Ukuzalwa kwengane kuyisimangaliso sangempela. Injabulo endlini, indoda ehlala isikhathi eside esilindelwe ezandleni zayo. Kodwa kumama omncane, lokhu kuyilingo langempela. Ikakhulukazi ezinyangeni zokuqala komntwana wengane. Luhlobo luni lokuhlaselwa lokhu ukukhathala kokubeletha - isimo esingenakuvinjelwa kunoma yimuphi umama? Noma isifo esingaphathwa ngandlela-thile? Sabuza - siphendula.
I-Blues kid.
Indodana yethu inyanga, ihlale ikhala ebusuku, ilele kuphela ezandleni zakhe. Ngisuka ezinyaweni zami, ngihlala ngilila, ngiyeke "izinja phansi", angikwazi ukubheka ingane ngezikhathi ezithile. Futhi ngiyaphupha kuphela into eyodwa: ukulala!
Njalo umama wesihlanu emva kokubeletha uqala enye yezinkinga zokuthunyelwe - "baby-blues". Isizathu salo - ngokuguquguquka okubukhali, ngokoqobo, kwesimo se-hormonal. Ukuncipha kwamazinga we-progesterone ne-estrogen kubangela ukwesaba, ukucindezeleka nokucindezeleka, ukulahlekelwa kwe-adrenaline kuholela ekunciphiseni kwamandla ngamandla. Ukungabi nokulala, imisebenzi emisha engajwayelekile, ukwakhiwa kwe-lactation kwandisa isimo sezinzwa. Owesifazane angase angathandi lokho okwenzekayo, kodwa akakwazi ukubhekana nesimo yena-udinga usizo ezihlotsheni zakhe. "Qinisekisa" umntwana, umyeni, intombi - futhi usebenzise imizuzu eyigugu yenkululeko ephusheni. Musa ukugijimela izinto: ukuze ululame ngemuva kokubeletha kuthatha amasonto angu-6-8, kodwa uma ukukhulelwa nokubeletha kunzima, le nkathi ayanele.
Unganqikazi ukuxhumana nomjozi wezifo. Isimbangela sokucindezeleka kokuhamba kwesikhathi akusikho "ekhanda", kodwa kuma-hormone, ngakho-ke akuphathwa ngesikhatsi se-psychotherapy, kodwa ngokusetshenziswa kwemithi evunyelwe ngesikhathi sokuncelisa. Khumbula ukuthi emva kokubeletha, umama nengane bayaqhubeka nokugcina ubuhlobo obuseduze. Ukwesaba komama nokukhathala akukwenzeki kodwa kuthinte ingane: uyabakhathazeka, ahlasele, ngisho noma kungekho lutho oluphazamisayo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunzima kangakanani, ingane idinga ukuphathwa ngokuthula, futhi inqubo yokulutha komzimba izohamba ngokushesha.
Umama uphelele.
Ngaphambi kokukhulelwa, ngangijatshulelwe umsebenzi, futhi ngokuzalwa kwendodakazi yami nganquma ukuthi ngizoba ngumama ongcono kakhulu emhlabeni. Indodakazi endala kuneminyaka engu-2.5, indodana yami ineminyaka eyisithupha ubudala. Nginabantwana abakhulu, kodwa mina ngokwami ngaba ngumama womuzi othukile. Izingane zigqoke, zondliwe, zihlanziwe? Futhi kahle. Dlala nabo, funda izincwadi ezingekho amandla. Ngivele ngiyikhohlwe lapho ngiya endaweni ethile ngaphesheya kwebala lokudlala.
Ukuzalwa kwengane yowesifazane kuyinkimbinkimbi yengqondo, kufana nentsha yokuvuthwa. Kulo mama osemncane udluliselwa ekuqapheliseni ukuthi imikhuba yakhe, inkululeko yakhe siqu, izinhlelo zakhe zobuchwepheshe ziqhutshwa ngemuva. U-Perfectionist, owesifazane ojwayele iqiniso lokuthi ungowokuqala kukho konke, kunzima nakakhulu: ukukhetha ukuba "umama ongcono kakhulu emhlabeni", uzama ukuthola ilunga elingenakufinyeleleka. Akunamama abaphelele, kodwa wonke umama unikeza ingane yakhe into enhle kuye. Amahlombe akho asheshe anenkathazo enkulu, futhi kudingeka uphinde ucabangele izinto eziza kuqala: kuqala izingane, wena, futhi indawo yesithathu yindlu kanye nezidingo zendlu. Kwabesifazane abathile, ukuzwa nje kokuthi "ukufuywa kwekhaya" okungadingeki kungabangela ukwehla kwamandla. Omama abanjalo banconywa ukuba baye emsebenzini ngokushesha. Ukushintsha kohlobo lomsebenzi kuzophazamisa imicabango ecashile futhi kuzosebenza njenge-detente. Futhi isidingo sokuba semphakathini sikwenza uzigcine uhlelekile futhi uziqaphele. Okokuqala kungcono ukuthi ungaphumi usuku olugcwele. Izingane zidinga ukuxhumana nawe, futhi udinga isikhathi sokujwayela isigqi esisha sokuphila.
Ukugxeka kwesizathu esihlanzekile.
Umyeni wami weza ekhaya evela emsebenzini futhi walala phansi: yena, ubona, wasebenza usuku lonke futhi ukhathele. Futhi-ke, ngakho-ke, angikhathele ukusebenza ngehora nosana usuku lonke futhi ngisenesikhathi sokupheka ukudla kwakhe! Futhi uyangihlambalaza: bathi, ngiziqalile. Futhi uma ngikwenza ngokwami, uma ngezinye izikhathi angifuni ngisho nokuya endlini yangasese?
Isimo sengqondo esinjalo esiyingxenyeni sezihlobo asamukeleki, kodwa akufanele sibe yisizathu sokukhala izinyembezi noma ukuphendula ngokunyanyisa ukunyanyisa. Ngaphandle komsindo okungadingekile, ngitshele ukuthi awuthandi izitatimende ezinjalo ekhelini lakho. Zama ukukopela. Ngaphansi kwesizathu esicacile (isibonelo, ukuvakashela kudokotela) ushiye umyeni wedwa nomntwana okungenani amahora ambalwa. Akukakushiywa ukuthi manje uzoqala ukucabanga ukuthi kunzima kanjani ukugcina ithrekhi yezimbumbulu. Le ndoda emva kokuzalwa kwengane iphinde igcizelelwe: ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezedlule wayeyinto yokudumisa kwakho, futhi manje konke ukunakwa kwakho kugxile kwengane. Mhlawumbe ukuziphatha okujulile kuyisenzo sokuzivikela, umzamo ongenakuqhathaniswa wokuba "ukuphoqa umphikisi" endaweni yawo. Uma kukhona isifiso nethemba lokuphinda uthole ubuhlobo obuseduze, ungazitholi ngamazwi anomusa futhi uvuse umhawu wakhe ngothando.
Inhlangano yesayensi yezabasebenzi.
Indodakazi yami ithule, inginika ubuthongo, ngiyakwazi ukuzijabulisa. Kodwa umshini wesikole ukhululeka kimi. Yini engingayenza ukuze ngisindise isikhathi namandla?
Zama ukudlulisela okunye okukhathazayo "kubasizi bemishini". Umkhawulo wamaphupho wukuthi zonke izinyunithi zasendlini ziyahlelwa futhi zisebenze ubuncane bokubamba iqhaza kwakho. Pheka "wholesale" kanye nesitolo ukuze usebenzise esikhathini esizayo. Batch iqhwa emifino yamafriji, inyama nomhluzi (usebenzisa, isibonelo, ukubunjwa kwe-ice). Isiyaluyalu senza izinto ezingadingekile, ngakho-ke ngangokunokwenzeka sikhulule mahhala kubo. Ungakhathazeki ngamakhethini, amaphepheni namathoyizi ahlanzekile, ngoba kufanele uwafake. Ukuze uthole izinto zezingane ezivame ukuphindaphinda, qalisa amabhokisi anama-lids: okokuqala, okuqukethwe kwabo akubutheli, okwesibili, nabo, ukuhlanza kuzodinga kuphela ukukhipha izinto ezigulini ezifanele. Ebhokisini elihlukile, faka izinto ezincane, okungeke ukwazi ukunquma okwamanje. Buyela kuleli bhokisi kanye ngesonto uphinde uhlele okuqukethwe. Uma ingane encane kakhulu, amanye amacala angenziwa naye ezandleni zakhe. Futhi-ke ingaxhunyaniswa nemisebenzi yasendlini: izingane zizibheka njengomdlalo ojabulisayo futhi zihlanganyele ngokuzithandela kuzo. Ukunisela izimbali, ukusula uthuli ngamandla ngisho nengane eneminyaka engu-1.5 ubudala. Into esemqoka ayikwenzi ingane iyenze noma yini, kodwa yinikeze usizo lomdlalo. Ngokushesha ubonakala kulula.