Okwesithathu okungeziwe: indlela yokukhipha umkakho kunkosikazi wakhe. Ihlolwe ngomkhuba

Uthando Triangle - isibonelo sebudlelwane, okungabhekwa njengezigaba. Ungacabanga ukuthi i-cinema yezwe, inganekwane, imlando yezwe noma izenzakalo zomlando ezithembekile ngaphandle kwalesi sibalo sothando-geometri? Cha! Ngoba ngaphandle kwalo, njengokungena ngaphandle kokuvuna kwisitsha: okusha, okuyisicefe, okungenakusihlwa. Akuyona nje isiko, kodwa konke ukuphila kwethu, bekuyobe kuhlwempu kakhulu ngaphandle kwabathengisi abahle kakhulu bezintathu zangasese njenge-"Quiet Flows the Don", "Love and Doves", "iGatsby Enkulu", ngakho-ke ngaphandle kokuthandana "ngamagumbi" amathathu. Kodwa kuyinto eyodwa ukuzwa ukushisa komdlandla kanye namaqhawe ama-movie, ama-popcorn wokuhlafuna, nokunye okunye-ukuze abe "emagumbini" emdlalweni wakho wothando. Kodwa ingabe kufanelekile ukubiza ubudlelwane lapho siphoqeleka khona ukuthuthukisa ukuze silondoloze uthando lwethu? Mhlawumbe kufanele sibheke isimo esingekho "ekhoneni", kodwa kusuka ngaphandle? Mhlawumbe kuyacaca ukuthi unxantathu othandwayo umane nje umdlalo lapho lowo owazi imithetho yawo ezuzisa!

Ubani okufanele abekwe icala nokuthi yini okumelwe akwenze?

Isihloko senxantathu yothando sithinteka ikakhulukazi ngabesifazane. Yilabo abavame ukuphendukela kubacwaningqondo bezinkinga zengqondo ngenkinga yothando, lapho umlingani evele khona. Yena, yena nomthandi wakhe - unxantathu oyingqayizivele, lapho, njengokubusa, "ukuxhumana okubuthakathaka" komfazi uzizwa. Ngoba ngezikhathi zonke, izinduna zazibhekwa njengezilwane ezidliwayo, futhi abafazi babezisulu zesimo samanje. Nansi impendulo yombuzo othi "Ubani ongabekwa icala?" Kunjengokungathi kuvela. Blame - umthandi, umyeni - ongenamanga, nomkakhe - "imvu empofu"! Ngakho kuyadingeka ngokusho kwemithetho yohlu hlobo, ngakho-ke inkantolo enhle kunazo zonke emhlabeni inqume - inkantolo yomphakathi. Yini engingayenza? Kulo mbuzo, umphakathi unesibopho esiqinile: ukwenza inkosikazi, ukuxolela umyeni wakhe nokumphoqa ukuba amthande umkakhe, futhi anikeze umkakhe isihloko esihloniphekile esithi "uMartyr oNgcwele oNgcwele"! Uma ushintsha isimo sengqondo, bese uzama ukubheka isimo ngokuhlekisa, khona-ke umgubuzelo wokubaluleka uwela futhi kubonakala okusanhlamvu kweqiniso. Akunabo kuphela abanecala futhi abantu abalungile! Kodwa kunombono womphakathi kanye nezinkolelo eziye zaba yingxenye ebalulekile yokwazi kwethu, futhi lapho sikholwa khona, njengasemagunyeni ethu. Kodwa kuthiwani uma sibheka isimo hhayi njengengozi yemvelo yonke, kepha njengethuba lokuphenduka "kusixhumanisi esibuthakathaka" sibe yinduna yaleso simo? Ucabanga ukuthi kunzima? Akunjalo! Uma wazi imigomo yomdlalo lapho impilo isakaze khona "amakhadi" amathathu, uzokwazi ukwakha isu lakho elihlakaniphile lokubuyela kumyeni esifubeni somndeni. Kodwa kungenzeka ukuthi phakathi "nomdlalo" uzothola ukuthi uthole okuthile okubaluleke kakhulu - uthando nokuhlonipha wena. Futhi-ke, kholwa mina, umyeni wakho uzokhipha "ikhoneni" elingeqile futhi uzozibuza ukuthi ungathanda kanjani umkakhe, ophinde, uvele, uyazi ukuthi ungadliwa kanjani.

"Umbono weStool" noma kungani kukhona unxantathu onothando

Kunombono wokuthi ngokoqobo eminwe, noma kunalokho, "emilenzeni", uchaza ukuthi kunqunywa kanjani unxantathu onothando. Ibizwa ngokuthi "Theory of Stool". Ake sithi isitokisi umndeni, futhi imilenze emibili yindoda nomkayo. Ngomzuzwana othile (ngesizathu esaziwa kuphela emndenini onobuhle "obumnyama kubo bonke abanye"), isitokisi sishiya imilenze emibili bese iqala ukuwa. Kukhona izizathu eziningi: ukunganeliseki ngocansi, ukubukeka, ubudala, borscht, imali, njll. Lokhu kuvela lapho kuvela khona "inyawo lesithathu" noma yesine "footol". Imilenze eyengeziwe ingcono kulokho kubonga kubo isitoreji sigcinwe ngokuqinile. Kunengqondo ehlakaniphile mayelana nalesi simo phakathi kwabantu: "Umuntu omuhle wesokunxele uqinisa umshado!" Ubudlelwano ohlangothini lungaba ukwesekwa okuthembekile kobudlelwane obuyisisekelo. Kodwa-ke, uma ususa enye yemilenze eyadala umndeni, bese isesigodini, njengesizathu esakhiwe ngunxantathu uthando, ayikho iphuzu. Kuvela ukuthi imilenze "yokuphumula" yayingumsizi wonke. Ngaphandle kwesitokisi, balahlekelwa inani, futhi akukho sidingo kubo. Ngamanye amazwi, uma umshado uphazamisa, ngakho-ke akukho sidingo sokungena ngaphandle, ngoba ayikho into yokuqinisa. Ngakho-ke, ngokuvamile kwenzeka ukuthi lapho umndeni wangaphambili uphela ukuba khona, iselula entsha yomphakathi kusuka kubathandi bokuqala ayitholakali. Ngakho-ke, kulo mqondo uqobo isiphetho esicacile siphume: uthando ngeke lube ngumuntu we-polygonal, uma izidingo zombili zombili zigcwele ukwaneliseka.

Unganqoba kanjani kunxantathu yothando?

Ukubusa komdlalo inombolo 1: Ukwakha isu

Uma ubhala phansi lesi sihloko, cishe kungenzeka ukuthi ukhona esiteji uma sekuphuzile kakhulu ukuthola ukuthi ubani ozobekwa icala ngendandatho yothando ethandwayo, kodwa yisikhathi sokuthola impendulo yokunganiki ubuthongo, futhi kukhona umbuzo othi: "Yini engingayenza?" Ngaphambi Kuzo zonke, udinga ukuxoxa ngokukhululekile nawe futhi uqonde, ufuna ukulungile noma ujabule? Uma uqinisile, kuzomele uqeshe abaphenyi ngokushesha ngokuqapha komyeni wakho, abaduni - ngokuphinga wonke amaphasiwedi akhe, nomfundisi webhokisi - ukuthumela umphikisana nokukhwehlela. Kodwa, lapho uvula ukuzingelwa kwabathandi, funa ukwethembeka ngokweqile kuwe, uphendule le mibuzo: "Ngizokwenzenjani ngeqiniso elitholiwe?" Futhi "Ngilungele yini ukubhubhisa ubuhlobo nomyeni wami?" Emva kokuchayeka, izinqumo zokukhonkolo nezenzo eziqhubekayo kumele zilandele. Uma ubona zonke izingozi, futhi umgomo wakho yiluhlukaniso, bese uphuma waya e-warpath bese ufakazela ukufaneleka kwakho.

Ukubusa komdlalo inombolo 2: Ukufuna izizathu

Kunenye indlela lapho wena nomyeni wakho nijabula ndawonye. Uma uxabisa ubuhlobo obuye kwaqinisekiswa ngokuphindaphindiwe ngokusekelwa okuqotho, ukubamba iqhaza nothando, okubiza kakhulu kunanoma yisiphi isisindo - yeka ukumba! Ukusesha akudingi inkosikazi, kodwa izizathu ezidala unxantathu. Uma ungaxazululi izimbangela, kodwa uzoqeda imiphumela, njll. ama-mistresses, bese uchitha amandla akho-omunye, omunye, njalo njalo uzothatha indawo eyodwa. Futhi okulandelayo kuzoba konke okuncane futhi okungenangqondo. "Ukuthungwa" ukuthola izizathu okudingayo ukuziqala ngazo! Yini engazange iqede? Yini ongayibonanga? Yini engazange iqede? Ukuphikisana, ngikholelwa, ngokushesha noma ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ngokwayo kuzowela izicupho ezithandwa yizintandokazi zesifazane nezothando. Akunakwenzeka, ukuthatha umyeni wakhe emndenini futhi ejabule ngokuthokoza ngesimo esivelayo somfazi, uyaqaphela ukuthi ngokuthatha indawo yomfazi, ukhulula inkosikazi yakhe. Kulesi simo, ngeke kusebenze isikhathi eside.

Ukubusa komdlalo inombolo 3: Siyaphinda sibhale "izinhlelo"

Ukubeka phambili ngokufanele isu elikhethiwe. Kumele uqonde ukuthi kubaluleke nakakhulu ukuthi ungabuyeli umyeni ohlukumezayo ukuthi uphume kunxantathu ngomuntu oyinqobe, hhayi ngaphezu komphikisana naye - kodwa onqobayo emehlweni akho, nangaphezu kokwesaba kwakho, izinkimbinkimbi kanye nokuphelelwa yisikhathi. Bafihla ngaphansi kwezinkolelo, umphakathi "wokuziphatha" kanye nombono walabo abangaceliwe, kodwa ngubani owazi njalo ukuthi angalungile kanjani. Khipha engqondweni yakho izimo zengqondo ezikuhlela empini yakudala enxantathu yakudala. Bhala kabusha "izinhlelo" lapho uhlaselwe yindoda yendoda, umyeni uyisisulu sezilwane ezilahlayo, futhi ngokujwayelekile - "wonke amadoda angowakho ..."! Yenza okungezona okujwayelekile, bese kuthi lapho usudala njengezwe lempi yothando uthola izixazululo ezintsha nezilula. Esikhundleni sokusebenzisa amandla negesi ekutholeni abanecala nokuziphindiselela, bachithe kuzo othandekayo wakho. Bhalisela umdanso - mhlawumbe ube nesifiso, cela umphathi wakho ukuhamba kwebhizinisi - mhlawumbe kude, thandana - mhlawumbe ngaphakathi kwakho!
Esikhundleni sokusebenzisa amandla negesi ekutholeni abanecala nokuziphindiselela, bachithe kuzo othandekayo wakho. Bhalisela umdanso - mhlawumbe ube nesifiso, cela umphathi wakho ukuhamba kwebhizinisi - mhlawumbe kude, thandana - mhlawumbe ngaphakathi kwakho!

Abanqobile nabanqobileyo

Vula umhlaba wakho uphelele phansi - kufike kuwe. Kodwa ulahlekelwa yiphi? Ngeke kuze kube njalo! Ngakho yipende ngemibala emisha bese udala ipharadesi lakho! Yini eyolandela lolu shintsho? Umyeni wakho uyojabula kakhulu ekuqaleni! Kubonakala kuye ukuthi enxantathu yena wadala, uyinqola: futhi inkosikazi yokuncoma iseduze, futhi umlingani "okhululekile" ohlala engqondweni yokungcwele. Ukudlala ngokucophelela naye "ekunikezeni", uyaqhubeka ukushintsha. Ungavumeli ubusuku, kodwa ngeke akwazi ukuphawula lokhu. Futhi kakade lezi zingu-metamorphoses, kholwa mina, zizobangela isithakazelo kulo! Khona-ke, kusukela "ekhoneni elingakwesokunxele" le-ring yangunxantathu, kuzokwenziwa amahlazo ekhelini lomyeni. Isikhathi sithatha, futhi naso intsha yendlovukazi. Umshado wakhe awunakulinganisela, futhi usengumfazi nje! Kodwa izikhalazo ezingaphezu kwalokho anakho, "izintambo" ezingaphezulu onakho. Umphikisana naye uqala ukucasula umyeni wakhe ngokwengeziwe, ngenkathi uqiniseka ngokwengeziwe, kuvumelana futhi kukhangayo, kubandakanya namanye amadoda abantu. Kodwa into eyinhloko ukuthi uba ngowesifazane ohlakaniphile ongalinda kuze kube yilapho "isondo" lenza ukuphenduka kwalo! Manje awusoze wavumelana nendima yesisulu futhi uthatha ilungelo lokunquma ukuthi ubani ohluliwe nokuthi ubani onqobayo! Ngenxa yesimo "esingunxantathu," uye wavuka ngaphezu kwejwayelekile, futhi wafinyelela ezingeni elisha, lapho unganandaba khona ngokubanzi, kuyoba khona indoda noma omunye umuntu oseduzane. Ngomunye owesifazane owenza imithetho yakhe yomdlalo, kuyohlale ukhona!