Kodwa ake sinqume ukuthi yiziphi izidakamizwa. Laba bantu ababeka intando yabo kanye nemibono kwabanye, musa ukubekezelela uma bephikisana futhi bephikisana nabo. Basusa abantu babo abaseduze nabomdabu abanelungelo lokwenza izinqumo ezizimele, abavunyelwe ukuba babe nesikhala sabo siqu abangayilawuli. Kudingeka bazi mayelana nesinyathelo ngasinye nesenzo sakho. Lokhu akufaneleki nje kuphela ezindlebeni zemali, kodwa nakwesigqoko sakho, ekukhethweni kombuthano wakho womphakathi, isikhathi sokuxhumana, kokubili nabangani kanye nabazali bakho. Futhi, umyeni oyisiyaluyalu uthola iphutha ngokuthi usebenza kanjani etafuleni, nokuthi iqiniso lokuthi umbhede awugcini ngendlela ayithandayo kanye nezinkwa zokudla ongazange uzibone ngaphansi kwetafula lekhishi.
Yiqiniso, kunabesilisa abacindezelayo ababonisa ingxenye yabo kuphela. Isibonelo, ekulawuleni kokusebenzisa imali kuphela noma ukuveza ukulawulwa kokuxhumana nobulili obuhlukile. Uma ufuna ukuya nentombazane e-cafe, ngeke ulalele ukuphikisana kwakho, kodwa umane uyenqabe ukwenza konke. Kubuye kwenzeke ukuthi indoda iphenduka umashiqela kuphela ekhaya, emva kokuba mnandi futhi ehloniphekile ekukhulumeni nabalingani emsebenzini.
Eqinisweni, i-psychology yobuhlobo, lapho umyeni engumashiqela, nomfazi uyisisulu, kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Ngempela, ubudlova obwenziwe phezu kwentando yomuntu, ikakhulukazi uma kwenzeka phakathi kwabashadile (futhi empeleni indoda efuna ukuhlukumezeka nokucindezela ngokweqile futhi icindezela intando yomkayo) iyinqubo, empeleni, iyinto enengekayo futhi engamuntu. Nokho, lokhu akusho ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthi indoda ayithandi umlingani wayo. Mhlawumbe unobuthakathaka nje?
Kungenzeka ukuhlukanisa abahlukumezi ngokweqile ngamaqembu amathathu.
Abahlukumezi beqembu lokuqala babonakala ukuthi bafuna ukusungula ukulawula jikelele. Umbuzo oyintandokazi kunazo zonke wabesilisa abacindezelayo, ababuza kumakhosikazi abo: "Kuphi?". Lo muntu udinga ukwazi ukuthi ungubani nokuthi umkakhe noma ingane yakhe bahambaphi, ukuthi benzani, abangabangane babantwana bakhe, kungani umkakhe kamuva ebuyela ekhaya evela emsebenzini nalapho elele khona imizuzu engamashumi amathathu. Kumelwe azi konke nokulawula, ngoba nje kuphela uzizwa eqiniseka.
Ama-Tyrants eqenjini lesibili afisa ukuhlazisa umkakhe ngokuziphatha. Kancane kancane umhlupha. Ngezinye izikhathi basebenzisa imishwana enjengokuthi: "Ungumuntu ongenamakhono ngaphandle kwemfundo, awukwazi ukwenza ngaphandle kwami" noma into enjengale: "Usukela kude nakho konke, ngubani ozokuthatha ukusebenza", "Bheka wena esibukweni, ngubani okudingayo ngaphandle kwami? ". Ngakho-ke, ukwandisa ukuzethemba kwakhe, futhi umkakhe uphefumulelwe ukuthi yena ngaphandle kwakhe uzonyamalalala futhi akukho lutho olungakwenza. Uyakudinga nje, ngaphandle kwalo akulutho, indawo engenalutho.
Ama-Tyrants eqembu lesithathu angakwazi ukusebenzisa ubudlova emzimbeni ngokumelene nomkakhe ngisho nezingane. Ukusebenzisa izibhamu yisilinganiso esiphezulu sokubonakaliswa kobudlova emndenini. Izitatimende zingakhathali zibonisa ukuthi abesifazane nabantwana bavame ukuhlukunyezwa yindoda nobaba enolaka. Okunye okungenza kube nzima futhi ngakho isimo esinzima sezinto, ukusetshenziswa kotshwala noma izidakamizwa, ngoba banamandla okwandisa ukuhlukumeza futhi bakwazi ukukhubaza ngokuphelele ukulawula izenzo zomuntu.
Njengomthetho, umhlukumezi wasekhaya uveza ubuhlungu bakhe kuphela ngokuphathelene nomndeni wakhe, ngaphakathi kwendlu yakhe. Futhi lapho ehlangana nomgwaqo ongekho emgwaqweni, cishe ngeke akwazi ukumelana naye. Ngoba ngaphakathi kwakhe uhlala inhlanzi encane nebuthakathaka.
Kungani umuntu ethola indoda evamile, kanti abanye bahlupheka ngenxa yokucindezelwa? Yebo, ngoba intombazane eyodwa, ezwe izikhathi eziningana imibuzo yoluhlelo olunjengokuthi "Uphi?" Noma "Kungani sekusele imizuzu eyishumi" ihlukana nobudlelwane futhi ayifuni ukubika njalo ngesinyathelo ngasinye esithathiwe, futhi esinye, siyobekezelela, bese usuka uzobe eshadile futhi uzoba nobulungisa phambi kwakhe konke ukuphila kwakhe. Konke mayelana nokuzikhethela kwethu, ngoba akekho obeka umshado kithi kumashiqela, sikhetha thina ngokwethu. Yonke le mibuzo ebonakala ingenacala iwuphawu lokungaphepheki kwakhe. Emva kwakho konke, uyabanjwa ukwesaba ngenxa yokuthi akayikushiya ukukhathazeka ukuthi uzothola umphikisi ofanelekile ngenhliziyo yakho. Futhi amantombazane amaningi ekuqaleni acabanga ukuthi uma ekhwele, abathanda. Hm, ingabe yena? Mhlawumbe uyayithanda, kodwa ngeyakhe, uthando olukhethekile.
Ngakho sifike esiphethweni esitshela ukuthi amanye amantombazane avumela ukuthi umashiqela azilawule, kuyilapho abanye bengakwenzi. Uhlobo luni lwabesifazane abavunyelwe ukuphatha?
Laba besifazane abanesimo esifanayo emndenini wabo nobaba wabo ohlukumezayo. Ubamba yonke into njengesipanji futhi abumbe umbono onjalo ukuthi lokhu kuyisibonelo esifanele sobudlelwane, lapho umuntu enesibindi futhi enobudlova, futhi owesifazane uyazithoba. Lapha kuyinto engokwemvelo futhi ifuna indoda yensimbi, ekwazi ukuhlazisa, okuzomnika ithuba lokuzithoba.
Ngokuphathelene nomthelela wesibindi, izisulu zesifazane zingase ziwe. Sinokuthembela kwengqondo ebuhlotsheni obunjalo. Indoda engumashiqela, eyazi amandla akhe phezu kwekhaya, iyakujabulela, futhi umfazi njalo ufuna izizathu zokuziphatha kwakhe nokubonakaliswa kobudlova ngokukhathala, umsebenzi wokusebenza emsebenzini, njll. Ngezinye izikhathi ukuhlukana kobudlova ngenxa yokungalaleli kubangelwa ukuthi bafunga omunye nomunye othandweni ethuneni noma babuyiselwa ngosizo locansi olubudlova. Futhi umfazi uyaxhomeke ezinhlakalweni ezinjalo nokubuyisana, njengomlutha wezidakamizwa.
Owesifazane ungaphakathi kwalesi simo, okusho ukuthi ngeke akwazi ukubona ukuthi usetshenziswa kanjani. Futhi lapho umndeni wami nabangane baqala ukumtshela ukuthi uyayilawula njengepopi, akakholelwa. Futhi uthi bangamhawukela futhi bafuna ukumvimbela ngokujabula, ngoba ulungile, uhlamvu lwakhe luyindlala.
Uma ucabanga ukuthi ungamqeda kanjani umashiqela, udinga ukuthatha isenzo. Udinga ukubonisa u-tyrant ukuthi izihlobo zakho, abangane, abafowethu bazokwazi ngazo zonke izenzo zakhe. Futhi bayokusiza ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi bamjezise.
Memezele ukuthi kunezihloko ezinjalo emthethweni wezobugebengu obiza ukuphendula ngokushaya, ukuhlushwa kwezindiza zokuziphatha nezomzimba.
Uma ungasebenzi, qiniseka ukuthi uthole umsebenzi futhi uthole imali yakho siqu. Khona-ke uzothola ukuzethemba nokuzimela ngokwezimali kumyeni wakhe. Kodwa-ke ungakwazi ukuhamba kuye futhi unqume konke ubuhlobo naye, okuyindlela ephumelela kakhulu yokulwa nomyeni wesibindi.
Lena ingqondo yezobudlelwano, lapho umyeni engumashiqela, futhi umfazi uyisisulu. Ngamunye wethu udinga ukuzikhethela ukuthi uzohlala yini nalo muntu, ezama ukuphinde amfundise, noma ukushiya kuze kube phakade, enethemba lokuthola isikhulu sangempela?