Isibonelo No. 1
Umfana wayenosuku lokuzalwa, wayazi kahle. Ingane yayineminyaka emihlanu kuphela. Ngosuku olulandelayo, abazali baqala ukubona ukuthi lapho ingane ibheka, iqala ukukhanya kakhulu, futhi izinkophe zakhe neziphequluli zihanjiswa. Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa kamuva baqaphela ukuthi umntwana wayelele ngokulala, waqhubeka eqaqa futhi ekhala ebuthongweni bakhe: "Wenzani? Awunamahloni? "
Ngemva kwesikhashana indodana yaqala ukuziphatha kabi, njalo yayihamba umsila kamama wayo, ayizange imvumele ukuba ahambe noma yikuphi ekhaya, futhi uma engena esitolo, wayezoqala ukumshaya, amemeza futhi akhale. Umama wathatha amaholide wayehlale enomntwana, kodwa isimo sakhe asizange sithuthuke. Umkhuhlane wezinzwa wathinta izihlathi zakhe nezandla, le kid ehlale ishaya isibhamu sakhe, njengokungathi wayefuna ukuthi omunye umuntu ayinike. Abazali banquma ukubona udokotela, okwathi futhi wakhetha isiguli, ukulala kwakuvamile, kodwa izimpawu ezisele zahlala, ngakho-ke zafaka isicelo sezenhlalakahle zobuhlobo bomuntu siqu.
Kwabonakala ukuthi lo mfana uyamzonda uyise, kodwa akahambisani nokuthi kungani kwenzeka. Wayelokhu ethi uyesaba ukuhlala yedwa futhi wesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumama wakhe. Ingane eminyakeni yakhe emihlanu yathi ngabesifazane, noma yini engenzeka, ngoba ayinakuzivikela. Isiguli asizange sibe nesimo sengqondo, futhi wayekhathazeka njalo ngunina futhi ebuza imibuzo: "Pravdali ukuthi amadoda anamandla kunabesifazane?". Ukuze uthole isizathu salolu shintsho lokuziphatha, abazali bakhetha ukukhumbula okwenzekile ngosuku lokuzalwa komntwana. Umama wangibuza isikhathi eside, wabe esitshela ukuthi lapho yena nomyeni wakhe behlala egumbini elingenalutho, yena, naphezu kokuthi wayephikisana naye, wamphoqa ukuba abe nobuhlobo obuseduze. Ngemva kwalokho, umyeni washiya ekamelweni, futhi umama waqala ukuphulukisa futhi ngokuzwakalayo wezwa ukukhala kwengane yakhe. Kwabe sekuthi izingane zidlale zifihle futhi zifuna futhi indodana zifihla ekamelweni futhi zibonakale konke okwenzekayo lapho. Umama wayezenza sengathi akukho okwenzekile, nakuba ayekhathazekile kakhulu. Lapho engitshela ngale ndoda, bafika esiphethweni sokuthi bangenza sengathi akukho lutho olubi olwenzekile.
Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esaziwayo sathi ngenxa yalokhu ayikho isidingo sokugula noma yikuphi ukugula, kodwa ekuseni ngakusasa umfana wayesele egula, waba neurosis. Umphumela wukuthi lo mfana wabona ukuphikiswa komama ngesikhathi sesenzo socansi. Ukubuyisela ingane kwaba yisimiso, lo mhlengikazi kwakudingeka enze imizamo eminingi, kodwa ekupheleni kokuphela, ekugcineni wabuyela.
Isibonelo No. 2
Abazali baye bahola le ntombazane iminyaka emine kudokotela ngezikhalazo, ukuthi uyingane. Ngaphandle, bekungafani nezinye izingane, ke kwenzekani kuwo?
Udinga ukwazi ukuthi ingane ngeke ikutshele izizathu, odokotela bahlale bebafuna. Into eyinhloko kudokotela ukuthi kumele aqonde isimo esingokomoya somuntu. Intombazane yayinamahloni, kodwa yayifuna ukuyala abanye. Wayefuna ukuba umholi, kodwa ngani? Uma umntwana ezwa sengathi unakwa, wabe esegijimela ukukhala, kodwa kwesinye isimo waqala ukucasula izitho zangasese futhi wayethanda, futhi wayenza njalo ngaphandle kokufihleka, kodwa ngaphambi kwamehlo kamama.
Yisiphi isizathu? Le ntombazane ayitholanga uthando olwanele oluvela kubazali bayo, ngakho wayefuna ukuheha zonke izindlela, kodwa wayengazi kanjani. Uma esebonile ukuthi abazali balala kanjani, ngakho-ke waqala ukulingisa abantu abadala, enza ukushaya indlwabu. Intombazane yalashwa, kodwa uma abazali beqaphele, lokhu kwakungeke kwenzeke.
Uma ingane yakho ibona into evinjelwe noma ingayibona ngaso sonke isikhathi, khona-ke kukhona ingozi yokuthi iyokhula ingaqondile, noma i-voobscheanyakom. Abanye bakholelwa ukuthi kungcono uma ingane ibona ukulala ngokobulili kwabazali kunezinhlamba zabo. Kungenye indaba uma umntwana ebona ubaba wakhe engasilo slymy, kodwa ngokuphambene nalokho, umama akakho nobaba. Izingane zizizwa zikhohliswa njalo.
Noma kunjalo, akufanele uvumele izimo ezinjalo ukuthi ingane ibe ngufakazi wohlobo oluthile lobuhlobo obuseduze phakathi kwakho.
Uma le kid liphethe ikamelo lakhe, khona-ke kuhle, kepha uma ebona lokho engakudingi ukubona? Mhlawumbe uzongena egumbini ngesikhathi sokupheka kakhulu futhi angaqondi lutho, vele uphume futhi ukhale noma mhlawumbe uzizwe ehlekisayo. Ungavumeli ukuthi lesi simo sibe yize, ngokushesha uqinisekise ingane, umqinisekise ukuthi uthando lwakho ngaye aluzange luphele nanoma kuphi.
Ungazikhathazi futhi ungalindeli ukumemeza ingane. Kuye kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi kwakukhona ebusweni bakho ngesikhathi lapho engena egumbini futhi wabona konke lokhu. Izingane zingase zicabange ukuthi kukhona okubi nokwesabisayo okwenzeka ekamelweni, uma kukhona inzondo nokuthukuthela ebusweni bakho.
Ungatshela ingane ukuthi wenza izenzo zezemidlalo, okungabantu ababili kuphela abangenza lokho abathandanayo. Ungamtsheli ukuthi udlale. Ezinganeni ezincane, lo mdlalo ungcwele futhi ungakuzonda ngokuba ungawushiyi nawe.
Ungamemeza futhi ungalokothi ukhahlele ekamelweni ngamazwi ngala mazwi: "Usencane! Akukukhathaleli! ". Ungenzi sengathi wenze ubugebengu.
Cacisa ngokucacile ukuthi ukubona ukuthi lokhu kuyinto engcono kunazo zonke ezingenzeka kubantu abadala, mhlawumbe ngisho nokubiza ukuthi, lapho ekhula, uzokwenza futhi. Ungasho ukuthi umnika udade noma umzalwane. Akukho lutho olungalungile lokuthi ingane ilashwa ukuthi izingane zihlotshaniswa nobuhlobo bobulili.
Lapho uneminyaka engama-2 ukuya kweyesi-3 ubudala, izingane zakha ukulangazela kobulili, umfana ufuna ukubona ukuthi unina uzohlanza kanjani, kanti intombazane iphule eshaweni nobaba wayo. Kubantwana kubalulekile ukwazi ukuthi umehluko phakathi kwendoda engabonwayo nowesifazane.
Uma ingane ingavikeli konke kubo bonke, izinkinga zingase zivele kamuva. Uma kungazelelwe ingane ingena ekamelweni lapho uphazamisa, akufanele umememe futhi umxoshe ngaphandle, kodwa kusukela eminyakeni encane, mfundise, ngaphambi kokuba ungene ekamelweni kufanele ugobe, ulinde kancane, ungene ku-apom. Uma kuze kube manje awujwayele ukujwayela le kid, yenzeni manje, ngaphambi kokuphuza kakhulu ukulungisa isimo. Chaza ingane ukuthi esikhathini esilandelayo, ngaphambi kokungena ekamelweni, makakhonqe. Uma ufuna ukunciphisa ingozi yento engayiboni into ethile, faka ukukhiya emnyango noma i-latch, futhi uma ulala egumbini elilodwa, bese ufaka isikrini, lokhu kuzokwehlisa amathuba okuba nezimo ezingathandeki.
Kodwa ngisho noma wesaba ukuthi ingane izokubona, ungayishiyi i-cutoff, qaphela nje-yenza eshaweni lapho ingane yomkhulu noma uhamba egcekeni.