Uhlabela empilweni yengane

Umama ngamunye uthanda ukumbamba umntwana wakhe, ngakho umnika uthando lwakhe, ubonisa isifiso sokuvikela, ukuvikela ekubuneni, ukuzisola. Ikakhulu uma ingane ingayiqondi amagama futhi ikwazi ukubona imizwelo kuphela.


Ezinsukwini zokuqala zokuphila kwakhe, umntwana uzizwa efudumele futhi ehogela njengomama ngenkathi umama ehlangana naye, uyajwayele futhi akhumbule ukuthi lokhu kusho ukuthintana nokuphepha. Yingakho umntwana okhalayo ekwazi ukuqiniseka ukuthi unina wamthatha ezandleni zakhe.

Isazi sefilosofi u-Ashley Montague encwadini yakhe ethi "Touching" esho ukuthi ukuhlanganisa kukwazi ukufundisa ingane ukuba ithande ... Ukuthi umntwana okhunjulwe ngaphambi kweminyaka engu-7 ngeke akwazi ukuzwa imizwa enamandla.

Yamukela, njengentuthuko yobuntu

Kudingeka kangakanani ukumbumbana ingane? Ososayensi be-Ipsychologists baye bafakazela ukuthi ukuthinta, ukuzitika kanye nokuzivumelanisa akugcini nje ukuletha imizwa ejabulisayo, kodwa futhi kunomthelela ekuthuthukiseni izingane. Kukhona igama lezokwelapha elinjalo - "isibhedlela", lisetshenziselwa ngokuphathelene nezingane eziphoqelelwe ukuba zihlale ezindlini zengane. Lezi zingane, naphezu kwawo wonke ama-spectra yazo, kuhlanganise nokuqina, nokusikhipha (nakuba lokhu kubonakala sengathi, kulula futhi kuthinta, kodwa kaningi kunemizwelo engemibala), ekugcineni kuqala ukulahla ngemuva kontanga yabo ekuthuthukisweni.

Njengoba ingane ikhula, akudingeki ukuba umzali amukele. Uwenza abangane, umphakathi wakhe, kodwa ngezinye izikhathi ufuna ukuzwa ukufudumala kukababa wakhe.

Esikhathini esidlule, kwakucatshangwa ukuthi ukuvame ukugxilisa izingane ezilimazayo ngokwabo - bathi ingane ingakhula i-infantile, ifuna ukwazi, ingenangqondo. Manje, izazi ze-psychologists zezingane zithi abantwana, abazali babo abavame ukukhathazeka futhi bamukela, baziphathe ngendlela elinganiselayo, bekhululekile futhi beqiniseka ngokuphila kwabo abadala.

Ngokuvamile, wonke umama uyakwazi ukuzwa intuitively lapho ingane yakhe idinga ukusekelwa okunjalo, njengokukhukhumeza.

"Sidinga ama-hugs angu-4 usuku lokusinda, 8 ukusekela kanye no-12 ukukhula." UVirginia Satir, isazi sezengqondo saseMelika.

Yiqiniso, isidingo sokubamba ingane ngayinye singumuntu ngamunye. Izingane ezincane zingakwazi ukukhathala uma zivame kakhulu ukuwanga, ukumbumbana nokucindezela. Lalela ingane, umlinde: ungamphazamisi uma ematasa noma ehlanganyela. Akudingeki ukuthi uthi, ungamhlukumezi ingane ngokubambisana ngesikhathi sokudla: izingane zingabamba, ziphazamise oyise. Ngisho nomntwana unayo "indawo" yakhe siqu futhi lokhu kufanele kwamukelwe futhi kuhlonishwe.

Ngemva kokubona ingane, uzobona kalula ukuthi ezimweni eziningi izingane ngokwayo zibonisa lapho zidinga ukuhlanganiswa kukayise (noma kababa). Ingane ingakwazi ukuza bese ithatha umzali ngesandla, ubuze amadolo noma izandla, ukugwedla - kungukuthi ngezikhathi ezinjalo lapho kubanjwa khona kuphela, kodwa futhi kuyadingeka. Ngakho-ke, izingane ziqeda ukwesaba nokungabi nalutho.

Kumele uqaphele, kanti iqiniso lokuthi ukubamba iqakathekile kubalulekile futhi akudingeki kuphela ingane, kodwa futhi kumuntu omdala, ngoba umama futhi uyancipha, ukukhukhumeza umntwana wakhe, ukuphumula komzimba, uthola ukukhishwa kwengqondo, uzizwa kubaluleka kwakhe.

Yamukela izingane zakho, zithande futhi uzihloniphe!