Ngokuvamile kufanele sihlukanise nabathandekayo bakho. Sithanda nje kuphela, sifuna ukubamba konke okuphilayo! "Kanjani ukulahlekelwa uthando?" - sivame ukuzibuza. Ngemuva kokuhlukaniswa, akugcini nje ukuqinisa ubudlelwane futhi wanezela imihlangano yothando. Lokhu kuyingozi enkulu - uthando ngokude: kanjani ukuziphatha esimweni esifanayo? Ake sikhulume ngazo zonke izinzuzo nezindleko zobuhlobo obunjalo.
EZIMBINI EZIMBILI
Isimo 1. Indoda yakho isebenza kwenye idolobha cishe unyaka manje. Ukuhamba kwakho kuye kuhlehliswa njalo ngenxa yomsebenzi nomama, okuzokwenzeka lapho ushiya khona. Futhi ngokuzumayo ujwayelene nendoda ethandekayo kakhulu. Uyakuthanda nawe futhi ugcizelela ubuhlobo obuseduze. Futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngisho ikunikeze isipho. Futhi ngokuzumayo uzithola "unxantathu": wena, umyeni wakho, ode kakhulu, futhi omthandayo, nomngane wakho othanda wena. Yini okufanele ngiyenze?
Ukuze uqonde le nxantathu futhi wenze isinqumo esifanele, kufanele uqale ukhethe phakathi komama nomyeni. Uyazi ukuthi kungani uthando lomama lubizwa ngokuthi luhlobo oluhle kakhulu lothando? Kungenxa yokuthi umama uvumela ingane yakhe ukuba iphile impilo ehlukile kuye.
Futhi, yiqiniso, unquma ukuthi uthando lwakho luphelelwe umyeni wakho nokuthi ubani wamadoda amabili owakhayo ekuphileni kwakho, kufanele wena (ngaphandle kosizo nonina). Futhi into esemqoka ukuqonda okufunayo.
Ebudlelwaneni obusha, abesifazane bahlale bekhangwa umzuzwana wendabuko, uthando. Futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, kunzima kakhulu ukushintsha indlela yakho yokuphila evamile futhi uye kwenye idolobha kunokuba udale ukuxhumana okusha "lapha no manje". Imisebenzi efana nokuthutha nokuthola imisebenzi emisha idinga umzamo omkhulu namandla. Kodwa kukhona ibhonasi enkulu - ebuhlotsheni obedlule ukuhlolwa kokuhlukaniswa, eziningi zobuso be-foam zivezwe. Ukuthembela ndawonye, ukuzethemba othandweni lomunye nomunye, ukuzinikela. Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, uthando olunqobile ama-vicissitudes anjalo luba luhle ngokwengeziwe emehlweni abalingani ngokwabo. Baqala ukuphatha kahle ngokucophelela.
Kumele uthathe ubukeka obuhle ebuhlotsheni nomngane wakho omusha bese uthola ukuthi kufanelekile ukushintsha izimpilo zabo. Yini umngane omusha angakunika yona? Ingabe uzojabula naye? Iyiphi ikusasa le nhlangano ingaba nayo?
UKUTHANDA IMISEBENZI
Isimo 2. Usebenza kwenye idolobha. Uhlelo lwakho lubukeka kanje: isonto ohlala ekhaya, isonto elide. Umsebenzi wakho ubaluleke kakhulu kuwe, futhi ukhokhelwe kahle. Othandekayo wakho ekuqaleni wayephikisana nokuhamba kwakho, kodwa wakwazi ukumqinisekisa ukuthi kungaba ngcono kokubili. Uyamthanda, kodwa nawe ufuna ukuzibona njengomuntu ochwepheshe! Nokho, maduzane ucabanga ukuthi uthola lo msebenzi ukuthi ubalekele ekhaya. Futhi ukuthi udinga nje ukuhlukanisa nomuntu oyithandayo.
Ngokuvamile, ngenjabulo yowesifazane wesimanje, uthando olulodwa alwanele, ufuna ukuzibonela emsebenzini noma emsebenzini. Lapha, ekuboneni kokuqala, kunezinzuzo kuphela. Kodwa esimweni esifanayo, kukhona ukuphazamiseka: ukufuna ngokujulile uthando nokusondelana, ufuna ukuhlala ukhululekile. Uyesaba ukuzilahleka ngokuba yingxenye yomlingani wakho. Futhi uzizwe ukwesaba ukuthi othandekayo uzothatha amandla akho nesikhathi sakho.
Ake sibone. I-dialectic yothando lwangempela yikhono lokuziphatha kahle, okungukuthi, ukugcina ubudlelwane obukhululekile kuwo wonke amabanga. Uma udinga inkululeko ebuhlotsheni, mhlawumbe le simiso ikuvumela ukuba ugcine uthando? Futhi akufanele ucabange imicabango emibi? Ngaphezu kwalokho, othandekayo wami wavumelana nesinqumo sakho.
Akukho okuyihlazo, isibonelo, ukuphumula ngokwehlukana. Emva kwakho konke, ukugcwala imizwelo yakho ngezwe lakho langaphakathi, khona-ke unganika omunye nomunye okuningi kunalokho uma upheka njalo. Ngakho-ke, kaningi kakhulu emibhangqwaneni lapho bobabili abalingani bezondla futhi bezethemba, uthando olude luqinisa ubuhlobo. Abalingani banethuba lokungaphupha kuphela ngesihloko sokuphila okukhululekile, kodwa futhi nokubona intengo yayo yangempela. Ngakho-ke, kuhle ukubeka izinto ezibalulekile.
IZINHLANGANO EZIKHULULEKILE
Isimo 3. Imisebenzi yakho oyithandayo kwenye idolobha izinsuku ezingu-5 ngesonto futhi iza kuwe ngezimpelasonto namaholidi. Phakathi nemihlangano yakho, uzama ukunikeza isikhathi isikhathi somunye nomunye. Kodwa ungathanda ukuba naye njalo. Ubuhlobo bakho bubukeka buqinile, kodwa uhlale uhlotshiswe yibuhlungu bokungabaza ukuthi lolu thando olude futhi lufushane emihlanganweni yezimpelasonto luzoholela ekuphumeni.
Ukwesaba kwakho, cishe kungenzeka, kuyize. Phela, emhlanganweni omfushane ngempelasonto, uzinikezela ngokugcwele komunye nomunye. Ukuphuka kwangempela akuyona umhlangano omfushane, kodwa ukungabi nomzwelo. Yiqiniso, kungokwemvelo ukuthi uma uthanda, ufuna ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi nomuntu wakho othandekayo. Kodwa hhayi njalo labo ababonana njalo nsuku zonke, bejabule kunalabo abahlala behlukanisa njalo.
Iqiniso liwukuthi thina kuphela thina sakha ubudlelwane bethu nabantu abaseduze futhi sinquma ukuthi siziphathe kanjani kahle. Akekho ngaphandle kwethu oyosijabulisa. Iseluleko esikhulu kule nkinga ukwenza okuthile okuthakazelisayo ngesikhathi lapho othandekayo wakho engekho. Isibonelo, ukufunda izilimi, yoga, ukudweba, ukucula - noma yini! Khona-ke kuyoba mnandi ukuthi ube yedwa nawe. Uzoba namathuba amakhulu okukhula nokuzikhulisa. Futhi imihlangano yakho nabathandekayo bakho iyoba namandla nakakhulu kunakuqala, ngoba uzoba nokuthile okuzokwabelana ngakho!
Futhi into esemqoka: ngenkathi wena nabathandekayo bakho ninesifiso sokukhuluma, belalelani, niqondisane, akukho lutho olungakuvimba ekuthandeni nasekuhlanganiseni ndawonye, ngisho nasekude.
NGAPHANDLE NOMHLABA
Isimo 4. Ushadile iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-3. Ngonyaka odlule uhlangana nomyeni wakho njalo ezinyangeni ezimbalwa, ngoba washiya ukusebenza, isibonelo, eHolland. Ugcina imali yefulethini, futhi isinqumo sesikhashana sahlukana. Umyeni wami wayevame ukuthi isikhathi sizohamba ngokushesha, futhi maduzane uzoba khona. Kodwa maduze nje wathi kuwe: "Ngiya e-Atlanta ngonyaka, ngoba sidinga imali yokuhlala." Ulahlekile futhi udidekile: "Akangithandi nhlobo! Futhi isidingo sokuthola imali yefulethini yisisusa kuphela. "
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, baningi phakathi kwethu abashiya umndeni isikhathi eside ukuqinisekisa ikusasa labo. Futhi uma ucabanga futhi ngokuthi "ipharadesi endlini" ayiyona ingozi encane ebuhlotsheni kunokuba uhlukaniswe ngenxa yekusasa eliphephile, umbuzo uxazululwa ngokwawo.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lesi simo sinengqondo. Asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi umyeni wakho ngeke avuselele isivumelwano sakhe. Ekugcineni, okuningi kungashintsha ngonyaka. Ngezinye izikhathi othile oseduzane, osizayo ezimweni ezinzima futhi unikeza ukusekelwa kokuziphatha, kuba kubi kakhulu futhi ajwayele ukudlula umkakhe ngaphandle kwezwe. Into eyinhloko kuwe akufanele igijimele eziphethweni "uyakuthanda, ayithandi". Kodwa akudingekile ukuvumela izinto zihambe ngokwazo. Izazi zengqondo zincoma ezimweni ezinjalo ukunikeza umyeni wakhe uhlelo, ukuhlela konke, ukuze angabhubhisi umndeni ngenxa yemali. Isibonelo, cocisana naye ukuthi kungenzeka ukuba uhlale ndawonye e-Atlanta. Noma, uma ukuhamba kwe-Faith for America kungenakwenzeka ngesizathu esithile, kuhlelwa ngokucophelela imihlangano yesikhathi esizayo. Futhi-ke isikhathi sizokutshela ukuthi uthandekayo komunye nomunye. Ngempela, ngenxa yothando lwangempela azikho izithiyo namabanga!
KWABANTU ABAKHIMI
Isimo 5. Kusukela ebuntwaneni uphupha ukuxhuma isiphetho nomuntu womphakathi - umdlali noma umculi. Kodwa lapho iphupho lakho ligcwaliseka, kwenzeka ukuthi isikhathi sakho esithandayo sichithwa ekuvakasheni noma ekuhambeni. Kodwa uthando lwakho luhlale lukhuthazelela ukuhlukana. Futhi ngokuzumayo uzothola ukuthi wenqaba iphrojekthi ayesebenza ekhaya. Izingxabano zaqala, wazizwa ukuthi ulahlekelwa ithemba kuye. Uthi: "Ngiyacela, uyaqonda, kufanele ngihambe ngibuyele kuwe, ngibe nawe njalo!" Ingabe kuyiqiniso ngempela, futhi ukuba ube ndawonye kusho ukuhlukanisa ngaso sonke isikhathi?
Ingabe ukwesaba ukukholwa amazwi omthandayo? Khona-ke kungani ungakholelwa izenzo zakhe. Ngempela, iqiniso akulona lokho umuntu akushoyo, kodwa kungani ekhuluma. Intandokazi yakho yathi: "Kumele ngihambe ngizobuya." Uthe lokhu ngoba ufuna ukuba nawe futhi uthemba ukuqonda kwakho. Lokhu kuyiqiniso.
Yiqiniso, ayikho iresiphi evamile yothando ekude - indlela yokuziphatha kahle wonke umuntu azikhethela yona. Kodwa yini okufanele uyenze, uma insimu yakho ethandekayo yenkululeko yindawo enkulu? Lapha omunye kumele acabangele ubunikazi obubalulekile obuningi: kumadoda amaningi emisebenzi yokudala, ukukhishwa okuqhubekayo okuvela ngaphandle kuyadingeka - ukushintsha kokubonakala, indawo, abantu. Ngakho-ke, akufanele ucabange ukuthi lokhu kuyinto ongayinikezi othandekayo bakho. Kungokuthi izwe lakhe likhulu kakhulu. Ukuze uvumelane, kufanele ahlanganyele nawe ngezikhathi ezithile. Futhi lokhu kuvamile! Umbuzo kuphela ukuthi ngabe unesineke nokuqonda. Kodwa uyamthanda, okusho ukuthi uzofunda ukuqonda nokwamukela ukuthi ungubani.