kuthatha isikhathi esingakanani? Omunye nenyanga banele, kepha omunye uzodinga iminyaka eminingana. Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqedela ubuhlobo obunenjongo ukuze uqale amasha. Into esemqoka akumele ukulalela (abanye), kodwa ulalele (ngokwakho). Izingane zilalela, futhi abadala ngokwabo benza izinqumo futhi banomthwalo wemisebenzi yabo.
Udinga usizo
Indoda yesibili (yesithathu, yesine) - isithandwa esifanayo sokuphuza, umkhohlisi noma umbukeli, njengowokuqala? Wena uphinde ukhiphe konke ku-hump wakho, nakuba isithunzi somlingani wakho wangaphambili senze ukuba uhlukanise? Cishe, awuzange uhlukanise izinkinga zobuntwana bakho nomndeni wabazali bakho. Ngeshwa, cishe akunakwenzeka ukwenza lokhu ngokwakho. Uma umshado omusha uphinda izimo zobuhlobo obudlulile - kuwukuhlakanipha ukufuna usizo kumuntu wezengqondo noma isazi se-psychotherapist. Ngaphandle kochwepheshe, awukwazi ukukwenza futhi uma imizwa yangaphambili ingasakwazi ukucinywa, futhi futhi uma uhlushwa yecala, umhawu noma intukuthelo.
Imizwa yecala
Ikakhulu uma ngabe ushiye umndeni, futhi umlingani oshiyiwe akahlelanga impilo yakhe.
Kulesi simo, kunengqondo ukuhlangabezana nenhliziyo yangaphambili nenkulumo enhliziyweni. Mhlawumbe usizi lwakhe luyisifiso sakho kuphela, futhi akahlali kabi kakhulu ngaphandle kwakho. Kodwa uma umuntu ezwa sengathi akakhululekile ekubeni nesizungu, umuntu angazama ukumkhuthaza, isibonelo, ukumdumisa, ukugcizelela izici zakhe ezinhle kakhulu (ngaphandle kokunikeza ithemba lokubuya kwakhe). Ingabe ufuna ukumethula kumuntu? Kunganjani! Noma kunjalo, awuzona izihambi komunye nomunye abantu. Into esemqoka akuyona ukuphoqa noma yini. Yenza kuphela uma efuna ukukusiza kuwe. Kunzima kakhulu uma imizwa yecala izwa ngokuqondene nomlingani oshonile. Lo mzwelo uqine kakhulu uma umndeni unobungane obufudumele, futhi ukufa kwenzeka ngokuzumayo. I-Samoedstvo ingaqala kusukela kumcabango womshado omusha noma inoveli. Izazi zengqondo zeluleka ukuqala ubudlelwane obunzima hhayi ngaphambi kweminyaka emithathu emva kokulahleka. I-psyche yabantu ihlelwe kakhulu kangangokuthi ngonyaka wokuqala wokuba ngumfelokazi umuntu usabhekana kakhulu nezikhathi nezimo ezihambisana nomlingani ohambayo. Ngonyaka wesibili ubuhlungu buyadonswa. Futhi kuphela umcimbi wesithathu odabukisayo uqala ukubonwa njengento yangempela, okuyinto okufanele ixolelane nayo. Kodwa-ke, uma usizi lude kakhulu - kunengqondo ukubuyela kumtholampilo.
Ngokusho kocwaningo lwezenhlalakahle, amadoda amaningi ahlukanisile aphinde ashade ngemva kweminyaka emihlanu ngemuva kokuhlukaniswa. Kodwa-ke, uma ekhululekile emithandweni yomshado engenzi lokhu, akunakwenzeka ukuthi uzokwakha umndeni eminyakeni engamashumi amabili ezayo.
Ngifuna, kodwa nginovalo
Ungabahlakaza, ubalekele, bese uthola isehlukaniso iminyaka. Ngempela, okwakubaluleke kakhulu kuwe, kubonakala kungenasisekelo. Njengendebe, yahlakazeka yaba yizicucu ezincane ezingenakuhlanganiswa ndawonye. Ngenxa yalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho, abantu abaningi abahlukanisile sebelokhu besaba ukungena ebuhlotsheni obunzima.
Iphupho lesikhulu
Kodwa kaningi siphuthumayo izidingo zomlingani nathi. Kwabaningi, umshado wokuqala awufundisi nhlobo ukuthi umuntu akaphelele. Bashada futhi ngokuqiniseka ngokuqinile: lo muntu ngokuqinisekile akakwazi ukuhlakaza amasokisi kodwa igumbi futhi angalokothi awele umngcele wendlu ngaphandle kwesixha sama roses!
Njengomthetho, ukuhlala nenduna, umuntu kumele abe yinkosikazi. Lokhu kungukuthi, owesifazane obenamakhono afanayo: ohlakaniphile, omuhle, onolwazi, olungiswa kahle, nomninindlukazi omuhle kakhulu, futhi engcono kakhulu ukunakekelwa kwezingane, nokwenza umsebenzi, ukuthola impilo ... Futhi konke lokhu ngesikhathi esifanayo! Vuma ngobuqotho: ingabe ungumuntu omuhle? Pho kungani ulindele lokhu kusuka okhethiweyo wakho?
Umbuzo wezingane Mhlawumbe, esinye sezikhathi ezibaluleke kakhulu emshadweni olandelayo yizingane ezisuka kumlingani wokuqala. Abesifazane bavame ukwenza amaphutha amabili amakhulu. Okokuqala, abesifazane bayaqiniseka ukuthi umyeni omusha kufanele athande ingane yakhe engaphansi kukababa wangempela. Okwesibili, awukwazi ukuqondisa ubuhlobo bezingane - ezakhe kanye nezingane zomshade naye - ngendlela efanele.
Kubalulekile ukucacisa ukuthi wena nomntanakho bangabantu abahlukile. Ngakho-ke, ungalindeli ukuthi oshade naye omusha uzothanda ingane yakho njengokungathi eyakhe. Futhi, umuntu akakwazi ukucabanga ukuthi uma umyeni omusha engenayo imizwa eqinile inzalo yakho, khona-ke akazizwa nawe. Amadoda angavamile ngempela ukuthanda izingane zabanye abantu, lokho kungokwemvelo. Futhi-ke umlingani wakho omusha angaba ngumntwana ophansi wesane kuphela (funda: umngane nomeluleki). Futhi konke ongakucela kuye kuyinhlonipho nomoya wothando ngomntwana wakho noma indodakazi yakho.
Ladies and Gentlemen
Futhi kulabo abamele ingxenye engabuthakathaka yesintu, nangokwesilisa oqine kakhulu, umshado wesibili, okwesibili, inombolo yesibili ... Kuyintando yalowo oshade naye okwamanje ukuba aqhathanise nabangaphambili, futhi ngezinye izikhathi abafisela isikhathi esidlule, bekhumbula izinto ezinhle kuzo kwaba. Kodwa kukhona umehluko. Izingane, njengoba umthetho, uhlale nomama wazo. Umuntu, ukuze akwazi ukuxhumana nezingane zakhe, uphoqeleka ukuba adlale ngemithetho yomunye umuntu, aguqule esinqumweni senkantolo noma ngaphansi kwesimiso somkakhe wangaphambili. Abesifazane baphoqeleka ukuba baqondane ubuhlobo phakathi kwengane, ubaba wakhe nomyeni wakhe omusha ukuze izimpisi zigcwale, nezimvu ziphephile: akekho okhubazekile, hhayi umhawu noma osizi. Bonisa ukuhlakanipha nokudla okumnandi. Okokuqala, lawula ngokucacile isikhathi sokuxhumana phakathi komuntu oshade naye nengane. Nge-timetable uzomtshela ukuthi manje unokuphila kwakho siqu, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo ufundisa ukuthi uvakashele umntwana njalo ukuze angazizwa enganakwa ubaba. Okwesibini, akufanele ubuze oshade naye ukuthi abe yindodana noma indodakazi yakho okwesibili ubaba. Kwanele ukuthi wayengumfana omuhle.
Ngokuvamile, phakathi kwabahlengile emishadweni yangaphambilini, ukuncintisana kuqhuma, ikakhulukazi uma banobudala obufanayo. Wonke umuntu unomona ngomzali wakhe, efuna ukunakekelwa ngokwakhe. Izingane zingaziphindiselela komunye nomunye. Umntwana omdala naye usinda emndenini wokuqala, lapho kuzalwa umfowabo noma udadewabo. Angakuzwa ungakhululekile, ucasuliwe, ikakhulukazi uma ubuhlobo bakhe nobaba wakhe wesifazane engasungulwa. (Isimo sombukiso isimo: ungumama wesigqila futhi awukatholi ulimi olufanayo nengane yomyeni wakho.) Izazi zezinqondo zincoma ukuthi: ngaphambi kokubeletha umntwana ohlangene, uthathe izihluthulelo ezinhliziyweni zokukhula, udinga ukukhuluma nengane, mhlawumbe yedwa, ukumnika isikhathi esiningi, ukuba nesithakazelo ezenzweni zakhe zokuzilibazisa, umculo owulalelayo, njalonjalo. Ngendlela, izipho, ezibiza kakhulu, azibala! Uma ungeke ukwazi ukufeza ukuvumelana, kungcono ukuphendukela kwesazi sengqondo. Futhi mhlawumbe ngokushesha, kuze kube yilapho impikiswano emndenini wakho isiye kude.