Ubudlelwano phakathi komamazala nomalokazana

Abesifazane ababili besifazane ekhishini elilodwa - umdlalo omdala wezemidlalo! Imfundiso, indlela yokupheka kahle isobho, izingxabano mayelana nombala wekhawundlela nokuphazamiseka empilweni yomuntu wonke umuntu ... Kungenzeka yini ukwenza ngaphandle kwezikhalazo nezisulu? Ubuhlobo phakathi komamazala nomalokazana kuyindlela ebalulekile yokuphila komndeni ojabulisayo.

Yebo ungakwazi. Isibonelo, uma ikhaya lakho liyindlu evulekile yezwe, lapho ungeke ubone khona amasonto nomama wakho noma umkhwekazi wakho. Noma uma wazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukuhlala nomndeni onjalo isikhathi eside futhi uzoba abanikazi bezindlu zakho esikhathini esingaphezulu kweminyaka engu-1-2. Kulezi zimo, iseluleko sesizukulwane esidala ngeke sibonakale singathandeki, futhi ukuphawula kuzothathwa ngokumangalisayo: "Yebo, kubonakala sengathi sekuyisikhathi sokuhlela ukuqeqeshwa ukuvala itompom - uma kungenjalo sizokhukhula wonke umnyango!" Futhi ngenxa yezimangalo kukhona ifomu lokuhleka: "Mama, ungapheki ama-sausages ekuseni." Iphunga lawo lithatha izingubo: wonke amakati wesifunda aya kimi. " Mhlawumbe uzothanda ukuhlala ndawonye futhi, ngokuhamba phambili, uzothola ukudabuka okuncane ... Uma kufanele uhlale ekamelweni elincane, futhi amathemba ezindlu ngabanye alindelekile, khona-ke ukulwa, ngisho nangendlela elula kakhulu, akunakugwemeka. Ngoba akusikho ukuthi ungubani nokuthi ungalima kanjani noma ukhulise izingane. Okuyinhloko yezingxabano "ama-landladies amabili" nakuba ebonakala kaningi emkhakheni wokuphila, eqinisweni, kujulile kakhulu.


Ungabantu abadala

Futhi kuba nzima kubantu abadala ukuthi bahlale nesizukulwane esidlule. Futhi yilesi isizathu sokuqala sokungqubuzana. Emva kwakho konke, umuntu omdala uyisifiso sokuzimela, ukubonakaliswa kwesinyathelo kanye nokuqinisekiswa kuzo zonke izigaba zokuphila. Kodwa abazali bahlale benesifiso esingenakuqhathaniswa: ngakolunye uhlangothi, bafuna ukwenza umntwana azimele ukuze amkhulule ekubeni ngumuntu omdala, futhi ngakolunye uhlangothi, bayaqhubeka bemnakekela! Uma uhlala ngokwehlukana, ukunakekelwa okuthinta okunjalo kuthinta wena. Uma kuhlangene - kungumthwalo. Akunakwenzeka ukuzizwa ukhulile uma utshele njalo ekuseni: "Hamba ngokucophelela, futhi uqiniseke ukuthi udla kushisa emini!"


Isizathu sesibili ukungabi nesikhala. Ngesikhathi esifanayo, ngokumangalisayo, inani lamamitha ayisigca namakamelo akubalulekile kakhulu - kungenxa yesikhala somuntu siqu. Ngamunye wethu, nakuba ngezinye izikhathi, udinga ukuba yedwa nathi: ukuzindla ngokuthula ngombuzo obalulekile kithi (ukungaphazanyiswa abanye), ukulala ngenhliziyo yonke embhedeni (singalindeli ukuhlambalaza ngomzuzu ngamunye ebuvila) noma kusukela enhliziyweni ukuhlabelela endlini yokugezela (kungabi namahloni ukuntuleka kwezwi nokuzwa). Uma sinqatshelwe ithuba lokuziphathisa njengento ethandwa, kuvela umuzwa wokucindezela nokuqina, ukuzwa okuqhubekayo: "Angikwazi ukuphumula okwesikhashana!" Ngakho - ukucasuka okwandayo kulabo abakushiya leli thuba. Isizathu sesithathu kuba umehluko weminyaka. Abantu bezizukulwane ezahlukene babe nemikhuba ehlukene nemibono yokuphila. Ungamthanda kakhulu ugogo wakho noma umama, kodwa umkhuba wabo wokugeza izingubo ngesandla ("Ngakho umbala ungagcinwa kangcono") bese ukulenga izingubo kuzo zonke izindlu kungahle kungalingani. Futhi uma umsikazi womama wesibili - umama noma umkhwekazi-owesifazane ogugile kakhulu, ungaba namandla onzima. Uhlala umnika amandla akho nemizwelo yakho, futhi, ngokufanayo, uzizwa uphelelwe amandla ngokuphelele. Isizathu sesine yizinkinga zobuntwana. Ubuhlobo bomzali phakathi komamazala nomalokazana bunzima kakhulu. Uma useneminyaka yobuncane uhlangabezane nezikhalazo, imizwa yokushiya, ukungabi nethando, khona-ke lokhu okubonakalayo kungakuhlukumeza yonke impilo yakho. Kubonakala sengathi uma usukhulile, kufanele ukhohlwe konke, ikakhulukazi kusukela manje ungakwazi ukuqonda kangcono izisusa zezenzo zabazali bakho. Kusobala ukuthi udade osemusha wayebuhlungu, ngoba umama wayesehamba nayo yonke ihlobo e-sanatorium, akazange akushiye! Kodwa cha. Imizwelo yobuntwana ayikho, futhi nalapho nalapho uhlala ndawonye - kunezimpikiswano, izikhalazo zezingane zenziwa ngokuvuselela amandla. Ngenxa yalokho, ukuphila ngaphansi kophahla olulodwa kungaphoqelela umama nendodakazi ukuba badibanisane isikhathi eside kanye nezenzakalo zangesikhathi esidlule bese bethola ukuthi ubani oye wamcasula ngaleso sikhathi.


Ungesabi ukucindezeleka!

Kuze kube nini ungabekezelela ukunganaki kwengqondo? Lokho akuzange kuqale ukuphakama kwezinkinga zempilo - iminyaka emibili. Kukholelwa ukuthi ngalesi sikhathi umuntu uyoba nezinsiza ezingokomzwelo ezanele zokubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa nokugcina ukuzithiba. Ukuhlala isikhathi eside kungaba nomphumela ongajabulisayo we-psyche. Futhi izinguquko ezingalungile zingazibonakalisa ngokwazo hhayi kuma-hysteric noma ama-scandals anomsindo. Isikhathi esiphezulu sokwehlisa isimo sengqondo, ukulindela okungapheli "kokubi" kungabangela ukuthuthukiswa, okuthiwa yi-syndrome yokuthola usizo olungenalutho. Ngesikhathi umuntu eyeka ukucabanga "ngendlela yokwenza kangcono," kodwa ngokuthula nje, ukhuthazelela inkinga. Ukunganakwa okunjalo kungaholela ekucindezelekeni. Ukuhlukunyezwa okuqhubekayo kuyingozi nokuphila kahle komzimba: ingemuva iqala ukulimala, ikhanda kanye nomqondo wokulahlekelwa amandla kungenzeka.


Uma, ekhaya lakho, izingxabano zivulekile - ngokumemeza, ukusola okufanayo nokushaya izidlo, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi ukhululekile ukucindezeleka. Kodwa eminyakeni embalwa kungase kube nomzwelo wokukhathazeka okungenasici nokwesaba noma izinhlobo ezahlukene zokuzikhukhumeza ...

Uma uhlanganyela isiphetho sokuhlala ndawonye nabazali nomyeni noma umlingani ovamile. Okokuqala, unesimo sengqondo sokusekelwa ngokomzwelo, ithuba lokuxoxa ngakho konke futhi into esemqoka ukukhuluma! Okwesibili, indoda engavamile ukuhileleka ekuqothulweni kwekhaya futhi ibe yisiphephelo sokuthula endlini.


Yini engingayenza?

Zijwayele umcabango: "Kuyinto yesikhashana." Ngisho noma kungekho zizathu ezicacile zezifiso ezinjalo. Akukho okucindezelayo njengombono wokuthi isimo esibi siyohlala phakade. Uma ucabanga ukuthi lokhu kuzophela ngokushesha, uzokwazi ukubheka ukuthi kwenzekani emehlweni omuntu ongaphandle, futhi ungabi yinto enzima kakhulu.

"Ngifuna ukuhlala ngokwehlukana, kodwa akunakwenzeka" - gxila le mibono engalungile. Futhi imicabango emihle yilapho ungakwazi ukuchaza isifiso sakho ngokuningiliziwe futhi uhlale ucabanga ngakho. Futhi akusho ukuthi uma ungena ezweni lefantasy, ugwema ukungokoqobo okungalungile. Izazi zengqondo zithi konke esikufunayo ngempela kufezeka.

Buka amadoda futhi ufunde kuwo. Kwenzekani lapho wena nomama wakho (uninazala) sinyathelisa i-warpath ngenxa yezinto ezingenakulungiswa emakamelweni? Le ndoda, njengomthetho, iyanyamalala ngokungenakuqonda, ithatha indawo ku-TV. Futhi uma ucela ukuba khona kwakhe, uzobe esekulalela njengoba ecabanga ngokufudumala kwembulunga yonke. Lokhu kuziphatha (ukushiya isimo) kuzokusiza ukuthi ulondoloze izinzwa zakho. Futhi umama (uninazala) ngeke uqinisekise lutho.


Uma ekhaya lakho uvame ukubhekana nokuhlukunyezwa nokuhlambalaza, indlela engcono kakhulu yokulwa nayo ayikuyiqapheli. Ake ucabange ukuthi umthombo wobubi ungemva kwesibuko, futhi ungakwazi ukushintsha umbala nobuningi beli gilazi emcabangweni wakho. I-Potolche - uma ingxoxo iphendukela engxenyeni engenangqondo, mncane - uma ubona ukuthi i-interlocutor ilungele inkhulumomphendvulwano evamile. Kodwa ngokushesha nje lapho uzwa izinsolo, ingilazi engacabangi engenaziphupho iwela phakathi kwakho. Futhi ngemuva kwakhe ugijimela omunye odakeni, ukukhala, ukugcoba izandla - kubonakala kabi ...

Kubalulekile futhi ukuqeda ukuhlukunyezwa komuntu siqu. Kuphela ngezindlela ezingalimazi muntu. Okulula kunawo wonke kusebenza, noma yimuphi umsebenzi womzimba. Ehloniphekile - yoga, amakilasi ezikhungo zokufaneleka. Kukhona imidlalo yekhompyutha lapho udinga khona ukuthola abahlali futhi ulondoloze isintu kubo.

Izimangalo zokuveza ngamanani amancane. Kungcono ukwenza imibono encane kaningi: abantu bayasabela ngokuthula futhi bangathukutheli. Uma uhlala usithule isikhathi eside, kukhona ukuhlazeka okukhulu okuzayo - emva kokuba ukucindezeleka okuqongelekile kuzodinga indlela yokuphuma.

Ungalwili ilungelo lokugqoka isihloko esithi "u-hostess best." Ngeke ikunikeze izinzuzo kusuka kumalokazanazana. Kodwa ilungelo lensimu yomuntu siqu livikela umamazala wakho! Kufanele ube nekona lakho, lapho kuphela izinto zakho, lapho ungajabulela okungenani imizuzu yokuthula.


Ngempela, ungakwazi ukuzama ukuzolisa, uzame ukungaqapheli ukuhlambalaza nokuhlambalaza, ukuze uzenze sengathi awunandaba nomuntu osobala ukuthi uphuthumayo. Kodwa wonke umuntu, ngisho nokubekezela kwezingelosi, ngezinye izikhathi uyafika emkhawulweni, futhi uma unomuzwa wokuthi usuzoqeda, zama ukusebenzisa amasu alula ukuxazulula ukucindezeleka. Basiza ekunciphiseni ukucindezeleka.

1. Ngezikhathi zokucindezeleka, izingxenye zomzimba ngamunye - intamo, amahlombe, isisu, imifino - ivame ukucindezeleka. Thola emzimbeni wakho indawo ozwa ngayo ukushayisana okukhulu. Vala amehlo akho, gxila kule ndawo, ngokuyinhloko uyalimaza imizuzwana engu-3-4, bese uphumule. Uzozizwa ukucindezeleka kudlula.

Hlala emuva, uhlale phansi, vala amehlo akho, ucabange umcolo ophambi kwakho. Kancane kancane uthathe ukuphefumula okujulile futhi ... faka kakhulu phezulu kobowla. Futhi ngokuphefumula - shiya njengama-slide.

Ukuhlolwa:


Uzizwa kanjani ekhaya?

1. Uma ngempelasonto noma amaholide asondela, ucabanga ukuthi uzobaleka kuphi ekhaya kulezi zinsuku.

2. Uyakhathazeka uma uzwa ingxoxo ekamelweni elilandelayo, imisindo ye-TV noma umsindo wamanzi.

Z. Awunakulungele ukudla etafuleni elifanayo, futhi uzama ukugwema ukudla okuhlangene nabanye oxhumana nabo.

4. Kunezinto eziyinkimbinkimbi, lapho isimo sengqondo sibheka khona njalo.

5. Ubhekene neqiniso lokuthi izicelo zakho nezifiso zakho mayelana nokuphila kwansuku zonke ziyasinakwa.

6. Ukukhulumisana kwakho kunonya (ukukhulumisana ngokuhlanganyela, izikhalo, ukuhleka usulu).

7. Ukubuyela ekhaya, ucabanga ukuthi "Kungaba kuhle uma yena (bona) engekho ekhaya."

8. Uzizwa ungcono uma ubalekile ekhaya (emsebenzini, kubangani, esitolo, ku-cafe).

9. Awufuni ukumema abangani nabajwayelene nabo.

10. Unomuzwa wokuthi uyiphutha.

Izimpendulo ezihlukahlukene:

"Cha, lokhu akukwenzeki" - iphuzu eli-1 "Lokhu kwenzeka okungavamile" - amaphuzu amabili "Ayenzeka, futhi kaningi" - amaphuzu amathathu "Kwenzeka njalo" - amaphuzu angu-4


Ukufingqa:

Uthole amaphoyinti angu-10: ngokuhlala ngokuhlanganyela nomamazala wakho, ubona pluses kuphela, futhi kule nkinga .... Ikhuluma nge-infantilism yakho. Ulindele umkhandlu wabadala kukho konke. Kodwa-ke, uma konke kukufanele, kufanelekile ukushintsha okuthile?

Uthole amaphuzu angu-10 kuya ku-20: uhlangabezana nobunzima bokuphila kwansuku zonke: abantu abahlala ngaphansi kophahla olufanayo baqala ukuzwa imizwelo emibi. Kubalulekile ukuthi akukho ukungazithandi muntu. Kubonakala sengathi umndeni ujabule ngokuhlekisa - uyakwazisa! Uthole amaphuzu angu-20 kuya ku-30: Ukucindezeleka kuphakeme kakhulu. Uma uhlala nomndeni wendoda yakho, lokhu kuyinto evamile, futhi uma kubazali bakho, kufanele ucacise izicelo zakho: "Ungangeni ekamelweni lami uma ngiphumula, futhi vumela ingubo yami ihlale lapha." Ngokucacile? Ngezinye izikhathi ubunzima bokuxhumana buxazululwa kuphela ngale ndlela.

Uthole amaphuzu angu-30 kuya ku-40: uhlangabezana nokucindezeleka okuqhubekayo. Ungazami ukwenza ubuhlobo bungcono. Gcina othintana nabo okungenani: "Kulungile." Phila ngokuthula njengomakhelwane. I-paradox: kulokhu, ubuhlobo phakathi komamazala nomalokazana bangakwazi ukufudumala.