Inkulumo ethi "owesifazane akadingi nanoma yini kunoma ubani" uhlala nje emabinzana, ezwakala ngokufana nokuhlambalaza, futhi ephule ngokuphila kwansuku zonke, lapho owesifazane ezimweni eziningi kufanele futhi kufanele. Ukuvuselela lesi sitatimende, ngifuna ukukhumbula "incwadi ye-hostess", ekhishwe ekuqaleni kwama-60. Namuhla, ukufundwa kwayo kwabesifazane banamuhla kuzobangela ukuba okungenani kusimangaze, ngoba ngaphezu kweqiniso lokuthi kunezeluleko zokuziphatha nokuphila ngokujwayelekile, cishe kuzo zonke ikhasi kukhona ukuthi "owesifazane ubophekile" futhi "kufanele". Imisebenzi yendoda iguqukela ekungenani, futhi ikhathalela okungaphezu kokuthile okuyisisekelo, kunokuba lula kokuphila kwansuku zonke. Futhi kuvela ezinhlobonhlobo ezinjalo ukuthi impilo yethu yadalwa ngendlela enkulu.
Ngakho-ke, ake sicabangele ukuthi owesifazane kufanele anakekele umyeni wakhe, noma ingabe yinsali nje yombono wesikhathi esedlule?
Owesifazane njengoba kunjalo
Mhlawumbe, isayensi nobuchwepheshe kusekude kakhulu ekudaleni izinto ezifana nalezi, lapho ukusebenza kwayo kungaphumelela kowesifazane. Siyakwazi ukwenza izinto eziyinkulungwane nanye ngosuku, ngenkathi sithola isikhathi sokuba wonke umuntu nakho konke, ukufundisa, ukuphatha, ukulungiselela, ukuhlanza, ukugeza, ukulalela, ukukhuluma, ukusebenza nokukhathazeka kwabo bonke abaseduze nathi. Sisoloko sikhononda ngokuntuleka kwesikhathi, kodwa ngesikhathi esisodwa njalo ngomzuzu sithatha okuthile okuwusizo. Ngesizathu esithile, izingane eziningi zishaqeka uma zizohlala noyise izinsuku ezimbalwa, futhi kuleso simo, upapa awusongeli lutho. Futhi yikuphi okuthakazelisayo kakhulu, ungayithola umbuzo ofanayo kusuka ezinhlangothini zombili: "Yini okufanele ngiyenze ngayo?" Ngisho noma ucabanga ngendlela efanele, uhlala ndawonye, futhi ukhuliswe ndawonye, kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Impendulo ilula: "Lona ngubaba wami (indoda, indoda), futhi umama (umkami, owesifazane) kufanele ...". Futhi sikwazi ukubekezelela lokhu kalula, futhi ngezinye izikhathi siyajabula ngisho nalokhu kuncike kithi, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi sifuna ukushintsha into, nakuba intshiseko enjalo ihamba ngokushesha, iphendukela ekuphileni okuvamile kwansuku zonke nezenzo.
Ngokucabangela impilo evamile yowesifazane wesilinganiso kusukela ekuqaleni kuze kube sekupheleni, ungakwazi ukulandela ukuphikisana okuningi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, esemncane, intombazane evela kumama wayo ilalela imiyalo, umgomo wayo ongekho ukuphindaphinda amaphutha akhe ebusheni, lapho yena, ngaphansi kokuqondiswa okucacile kowesifazane, "ukuze umyeni wakhe angabaleki," kuthatha konke okukuyo. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ingane ibona isithombe somndeni wonke futhi ibamba izinto eziyisisekelo zokuziphatha. Njengoba usukhulile, le ntombazane isithola inkululeko yokuzikhethela nesenzo, kodwa ngesizathu esithile sibuyela kulokho okwakukhona, ngaphandle kokuzama ukushintsha noma yini. Ngabe thina ngokwethu singazifaka zonke lezi izinkathazo, izinkinga kanye nemisebenzi yasendlini thina ngokwethu nje ngoba siyayithanda? Noma kuthiwani-ke lapho sisitshela ukuthi sizidalwa ezibuthakathaka, futhi ngesikhathi esisodwa sibeka emagxeni ethu imithwalo enzima. Ake sicabangele izinjini zethu, ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nokungadingekile, ukucabangela.
Uthando
Ngokuqondene nokunakekela umyeni wakhe, lona wesifazane uqondiswa kuphela ngesici esisodwa - uthando. Kungumzwelo oqhakazile kusukela ezinsukwini zokuqala okusiphoqa ukuthi sithathe konke okusemandleni ethu, sizama ukuvikela othandekayo nabathandekayo bazo zonke izinkinga. Kodwa kaningi intshiseko enjalo iwela yonke imingcele, futhi ngenxa yalokho, indoda ehlala endlini ivame ukutholakala endaweni ephephile nephephandaba, noma ingene ezindabeni zayo siqu, futhi umfazi uqhekeke kuzo zonke izinhlangothi. Sicabange impilo yomndeni futhi sinakekela umyeni wethu? Bambalwa abantu abazophendula yebo.
Esinye isizathu salesi sigaba semithwalo yemfanelo ngumqondo wokuphila komndeni. I-pier, umkami kufanele aphathe konke okuzungeze indlu futhi akhulise izingane, umyeni wakhe ukuya emsebenzini, kusihlwa wonke umuntu uyaqiniseka ukuthi uzoqoqa isidlo esishisayo futhi konke kuhle, okukhanyayo nokukhanyayo, njengama-movie amadala. Kodwa ukuphila kuvamise ukuphanga, kanti umndeni onjalo udinga ukusebenza kanzima. Futhi ngenxa yesizathu esithile, abesifazane bafuna ukuthatha lo msebenzi, bakhohlwa ukuthi umndeni uqukethe okungenani abantu ababili futhi indlela yokuphila kufanele ihlukaniswe ibe yizibili. Kodwa bambalwa abantu abavela ezinsukwini zokuqala zomshado banquma ukusabalalisa okunjalo. Ngakho-ke kuvela ukuthi umfazi onenhloso enhle unakekela umyeni wakhe. Yena, ekutholeni izandla zomnakekeli ezandleni zomkakhe, akudingeki enze lutho mayelana nendlu, kanti umfazi akabuzi. Yile ndlela esiphila ngayo ngeveli elibomvu, futhi uma liphela, sekuphuzile kakhulu ukwenza futhi ushintshe okuthile.
Noma mhlawumbe ndawonye?
Okufanele kube nomndeni ojabulisayo - uma kungekhona nje umfazi okhathalela umyeni wakhe, kodwa ngesikhathi esifanayo uzizwa ukukhathazeka okuphindaphindiwe. Lingazibonakalisa ngokwezifiso ezimbalwa, kodwa kulula kakhulu ukuba umfazi aphile. Kungcono ukujwayela umyeni wakho ekuphathweni okuhlangene kokuphila kwansuku zonke eminyakeni yokuqala yomshado, ngoba imithetho eqinisiwe isuke kunzima kakhulu ukushintsha.
Yiqiniso, lokho ekuphileni kwenzeka nakwezinye izindlela, lapho umyeni eba ngumnikazi omuhle endlini, futhi umfazi ngalesi sikhathi wenza umsebenzi, noma akenzanga lutho. Kodwa lokhu kuyinto ehlukile kunomthetho. Ngokuvamile, kuvamile ukuthi abesifazane bakhathazeke ngokuthi umyeni udle lokho akugqoke, lapho eyoba khona, ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo balinde ukubuya endaweni ethile emphefumulweni wakhe futhi uqhubeke nokukhathalela, ngisho noma engekho.
Ngakho-ke, dadewethu abathandekayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungakhathazeki kanjani ngokwemvelo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungafuni ukuvikela inkinga yakho kuzo zonke izinkinga zasemakhaya, cabanga ngalokho okudingayo esikhathini esizayo, enye ingane noma umngane wakho womshado ongathembela ngokuthembekile kunoma yikuphi, ukuthola ukwesekwa nokusiza kulo.
Ngicabanga ukuthi iningi lingathanda ukubona ukusekelwa kumfazi, ngakho-ke ungachithi isikhathi esingenalutho ngamakhulu ezinkimbiso, kungani engakwazi. Khumbula, uma kungenzeka, kungani kungenjalo omunye umuntu? Uma ulawula ukuba ngumfazi, umama, isisebenzi, nenkosikazi, ungacela ngokuphepha ukuthi oshade naye enze izindima ezifanayo. Ngaleso sikhathi kuphela ukunakekelwa kwakho kungabizwa ngesithunzi.