Kungani sesaba isizungu?

Kubonakala sengathi luhlobo luni lozungu? Ngokuvamile kunzima ngathi ukuthatha isikhashana ukuhlala sisodwa nge-ego yethu. Kodwa ngokudabukisayo, impilo yanamuhla ayihlanganisi abantu, kodwa, ngokuphambene nalokho, iphindaphinda izilinganiso. Ukungqubuzana kwansukuzonke kanye nokuqhuma kwezimoto kushiya isikhathi esincane nesincane sokukhulumisana okubukhoma, futhi amagajethi athatha isikhundla sabangani, ukuxhumana nomphakathi kuphela ukulingana okufanayo. Konke lokhu kusenza sizizwe singasodwa. Ukuphazamiseka kokuxhumana
Umuntu uyisilwane sezenhlalo, yingakho ezwa ukungakhululeki ngokuba yedwa. Ukuziphendukela kwemvelo sijwayele kuwo, futhi kuyancipha, ukuba yiqembu - ukuqoqa ukudla ndawonye, ​​ukuzizwa kuvikelwe uma kwenzeka ukuhlaselwa kwezitha. Futhi ukwesaba ukuhlala kushiywe lapho: okwesikhathi eside sokuthuthukiswa komuntu, owashiyedwa wedwa wayengeke aphile ... Ngaphezu kwalokho, kokubili amadoda nabesifazane banesisusa esihloswe ngenhloso yokudala umndeni nokubeletha inzalo. Lokhu kuyinto evamile, futhi ukuphambuka kwayo kubangelwa izici zobuntu zomuntu noma izinkinga zengqondo ezitholwe yibo ebuntwaneni noma esekhulile.

Ngokuvamile umuntu uhlangabezana nesizungu emazingeni amabili: ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo. Njengoba sinesizungu, sisuke sizizwa ngokujulile ngaphakathi kwethu, sithandwa ngumqondo wokungabi nalutho, ukushiya, ukungabi nalutho. Njengoba kunesimo sengqondo esizimele, izinga lokuxhumana nomphakathi linciphile, futhi ukuxhumana okuvamile kuvumelana. Umzwa wokuthi "ngedwa" kubonakala ngokuyinhloko njengesidingo sokufakwa eqenjini elithile noma ukuxhumana nomunye umuntu. Sukunganeliseki okubuhlungu ngalezi zidingo. Njengoba ubuhlungu benyama busivikela ezingozini ezingokwenyama, isizungu sisasebenza "njengentuthuko yomphakathi" - ukuvikela umuntu ezinsongweni eziholela ekusongeni. Kungaba yinkomba oyidingayo ukushintsha ukuziphatha, ukhokhele kakhulu ubudlelwano. Abacwaningi eBoston University bathola ukuthi uma umuntu eqala ukuzizwa elahliwe futhi elahliwe, ke uqala ukusebenza ngentshiseko izingxenye ezifanayo zobuchopho njengalapho bathola ukulimala ngokomzimba. Kule ndaba, kwacaca ukuthi ubuchopho bomuntu buhlinzeka ngezibonakaliso ezifanayo ze-alamu ekuphenduleni ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo nangokomzimba.

Insindiso ekukhulumisaneni
Uma sizama ukuchaza imizwa esibhekana nayo yodwa, kuthiwa sikhuluma ngesimo esikukhumbuza ukufa. Isizungu kithi asiyona nje isifaniso sokufa. Sithola ukungabi nalutho kwangaphakathi, ukulahlekelwa kwencazelo kanye nesithakazelo ekuphileni, ngoba akukho lutho olusele olungafaka, lugcwalise into ebalulekile. Ngandlela-thile, ukuhlukaniswa ngokweqile kubhekana nokusebenza kwengqondo njengokufa. Akumangalisi ukuthi sithatha isizungu njengento esindayo, engenathemba - iqukethe ukwesaba okukhona, njengokungathi sesivele ethuneni, lapho kusemnyama, kuthulile, akekho muntu lutho ngaphandle kwakho.

USigmund Freud wafunda ukuzodwa ngoba uhlobene nokumesaba ukufa. Wayekholelwa ukuthi abantu besaba ukuthi ngeke bafe ngenxa yokuthi bangabi nesizungu. Ngokufa, ukuqaphela kuyaphela, kepha isimo sokuzihlukanisa, esicabanga ngaso, kodwa sonke sodwa, sikhathalela kakhulu. Indlela kuphela yokugwema lokhu ukuxhumana, ngaleyo ndlela uqinisekise ukuthi ukhona. Ukuqinisekiswa okunjalo kudingekile ukuthi i-psyche isebenze ngendlela evamile, kodwa uma ingekho, kuvela ukwesaba okujulile.

Kunzima ukucabanga, kodwa empilweni yomuntu kukhona isikhathi lapho engazizwa enesizungu. Ngokwengqondo ye-psychoanalysis, lokhu kwenzeka ebuntwaneni, ekuqaleni kwe-ego ukwakheka: ingane izwa umuzwa wokuhlanganisana nemvelo - "umuzwa we-oceanic". Ngokushesha nje lapho siqala ukucabanga, siqonde isimo sethu samanje emhlabeni, sibe "singenathemba" yedwa - bese uzama ukunqoba ngokuxhumana. Ngokwezengqondo zengqondo, ukwesaba isizungu kakhulu kunomsebenzi omuhle - kusenza sihlale sichumana. Futhi uma ubheka kabanzi emhlabeni jikelele - kuhlanganisa umphakathi wonke.

Mama, ungakhathazeki.
Singahlala emndenini omkhulu futhi sisazizwa sihlukaniswa ngokukhululekile kwabanye. Kodwa kukhona phakathi kwethu labo abangahlupheki kakhulu besondelene. Yisiphi isizathu "sokuzivikela" okunjalo? Ukuzinza okukhulu kwengqondo kwalaba bantu kufakwe eqenjini lokuthi izwe labo elingaphakathi lihlalwe yizithombe nemidwebo yezimpawu eziseduze - zisiza ukukhanyisa imizuzu, amahora nezinsuku umuntu angasebenzisa ngaphandle komphakathi womunye umuntu. Siyaqiniseka ukuthi lezi "zinto" zihlezi ngaphakathi - isibonelo, umama onakekelayo, osekelayo, - ngeke asishiye.

Ukuvuthwa nokukwazi ukuhlukanisa kusho ukuthi umntwana, ngokunakekelwa okufanele okuvela kumama, uqinisa inkolelo yesimo sengqondo esihle sengaphandle. Lesi sithombe somama wangaphakathi, okuzobe sekuzoba yinkanyezi eqondisayo kamuva, ukwesekwa nokusekelwa ezikhathini ezinzima zokuphila, kubeka phansi ngisho nasebuncane. Sakha umhlaba wethu ngesisekelo sohlangothini lwangempela. Uma umama wangempela wayekhathalela ngokwanele, ephendulayo, ethintekayo ngokomzwelo, wayesekude, lapho siphule emadolweni, siduduza, lapho sithola isikole esikoleni - isithombe sakhe bese singena ngaphakathi. Futhi uma kuba kubi, singaphendukela kuye futhi sithole amandla kuye. Ngokuvamile siphendukela kulolu nani futhi sibe nemimoya emibi, futhi uma izinto zihamba kakhulu kunanini ngaphambili. Singasho ukuthi ngenxa yalesi sibalo, sizinakekela thina nsuku zonke.

Ngokungafani, umuntu wangaphakathi wakhiwa phakathi kwalabo abathi, phakathi nezinyanga zokuqala zokuphila kwabo, bazizwa belahliwe kancane. Esikhundleni somama onakekelayo, umuntu onjalo unenhliziyo engenalutho. Ngokusho kososayensi, ukuhlangenwe nakho kokuba ngumntwana yedwa lapho kukhona unina kunomthelela omuhle ukuthi uzobona kanjani ukushiya kwakhe kamuva.

Eqinisweni, abantu abesabi isizungu esikhulu kangaka, kungakanani ukucindezeleka, ukuzihlukanisa ngaphakathi. Kulo mhlaba, kubonakala sengathi silahlekelwa ngumama wethu wangaphakathi futhi siqala ukuzizwa sinesizungu esijulile, ukulahlwa ngokuphelele nokuntuleka kothando.

Phuma umbuthano
Uma umphakathi wonke ukwesaba ukungabi nesizungu kuzuzisa, ngakho-ke ukuhlangenwe nakho ngabanye ngezinye izikhathi kuyabuhlungu kakhulu. Ingozi yokuba emgqeni ovaliwe mkhulu, uma ukwesaba ukuzihlukanisa kubangela ukuhlukana okukhulu nakakhulu. Ungasikhuluma nathi, isibonelo: "Ungahambi ngamadethi, uzosuswa, uzohlala uwedwa" noma "Ungenzi abangane - bayokukhaphela." Ukulalela izwi lokwesaba kwethu, singanaki isidingo sokukhulumisana, sithole ubuhlobo obungokomzwelo nomlingani.

Uma uzizwa unesizungu, akusho ukuthi kukhona okungalungile ngempela kuwe. Kodwa asikwazi lokhu futhi siqala ukucabanga ukuthi "akufaneleki", "akusizi ngalutho". Futhi kwenzeka ukuthi abantu abanesizungu bawela kwesinye isikhathi: benza konke okusemandleni ukuze benze abangane, ukuze bathole umuzwa wokuba ngabalingani. Lona lubuhlungu obukhulu kakhulu, olukwazi kakhulu ukuqeda yonke imizamo yokunqoba ukuzihlukanisa. Ngokuvamile intukuthelo iboniswa ngentukuthelo, ukuhlukunyezwa nokuthukuthela okuhlukanisa umuntu kuphela kwabanye.

Uma ukwesaba isizungu kuba yinto enamandla, ungazama ukuhlakulela insizakalo lapho ukwesaba kungapheli khona. Lokhu kusho ukubuyisela, ukubala okukhiphayo, unikeze ukufinyelela ekubonakalweni kothando, amahlaya, ukwethemba nokukhathazeka okuseduze.

Ukuzizwa unesizungu ekungabikho koxhumana nabo abagcwele incazelo kuyinto evamile. Emphakathini wamanje, izimfuno ezengeziwe zokusungulwa nokusekelwa kobudlelwane. Ukuhlonishwa kwesizungu kuphela njengengxenye ebalulekile yokuphila komuntu kungenza amandla okuxazulula isimo, kunokuba ahlupheke. Ukwamukela ngaphandle kokulahlwa yisinyathelo sokuqala nesilungile.